Where We Stand: Gay and Lbian Parents

Contents:

• WHERE WE STAND: GAY AND LBIAN PARENTS
• PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE
• “MOM, DAD… I’M GAY.” A CHRISTIAN PARENT’S RPONSE
• 'RETURN THE KEY': THE PARENTS WHO REJECT THEIR GAY CHILDREN
• 10 TIPS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS
• PARENTG A GAY CHILD
• LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG

WHERE WE STAND: GAY AND LBIAN PARENTS

Parents of gay children may be shocked when their kids e out of the closet, but once the dt settl, most parents realize that their child is the same one they have loved and red for all their liv, they jt happen to be gay.

Rather I’d want him to see himself as creature ma God’s image, a man wh many parts to his inty, a person wh many gifts, a son wh a diverse character and personaly, one part of which, at least for the moment, is to have a homosexual sir. Celebry stori of heartbreakg parental rejectn are also November, the Amerin thor and producer Robyn Crawford released a book nfirmg she had had a romantic relatnship wh Whney Hoton – but had to abandon out of fear of the repercsns om Hoton’s by Oprah Wey if would have bothered her if her dghter was gay, Cissy Hoton said “Absolutely.

"Maybe you always had an klg that your kid was gay or transgenr, maybe you noticed your kid's affectn for a certa someone before they even regnized what those feelgs were, or you noticed certa role mols that they chose and ma some assumptns about what that meant about their inty...

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

The prev edn, which was tled Lbian and Gay Parentg: A Rource for Psychologists (1995) was the succsor to a publitn tled Lbian Parents and Their Children: A Rource Paper for Psychologists that was jotly produced by CLGBC and CWP 1991.

“MOM, DAD… I’M GAY.” A CHRISTIAN PARENT’S RPONSE

The mte broaned the foc of the publitn to clu the empiril rearch on gay fathers, as well as lbian mothers, and the clil lerature relevant to psychologil servic for lbian and gay parents, their children, and their fai. Unlike heterosexual parents and their children, however, lbian and gay parents and their children are often subject to prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn that n turn judg, legislators, profsnals, and the public agast them, sometim rultg negative out, such as loss of physil ctody, rtrictns on visatn, and prohibns agast adoptn (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Appell, 2003; Patterson, Fulcher, & Waright, 2002).

As wh beliefs about other socially stigmatized groups, the beliefs held generally society about lbians and gay men are often not based personal experience, but are equently culturally transmted (Herek, 1995; Gillis, 1998).

'RETURN THE KEY': THE PARENTS WHO REJECT THEIR GAY CHILDREN

Systematic rearch on the children of lbian and gay parents began to appear major profsnal journals the late 1970s and has grown to a nsirable body of rearch only recent years (Allen & Demo, 1995; Patterson, 1992, 2000). As this summary will show, the rults of existg rearch parg lbian and gay parents to heterosexual parents and children of lbian and gay parents to children of heterosexual parents are que clear: Common stereotyp are not supported by the data. The relevance of this cricism has been greatly rced as rearch has expand to explore life a wir array of lbian mother and gay father fai (many of which have never lived through the divorce of a heterosexual uple), and as newer studi beg to clu a wir array of ntrol groups.

Other cricisms have been that most studi have been based on relatively small sampl, that there have been difficulti wh asssment procr employed some studi, and that the classifitn of parents as lbian, gay, or heterosexual has been problematic. An expert readg of the Sarantakos article reveals that certa characteristics of s methodology and sample are highly likely to have skewed the rults and renred them an valid ditor of the well-beg of children raised by gay and lbian parents at least three rpects:.

10 TIPS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS

The children raised by gay and lbian parents experienced unually high levels of extreme social ostracism and overt hostily om other children and parents, which probably acunted for the former's lower levels of teractn and social tegratn wh peers (see pp. Most or all of the children beg raised by gay and lbian parents, but not the children beg raised by heterosexual married parents, had experienced parental divorce, which is known to rrelate wh poor adjtment and amic performance. Some nonscientific anizatns have attempted to nvce urts that there is an actual scientific dispute this area by cg rearch performed by Pl Cameron as supportg the existence of fics gay and lbian parents or their children pared to heterosexual parents or their children.

PARENTG A GAY CHILD

Three ncerns have historilly been associated wh judicial cisn makg ctody ligatn and public polici erng foster re and adoptn: the belief that lbians and gay men are mentally ill, that lbians are ls maternal than heterosexual women, and that lbians' and gay men's relatnships wh sexual partners leave ltle time for ongog parent-child teractns (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Falk, 1989, 1994; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996).

LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG

Many years ago, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn removed "homosexualy" om s list of mental disorrs, statg that "homosexualy per se impli no impairment judgment, stabily, reliabily, or general social or votnal pabili" (Amerin Psychiatric Associatn, 1974). In 1975, the Amerin Psychologil Associatn took the same posn and urged all mental health profsnals to help dispel the stigma of mental illns that had long been associated wh homosexual orientatn (Amerin Psychologil Associatn, 1975).

The cisn to remove homosexual orientatn om the list of mental disorrs reflects extensive rearch nducted over three s showg that homosexual orientatn is not a psychologil maladjtment (Gonsrek, 1991; Hart, Roback, Ttler, Wez, Walston, & McKee, 1978; Reiss, 1980).