Dpe all the progrs LGBTQ+ rights the last few s, queer and genr-nonnformg people are still not fully accepted many muni. And sadly, for some LGBTQ+ dividuals, this rejectn n start right at home.Whether your immediate fay or relativ don’t support gay marriage or believe your sexualy is jt a “phase”, n be heartbreakg feelg unsupported by your loved on. You may feel as if you need to hi parts of yourself om specific fay members, are walkg on eggshells to avoid nontatn, or are exhsted om havg to nstantly te and fend your inty. Jt knowg that those clost to you may not approve of your inty n be paful and ’s important to know, however, that you’re not alone, and you do have optns. While you may not be able to ntrol how your fay reacts or change their mds, there are several ways you n migate your disfort and protect your mental health when an unacceptg environment. Whether you live wh unsupportive fay or see them a few tim a year, here are some tips to navigate tough fay dynamics.
Contents:
- THE GAY COMMUNY’S OBSSN WH STAT AND LOOKS HAS HUGE MENTAL HEALTH COSTS
- SNNG FOR REJECTN — A GAY MAN’S LIFE?
- REJECTED BY FAY FOR BEG GAY OR LBIAN: PORTRAYALS, PERCEPTNS, AND RILIENCE
- WHAT IT’S LIKE WHEN YOU’RE GAY AND DEALG WH REJECTN
THE GAY COMMUNY’S OBSSN WH STAT AND LOOKS HAS HUGE MENTAL HEALTH COSTS
Rearchers are fdg that racism, petn, and a fixatn on sex wh the gay and bi muny are drivg anxiety and prsn. * gay rejection *
But what Pachankis and his lleagu began to notice their work was that gay and bisexual men reported feelg much of their strs g om their peers, or what a new study led by Pachankis lls tra-mory strs. And is the most signifint of s kd to exame muny strsors among gay and bisexual fdgs reveal what many the muny know all too well: that gay and bisexual men n be pretty harsh wh one another and wh ourselv tryg to measure up.
SNNG FOR REJECTN — A GAY MAN’S LIFE?
A myriad of negative psychosocial out face gay men and lbians who experience rejectn by their fay for not beg heterosexual. However, what nstut rejectn is not clear, and, more importantly, is not known how rilience is fostered wh such a ntext. This qualative study … * gay rejection *
Spoke to Pachankis about the leadg strsors that origate wh the muny, their effects on mental and physil health, and how gay and bisexual men might better support one another and venture to move forward were the major prsur you found affectg the mental health of gay and bisexual men? One was strs related to perceivg that the gay muny is overly foced on sex at the expense of long-term relatnships or iendships. The send was that the gay muny is overly foced on stat-related ncerns—thgs like masculy, attractivens, and wealth.
The third was related to perceptns that the gay muny is overly petive, that upholds this kd of sha culture and general social petn.
REJECTED BY FAY FOR BEG GAY OR LBIAN: PORTRAYALS, PERCEPTNS, AND RILIENCE
Dealg wh rejectn when you're gay n be tough. Past experienc n affect how we feel about ourselv and how we perceive others. * gay rejection *
The fourth was that the gay muny is exclnary of diversy, cludg racial-ethnic diversy and age diversy, and discrimatory towards gay men wh rearch fds that each of the class of strsors is associated wh prsn and anxiety. But some likely have a distct impact pendg on where a gay or bisexual man falls along the stat-based peckg orr that a lot of people talked about perceivg as a e of strs.
To the extent that we know ourselv through the reflectn of others, what we fd is that gay and bisexual men might be particularly likely to size themselv up g the same standards of attractivens and succs and masculy that they e to size up their potential sex partners, which n be particularly groups did you fd were disproportnately affected?
It pends on the class of strsor, but broadly speakg, men of lor were more likely to perceive what we ll gay muny strs. We also found that younger men pared to olr men were more strsed, and that bisexual men were ls likely to experience this type of gay muny strs.
WHAT IT’S LIKE WHEN YOU’RE GAY AND DEALG WH REJECTN
* gay rejection *
Obvly, the greatt sourc of HIV risk are stctural disadvantag, particular the stctural forms of homophobia and racism that affect gay and bisexual men of lor, disproportnately. To my knowledge, no prev studi had really homed on the strs that gay and bisexual men might experience wh each other as predictors of HIV found a rrelatn where gay and bisexual men who are particularly strsed by the gay muny’s foc on sex, stat, and petn or who were likely to perceive the gay muny as exclnary of diversy were more likely to engage sex whout ndoms or PrEP their daily liv. It beme clear my clil work that gay and bisexual men ce strsors om wh the gay muny.
At the same time, I knew that any rearch that shows stigma or heterosexism is not the sole e of gay and bisexual men's poor mental health uld potentially be ed to somehow return to this old historic argument that somehow gay and bisexual men were herently I was fortable proceedg wh the studi bee I knew they uld potentially be a ll for actn wh the gay muny, to crease s embrace of what have historilly been s most remarkable attribut—s abily to support each other the fac of ernment neglect, to thk creatively about how to form iendships and partnerships, and ultimately how to urageoly look wh and form a muny that LGBTQ+ people n be proud there solutns to the muny dynamics suggted by your rearch?
Parents want their children to be happy, healthy, and safe. If your child out to you as LGBTQ (lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, or queer), that may or may not be somethg you imaged or feel prepared for—but your acceptance really matters to their health and safety. * gay rejection *
One of the least equently endorsed ems on our surveys was that gay men aren’t good iends to each other, which really suggts that relyg on and strengtheng iendships the face of some of the more strsful aspects of the gay muny would be a sure route to protect agast that type of the extent that gay muny spac move onle to platforms like Grdr, the norms for munitn and for muny get grad and brought down to the lowt mon nomator. So I thk another terventn would be eher to prerve brick-and-mortar spac, where people n ntue to ngregate diverse, open ways; or enhance onle platforms to facilate more sense of muny over expedient thg that’s often been untilized the gay muny is tergeneratnal mentorship. There’s historilly been a lot of barriers to that, but to the extent that the gay muny n lead the way breakg down those barriers, I thk that would be a tremendo terventn agast this type of gay-muny strs across the full spectm.
Homophobia, stigma (negative and ually unfair beliefs), and discrimatn (unfairly treatg a person or group of people) agast gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex wh men still exist the Uned Stat and n negatively affect the health and well-beg of this muny. The negative beliefs and actns n affect the physil and mental health of gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex wh men, whether they seek and are able to get health servic, and the qualy of the servic they may receive.
Such barriers to health mt be addrsed at different levels of society, such as health re settgs, work plac, and schools to improve the health of gay and bisexual men throughout their liv.