"Bears" sger Tom Goss giv the skny on fatphobia gay and mastream culture.
Contents:
- I’M FAT AND GAY. HERE’S WHAT I’VE LEARNED.
- I’M A FAT GAY MAN. I KNOW. PLEASE STOP TELLG ME
- BEG OVERWEIGHT THE GAY COMMUNY: WHY IT’S NOT A BAD THG
- BEG FAT & GAY!
- BEG FAT IS LIKE BEG GAY (?)
- BEG FAT AND GAY IS A FATE WORSE THAN ATH
I’M FAT AND GAY. HERE’S WHAT I’VE LEARNED.
* being fat and gay *
This article isn’t about beg fat or th as an dividual, ’s about how our muny se weight and body warng, this is not a pretty overweight as a gay man thsts a person to unique suatns. Queer popular culture, filled almost exclively wh geo people, is inty-affirmg and soul-stroyg equal prevailg bety standards the gay muny are outpaced for sheer toxicy only by the women’s fashn dtry. What is or is not ‘acceptable’ my own experience, two distct groups of young gay men are generally seen as attractive and wily reprented media and culture.
The imag I saw of gay men were no better. There was the effortlsly mascule Jack McPhee on Dawson’s Creek, the h teen show of my generatn, and the tall, sexy Brian and prec blond twk Jt on Queer as was before Alex Newell or Daniel Franze or Ady Del Valle provid any pl-size role mols for young gay boys. Gay magaz, which clud eher waifish twks or mcled jocks, ma me feel like I would never belong, never be sired, never be worthy even my own muny.
I’M A FAT GAY MAN. I KNOW. PLEASE STOP TELLG ME
Is possible to be accepted the gay muny if you are fat and gay or do pend on where you live? Beg a gay guy I have stggled wh my weight my whole life. Even now I stggle and I fd very difficult to get people to engage wh me. Often… * being fat and gay *
I mataed a relatively healthy weight for most of my twenti, though I was still regularly the fattt person the gay club. Yet acrdg to one survey, 77 percent of gay men have felt judged or objectified bee of their body, wh 58 percent reportg prsure to look attractive.
It’s cliché to say , but only bee is te: the prsure to be th or to be f is lerally killg gay men like me.
BEG OVERWEIGHT THE GAY COMMUNY: WHY IT’S NOT A BAD THG
If, like me, you’re a fat gay man, remember that there is no right or wrong way to be gay. There was always lic food at the table, even if was leftovers om the soiree she jt took re of, which was a great thg for my mouth but ultimately a bad thg for my waist, acrdg to societal, and I knew om a very early age that I was gay.
Perhaps was me watchg that LL Cool J vio for “Do’ It” too many tim where the image of him puckerg his lips has left a long imprsn on me all this time later but I unrstood who I fat and gay. This all played to my own securi which I will brg up later on this story as the relatn is unnny when to beg fat the gay llege years were spent New England where I chose to attend school a cy that had a large gay prence pared to my nservative upbrgg Long Island.
The gay muny n be tough to navigate bee of weight and many other issu but ultimately you are gog home to yourself and not them. I’m wrg this lumn bee as fat gay men, our experienc are so different than most others the LGBTQ+ muny.
BEG FAT & GAY!
Perhaps we should start when I was 11 and I had jt got my chubby ltle fgers on a lol queer magaze and was flippg through, raveno for any glimmer of the unknown gay world outsi of my very nservative hoehold ral Arizona.
Feelg worse than before I picked up the magaze, I attempted to hi the thg my sock drawer, only to disver the next day had been replaced wh a Jehovah’s Wns pamphlet on the dangers of homosexualy.
BEG FAT IS LIKE BEG GAY (?)
Fast forward a few years and some gay sex scen on MTV’s The Real World, and I was jt as baffled as to where my fat self was gog to f to all of the gay shenanigans. It wasn’t until my hman year of high school when I got a crash urse on gay subcultur om my bt iend Ryan, who had accs to the ter and an fatuatn wh AOL chatrooms.
BEG FAT AND GAY IS A FATE WORSE THAN ATH
Anythg more than an average dad-bod or slightly chubby figure seems to stir up a sense of disda om the majory of this is certaly not the posn of all gay men, the experienc seem to be very mon for those of who don’t f this image of perfectn.
Even to this day, much more battle-worn than I once was, I’m always so shocked and repulsed by the posn of most gay men to be so unacceptg of fat dividuals, knowg how unkd the outsi world is to those who are different.