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1.875rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg:0 1.875rem;}}</style><div class="css-mktybr exadjwu4"><style data-emotn="css 6bdp5f">{font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-weight:bold;grid-lumn:1/-1;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.625rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:3.125rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{font-size:3.125rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><h1 class="css-6bdp5f exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>I'm a Gay Dad. My Son Lov Sports. Here's How That Unexpectedly Changed My Life<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css 1cgvs9y">{font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.0625rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.25rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.5rem;le-height:1.2;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#B20B16;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-1cgvs9y exadjwu8"><p>In tradg Broadway for baseball, Bradley Jabs Sigmund reflects on the wele by-product of his son's athleticism: straight male iendships. </p></div><style data-emotn="css 1yvxpqj">{marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;} span{le-height:1.6;}</style><div class="css-1yvxpqj exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css ku2dj9">{font-style:normal;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><addrs class="css-ku2dj9 ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css 6ywij2">{paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><span class="css-6ywij2 ehvvd9m1">By Bradley Jabs Sigmund</span><style data-emotn="css w0ebia">{display:le-block;text-transform:upperse;marg-left:0.625rem;}</style><time class="css-w0ebia exadjwu6">Published: Jun 14, 2019</time></addrs></div></div></div></hear><style data-emotn="css k008qs">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;}</style><div class="css-k008qs ewisyje0"><style data-emotn="css 7ce51e">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{max-width:lc(100vw - (1rem * 2));marg-left:1rem;marg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(-1 * 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc((100vw - (lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 2 * 1rem)) / -2);}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem) and (max-width: 90rem){{max-width:lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem);marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);paddg-left:1rem;paddg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / -2) - 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 2);max-width:lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem);paddg-left:1rem;paddg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 + 1rem)) / -2) - lc(2 * 1rem));}[data-has-sponsor] {marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 4);marg-right:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 4);}}</style><div class="standard-ntaer ntent-ntaer article-ntaer css-7ce51e ewisyje3"><style data-emotn="css trzem2">{jtify-self:center;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg-left:-50vw;marg-right:-50vw;width:100vw;left:50%;right:50%;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead css-trzem2 ewisyje6"><style data-emotn="css sm2oir">{height:to;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg:to lc(50% - 50vw);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:to;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead-image css-sm2oir e5f9kgu2"><style data-emotn="css eag3eq">{posn:relative;height:to;}</style><div class="css-eag3eq e5f9kgu1"><style data-emotn="css 335qep">{posn:relative;width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;vertil-align:top;}</style><img fetchPrry="high" alt="Clip art, Le, Graphics, Colorfulns, " tle="Clip art, Le, Graphics, Colorfulns, " width="1920" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-335qep exi4f7p0" /></div><style data-emotn="css 285vyd">{le-height:1;}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0;}}</style><figptn class="css-285vyd enfs9c50"><style data-emotn="css pejqtf">{lor:#595959;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><span class="css-pejqtf e6iqd2">D'Ara Nazaryan</span></figptn></div></div><style data-emotn="css z6i669">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-z6i669 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css 18vfmjb">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">One night late May, seven dads stood a bar sgg “Happy Birthday” to me. Each of them were straight. How did this happen?

 </p><p data-no-id="1" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">When my partner, Jack, and I cid to bee fathers ne years ago, everyone told to "expect the unexpected.” I rolled my ey. I’d heard all about diapers and sippy cups, playdat and sleepls nights. And sure, I expected some athletics along the way. Then our son Lus, now 7, turned out to be — as Jack lls him — “<em>all</em> boy.” As a sports-averse gay man terted books, Broadway, and the big screen, ’s been challengg to accept that my weekends now overflow wh basketballs, baseball diamonds — and bros. Among the eye-openg out of havg a super-sporty son: iendships wh an unrreprented mographic my life . . . straight guys.

</p><p data-no-id="2" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">As a child, I ran om sports. I uldn’t throw a ball, was lost on a basketball urt, and although math was one of my bt subjects, I remaed nfound by football (“1st and ten”?). While I gaed my social footg as a teenager, wrg for the school newspaper and dancg on stage <em>Bye Bye Birdie</em> high school, I was chubby, a ltle fey; my md, at least, I had nothg mon wh the school’s athletic goln boys. Even though I eventually embraced my creative and artistic terts — and me out at age 19 — sports remaed a sore spot I largely steered clear of as an adult. Until now. 

</p><p data-no-id="3" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Wh Lus regularly playg soccer, basketball, and baseball, sports now make up a large part of my weekly route. And as ’s turned out, a host of heterosexual dad ras have been wh me every goal, basket, and home n of the way. </p><style data-emotn="css f1dz33">{--data-embed-display:flex;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;clear:both;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:50%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:50%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{width:50%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{width:50%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{width:50%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{width:50%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}} a span{right:1rem;} img{width:to;height:85vh;} a{display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;posn:var(--posn, relative);} img:not(.ewcw41w1){display:block;width:100%;height:to;-webk-align-self:flex-start;-ms-flex-em-align:flex-start;align-self:flex-start;}</style><div size="small" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="4" class="align-center size-small embed css-f1dz33 e1xqj1sx4"><style data-emotn="css uwraif">{width:100%;display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;}</style><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="Footwear, Standg, Wall, Knee, Jot, Leg, Sports equipment, Shoe, Vehicle, Human leg, " tle="Footwear, Standg, Wall, Knee, Jot, Leg, Sports equipment, Shoe, Vehicle, Human leg, " loadg="lazy" width="750" height="1334" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><style data-emotn="css swqnqv">@media(m-width: 20rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}</style><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><style data-emotn="css 37rghg">{font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.2;m-width:100%;paddg-top:0.625rem;width:0;}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1rem;le-height:1.2;}} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><div class="css-37rghg e1xqj1sx1">Lus the soccer star</div><style data-emotn="css 1am3yn9">{paddg-left:0rem;le-height:1;}</style><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-pejqtf e6iqd2">Courty of Bradley Jabs Sigmund</span></figptn></div></div></div><p data-no-id="5" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">

Take soccer. Lus wants to be a league this fall, so over the past two months, I’ve rted him to dns — er, tryouts — wh five different clubs around New York Cy. One dad, David, whose son is another soccer aficnado, poted me toward the necsy of “turf sho” (who’d ever heard of such a thg?) and strategized wh about whether Lus should posn himself as a forward, a midfielr, or a fenr (is this me typg?). He even jumped on the phone wh me mut after Lus was dged by his first league. (The athletic director said he “isn’t the right f.” For Pete’s sake, he’s 7.) “Thg is, you gotta know that other boys have been trag for years,” David said, all tough love. “He’ll make on his own time. Until then, get ready, may be heart-wrenchg.” </p><p data-no-id="6" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">
Two other dads got me through the highs and lows of this sprg’s Ltle League gam, held both days of the weekend. Sgle, forty-somethg Daniel lov to chat between ngs about his parentg wo, and about datg women wh, well, daddy issu. (He’s promised to take me to the Lower East Si pick-up club The Blond so I n see how the other half mate.) And Joe has ma baseball bearable. He and I joke about the Jewish holidays and overshare about our middle-age cris. We created a group text lled the “Anx Jewish Support Group.” </p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="7" data-embed="pullquote" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><style data-emotn="css 1eiql25">{text-align:center;marg:0rem;paddg-top:0.9375rem;paddg-bottom:0.9375rem;}</style><blockquote class="css-1eiql25 e1pe3zr91"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 1h5xk02">{font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:1.625rem;font-weight:bold;le-height:1.2;marg:0rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.75rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.2;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><blockquote class="css-1h5xk02 e1pe3zr90">A host of heterosexual dad ras have been wh me every goal, basket, and home n of the way.</blockquote><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></blockquote></div><p data-no-id="8" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">
Still other fathers have provid a new (to me) mararie. Over sprg break, Jack, Lus, and I took a beach vatn wh five other fai we met the year our son was Krgarten, cludg a pack of dads. The last time I was bare-chted and stg around a pool wh this many men, my back was waxed and I was downg Planter’s Punch and makg qutnable cisns the Fire Island P. Now there were wiv, children, beer. But other elements were the same: a hot tub, loungg on the beach, long nversatns while the sun set. </p><p data-no-id="9" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Over a week of hangg out, I felt fortable, listened to, and spired by the bright, fearls fathers. By the time two darevil dads, Rashid and Josh, jumped 30 feet off a giant rock to the Caribbean waters while we all swam below, I’d veloped a sense of closens wh the guys that was very new to me. And didn’t matter that I chose not to jump. I didn’t feel judged. The dads accepted me as is.</p><style data-emotn="css 1736von">{--data-embed-display:flex;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;clear:both;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}} a span{right:1rem;} img{width:to;height:85vh;} a{display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;posn:var(--posn, relative);} img:not(.ewcw41w1){display:block;width:100%;height:to;-webk-align-self:flex-start;-ms-flex-em-align:flex-start;align-self:flex-start;}</style><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="10" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="People, Team, Selfie, Communy, Photography, Cool, Se, Vatn, Event, Recreatn, " tle="People, Team, Selfie, Communy, Photography, Cool, Se, Vatn, Event, Recreatn, " loadg="lazy" width="1280" height="960" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><div class="css-37rghg e1xqj1sx1">Jack, Lus, and Bradley </div><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-pejqtf e6iqd2">Care of Bradley Jabs Sigmund</span></figptn></div></div></div><p data-no-id="11" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">That’s the funny thg that happened on the way to the soccer field: I felt embraced by the men bee, adulthood, I was secure enough to be myself around them. I owned my athletic ambivalence. I admted I felt out of place. The time I missed one of Lus’s three-poters basketball, I pped to the fact that I'd been scrollg Madonna’s Instagram. And you know what? The guys got . They lghed wh me, and appreciated my ndor. They shared as well: A uple of tim, dads have admted they’re challenged bee their sons aren’t particularly athletic. If I ever worried I’d be alienated the world of sile-dads, those feelgs have long lapsed. </p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="12" data-embed="pullquote" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><blockquote class="css-1eiql25 e1pe3zr91"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><blockquote class="css-1h5xk02 e1pe3zr90"> If I ever worried I’d be alienated the world of sile-dads, those feelgs have long lapsed.</blockquote><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></blockquote></div><p data-no-id="13" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">
Which brgs me back to my birthday serena. Jack and I go for bimonthly “dad drks” wh the sprg break crew and other school fathers. The most recent of the gathergs — held at the trendy No Bar New York's East Village — cid wh my birthday, so Jack surprised wh a ke. The last time I n rell seven guys standg around a bar sgg me “Happy Birthday,” I was turng 26 at a long-shuttered Wt Village late night gay spot known as Hell. Yet as I chatted wh my dad brethren this particular night, I saw once and for all that — now that we’re fathers — the guys aren’t all that different om me. Brian knew every nuance of the fal arc of <em><style data-emotn="css 5z6rvi">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#B20B16;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Game of Thron" class="body-lk css-5z6rvi et3p2gv0">Game of Thron</a></em>. Raj and Atul hashed out schools, mps, and the bt summer cktails. Miguel and I chatted about reers and his powerhoe lbian sister. 

</p><p data-no-id="14" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Doug uldn’t make that night: he was wh two of his dghters at a Pk ncert. Secretly, I seethed wh jealoy over this outg. Maybe we’ll do a group “Fathers' night wh Pk” the next time she tours? 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