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data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd dBIeWW kctZMs">The 21 Funnit Jok From the Roast of Jt Bieber</h1><span class="ContentHearContentDivir-liIxwf jCxpJX"></span></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ ddIDdC">The Comedy Central Roast of Jt Bieber set out to give him the "ass-whoop' he serv", acrdg to host Kev Hart, and, oh, what a hysteril, tears-ducg whoop' was. The dais clud Ludacris, Snoop Dogg, Shaquille O'Neal, Martha Stewart, Hannibal Burrs, Chris D'Elia, Natasha Leggero, Pete Davidson, and Jeff Ross—and each me out firg wh numero zgers about d**ks, Selena Gomez, Kev Hart's pete-ns, and, oddly enough, even ISIS. Here are 21 of the funnit (while keepg as appropriate as possible). 1. "Jt Bieber has tens of lns of fans. Most of them are eher middle school or standg 500 feet away om one." —Kev Hart 2. "Usually when I see this many brothers stg together, Mry Povich about to open an envelope." —Kev Hart 3. "Wow, Ludacris and Snoop Dogg are here. If I was 38, I'd be eakg out right now." —Pete Davidson 4. "Shaq's fgers are so big that every text he's ever sent is jt every letter of the alphabet at the same damn time." —Ludacris 5. "Kev [Hart] was at my weddg bee I need a miature black man on my ke, so thank you for that." —Ludacris 6. "Kev, you are</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH fnINOd byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dvgOmM gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd jAcLDI rPnfn eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/lynsey-eill">Lynsey Eill</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2015-03-31T06:00:00-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd cfFrRE bNphLH">March 31, 2015</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg fgMkJI social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG hdASCv"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dxlOSM body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>The Comedy Central Roast of <a href=">Jt Bieber</a> set out to give him the "ass-whoop' he serv", acrdg to host Kev Hart, and, oh, what a hysteril, tears-ducg whoop' was. The dais clud Ludacris, Snoop Dogg, Shaquille O'Neal, Martha Stewart, Hannibal Burrs, Chris D'Elia, Natasha Leggero, Pete Davidson, and Jeff Ross—and each me out firg wh numero zgers about d**ks, Selena Gomez, Kev Hart's pete-ns, and, oddly enough, even ISIS. Here are 21 of the funnit (while keepg as appropriate as possible).</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="Image may nta Jt Bieber Tie Accsori Accsory Human Crowd Audience Person Coat Clothg and Overat" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></span></div></figure><ol><li><p>"Jt Bieber has tens of lns of fans. Most of them are eher middle school or standg 500 feet away om one." —Kev Hart</p></li><li><p>"Usually when I see this many brothers stg together, Mry Povich about to open an envelope." —Kev Hart</p></li><li><p>"Wow, Ludacris and Snoop Dogg are here. If I was 38, I'd be eakg out right now." —Pete Davidson</p></li><li><p>"Shaq's fgers are so big that every text he's ever sent is jt every letter of the alphabet at the same damn time." —Ludacris</p></li><li><p>"Kev [Hart] was at my weddg bee I need a miature black man on my ke, so thank you for that." —Ludacris</p></li><li><p>"Kev, you are everywhere. He's actually gog to be on the next season of <em>Game of Thron</em>. He's playg Peter Dklage's shadow." —Natasha Leggero</p></li><li><p>"Snoop, you look like Shaq's skeleton." —Natasha Leggero</p></li><li><p>"Jt's fans are lled Beliebers bee the days 's polilly rrect to e the term retards." —Natasha Leggero</p></li><li><p>"Jt, Selena Gomez had to f**k you. She's lerally the least lucky Selena all of entertament history." —Natasha Leggero</p></li><li><p>"Jt has a tattoo of J on his lf. Why you gotta brg J to your ms? The man has suffered enough." —Shaq</p></li><li><p>"People don't realize this, but those 'I Can't Breathe' T-shirts? They were about Shaq's last season on the Celtics." —Chris D'Elia</p></li><li><p>"Jt, you have all—except for rpect, love, iends, good parents, and a Grammy." —Chris D'Elia</p></li><li><p>"Listeng to you yell your jok for the past hour is the harst time I've ever done." —Martha Stewart</p></li><li><p>"Snoop, you look like a retired WNBA player." —Jeff Ross</p></li><li><p>"Face , Biebs, you've bee a cky ltle sh. You are the Kg Jofey of pop." —Jeff Ross</p></li><li><p>"It's amazg to have Shaq and Kev [Hart] here—is this a roast or is this Tyler Perry's <em>Of Mice and Men</em>?" —Hannibal Burrs</p></li><li><p>"I hate your mic more than Bill Cosby hat my edy." —Hannibal Burrs</p></li><li><p>"Jt Bieber is a man...a man who sgs songs for ne-year-olds and cuts his hair like a gay figure skater." —Ron Burgundy</p></li><li><p>"Luda...I feel like I've known you my whole life, but that's jt bee you look like the Mr. Potato Head I had as a kid." —Jt Bieber</p></li><li><p>"Luda and I spent a lot of hours makg 'Baby' together. In fact, he told me was the only baby he'd ever ma on purpose." —Jt Bieber.</p></li><li><p>"I'm new to edy, but here's a joke: What do you get when you give a teenager $200 ln? A bunch of has-beens llg you a lbian for two hours." —Jt Bieber</p></li></ol><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="xz9tf"></div></div><p><strong>What joke om the roast had you crackg up the harst?</strong></p><div id="stylics-marker"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="uik97g"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg 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data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">What to Watch This Week: <em>Outlanr</em>’s Mid-Season Fale; <em>Red, Whe and Royal Blue</em>’s Debut; and <em>Only Murrs</em> Season 3</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY fbXPcA summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ksagZo byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dvgOmM gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Jsi Radloff</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff dmuZhl summary-em summary-em--has-le summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--has-small-image-mobile-only summary-em--no-in 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media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Watch Selena Gomez Workg on ‘Lose You to Love Me’ This Raw Makg-Of Clip" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX TzlWM bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Entertament</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cygyrM summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk--unrle-disable" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ dPLFJF summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Watch Selena Gomez Workg on ‘Lose You to Love Me’ This Raw Makg-Of Clip</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY fbXPcA summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ksagZo byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dvgOmM gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Kathleen Walsh</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff dmuZhl summary-em summary-em--has-le summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--has-small-image-mobile-only summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si-mobile-only 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siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="All of Colleen Hoover’s Books, Ranked" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX TzlWM bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Culture</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cygyrM summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk--unrle-disable" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ dPLFJF summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">All of Colleen Hoover’s Books, Ranked</div></div></div></a><div 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