Gay Grief Is Different

Contents:

• THE SECRET GAY HISTORY OF AN AMERIN FRATERNY
• GAY AND GREEK: THE EXPERIENCE OF BEG GAY AND A ATERNY
• YOU’RE NOT BREAKG BARRIERS BY BEG GAY A ATERNY
• MY ATERNY YEARS AS AN OUT GAY MAN

THE SECRET GAY HISTORY OF AN AMERIN FRATERNY

No, this is a story about thgs I saw and heard and experienced, but don’t end wh me steppg bravely forward and proudly clarg my homosexualy to the world and fdg my place . Some of the iends did turn out to be gay, though I had no ia at the time, as they, I thk, had srcely any ia about me. Afterward, my broad-shoulred stoner iend sually told Jason that “What we did was okay, bee I heard you have to do three tim wh a guy to make you gay.

In the aterny which I belonged, a small subset of iends began referrg to the annual fall visatn of alumni as “Homog Weekend.

GAY AND GREEK: THE EXPERIENCE OF BEG GAY AND A ATERNY

By the time I graduated 1987, I had been through a few Homog Weekends and taken the long walk wh several of my olr aterny brothers, who would awkwardly nfs to beg gay. But he left no doubt that he was totally gay, and ma me unfortable when he looked to my ey wh that perceptive visn of his. “But the guy’s a homosexual, and there are guys who say they’re gog blackball him to prevent him om gettg a bid, ” I was told.

And after all, if I took a strong posn on the matter, someone might assume I was gay, and I was not gog to let that happen! Much later Marc would fd out I was gay too, spe my self-protective measur, and he would be very supportive, god bls him. If we we’re gog to blackball a gay guy jt bee he’s gay, then we’re not really about diversy at all, are we?

Stori of the “gay murr” Lock Haven, Pennsylvania appeared everywhere, and were read by lns the big cy newspapers Philalphia and Ptsburgh.

YOU’RE NOT BREAKG BARRIERS BY BEG GAY A ATERNY

Well, I don’t want to overstate , but ’s clear that Mike – like most gay people – had been eply and adversely effected by the closet s and homophob that surround him. The same year I belatedly disvered that soon after Mike Hoeknecht was found ad on mp, a gay and lbian support group was formed at LHU. It stands to reason, however, that such a high-profile tragedy would galvanize the gay muny and lead to the formatn of such a group.

MY ATERNY YEARS AS AN OUT GAY MAN

In 1992, when I found out about LHU’s gay and lbian group, I told myself that if such a group were loted near my home New Jersey, I would jo right away. The guys that elected their first openly gay print would have had no ia about the experienc of Mike Hoeknecht four or five years before that. And the guys the aterny today would probably be surprised to hear that they were once prid over by one of only two openly gay men on mp at that time.

Many straight, gay and bisexual men have said that the shared showers, latr and changg areas; the pent-up horns and need for sexual exprsn all make the ary a place that awakens same-sex sire. Th, homoerotic iatn ruals allow servicemembers to flict the ab they’ve endured and also tt new members’ willgns to subm to tradn and group-thk whout succumbg to emotn or “stctive” homosexual sir.

Jane Ward, thor of Not Gay: Sex between Straight Whe Men, says that the thkg surroundg the ruals is, “If you endure together this kd of mortifyg, huiatg and embarrassg homosexual act, then that not only toughens up your body, but will also build and strengthen that bond around you.