What’s wrong wh beg “gay”? Here’s what they don’t tell you.

Contents:

• IS JALEN HURTS GAY? WHAT IS THE SEXUAL ORIENTATN OF ‘EAGL QB’ JALEN HURTS?
• WHAT’S WRONG WH BEG “GAY”? HERE’S WHAT THEY DON’T TELL YOU -- AND ’S REALLY DISTURBG.
• SAYG 'THAT'S GAY' PEJORATIVELY HURTS THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNY, STOP SAYG IT
• GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG
• SEXUAL PROBLEMS AFFECTG GAY MEN
• THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH
• GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN'S HEALTH ISSU
• THE EVERLASTG EFFECTS OF HOMOPHOBIA AND WHY 'S NOT JT GAY PEOPLE THAT SUFFER
• THE PANMIC IS HURTG GAY AND LBIAN BARS. THE NSEQUENC FOR THE MUNY ULD BE VASTATG
• ‘MY PARENTS STILL WON’T ACCEPT THAT I’M GAY!’

IS JALEN HURTS GAY? WHAT IS THE SEXUAL ORIENTATN OF ‘EAGL QB’ JALEN HURTS?

Right now, California is the only state that has banned the e of gay or trans "panic fens, " which allow perpetrators of asslt or murr agast members of the LGBTQ muny to get away wh their crim by claimg that a victim's sexual or genr inty ed them to act out a temporary f of sany. The Associated Prs named her to the third team of All-Amerins as a sophomore, before she transferred to LSU. Ree’s performance as a sophomore earned her a spot on the first team of All-Metro after she rerd an average of 17.

Acrdg to a 2014 study om Bradley Goodnight and lleagu at Geia State Universy, different dimensns of masculy are predictive of right-wg thorarian attus and anti-gay anger.

WHAT’S WRONG WH BEG “GAY”? HERE’S WHAT THEY DON’T TELL YOU -- AND ’S REALLY DISTURBG.

Participants who valued toughns and had anti-feme attus were more aggrsive toward their opponent when they were (a) toxited and (b) believed their opponent was gay bee of rmatn they had received about him earlier. Effects of masculy, thorarianism, and prejudice on antigay aggrsn: A path analysis of genr-role enforcement.

SAYG 'THAT'S GAY' PEJORATIVELY HURTS THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNY, STOP SAYG IT

Dormant masculy: Moratg effects of acute alhol toxitn on the relatn between male role norms and antigay aggrsn. It has bee accepted wisdom most pole circl – as well as schools, ernment, rporate Ameri, and certaly the popular culture – that homosexual behavr is a normal and natural variatn of life. An creasg amount of state and feral money is beg spent on “gay” diseas, health issu, and programs to unter “gay” domtic vlence.

And as legns of ex-gays attt, homosexualy is not an born actual data – readily available and even observable – n be md-bogglg. She wr, “In the 1970s, physicians were treatg the large number of ndns affectg the lower ttal tract of MSM unr the classifitn ‘gay bowel syndrome.

In San Francis, cince of the “Gay Bowel Syndrome, ” as was lled medil journals, had creased by 8, 000 percent after 1973. As Gabriel Rotello—thor of Sexual Elogy: AIDS and the Dty of Gay Men and founr of OutWeek Magaze—wrote, “sexual brotherhood of promiscuy … any abandonment of that promiscuy would amount to a munal betrayal of gargantuan proportns.

GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG

Rotello also said, “A stranger to gay culture, unaware of the realy of AIDS, might believe om much of the gay prs that HIV fectn was a sort of elixir that produced high self-teem, solved long-standg psychologil and substance abe problems, and enhanced physil appearance … creatg the subnsc imprsn that fectn—the ‘penalty’ of unsafe sex—is really not so bad after all. O’Leary wr, “Gay bars, gay bookstor, theaters, certa rort muni, and circu parti have tradnally provid venu where MSM uld engage var forms of sexual activy wh numero partners.

*MSM (men who have sex wh men) is the term ed the medil muny when discsg those who otherwise are lled gay or homosexual. Unrstand important health issu for gay men and other men who have sex wh men, and get tips for matag good Mayo Clic Staff.

SEXUAL PROBLEMS AFFECTG GAY MEN

However, there are some specific health ncerns that gay men and other men who have sex wh men need to be aware of. Gay men also are more likely to have body image problems and eatg disorrs, such as anorexia and bulimia, than are other men. Many health re and mental health anizatns foced on the lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr muny also offer substance e treatment or may be able to provi rmatn about lol rourc.

And rearch has shown that gay men and other men who have sex wh men experience timate partner vlence at a higher rate than do other men. A lack of shelters and other facili equipped to offer gay men a safe, supportive place to get help also may make dntg to seek re. Concern about homophobia and the stigma sometim associated wh homosexualy may prevent some gay men om gettg route health re.

They are the fay torchbearers of manls, and, as mal young and old know, homosexualy is nsired the dread oppose of masculy. Acrdg to Michael Kimmel, a soclogist and expert on male sex rol, men monstrate their masculy by repudiatg all that is feme and monstratg an ever-ready willgns to engage sexual terurse wh women whenever the opportuny aris- a nutshell, to prove they are not gay.

THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH

To be gay is to be powerls, weak, unable to break ee om Mommy, and the characteristics are patible wh real manls. Inially, the assertn that homophobia plays center stage men's mascule self-ncept may seem rather extreme.

A boy growg to a gay man will get the msage loud and clear that he is weak, dirty, and, perhaps worst of all, ls than a man. Th is no wonr that the boys the study for my book: Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, relled beg so reactive and fearful of the rpons of their fathers—the very people who were expectg them to receive and rry the torch of masculy. We mt remember that fathers and sons live the same world—one that teach boys that homosexualy is patible wh real masculy and, by associatn, full male adulthood.

GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN'S HEALTH ISSU

Th havg a gay son might feel particularly shameful for a father, as he may believe is an dictment of his own masculy.

When a father this study ially found out his son was gay, he repeated, over and over, "Do you know what two men do to each other? " Add to this shame and disappotment men's tenncy to be stoic about problems to avoid appearg petent or weak and one gets a sense why many fathers, like those of the boys prevly quoted, did not want to discs such a topic wh a stranger—a gay stranger, no ls.

THE EVERLASTG EFFECTS OF HOMOPHOBIA AND WHY 'S NOT JT GAY PEOPLE THAT SUFFER

Neverthels, is important to regnize that father-son antagonism uld be particularly woundg for a gay man. Richard Isay, a psychoanalyst who specializ work wh gay men believ that gay mal unrgo a reverse-Oedipal plex whereby, as young boys, they bee subnscly sexually attracted to their fathers (rather than their mothers). When the boy is a toddler, the father anxly sens the sublimal sexual charge their relatnship and, bee he is socialized to be repelled and aaid of homosexualy, he nsequently disengag om his son.

Oedipal issu asi, a velopg gay boy may monstrate some tradnally feme gtur or terts that forhadow an adult homosexual orientatn, which may turn make his father unfortable and want to distance. Sadly, father-son disengagement or stra may have particularly pernic nsequenc for gay men's adult liv and relatnships.

If this primary relatnship is characterized by fear, distance, and hostily durg childhood, as is for many gay men, this will no doubt terfere wh his abily to form and mata timate, mted relatnships wh male partners his future. For gay sons of all ag, but pecially those who are stgglg to tablish, fix, or strengthen their current same-sex relatnships, might be a good ia to look toward their past relatnships wh their fathers for sights and answers. Eher way, I have found my clil work wh gay men that much eful rmatn n be gaed by examg past, and even prent father-son teractns to terme what patterns are beg repeated and/or reacted to their current relatnships.

THE PANMIC IS HURTG GAY AND LBIAN BARS. THE NSEQUENC FOR THE MUNY ULD BE VASTATG

Fathers who love their gay sons need to unrstand the unique role they play their son's self-teem and future relatnships. Certaly all fathers need to show that they love their sons and dghters, but fathers of gay sons need to fd ways to surmount the barrier of homophobia and socially scripted queass about gay sex to show their sons that they are ed lovable and serve the love of a good man.

Although I rarely remend fictn to my clients or stunts, I urge all fathers of gay sons to follow the televisn seri Glee to study the relatnship between the gay character Kurt Hummel and his dad, Burt. Watch this very macho father reach across the great divi of sex-role expectatns to mata a relatnship wh his wonrfully "flamboyant" gay son built on unndnal love.

‘MY PARENTS STILL WON’T ACCEPT THAT I’M GAY!’

And also know, Dad, that there are many, many of gay men out there watchg that relatnship too—wh tears of gratu, envy, and longg. Over the years, I've found gay men who e to a surgery or nsultg room will sometim pretend they are straight.

They're generally the bt plac to get advice about HIV and you are most unlikely to enunter homophobic attus there. It is beg creasgly important to regnize discrepanci the re of lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, or queer (LGBTQ) patients all medil subspecialti, and pa management there is no exceptn. 2, 3 Addnally, mostly heterosexual femal and gay mal are more likely than same-genr pletely heterosexuals to have headach, and mostly heterosexual and bisexual femal are more likely to have mcle or jot pa.

A study of medil stunts monstrated that approximately half of the stunts reported havg negative attus toward lbian and gay people. Prejudice, social strs and mental health lbian, gay and bisexual populatns: nceptual issu and rearch evince.