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knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp hNHLbh"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT kaztNz"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX jCrIBQ bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU kibNxt bric__lk" href="/wellns/sexual-health-inty"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Sexual Health + Inty</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd kSJIRM hRWzyk">How to Handle One Parent's Rejectn After Comg Out as Queer</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB faEicy ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ ePRlMp">You're fely not alone.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 80w" siz="66px"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 90w" siz="66px"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH iMWgyG byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd hXReUT gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd bbbwVd fNvcOK eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/brtney-mamara">Brtney McNamara</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2017-06-30T13:00:00-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd ekhvDV dQlcNj">June 30, 2017</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP dDDxdb lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz ccdiSo"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Handle One Parent's Rejectn After Comg Out as Queer" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE jCUnQr ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN eWQmYe"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd fEOCQm fNaHcW ptn__cred">Lydia Ortiz</span></div></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg sDfbk social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa XtZXd body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>In Ameri, there are an timated 1.6 ln <a href=">homels young people</a>, acrdg to the <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Te Colors Fund</a>. Of those people, 40% are LGBTQ, and many of them are out on the street bee of fay rejectn. While this is one of the worst-se-scenars, and many LGBTQ young people e out to great support om their fai, others fd themselv a middle ground: one parent supports them, while the other rejects them.</p><p>If you <a href=">e out</a> to your parents and one of them isn't supportive, first know that you're not alone. And while n be hard to pe wh, ial rejectn om a parent also don't mean you'll never be able to mend that relatnship. We checked wh Dr. Aron Janssen, Child Psychiatrist and <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">director of the Genr and Sexualy Service at the Child Study Center</a>, to fd out what the bt way to handle a parent's rejectn when you e out is.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p><em><strong>Teen Vogue:</strong></em> How should a young person who jt me out to their parents and only one is acceptg react the moment of first g out and experiencg that rejectn?</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p><strong>Dr. Aron Janssen:</strong> A reactn is jt that. I thk ’s impossible for most folks to predict accurately how their parents are gog to react and how you're gog to react to that reactn. It's more important to thk about what happens after that reactn as a way of movg the nversatn forward. This is a very emotnally charged experience. Often tim when we’re strsed we’re not reactg the most helpful or productive way.</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="2jfvu"></div></div><p>If you have one parent rejectg the moment, I would say often tim kids have to e out multiple tim. And the ial reactn is not necsarily predictive of longterm acceptance. A lot of kids and adults who have e out to their parents wh ial rejectg reactns the longterm have reached a level of acceptance. There are thgs people n do to crease the likelihood of that happeng.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p><em><strong>TV:</strong></em> What are some thgs a young person n do to crease the likelihood their parent will eventually accept their inty?</p><p><strong>AJ:</strong> I thk 's really easy to get ught up the emotn of the moment and to rpond to the emotn beg exprsed. Instead, young people should talk about their own experienc. Say, 'I feel this way.' 'This is how beg gay has impacted my life.' 'This is what means for me to be transgenr, this is how I have experienced my genr.' Your experience is your experience. Kids are the experts of their own liv and they should take fort and ownership of that expertise. Nobody is gog to be able to tell them how they’ve experienced their liv.</p><p>I would say my experience that the ial rejectn a lot of parents e to is bee of fear and ignorance about what means to be gay, what means to be trans, what means to be different om their parent this re aspect of their inty. What tak is tn. Sometim that n take place nversatn. When nversatns are too heated, sometim ’s a matter of providg rourc to your parents. Onle, books, muny works of support.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="ltv2or"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="p3c515"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa XtZXd body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p><em><strong>TV:</strong></em> Should young people try to change their parent's md?</p><p><strong>AJ:</strong> It pends upon the relatnship. A lot of peopl,e when they are challenged, foced on the adversarial qualy. They foc on wng the argument rather than listeng to each other. At the end of the day what’s really important is the young person g out is heard. Anythg that’s gog to solidify rejectn is not gog to be a child’s bt tert. Sometim havg an argument about inty feels like the right thg to do, but every child is an expert about themselv. It might be time to try a different strategy and circle back when 's ls heated.</p><p><em><strong>TV:</strong></em> What should a young person gog through this know?</p><p><strong>AJ:</strong> That there are rourc available. Even if both parets are rejectg, there is a warm and affirmg muny available eher person or onle. <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Support groups</a>, ll <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">centers</a>, <a href=">webs</a> you n accs where people n unrstand and lend a listneng ear.</p><p><em><strong>TV:</strong></em> What should someone gog through this know about ntug to live the same space wh an unacceptg parent?</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p><strong>AJ:</strong> As hard as is there is value listeng. Listeng will often do more to change mds than talkg will. As hard as might be to listen to your parent's perspective on thgs, will help terms of fdg a way to get through to your parent about what you actually need and helpg them unrstand their own language about what your inty means to you.</p><p><em>This terview has been lightly eded for clary.</em></p><p><strong>Related:</strong> <a href=">Deprsn and Suici Rourc for LGBTQ Teens</a></p><figure class="CneVioEmbedFigure-kCfJjN hdJOda e-vio-embed"><div data-ttid="script-ntaer"></div></figure></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="fdhiuc"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot 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data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">A Gui to Summer Break Ups (and Hook Ups), Acrdg to Your Zodiac Sign</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd eBANPJ iponZO summary-em__k">Let astrology be your gui. </div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY dhnQGM summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gETtIb byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd hXReUT gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Lisa Stardt</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff kTthaO summary-em summary-em--has-le summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm eOsELH" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz hlQxkn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source 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parents won't let me be gay

Livg wh homophobic parents n be a paful and difficult suatn. Whether you are gay yourself, have a close loved one or iend who is, or jt support the LGBT movement general, alg wh tolerance is tough. If your...

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‘MY PARENTS STILL WON’T ACCEPT THAT I’M GAY!’

* parents won't let me be gay *

Livg wh homophobic parents n be a paful and difficult suatn. Whether you are gay yourself, have a close loved one or iend who is, or jt support the LGBT movement general, alg wh tolerance is tough.

DEAR THERAPIST: MY PARENTS WON’T LET ME TELL MY BROTHER I’M GAY

In this week’s What Your Therapist Really Thks lumn, an 18-year-old wants to know what to do about his parents, who haven’t accepted that he is gay. * parents won't let me be gay *

If your parents have said or done homophobic thgs the past, you might try to ga an unrstandg of their viewpots and work to change them.

HOW N I PE WH MY FAY NOT ACCEPTG ME AS BEG GAY?

You may have heard your parents make homophobic ments before, but maybe you don't really unrstand why they feel the way they do. Start a dialogue wh them about their feelgs about gay people and e active listeng skills to tly hear their si of thgs.

MY MOTHER HAS NEVER ALT WH ME BEG GAY

Your parents may try to shg off when you ask "Why are you agast gay people? In some s, this might perta to their relig beliefs, but you might also unver a eper, or more personal reason that they are agast gay people.

If your parents are relig, they may have learned that homosexual relatnships, beg transgenr, or beg nonbary are wrong. They may stggle to accept that homosexualy is natural and part of who you are. They may even have a change of heart and stop beg so homophobic.

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

Even if your parents rema homophobic to some gree, they may soften up over time to mata a relatnship wh you. Also, if your parents are extremely homophobic, you may need to take preutns to protect your own emotnal well-beg and ensure you will still have a home and fancial support spe their beliefs. Article SummaryXDealg wh homophobic parents n be a challenge but try to listen to their views whout argug so you n unrstand their posn.

BEG A GAY PARENT DON’T MEAN MY KIDS WILL BE GAY. BUT SO WHAT IF THEY ARE?

If you’re gay yourself, make clear that you’re not askg for your parents’ permissn, sce you didn’t choose your sexualy. "I'm an openly gay teen who has stggled wh prsn and suicidal thoughts. My parents found out I was gay almost three years ago.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* PARENTS WON'T LET ME BE GAY

My parents don't want me to be gay but I am - Childle .

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