Monogamy or Bt: Why Are Many Gay Men Opposed to Open Relatnships?

open gay relationships

How do queer men navigate an stutn not signed for them? Therapist Michael Dale Kimmel offers clu his new book, The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage. Check out an exclive excerpt below.

Contents:

MANY SUCCSFUL GAY MARRIAG SHARE AN OPEN SECRET

A study to be released next month is offerg a rare glimpse si gay relatnships and reveals that monogamy is not a central feature for many. * open gay relationships *

But they knew om the begng that their bond would be fed on their own terms, cludg what they ll “play” wh other the trial phase of the nstutnal battle to overturn the Proposn 8 ban on same-sex marriage nclus feral urt, gay nuptials are portrayed by opponents as an effort to rewre the tradnal l of matrimony. Quietly, outsi of the news media and urtroom spotlight, many gay upl are dog jt that, acrdg to groundbreakg new rearch.

A study to be released next month is offerg a rare glimpse si gay relatnships and reveals that monogamy is not a central feature for many. Some gay men and lbians argue that, as a rult, they have stronger, longer-lastg and more hont relatnships. And while that may sound untertuive, some experts say boundary-challengg gay relatnships reprent an evolutn marriage — one that might pot the way for the survival of the rearch at San Francis State Universy reveals jt how mon open relatnships are among gay men and lbians the Bay Area.

The Gay Coupl Study has followed 556 male upl for three years — about 50 percent of those surveyed have sex outsi their relatnships, wh the knowledge and approval of their nsent is key. “Wh straight people, ’s lled affairs or cheatg, ” said Colleen Hoff, the study’s prcipal vtigator, “but wh gay people do not have such negative nnotatns.

HOW TO HAVE AN OPEN GAY RELATNSHIP

It is possible to have a succsful open gay relatnship. However, tak time, energy and hard work. Learn more. * open gay relationships *

”The study also found open gay upl jt as happy their relatnships as pairs sexually exclive unns, Dr. A different study, published 1985, nclud that open gay relatnships actually lasted of this is news the gay muny, but few will speak publicly about .

GAY MEN OPEN RELATNSHIPS: WHAT WORKS?

* open gay relationships *

“The tradnal Amerin marriage is crisis, and we need sight, ” he said, cg the h perspective gay upl brg to matrimony.

A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE

As assiatn to more mastream culture creas, many gay men are shiftg their attus on non-tradnal relatnships—beg ls acceptg of them. * open gay relationships *

“If novatn marriage is gog to occur, will be spearhead by homosexual marriag. ”Open relatnships are not exclively a gay doma, of urse. A versn of this article appears prt on, Sectn A, Page NaN of the Natnal edn wh the headle: Many Succsful Gay Marriag Share an Open Secret.

Is possible to have a succsful open gay relatnship? Now that gay marriage is the law of the land, is more mon to hear about upl beg part of an open marriage. Dependg on the study you read, and to date there aren’t many scientific studi on the topic, as many as 50% of gay men are open relatnships.

As gay men, we’re no strangers to beg judged.

As a upl unselor workg wh gay men, I am often asked my opn on monogamy and open gay relatnships. * open gay relationships *

Most of know the feelg of walkg to a gay space and beg evaluated. Instead of beg supportive of those our muny who choose to have different relatnship stctur, some of are beg judgmental, mean and even slut-shamg our fellow gay iends.

However, this ncept is creepg s way to the gay muny.

There was a time, pre-HIV and AIDS when many members of the gay muny were more sexually ee.

A nversatn about open and monogamo marriage, for gay men and for all. * open gay relationships *

After years of beg opprsed and persecuted for havg sex and beg gay, the 1970s and 80s brought about a eedom of sexual exprsn that was polilly and psychologilly important. After the AIDS crisis h, sex beme a dangero thg for gay men. An entirely new generatn of gay men n take a daily pill and have ls fear around sex.

Along those l, there is a spectm om monogamy to ethil non-monogamy open for gay upl to explore. Get the ee eBook How to Strengthen Your Relatnship, a gui for gay upl. Whether married or not, many gay relatnships beg to "open up" after the first few years.

In the book, we'll follow two upl as they explore how to handle the sire for sex outsi their gay upl do want monogamy. Many of my upled gay clients, havg examed tradnal heterosexual marriage-based relatnships, fd them lackg. While this is a ntroversial issue, 's also an opportuny for as married or potentially-married gay men to be social pneers and make our own way.

Lookg for support wh gay open relatnships or monogamy? Our LGBTQ therapists are nonjudgmental about whatever relatnship stcture you choose. * open gay relationships *

And I'm not jt talkg about sex my years of workg wh upl, I've noticed that gay upl typilly experience two challeng more tensely than do oppose-sex or lbian upl: petn and nflict.

In this two-mute vio, Gay Therapy Center Founr and Director Adam Blum reveals some of the data on open relatnships the LGTBQ muny. * open gay relationships *

But, too much petn leads to nflict, and nflict a double ttosterone marriage n easily lead to arguments that late out of ntrol both verbally and the other end of the ttosterone spectm, I've noticed that creasg ttosterone levels are often related to lower levels of sexual satisfactn (and more open relatnships) gay upl their forti and fifti. If sex has been a major rnerstone of our marriag/relatnships and we h an age where our sexual sir and libido take a dive, we may hope that openg up our relatnship will be jt the panacea we're lookg be blunt -- ttosterone n make too horny when we're younger (creatg trouble marriag), and too disterted sex when we're marriage has been a long time g -- a few thoand years or so -- and now that 's fally here, many gay, bisexual and transgenr men may thk that 's a bad ia to "rock the boat" by discsg the kds of ias that this book prents. I believe that now is the perfect time to qutn what gay marriage n, should and will be, while is still relatively new, h and the double ttosterone marriage, "monogamy or open relatnship?

Excerpted om Michael Dale Kimmel's The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage, released this month by Rowman & Ltlefield. Which Ik is a mon thg for gay men and I rpect his cisn.

So after talkg and him sayg he’d be fe wh ( which I uld tell he was jt tryg to be brave for me and wasn’t totally fe wh ) I download a gay hook up app and started chattg to guys. People satisfyg monogamo relatnships don't have reason to be I speak to gay men who are satisfyg monogamo relatnships, they're never angered.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* OPEN GAY RELATIONSHIPS

Menu</tle><path d="M8 10h16v2H8v-2zm0 5h16v2H8v-2zm0 5h16v2H8v-2z" fill-le="evenodd"></path></svg></div></button><div class="AlertWrapper-gvFATk bkZbLJ StandardNavigatnDrawerBookmarkAlert-irmtYV pYBCk" data-ttid="BookmarkAlertMobile" role="tooltip"><div aria-hidn="te" role="prentatn" class="AlertArrow-daOgye kVBnAp alert-arrow"></div><div aria-hidn="te" role="prentatn" class="AlertInWrapper-iHNVmf iGkvlr"><svg class="in in-bookmark in-bookmark--activated" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Story Saved</tle><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-outle" d="M20 24L12.5 19.7804L5 24V3H20V24ZM12.5 18.6028L19 22.2336V3.98131H6V22.2336L12.5 18.6028Z" fill="black"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-checkmark" d="M11.5541 13.7033L9 11.2033L9.66216 10.5552L11.5541 12.407L15.3378 8.70331L16 9.35146L11.5541 13.7033Z" fill="black"></path></svg></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm iPUqcY htBxkR alert-msage"><p>To revis this article, vis My Profile, then<!-- --> <a href="/acunt/saved">View saved stori</a>.</p></div><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ hvzL bJNRGO button button--utily close-alert-button" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" role="button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Close Alert</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="ButtonIn-YqaGo iwlhuX button-in in in-close" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns="><path d="M16 14.586l6.364-6.364 1.414 1.414L17.414 16l6.364 6.364-1.414 1.414L16 17.414l-6.364 6.364-1.414-1.414L14.586 16 8.222 9.636l1.414-1.414z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></div></button></div></div><div class="StandardNavigatnSectnLogo-bghSeq cggfMB"><a href="/" data-ttid="Logo" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM StandardNavigatnLogoLk-bfpyLL iUEiRd fPqUbj djiYSv jYKccq"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset StandardNavigatnLogoImage-kyNDxs jVwXYs"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa StandardNavigatnLogoImage-kyNDxs jVwXYs rponsive-image"><img alt="SELF" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="/verso/static/self/assets/" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/></picture></span></a></div><div data-ttid="StandardNavigatnHeadLeBlock" class="StandardNavigatnHeadLeBlock-kwGkqn dqfBFX"><div aria-hidn="te" class="StandardNavigatnHeadLeBlockHeadLe-dfABRF hHUYOZ">8 Qutns People Ask Me When They Fd Out I’m an Open Relatnship</div><div class="StandardNavigatnHeadLeBlockChannelNavigatn-ccHZSK fkgYDz"><div class="StandardNavigatnSectnPrimaryLks-eSbMKK jwVHXo"><nav aria-label="Primary" class="NavigatnWrapper-bFftAs fKSZRK StandardNavigatnNavPrimaryLks-envmpy dktYVh" data-ttid="navigatn"><ul class="NavigatnListWrapper-gWXLVS cwnxSh navigatn__list" data-ttid="navigatn__list"><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><div data-ttid="navigatn__nav-em-in" class="NavigatnItemIn-bpcxDt hLTmGs"><svg xmlns='' width='22' height='22' viewBox='0 0 22 22'><path d='M.683 8.08A.685.685 0 0 0 0 8.764v4.872a.685.685 0 0 0 1.367 0V8.764a.685.685 0 0 0-.684-.684m20.109 0a.685.685 0 0 0-.684.684v4.872a.685.685 0 0 0 1.368 0V8.764a.685.685 0 0 0-.684-.684m-3.633-3.868A.69.69 0 0 0 16.663 4h-2.076a.685.685 0 0 0-.684.684v5.831h-6.33v-5.83a.685.685 0 0 0-1.368 0v12.344h-1.1l-1.686-1.767V7.136l1.888-1.98a.679.679 0 0 0 .187-.472.678.678 0 0 0-.21-.494.703.703 0 0 0-.968.022L2.24 6.39a.683.683 0 0 0-.19.471v8.676a.68.68 0 0 0 .19.471l2.076 2.178a.69.69 0 0 0 .496.212h2.077a.685.685 0 0 0 .684-.684v-5.83h6.33l-.001 5.686c0 .377.307.684.684.684.355 0 .653-.28.67-.59l.014-12.296h1.1l1.687 1.768v8.126l-1.888 1.98a.662.662 0 0 0-.181.425.677.677 0 0 0 1.17.519l2.077-2.178a.674.674 0 0 0 .19-.471V6.86a.678.678 0 0 0-.19-.471L17.16 4.212z' fill-le='evenodd'/></svg></div><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/fns" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Fns</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><div data-ttid="navigatn__nav-em-in" class="NavigatnItemIn-bpcxDt hLTmGs"><svg xmlns='' xmlns:xlk='' width='22' height='22' viewBox='0 0 22 22'><fs><path id='a' d='M6.587 20.9H0V.55h6.587V20.9z'/></fs><g fill='none' fill-le='evenodd'><path fill='#000' d='M17.697 4.632l-2.634-2.926a.72.72 0 0 0-.781-.187.713.713 0 0 0-.456.662v18.56a.71.71 0 0 0 1.42 0V4.028l1.215 1.35v9.68a.71.71 0 0 0 1.419 0V5.107a.709.709 0 0 0-.183-.475'/><g transform='translate(5 .55)'><mask id='b' fill='#fff'><e xlk:href='#a'/></mask><path fill='#000' d='M5.876.55c-.39 0-.71.32-.71.71v5.992c0 1.033-.84 1.873-1.874 1.873A1.875 1.875 0 0 1 1.42 7.252V1.26a.71.71 0 0 0-1.42 0v5.992c0 1.535 1.095 2.872 2.585 3.202v9.736a.71.71 0 1 0 1.419 0v-9.736c1.488-.33 2.584-1.667 2.584-3.202V1.26c0-.39-.32-.71-.711-.71' mask='url(#b)'/></g><path fill='#000' d='M8.287 9.014c.39 0 .71-.319.71-.71V1.81a.71.71 0 0 0-1.42 0v6.495c0 .39.32.71.71.71'/></g></svg></div><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/food" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Food</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><div data-ttid="navigatn__nav-em-in" class="NavigatnItemIn-bpcxDt hLTmGs"><svg xmlns='' width='22' height='22' viewBox='0 0 22 22' fill='none'><path d='M13.5288 10.5895L12.4866 10.4292C14.6898 9.48545 16.6912 8.82535 18.1321 8.53717L18.1322 8.53774L18.1411 8.53478C18.4733 8.42404 18.6924 8.09419 18.6924 7.76363V7.75146L18.6886 7.73991C18.5778 7.40769 18.248 7.18863 17.9174 7.18863H17.9097L17.9021 7.1902C15.539 7.68251 12.503 8.75373 9.45574 10.3083L10.2876 8.08996L10.2877 8.08998L10.2886 8.08734C10.3437 7.92195 10.3437 7.73031 10.2886 7.56491C10.2333 7.39911 10.1194 7.2519 9.94112 7.19248L9.92958 7.18863H9.91741C9.71255 7.18863 9.52532 7.21401 9.37387 7.28285C9.21999 7.3528 9.10423 7.46733 9.04675 7.63843L7.65622 11.3134C7.49055 11.4168 7.32883 11.5162 7.16933 11.6142C6.59481 11.9672 6.04911 12.3026 5.45135 12.7448C5.27766 12.2933 5.18499 11.9122 5.09197 11.3548C4.99419 9.97417 5.38887 8.59334 6.27741 7.40863C7.16218 6.22894 8.44042 5.63726 9.9224 5.53846L9.9224 5.53859L9.92671 5.53805L10.7262 5.43811C10.7263 5.4381 10.7263 5.43809 10.7264 5.43808C12.4248 5.23828 14.8166 5.03928 16.8075 5.23801C18.0074 5.43807 18.8958 5.63666 19.4839 5.93071C20.0658 6.2217 20.2424 6.59944 20.2424 6.86363H20.2414L20.2434 6.87596C20.2907 7.15935 20.2442 7.52127 20.1085 7.94054C19.9732 8.35875 19.751 8.8285 19.4531 9.32504C18.8561 10.3201 17.9605 11.514 16.867 12.5081L16.8669 12.5081L16.8644 12.5106C15.8673 13.5076 14.6716 14.5039 13.5771 15.2004C12.4775 15.9001 11.5938 16.2886 10.9174 16.2886V16.2885L10.9124 16.2888C9.43124 16.3875 8.15032 15.9934 6.96542 15.006L6.9657 15.0057L6.95901 15.0012C6.80052 14.8956 6.6335 14.8369 6.47312 14.8514C6.30948 14.8663 6.16547 14.9563 6.055 15.122C5.94935 15.2805 5.89064 15.4475 5.90522 15.6079C5.91999 15.7704 6.00888 15.9136 6.17241 16.0238C7.38363 17.032 8.89896 17.6386 10.4174 17.6386H10.4186H10.4198H10.4209H10.4221H10.4233H10.4244H10.4256H10.4268H10.428H10.4291H10.4303H10.4315H10.4326H10.4338H10.435H10.4362H10.4373H10.4385H10.4397H10.4408H10.442H10.4432H10.4444H10.4455H10.4467H10.4479H10.449H10.4502H10.4514H10.4526H10.4537H10.4549H10.4561H10.4573H10.4584H10.4596H10.4608H10.4619H10.4631H10.4643H10.4655H10.4666H10.4678H10.469H10.4701H10.4713H10.4725H10.4737H10.4748H10.476H10.4772H10.4783H10.4795H10.4807H10.4819H10.483H10.4842H10.4854H10.4865H10.4877H10.4889H10.4901H10.4912H10.4924H10.4936H10.4948H10.4959H10.4971H10.4983H10.4994H10.5006H10.5018H10.503H10.5041H10.5053H10.5065H10.5076H10.5088H10.51H10.5112H10.5123H10.5135H10.5147H10.5158H10.517H10.5182H10.5194H10.5205H10.5217H10.5229H10.524H10.5252H10.5264H10.5276H10.5287H10.5299H10.5311H10.5323H10.5334H10.5346H10.5358H10.5369H10.5381H10.5393H10.5405H10.5416H10.5428H10.544H10.5451H10.5463H10.5475H10.5487H10.5498H10.551H10.5522H10.5533H10.5545H10.5557H10.5569H10.558H10.5592H10.5604H10.5615H10.5627H10.5639H10.5651H10.5662H10.5674H10.5686H10.5698H10.5709H10.5721H10.5733H10.5744H10.5756H10.5768H10.578H10.5791H10.5803H10.5815H10.5826H10.5838H10.585H10.5862H10.5873H10.5885H10.5897H10.5908H10.592H10.5932H10.5944H10.5955H10.5967H10.5979H10.599H10.6002H10.6014H10.6026H10.6037H10.6049H10.6061H10.6073H10.6084H10.6096H10.6108H10.6119H10.6131H10.6143H10.6155H10.6166H10.6178H10.619H10.6201H10.6213H10.6225H10.6237H10.6248H10.626H10.6272H10.6283H10.6295H10.6307H10.6319H10.633H10.6342H10.6354H10.6365H10.6377H10.6389H10.6401H10.6412H10.6424H10.6436H10.6448H10.6459H10.6471H10.6483H10.6494H10.6506H10.6518H10.653H10.6541H10.6553H10.6565H10.6576H10.6588H10.66H10.6612H10.6623H10.6635H10.6647H10.6658H10.667H10.6682H10.6694H10.6705H10.6717H10.6729H10.674H10.6752H10.6764H10.6776H10.6787H10.6799H10.6811H10.6823H10.6834H10.6846H10.6858H10.6869H10.6881H10.6893H10.6905H10.6916H10.6928H10.694H10.6951H10.6963H10.6975H10.6987H10.6998H10.701H10.7022H10.7033H10.7045H10.7057H10.7069H10.708H10.7092H10.7104H10.7115H10.7127H10.7139H10.7151H10.7162H10.7174H10.7186H10.7198H10.7209H10.7221H10.7233H10.7244H10.7256H10.7268H10.728H10.7291H10.7303H10.7315H10.7326H10.7338H10.735H10.7362H10.7373H10.7385H10.7397H10.7408H10.742H10.7432H10.7444H10.7455H10.7467H10.7479H10.749H10.7502H10.7514H10.7526H10.7537H10.7549H10.7561H10.7573H10.7584H10.7596H10.7608H10.7619H10.7631H10.7643H10.7655H10.7666H10.7678H10.769H10.7701H10.7713H10.7725H10.7737H10.7748H10.776H10.7772H10.7783H10.7795H10.7807H10.7819H10.783H10.7842H10.7854H10.7865H10.7877H10.7889H10.7901H10.7912H10.7924H10.7936H10.7948H10.7959H10.7971H10.7983H10.7994H10.8006H10.8018H10.803H10.8041H10.8053H10.8065H10.8076H10.8088H10.81H10.8112H10.8123H10.8135H10.8147H10.8158H10.817H10.8182H10.8194H10.8205H10.8217H10.8229H10.824H10.8252H10.8264H10.8276H10.8287H10.8299H10.8311H10.8323H10.8334H10.8346H10.8358H10.8369H10.8381H10.8393H10.8405H10.8416H10.8428H10.844H10.8451H10.8463H10.8475H10.8487H10.8498H10.851H10.8522H10.8533H10.8545H10.8557H10.8569H10.858H10.8592H10.8604H10.8615H10.8627H10.8639H10.8651H10.8662H10.8674H10.8686H10.8698H10.8709H10.8721H10.8733H10.8744H10.8756H10.8768H10.878H10.8791H10.8803H10.8815H10.8826H10.8838H10.885H10.8862H10.8873H10.8885H10.8897H10.8908H10.892H10.8932H10.8944H10.8955H10.8967H10.8979H10.899H10.9002H10.9014H10.9026H10.9037H10.9049H10.9061H10.9073H10.9084H10.9096H10.9108H10.9119H10.9131H10.9143H10.9155H10.9166H10.9178H10.919H10.9201H10.9213H10.9225H10.9237H10.9248H10.926H10.9272H10.9283H10.9295H10.9307H10.9319H10.933H10.9342H10.9354H10.9365H10.9377H10.9389H10.9401H10.9412H10.9424H10.9436H10.9448H10.9459H10.9471H10.9483H10.9494H10.9506H10.9518H10.953H10.9541H10.9553H10.9565H10.9576H10.9588H10.96H10.9612H10.9623H10.9635H10.9647H10.9658H10.967H10.9682H10.9694H10.9705H10.9717H10.9729H10.974H10.9752H10.9764H10.9776H10.9787H10.9799H10.9811H10.9823H10.9834H10.9846H10.9858H10.9869H10.9881H10.9893H10.9905H10.9916H10.9928H10.994H10.9951H10.9963H10.9975H10.9987H10.9998H11.001H11.0022H11.0033H11.0045H11.0057H11.0069H11.008H11.0092H11.0104H11.0115H11.0127H11.0139H11.0151H11.0162H11.0174V17.6391L11.0257 17.6382C11.9398 17.5366 13.0503 17.1315 14.2571 16.3273C15.4638 15.6231 16.6684 14.6188 17.7716 13.4155C18.9755 12.2114 19.8785 11.0074 20.5807 9.90389L20.5807 9.90392L20.5822 9.90142C21.2838 8.69868 21.6948 7.58065 21.592 6.65534L21.5918 6.65433C21.4878 5.82245 20.9664 5.20513 20.0542 4.6983C19.3384 4.28937 18.2234 4.08887 16.9232 3.98885L16.9232 3.98882L16.921 3.98871C15.1998 3.90675 13.2773 4.02582 11.6513 4.12654C11.2887 4.149 10.9409 4.17054 10.6132 4.18874L10.6132 4.18857L10.6081 4.18921L9.80864 4.28914C9.80856 4.28915 9.80847 4.28916 9.80838 4.28917C8.09047 4.49134 6.47312 5.30005 5.26046 6.71482L5.26041 6.71477L5.25843 6.71729C4.14884 8.1295 3.54014 9.84879 3.74292 11.5724L3.7429 11.5724L3.74316 11.5742L3.74373 11.5782C3.84086 12.2581 3.93945 12.9483 4.22584 13.6395C2.93992 14.631 1.65415 15.7218 0.563179 16.9118C0.446754 17.029 0.392407 17.1993 0.392407 17.3636C0.392407 17.5285 0.447126 17.6994 0.564374 17.8167C0.621794 17.8741 0.704211 17.9284 0.783866 17.9682C0.861151 18.0069 0.949203 18.0386 1.01741 18.0386C1.24851 18.0386 1.36772 17.9194 1.468 17.8191L1.47044 17.8167L1.47048 17.8167L1.47237 17.8147C4.05847 15.0296 7.24136 12.9379 10.3286 11.4415L13.3051 11.9376L13.3049 11.9386H13.3174H13.4174C13.7605 11.9386 13.9823 11.7062 14.0886 11.3873C14.1492 11.2053 14.0859 11.0291 13.976 10.8918C13.8663 10.7546 13.7038 10.6467 13.5411 10.5925L13.5415 10.5914L13.5288 10.5895Z' fill='black' stroke='black' stroke-width='0.15'/></svg></div><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/health" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Health</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><div data-ttid="navigatn__nav-em-in" class="NavigatnItemIn-bpcxDt hLTmGs"><svg xmlns='' width='22' height='22' viewBox='0 0 22 22'><g fill-le='evenodd'><path d='M14.751 4.059c-1.75 0-3.203 1.309-4.016 2.242C9.922 5.368 8.47 4.06 6.72 4.06A4.726 4.726 0 0 0 2 8.779c0 1.866 6.623 8.133 8.652 10.01a.709.709 0 0 0 .996-.038.706.706 0 0 0-.04-.996c-4.905-4.536-8.2-8.304-8.2-8.976A3.315 3.315 0 0 1 6.72 5.467c1.809 0 3.416 2.342 3.432 2.367.261.388.902.391 1.17-.002.015-.023 1.616-2.365 3.43-2.365a3.315 3.315 0 0 1 3.31 3.312c0 .84-3.09 4.474-5.978 7.339a.7.7 0 0 0-.003.995c.133.135.31.209.499.209a.697.697 0 0 0 .496-.205c1.5-1.488 6.395-6.487 6.395-8.338a4.725 4.725 0 0 0-4.72-4.72'/><path d='M6.961 6.549L4.681 8.95a.704.704 0 0 0 1.02.97l2.28-2.4a.704.704 0 0 0-.025-.997.724.724 0 0 0-.995.026'/></g></svg></div><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/sex-love" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Love</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><div data-ttid="navigatn__nav-em-in" class="NavigatnItemIn-bpcxDt hLTmGs"><svg xmlns='' width='22' height='22' viewBox='0 0 22 22'><g fill-le='evenodd'><path d='M13.895 12a.692.692 0 0 0-.691.691 2.413 2.413 0 0 1-2.412 2.411 2.414 2.414 0 0 1-2.411-2.41.692.692 0 0 0-.69-.692c-.38 0-.691.31-.691.691a3.797 3.797 0 0 0 3.792 3.793 3.797 3.797 0 0 0 3.794-3.793.692.692 0 0 0-.69-.691'/><path d='M20.432 10.99l-2.35 1.393a9.278 9.278 0 0 0-1.086-1.228l1.813-2.106a.687.687 0 0 0-.072-.974.71.71 0 0 0-.975.073l-1.836 2.13a9.315 9.315 0 0 0-1.473-.837l1.05-2.658a.691.691 0 0 0-.39-.896.7.7 0 0 0-.896.389l-1.06 2.685a9.17 9.17 0 0 0-1.731-.312V5.69a.692.692 0 0 0-1.382 0v2.95a9.485 9.485 0 0 0-1.557.236l-.87-2.879a.706.706 0 0 0-.86-.462.687.687 0 0 0-.461.862l.876 2.905a9.236 9.236 0 0 0-1.37.693L4.037 7.5a.71.71 0 0 0-.962-.165.69.69 0 0 0-.166.964l1.774 2.508c-.394.333-.76.699-1.091 1.093l-2.495-1.813a.71.71 0 0 0-.965.152.68.68 0 0 0-.123.513.687.687 0 0 0 .276.453l2.497 1.815a9.175 9.175 0 0 0-.988 2.194.693.693 0 0 0 .662.889.692.692 0 0 0 .66-.493 7.912 7.912 0 0 1 1.163-2.36 7.89 7.89 0 0 1 6.377-3.253 7.86 7.86 0 0 1 6.552 3.525c.008.036.139.253.186.292.323.536.58 1.108.768 1.703.11.355.492.565.865.453a.694.694 0 0 0 .453-.867 9.124 9.124 0 0 0-.66-1.551l1.061-.63.947-.56.31-.185a.683.683 0 0 0 .316-.423.685.685 0 0 0-.075-.524.71.71 0 0 0-.947-.24z'/></g></svg></div><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/bety" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Bety</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><div data-ttid="navigatn__nav-em-in" class="NavigatnItemIn-bpcxDt hLTmGs"><svg xmlns='' width='22' height='22' viewBox='0 0 22 22'><g fill='none' fill-le='evenodd'><path fill='#000' fill-le='nonzero' d='M20.596 13.518a.554.554 0 0 1-.77-.136l-6.972-9.957a.554.554 0 0 1 .136-.77.554.554 0 0 1 .77.136l6.972 9.957a.554.554 0 0 1-.136.77'/><path fill='#000' fill-le='nonzero' d='M4.51 14.579a.549.549 0 0 1-.099-.783l8.43-10.988a.588.588 0 0 1 .802-.133.55.55 0 0 1 .1.784L5.31 14.446a.588.588 0 0 1-.801.133m1.916 2.733a.591.591 0 0 1 .407-.706l13.277-4.06a.547.547 0 0 1 .699.366.59.59 0 0 1-.407.706L7.125 17.679a.549.549 0 0 1-.7-.367'/><path fill='#000' fill-le='nonzero' d='M7.253 17.585a.554.554 0 0 1-.77-.136l-2.079-2.97a.554.554 0 0 1 .136-.77.554.554 0 0 1 .77.136l2.079 2.97a.554.554 0 0 1-.136.77m1.806-5.553a.554.554 0 0 1-.113-.773l3.405-4.57a.554.554 0 0 1 .774-.112c.243.182.294.53.112.773l-3.405 4.57a.554.554 0 0 1-.773.112'/><path stroke='#000' stroke-lep='round' stroke-width='1.4' d='M15.528 16.426c-.145.621-.628 1.328-1.578 1.584m-1.902-.58c.347.48 1.028.85 1.971.56'/><path fill='#000' fill-le='nonzero' d='M5.4 18.491a.554.554 0 0 1-.77-.135L2.99 16.02a.554.554 0 0 1 .904-.635l1.64 2.336a.555.555 0 0 1-.134.77'/></g></svg></div><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/culture" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Life</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><div data-ttid="navigatn__nav-em-in" class="NavigatnItemIn-bpcxDt hLTmGs"><svg xmlns='' width='20' height='18' viewBox='0 0 20 18'><path fill-le='evenodd' d='M18.146 8.337h-4.351a.634.634 0 0 0-.595.42l-1.553 4.353L9.433 1.514c-.054-.28-.29-.492-.618-.514a.628.628 0 0 0-.6.423L5.736 8.522H1.633a.633.633 0 1 0 0 1.263h4.552c.267 0 .507-.17.597-.424l1.85-5.298 2.209 11.566c.053.28.288.49.566.51l.054.004a.63.63 0 0 0 .596-.42l2.183-6.122h3.906a.633.633 0 0 0 0-1.264z'/></svg></div><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/health-ndns" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Condnally</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><div data-ttid="navigatn__nav-em-in" class="NavigatnItemIn-bpcxDt hLTmGs"><svg xmlns='' width='20' height='18' viewBox='0 0 14.5 14.9' style='enable-background:new 0 0 14.5 14.9;' xml:space='prerve'><path d='M12.5,3.5h-1.6c-0.1-0.6-0.3-1.2-0.6-1.8C9.7,0.8,8.8,0.1,7.4,0c0,0-0.1,0-0.1,0c0,0-0.1,0-0.1,0C5.7,0.1,4.8,0.8,4.2,1.7C3.8,2.3,3.6,2.9,3.6,3.5H2c-1.1,0-2,0.9-2,2v7.4c0,1.1,0.9,2,2,2h10.5c1.1,0,2-0.9,2-2V5.5C14.5,4.4,13.6,3.5,12.5,3.5z M5.5,2.5c0.3-0.5,0.9-0.9,1.8-1c0.9,0,1.5,0.5,1.8,1c0.2,0.3,0.3,0.7,0.4,1H5.1C5.1,3.2,5.3,2.8,5.5,2.5z M13,12.9c0,0.3-0.2,0.5-0.5,0.5H2c-0.3,0-0.5-0.2-0.5-0.5V5.5C1.5,5.2,1.7,5,2,5h1.6v1.8c0,0.4,0.3,0.8,0.8,0.8s0.8-0.3,0.8-0.8V5h4.4v1.8c0,0.4,0.3,0.8,0.7,0.8c0.4,0,0.8-0.3,0.8-0.8V5h1.5C12.8,5,13,5.2,13,5.5V12.9z'/></svg></div><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/shoppg" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Shoppg</a></li></ul></nav><span class="NavigatnDivir-fEDnwq ixXXMs navigatn__divir"></span><div><div class="MoreDropdownWrapper-dDKmCE chpTEM"><button data-ttid="MoreDropdownLabel" aria-expand="false" type="button" class="MoreDropdownLabel-hfApoZ eCWeYE">More<i class="AcuntDropdownToggleIn-cZvvYy jiAW"><svg class="in in-chevron" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns="><tle>Chevron</tle><path d="M19.071 16L12 8.929l1.414-1.414L21.9 16l-8.485 8.485L12 23.071z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></i></button><div data-ttid="StandardNavigatnDropdown" class="StandardNavigatnDropdown-iQQRZT kFFKdC"></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="StandardNavigatnSectnUtilyLks-ecAXBS jkLfwf"><div class="standard-navigatn-acunt standard-navigatn__sectn--utily-lks-log"><div class="AlertWrapper-gvFATk bkZbLJ AcuntDropdownBookmarkAlert-gjKEYt jsfpOb" data-ttid="BookmarkAlertDktop" role="tooltip"><div aria-hidn="te" role="prentatn" class="AlertArrow-daOgye kVBnAp alert-arrow"></div><div aria-hidn="te" role="prentatn" class="AlertInWrapper-iHNVmf iGkvlr"><svg class="in in-bookmark in-bookmark--activated" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Story Saved</tle><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-outle" d="M20 24L12.5 19.7804L5 24V3H20V24ZM12.5 18.6028L19 22.2336V3.98131H6V22.2336L12.5 18.6028Z" fill="black"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-checkmark" d="M11.5541 13.7033L9 11.2033L9.66216 10.5552L11.5541 12.407L15.3378 8.70331L16 9.35146L11.5541 13.7033Z" fill="black"></path></svg></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm iPUqcY htBxkR alert-msage"><p>To revis this article, select My Acunt, then<!-- --> <a href="/acunt/saved">View saved stori</a></p></div><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ hvzL bJNRGO button button--utily close-alert-button" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" role="button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Close Alert</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="ButtonIn-YqaGo iwlhuX button-in in in-close" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns="><path d="M16 14.586l6.364-6.364 1.414 1.414L17.414 16l6.364 6.364-1.414 1.414L16 17.414l-6.364 6.364-1.414-1.414L14.586 16 8.222 9.636l1.414-1.414z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></div></button></div><a href="/th/iate? rel="nofollow" data-ttid="signIn" class="StandardNavigatnAcuntLabel-pyqL gLaxHM">Sign In</a></div><div class="StandardNavigatnConsumerMarketgUnWrapper-iemhjj dZqPLK"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--nav-dialog" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--nav-dialog"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--nav-cta" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--nav-cta"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--nav-rollover" role="prentatn"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--nav-rollover"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--nav-gift" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--nav-gift"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><a href="/search" aria-label="Search" class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ hvzL ckbKqC button button--utily StandardNavigatnSearchButton-bhoYY dQzFlx" data-event-click="{"element":"Button","outgogURL":"/search"}" data-ttid="Button" type=""><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Search</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="ButtonIn-YqaGo iwlhuX button-in in in-search" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns=" data-ttid="inSearch"><tle>Search</tle><path d="M14.5 10a4.5 4.5 0 1 0 0 9 4.5 4.5 0 0 0 0-9zm5.249 8.335l4.458 4.458-1.414 1.414-4.458-4.458a6.5 6.5 0 1 1 1.414-1.414z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></div></a></hear><div aria-hidn="te" class="StandardNavigatnPrimaryLks-hsfnqT eaOiYu"><ul><li><a aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" href="/fns">Fns</a></li><li><a aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" href="/food">Food</a></li><li><a aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" href="/health">Health</a></li><li><a aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" href="/sex-love">Love</a></li><li><a aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" href="/bety">Bety</a></li><li><a aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" href="/culture">Life</a></li><li><a aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" href="/health-ndns">Condnally</a></li><li><a aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" href="/shoppg">Shoppg</a></li></ul></div><div aria-hidn="te" class="StandardNavigatnSendaryLks-UJYFF giBLkc"><ul><li><a aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" href="/vio">Vio</a></li><li><a aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" href="/fns/challeng">Challeng</a></li><li><a aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" href="/story/workout-fr">Workouts</a></li><li><a aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" href="/newsletter">Newsletter Signup</a></li></ul></div></div><div class="PersistentBottomWrapper-eddooY bIieWF persistent-bottom" data-journey-hook="persistent-bottom"><asi class="PaywallBarWrapper-hbEokK bfoVHc paywall-bar"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut paywall-bar__nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-bar-ll-to-actn" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-bar-ll-to-actn"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><div class="StickyHeroAdWrapper-eNLJUc fsuIIZ ad-stickyhero ad-stickyhero--standard ad-stickyhero-enable-mobile should-hold-space"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssS ad ad--hero"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--hero" data-no-id="2wkqof"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs elpfHZ ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp lkJlKO"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT dmqhlj"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX cJdXjE bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Love</span></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd bjcNOB gydgrM">8 Qutns People Ask Me When They Fd Out I’m an Open Relatnship</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ bZgCVT">We’ve been sleepg wh other people for four years.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gKcujo byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fPqUbj IWACp eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/valerie-fischel">Valerie Fischel</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2016-08-17T08:20:08-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd danQKH MlCHH">Augt 17, 2016</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP cAlrhp lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc bjtV lead-asset--width-small" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="This image may nta Clothg Apparel Heel and Footwear" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span></div></figure><div data-ttid="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor" class="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor-jYVcDc djtEof"></div></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg fgMkJI social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>I'm pretty sure <a href=">monogamy</a> was never for me. In fourth gra, I got trouble wh my boyiend bee he found out I had another boyiend. Throughout high school and llege, some of my relatnships overlapped, and some were purely dishont. But society told me I had to be wh one person at a time, wh the goal of <a href=">choosg one person forever</a>. I would often fall to a cycle of tryg to make that work but eventually lettg temptatn get the bt of me, and <a href=">failg both parti of the relatnship</a>; pecially my partner. I hurt people, and felt so wrong. It was so wrong.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>After a really great, long-term, succsfully monogamo relatnship end, I was sudnly <a href=">sgle</a> my late twenti and enjoyg the eedom and the variety. That’s when I met my partner on OkCupid. He was fun and our chemistry was fantastic and rare, and though we kept strictly physil, wh those boundari clearly fed throughout, spendg time together was beg the highlight. Eventually, the evable nversatn me up naturally about what we were, and what we uld be. We were both always aware of the existence of other lovers, but was clear that we were each other's favore. It occurred to that we uld keep the excement and variety, and still let ourselv fall love wh each other.</p><p>In July of 2012, we began an open relatnship. And sce then I’ve gotten a lot of qutns about how we make work and why we would even do that the first place. I get that n be hard for a lot of people to unrstand. But works for , and ’s not as unual as seems. Here are some of the most mon qutns I get.</p><h2>1. What do mean to be an “open relatnship,” anyway?</h2><p>An open relatnship is a form of non-monogamy, which is an umbrella term for any physil or romantic partnership that is not predited on exclivy. There are tons of versns. In this article I’m focg on what my partner and I are and do: a mted uple that tak lovers. Or as Dan Savage lls , we are “<a href=">monogamish</a>.” Even that n look really different om relatnship to relatnship. One <a href=">married uple I’m iends wh has a uple of girliends</a> between them, and they also have their own partners (she has both male and female partners, and he has female partners). I have a good iend who liv apart om her boyiend; she has several regular male and female lovers, while he travels the world, fdg spontaneo sexual enunters along the way. For another married uple I know, non-monogamy means one partner do thgs wh lovers that his hband don't really enjoy dog, while the hband opts for trysts. My partner and I keep our lovers separate (more on that later).</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>The great thg is, once you’ve cid that you n clu other people or lovers to your relatnship, you n make whatever you want. It's up to the uple to ci what levels of volvement wh sendary partners feels fortable. Generally, the one le wh non-monogamy is that all sluttery mt be done ethilly, safely, and wh nsent of all parti volved. Beyond that, each pair or group term their own lims and guil.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssS ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="n6vbn"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssS ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="iknxg"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>And lt you thk we’re a small subculture of ee-love weirdos, rearch over the last several years <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">timat</a> that 4-5 percent of relatnships the U.S are non-monogamo. Even more are terted the ncept. A <a href=">study</a> <a href=">scribed Psychology Today</a> 2014 found that between 23 and 40 percent of men and 11-22 percent of women are cur to try .</p><h2>2. Sounds fun. But why do you need this when you have a great S.O. at home?</h2><p>Many people feel that havg a relatnship or sex wh only one person for an fe amount of time is too difficult and unnatural. I have always been one of the people. For most of my life I was a serial monogamist and nstantly <a href=">cheatg</a>. In fact, I only had one <a href=">succsful monogamo relatnship</a>. It wasn’t until my partner and I created our arrangement that I realized I uld actually have all: mment and eedom. And he gets to, too. Everybody ws. (And <a href=">everybody gets laid</a>.)</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssS ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="oyfe0a"></div></div><p>A lot of non-monogamo upl joke that they spend more time talkg about than they do gettg any. That is the se wh .</p><h2>3. Why are you so anti-monogamy?</h2><p>I'm not sayg monogamy is impossible, or improbable. I know lots of <a href=">people who have very succsful monogamo relatnships</a> and are really happy together. But a lot of people are challengg the nventnal relatnship style, and ’s workg for them—jt like ’s workg for me.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>We build and modify the relatnship—and the l—as we go. Y, we have l!</p><h2>4. Oh, good. You have l. What are your l?</h2><p>We started wh very few, and now we have a few more that we’ve vised along the way. There have been stanc where somethg has felt unfortable, or tim we’ve felt hurt, so we've modified. We don’t get mad at each other if somethg happens that feels unfortable as long as ’s not a vlatn of an existg le; we learn om , and make a new le.</p><p><strong>Rule 1:</strong></p><p>This was the first le we ma up: This is our primary relatnship. We make a pot not to spend too much time wh sendary partners. We n, and sometim do bee iends wh them, pecially if they hang around for a uple years, but we have to cut off if be more than that.</p><p><strong>Rule 2:</strong></p><p>Honty. Always. But that's somethg we've never really had to make an effort for.</p><p><strong>Rule 3:</strong></p><p>Always get nsent om the person who’s gettg volved. And of urse, let each other know when we'll be seeg someone else.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p><strong>Rule 4:</strong></p><p>We don't date iends or anyone that we know—cludg anyone we are iends wh on social media. Once, I saw a Facebook profile of someone he end up sleepg wh, and she was absolutely stunng. That was hard for me bee I uldn’t help but pare myself to how I perceived her onle (most of which was jt illns filled by my very own bra, of urse). But we got through together. Jt bee he was the e of my hurt, didn’t mean I uldn’t wa to n to his arms and have him fort me. We ma a new le then: No sleepg wh Facebook iends, no iendg lovers.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssS ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="aiu5ed"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-10"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt fIrqYK">Most Popular</div><ul class="RecircMostPopularItems-dCAajf gqcRrp"><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jyDWrh summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--GALLERY summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw iybf" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="23 Delic Apple Recip to Make This Fall Other Than Pie" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl clSLtF summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM gWAxdE summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ izJpcw summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">23 Delic Apple Recip to Make This Fall Other Than Pie</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY fOzHsm summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ktuuhV byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Ashia Aubourg</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jyDWrh summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw iybf" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Easy Weekday Breakfast That Got Me Out of My Oatmeal Rut" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl clSLtF summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM gWAxdE summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ izJpcw summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Easy Weekday Breakfast That Got Me Out of My Oatmeal Rut</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY fOzHsm summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ktuuhV byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Hannah Dylan Pasternak</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jyDWrh summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw iybf" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="62 Bt Labor Day Sal to Pounce on Before the Long Weekend" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl clSLtF summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM gWAxdE summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ izJpcw summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">62 Bt Labor Day Sal to Pounce on Before the Long Weekend</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY fOzHsm summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ktuuhV byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Malia Griggs</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssS RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw bGBSrw ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="gxg1te"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs fObDao"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssS ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="gy6wy2d"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p><strong>Rule 5:</strong></p><p>Two different lovers one week is a ltle much, so we try to avoid that.</p><p><strong>Rule 6:</strong></p><p><a href=">ALWAYS e protectn</a>. Nobody wants <a href=">chlamydia</a>.</p><h2>5. Do you get jealo?</h2><p>Y, of urse! In monogamo relatnships the past, I was jealo all the time. Attractive women were a potential threat my md, and I was paranoid about my boyiends’ nnectns wh other people. Sce our munitn never allowed for a simple nversatn about how betiful some woman was, or how good lookg a guy I saw was, any amount of flirtg was tastrophic. Wh my current setup wh my partner, he knows that y, I am attracted to other people and am sleepg wh some. And I know the same about him. Confirmed, movg on.</p><p>Bis, a ltle jealoy n be healthy, and ually fas after a few hours to a few days. And there’s no nfince booster like rememberg that ’s me whom he home to and lov eply. My partner has ma clear what a tch I am. He knows all of my quirks, he knows what mak me tick and how to reason wh me. Nobody knows me like he do, and nobody is gog to know him like I do. When I really stop to thk about , I know that there’s very ltle chance that he’s seeg anyone who is gog to be better for him than I am.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>We’ve removed the ownership that n e wh a nventnal relatnship. My partner and I enjoy variety, and we know firsthand that the prence of other lovers don’t dimish the feelgs we have for each other. We talk to each other as iends, and nothg is rtricted om nversatn, which means sometim I ask him dumb qutns I already know the answer to—like, “Do you still love me?” and “Are you gog to Mexi wh her?” (obvly y, and obvly no, that orr)—jt to hear e om him. I n also pla to him when lovers are unol to me, and vice versa. Sce we’re stctured upon honty, I know I'll get an hont answer or hont advice. We’ve benefed so much om open munitn all-around. Openns is everythg.</p><p>Pl, knowg our signifint other is sired by other people is actually pretty sexy.</p><h2>6. What do you do while he's out wh another woman?</h2><p>Sometim I like seeg him leave for a date lookg really sexy and kissg him before he go out. We live together, so after he leav I get alone time to watch whatever I want and I get the whole kg size bed all to myself. If I’m a jealo mood and need to talk to someone, I’ll ll a iend for support and whe to them. My iends make me lgh and feel better. Ocsnally we’ll have dat on the same night, but happens rarely.</p><h2>7. What if you fall love wh someone else?</h2><p>We’ve worked really hard for a long time to build a lovg, happy, fun and tstg relatnship that we both feel is virtually unbreakable. We munite so much that nothg major would go unnoticed and not talked about. We’ve agreed that if thgs are gettg a ltle tense wh someone, we’ll end , but that hasn’t happened yet. Bis that, we've elimated the temptatn element, so sex isn’t a risky, adrenale-driven s. In my experience, adrenale rultg om sneakg around wh someone n bee pennce—the act self n bond people together, and n eventually be mistaken for love.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssS ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="jsver"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-11"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt fIrqYK">Most Popular</div><ul class="RecircMostPopularItems-dCAajf gqcRrp"><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jyDWrh summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--GALLERY summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw iybf" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="23 Delic Apple Recip to Make This Fall Other Than Pie" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl clSLtF summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM gWAxdE summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ izJpcw summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">23 Delic Apple Recip to Make This Fall Other Than Pie</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY fOzHsm summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ktuuhV byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Ashia Aubourg</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jyDWrh summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw iybf" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Easy Weekday Breakfast That Got Me Out of My Oatmeal Rut" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl clSLtF summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM gWAxdE summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ izJpcw summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Easy Weekday Breakfast That Got Me Out of My Oatmeal Rut</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY fOzHsm summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ktuuhV byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Hannah Dylan Pasternak</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jyDWrh summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw iybf" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="62 Bt Labor Day Sal to Pounce on Before the Long Weekend" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl clSLtF summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM gWAxdE summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ izJpcw summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">62 Bt Labor Day Sal to Pounce on Before the Long Weekend</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY fOzHsm summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ktuuhV byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Malia Griggs</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssS RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw bGBSrw ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="z6rcbff"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs fObDao"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssS ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="o71rfh"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Pl, there really isn’t anythg herent monogamo relatnships that protects mted people om fallg love wh someone else. What about that cute guy at work? Can’t you fall love wh him? If anythg, I would venture that there’s ls of a risk that we’d leave each other for a hot new lover bee we are explorg what’s out there—and we know ’s not better.</p><h2>8. Thanks for briefg me. This actually sounds que reasonable/logil/fun and pretty great, and I’m cur to try …where do I start?</h2><p>OK, maybe this isn’t <em>verbatim</em> a qutn I get all the time. But ually by the time I’m done wh my pch, I’ve persuad people to regnize non-monogamy as a valid relatnship type, and some want to give a shot themselv. Here’s what I did to prepare myself to be an open relatnship.</p><p>In orr ga the urage to try this, I had to start by realizg that the nventnal relatnships I’d known all of my life weren’t necsarily the only kd that was available to me. A book I read, lled <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><em>Sex At Dawn</em></a>, exam the evolutn of monogamy humans; wasn’t always the societal norm. Before agriculture and populatn growth, sexual promiscuy strengthened muni, rather than fuelg jealoy. Applyg that muny stcture to morn-day functnaly was a b more of a challenge, however. A iend remend another book that’s a favore read among a lot of non-monogamo people I know lled <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><em>The Ethil Slut</em></a>, which is an troductn to different typ of non-monogamy today’s society. That book helped clarify a lot of qutns that me up for me naturally about different approach to open relatnships, how to work through feelgs of jealoy, how to feel supported by your partner and your iends, and, above all, the importance of love and honty. I also listen regularly to Dan Savage’s podst, <em><a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Savage Lovest</a>,</em> which he tak lls and discs relatnships (cludg non-monogamo on), and the importance of <a href=">a healthy sex life</a>, wh a great al of practil wisdom.</p><p>Through a batn of rourc and my own experienc, I’ve learned that a succsful non-monogamo relatnship mt prrize munitn, honty, openns, llaboratn, and rpect—the same thgs that are important any relatnship, by the way. When those elements are practiced the daily and long-term functng of a relatnship, the oute is extraordarily empowerg. Feelgs of apprehensn, jealoy, and even sometim anger, are all normal emotns that everyone experienc at some pot open relatnships. It's healthy when you n intify them and regnize that they're not roadblocks; even seemgly negative emotns are eful bee you n work through and overe them wh reason and logic, both dividually and as a uple. It giv your md credible power, and your relatnship credible validy. If you’re feelg secure, jt ask your partner how much they love you and how perfect you are for them. They will let you know.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-4 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Update: This story was eded after publitn.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssS ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="85tmj"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="ContributorsWrapper-eNpWFu hEUvfU ntributors" data-ttid="Contributors"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="TextBlockWrapper-bNZsMC dTomOc StyledTextblock-SJflO kHgSzz disclaimer grid-layout__ntent"><p class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TextBlockText-gtrMkY iUEiRd Pbwma kQegaj">SELF do not provi medil advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any rmatn published on this webse or by this brand is not tend as a substute for medil advice, and you should not take any actn before nsultg wh a healthre profsnal.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div data-ttid="TagCloudWrapper" class="TagCloudWrapper-gGgndx iPNP ContentFooterTagCloud-krQmRG ZLGh"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudSectnHear-cOforY iUEiRd kgktQt kQQRmu">Topics</span><a href="/topic/datg" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fPqUbj iAqPKp hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd hJhJHy bUkXwu">datg</span></a><a href="/topic/relatnships" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fPqUbj iAqPKp hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd hJhJHy bUkXwu">relatnships</span></a><a href="/topic/sex" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fPqUbj iAqPKp hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd hJhJHy bUkXwu">sex</span></a></div></div></div></div><div data-ttid="ContentFooterBottom" class="ContentFooterBottom-jwWZfC kcbyiW"><div class="ntent-bottom-anchor"></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-footer" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-footer"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="recirc-list-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan ContentFooterRelated-kEBiFe kVUuwq"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 SummaryCollectnGridComponent-ktyEog bdTTVU summary-llectn-grid RecircListDefltOverlaySummaryCollectnGrid-AHJhY bEaXiL recirc-list__ems summary-llectn-grid--four-lumns summary-llectn-grid--TextBelowLeft"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="SummaryCollectnGridContent-eVUpRm gOErDJ"><div class="SectnTleRoot-dBGvdq fxVSsn SummaryCollectnGridSectnTle-fCmYwG izjbVn" data-ttid="SectnTle"><hear class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SectnTleHed-dKqZet dxqEAa iuxgWr jttyjJ">More om Self</hear></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridItems-DZShR edUBMh hi-read-more-ad" data-ttid="SummaryCollectnGridItems"><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff fKazuH summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm OJYRi" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="9 People on the Signs of Cheatg They Wish They’d Paid Attentn to Sooner" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl clSLtF summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">9 People on the Signs of Cheatg They Wish They’d Paid Attentn to Sooner</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">“Although she posted selfi wh her iends almost daily, she would never pot the mera at me.”</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff fKazuH summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm OJYRi" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Save Your Relatnship From the Social Media Comparison Trap" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl clSLtF summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Save Your Relatnship From the Social Media Comparison Trap</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Even the most picture-perfect pairs go through rough patch.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff fKazuH summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm OJYRi" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="7 Signs of Emotnal Abe That Aren’t So Obv" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl clSLtF summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">7 Signs of Emotnal Abe That Aren’t So Obv</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">It don’t have to be loud or vlent to “unt.”</div></div></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssS SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm OJYRi ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="qfnrss"></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff fKazuH summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm OJYRi" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Even Dolly Parton Gets Really Angry Sometim&-Here’s How She Lets It Out" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl clSLtF summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Even Dolly Parton Gets Really Angry Sometim—Here’s How She Lets It Out</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">“I don’t lose my temper, but I e my temper.”</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff fKazuH summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm OJYRi" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-5" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Clean Your Butt Before Anal Sex" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl clSLtF summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-5" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Clean Your Butt Before Anal Sex</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Be extra gentle wh your hole, pecially if you’re g an enema.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff fKazuH summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm OJYRi" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-6" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Stacy London’s ‘Sry’ Menopse Symptoms Had Her Qutng Her Mental Health" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl clSLtF summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-6" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Stacy London’s ‘Sry’ Menopse Symptoms Had Her Qutng Her Mental Health</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">“It n feel like a luge of thgs are gog wrong.” </div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff fKazuH summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm OJYRi" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-7" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Salma Hayek Showed Off Her Grays and the ‘Wisdom’ That Com Wh Them" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl clSLtF summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-7" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Salma Hayek Showed Off Her Grays and the ‘Wisdom’ That Com Wh Them</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">At 56, “everythg” about gettg olr has pleasantly surprised her.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff fKazuH summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm OJYRi" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-8" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="3 Thgs to Do If You’re a Guy Stgglg Wh Your Body Image" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl clSLtF summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-8" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">3 Thgs to Do If You’re a Guy Stgglg Wh Your Body Image</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Your food or fns route shouldn’t make you feel like sh.</div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridToActnWrapper-gnReGN eGayfk"></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="TaboolaWrapper-hMVdpE iYfBhy"><div class="TaboolaWidgetWrapper-egPIjc hkSrgt TaboolaWidget-eUSdED hQCCRa" data-ttid="TaboolaWidgetWrapper"><div class="TaboolaWidgetContent-iBEQTO eXroXG TABOOLA" id="taboola-below-article-thumbnails" data-ttid="TaboolaWidgetContent"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssS ad ad--footer should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--footer" data-no-id="kpu6g27"></div></div></div></div></div></ma><div class="BasePageMaFooterFiller-hTlZph jSriYf page__ma-footer-filler"></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--cm-footer" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--cm-footer"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan BasePageSeFooterRow-kpEBGH jqlJed"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 BasePageSeFooterRowGrid-iBGjXL zQNeb"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><footer class="SeFooterWrapper-bXjkRY geRRbs se-footer--wh-store"><div class="SeFooterGridNoMargs-jSrXSj kdlxBX" data-ttid="SeFooterGridNoMargs"><div class="SeFooterBrandInfo-cdoqKy cdkwFG"><div class="SeFooterLogo-eYlNHY eigdAF se-footer__logo"><a href="/"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset SeFooterLogoRponsiveAsset-ckjzWk kubVDn se-footer__rponsive-image"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SeFooterLogoRponsiveAsset-ckjzWk kubVDn se-footer__rponsive-image rponsive-image"><img alt="SELF" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="/verso/static/self/assets/" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/></picture></span></a></div><div data-ttid="SeFooterAbout" class="SeFooterAbout-lflfWa eShCNw"><div class="SeFooterAboutText-XXKBX blTbmF">Disver new workout ias, healthy-eatg recip, makp looks, sk-re advice, the bt bety products and tips, trends, and more om SELF.</div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV hwdgCG social-ins social-ins--footer SeFooterSocialIns-cLAKVY pJQob"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA gBoIvv social-ins__list"><li class="SocialInsListItem-mbhR gQILrJ social-ins__list-em social-ins__list-em--facebook social-ins__list-em--footer"><a aria-label="Follow on Facebook" class="external-lk SocialInExternalLk-huuzOU bEtrDj social-ins__lk social-ins__lk--facebook" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><div class="SocialInContaer-huXzUC pMzVC social-ins__in-ntaer"><svg class="SocialInNetworkInComponent-cZaKGz dlOAhZ in in-facebook" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Facebook.

TOP