Can Someone Be Homosexual and Not Gay? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY…
• AM I GAY?
• HOW TO BEHAVE AROUND GAY PEOPLE IF YOU DON'T ACCEPT THEM
• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• I’M MALE AND I AM AAID THAT I MIGHT BE GAY
• I FELT GAY ATTRACTN FOR YEARS AND DIDN’T WANT IT. COUNSELG HELPED SAVE MY LIFE.
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY…

You don’t need to be certa you are gay before talkg to someone or attendg an LGBTQ+ meetg.

I have been out nearly 7 years now (age 16, sophomore year of HS). It is very homogeneo/ hetero-normative and beg a tholic stutn is not the easit environment for queer stunts.

There are many gay men who say "I'm not part of the scene" -- men who hate gay bars and, prumably, crowds of queer people general.

AM I GAY?

Internalized homophobia -- self-shamg, self-hatred -- leads many gay men, and many queer people general, to recreate their closets long after they're "out" by shunng others, particularly those they nsir "flamboyant. " Y, there are some good reasons to rce your participatn gay bars (time, money, health). But you mt spend time wh others, whether that means havg a group of gay movie iends or queer gamers or playg on a gay sports team.

Go to gay bars, even if they make you unfortable.

This parable piece by lbian wrer Sarah Prager go through the lp of great gays who changed the world -- om ventor Alan Turg to Tchaikovsky, the poser, to the Renaissance pater and ventor Leonardo da Vci. AIDS vastated muni of gay men and transgenr women, particularly gay men and trans women of lor. Read the numbers: In four years, more than 5, 596 people the Uned Stat had died of AIDS, many of them gay men and transgenr women.

HOW TO BEHAVE AROUND GAY PEOPLE IF YOU DON'T ACCEPT THEM

But if I hadn't experienced all that adversy, I wouldn't be so furly proud to be gay.

Fd a gay elr who's been where you are and r for your well-beg, someone who unrstands you and never pass judgment, someone who lets you make the mistak you need to make. Tmp has repeatedly attacked transgenr servicemembers, and gay men are still beg hunted and murred Chechnya.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

There would be no ternalized self-hatred if no one had ever told you that beg gay is wrong, or that gay sex is disgtg, or that gay men n't feel real love, or that beg transgenr is fake, or that beg nonbary is a mental illns or a ll for attentn. If you thk a word like "gay" or "queer" works for you right now (aga, don't have to work for you forever -- labels do not e wh lifetime ntracts) and you're not ready to tell everyone, simply say out loud to yourself. Disregardg all evince that the ex-gay movement is credibly damagg to more than 90% of those who unrgo "treatment" (bee they clearly jt didn't believe God enough), Settg Captiv Free wants you to know that you were not "born this way.

" Homosexualy is a s that you need to purge om your system, and the only way to do is to follow their three-parts-a-day the app is only downloadable om Google Play (iTun and the 69, 822+ people who petned them don't believe nversn therapy for some reason), there is an abridged versn available on the mistry’s webse.

I’M MALE AND I AM AAID THAT I MIGHT BE GAY

But Hont About Your S (But Not TOO Hont): Adm that you have homosexual tennci, but don’t say anythg else about .

I FELT GAY ATTRACTN FOR YEARS AND DIDN’T WANT IT. COUNSELG HELPED SAVE MY LIFE.

Stop Callg Your Homosexualy an "Alternative Liftyle": It's "Wicked, " "Evil, " and a "S": The are the only thgs you should ever ll om now on, preferably hhed ton. Even better, feel ee to refer to your homosexualy wh water-based metaphors: It's a "broken cistern" that will never satisfy your thirst. Change For the Right Reasons (the Glory Of God): After all, homosexualy is nothg but "lt, porn, and sexual immoraly, " ss that are applible only to gay people and never to straight on.

Always Read Scripture, But Only the Parts We Tell You to: Who knew curg homosexualy uld be so much like dog high school homework? Remove Yourself From Anythg Even Remotely Gay: Don't watch porn (aga, 's only a gay thg), don't go on gay webs, and most of all, certaly don't associate wh gay people. Any of those thgs might make you feel like your homosexualy is a natural part of your inty and n be accepted by those around you.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

Realize That Beg Homosexual Mak You Feel Alone Fet that we told you to shut yourself away om most of the world, and ignore the ia that maybe gay people feel so alone bee of the discrimatory and hateful attus that they face, helped by people like . Rencile Wh Those Who Tried to Help You Stop Beg Gay: All those people who lled you "faggot" and told you that you were gog to Hell?

If you tly believe God and want to change your sful ways, God will remove all homosexual urg om your md. But if at the end of this 60-day therapy, you still have homosexual tennci, then you didn't really believe and you didn't really want to change. I jt hated myself dividually for why I’m gay, I don’t want to be gay, I jt wanted everythg be normal.

Those people are actors beg paid to do what the director tells them to do, and many are not even gay.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

How n we help Christians who are stgglg wh homosexual sir?