DashDivirs_1_500x100</tle><path class="squiggly_grey" d="M48.5,3.59c8.06,0,8.06,2,16.12,2s8.06-2,16.11-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.11,2,8.07-2,16.13-2,8.06,2,16.11,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.13,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.07,2,16.13,2"/></svg></div></div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Jac and Candice’s story is unique, but <a href=">the fancial burn</a> they faced is not. Most LGBTQ+ upl who want children have to nont the fact that startg a fay will be expensive. Adoptn, fertily treatments, and surrogat are all stly, often lengthy procs.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">The Ciarllas say their surance only <a href=">vered their ttg for issu that uld e fertily</a>, such as blocked fallopian tub. They had no fancial help wh the sperm, the IUIs, or the rounds of IVF. All told, over the urse of three years, the uple would spend about $120,000 on four IVF cycl, $20,000 on fertily dgs,<strong> </strong>pl over $10,000 on IUI. “I got those numbers imprted on my bra,” Jac says. “We always knew that to be parents, we’d need to be cuttg to a good chunk of change — but we didn’t expect to be que that much.” </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text"><a href=" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Sandy Chuan</a>, MD, a fertily specialist at San Diego Fertily Center, nfirms that the sts of nceivg via fertily treatments n be shockgly high for LGBTQ+ upl. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">She says sperm sampl n st $600 to $900 per vial. One IUI attempt whout surance sts about $700 to $1,000, pl <a href=">the donor sperm</a>. “I ually tell my clients to ballpark around $1,500, but they might need to do three to six rounds,” Dr. Chuan explas. If IUI is unsuccsful, the next step is IVF, which Dr. Chuan says n st as much as $15,000, pl $4,000 to $5,000 for meditns to stimulate egg productn. The price pot for procr n vary by state and market.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="C" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":8}" id="ad-sectn-ad-C"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">For upl who need <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label=" a donor egg (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">a donor egg</a>, a procs that requir IVF, the price n be around $25,000 to $30,000, which clus the creatn of<strong> </strong>embryos and the donor’s medil screeng. Compensatn for the egg donor, geic ttg, legal fe, and meditn may add on an addnal $6,000 to $20,000. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">If a uple is g a surrogate, which is only legal some stat, <a href=" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">sts climb to an average of $110,000,</a> acrdg to the FertilyIQ, an anizatn that rearch fertily treatments and their sts<strong>. </strong>Dr. Chuan tells her patients to budget for $150,000 to acunt for miscellaneo expens. “I would timate $120,000 to $180,000 for patients, and they should realize that medil fe are jt a part of that number,” she says. “After that you’re payg for thgs like for meditns and pensatn for the egg donor and surrogate, legal fe, and agency fe.” You may also need to pay for your surrogate’s surance fe, and pensate them for time off work if they're put on bedrt. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Then there are the <a href=">dozens of smaller sts</a> that add up over a procs that n sometim take years: psychologil evaluatns for yourself and possible surrogat, as well as travel expens, to name a few.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-asset-ntaer left-align half-width"><div class="sectn-image-ntaer"><div class="sectn-image"><div><div class="img-ntaer"><div class="loadg"></div></div><div class="story-share image-shar"></div><div class="ntent-ptn"><div class="cred">David Kfman </div><div class="scriptn">David Kfman and his sons, Aaron and Lu. </div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">“It wasn’t like gog to Barney’s and gettg one big bill at the end,” says David Kfman, a journalist New York Cy. It was jt three and a half years ago that Kfman had tws via surrogacy wh his hband. At the time, he was ntually surprised by the sts that cropped up, cludg trips out of state to vis their surrogate (until this year, <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href=" target="_blank">paid surrogacy was largely illegal New York</a>) and<strong> </strong>hospal bills that kept rollg after his sons, Aaron and Lu, were born. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="D" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":9}" id="ad-sectn-ad-D"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Many upl, hopg to ay the sts of fertily treatments or adoptn, wd up turng to grants, fertily loans, or <a href=" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="even GoFundMe pag (opens a new tab)">even GoFundMe pag</a>. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Ashley Valenzuela, a 34-year-old krgarten readg terventnist Colorado, always knew she wanted to have a baby wh her wife, 38-year-old Ta Valenzuela. “We joked when we got married that we didn’t really need any gifts, we jt wanted money to help wh our baby fund.” </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">After Ashley unrwent five unsuccsful attempts at IUI, stg the uple $15,000, she was diagnosed wh <a href=" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) (opens a new tab)">polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)</a> — a hormonal ndn that is a mon e of fertily stggl — and was told her bt optn was IVF. But she didn’t have the money. Then the uple found <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href=" target="_blank">Baby Qut</a>, a nonprof anizatn that offers about 20 grants a year<strong> </strong>to pay for people’s fertily treatments. Ashley and Ta applied twice, and were eventually award a grant for about $15,000 to put towards IVF and the associated meditns. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">However, “I’m sure we spent at least another $15,000 on IVF on top of the grant,” Ashley says. “In total, untg the IUIs, about $45,000.” They had to pay for extra meditns, geic ttg, and <a href=">surgery related to her PCOS</a>. They picked up si gigs to ver the st. They started dog reflexology and reiki out of their home office. Ashley worked at Panera Bread the summers; Ta, a small bs owner, drove Lyft. They’re now seven months<strong> </strong>pregnant.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="E" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":10}" id="ad-sectn-ad-E"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-asset-ntaer left-align half-width"><div class="sectn-image-ntaer"><div class="sectn-image"><div><div class="img-ntaer"><div class="loadg"></div></div><div class="story-share image-shar"></div><div class="ntent-ptn"></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">“Are people not havg babi <a href=">bee of the st</a>?” asks Andrea Braverman, PhD, a fertily expert and clil profsor at Thomas Jefferson Universy. “I would be happy to bet my hoe on that.”</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-asset-ntaer full-width"><div class="sectn-divir"><div class="divir"><svg id="squiggly_grey" data-name="squiggly_grey" xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 500 9.18"><fs><style>.squiggly_grey{fill:none;stroke:#d5d5d5;stroke-lep:round;stroke-merlim:10;stroke-width:2px;}</style></fs><tle>DashDivirs_1_500x100</tle><path class="squiggly_grey" d="M48.5,3.59c8.06,0,8.06,2,16.12,2s8.06-2,16.11-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.11,2,8.07-2,16.13-2,8.06,2,16.11,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.13,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.07,2,16.13,2"/></svg></div></div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Addg to the fancial burn is the fact that most LGBTQ+ people pay for their fertily treatments out of pocket. “For all the years I’ve been practice, I’ve only had one patient who had their egg donor cycle <a href=">vered [by surance]</a>,” Dr. Chuan says. “That’s bee the patient’s pany offered a $100,000 cred for fertily treatments. The rt of my patients have basilly all paid thoands out of pocket.”</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">About 71%<a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="63% of patients and employe received zero verage for IVF (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank"> of all U.S. patients </a>unrgog IVF 2018 had no surance verage, <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="acrdg to data om FertilyIQ (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">acrdg to data om FertilyIQ</a> — a number which didn't factor sexualy.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Among the pani that do sure the procr, the verage might only apply for proven fertily, which is fed some polici<strong> </strong>as a “disease or ndn” characterized by the failure to nceive “wh regular, unprotected sexual terurse.” This n be terpreted a way that exclus verage for LGBTQ+ people.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text"><a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="RESOLVE: The Natnal Infertily Associatn (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">RESOLVE: The Natnal Infertily Associatn</a> has put forward legislatn that has changed this fn some stat, such as Colorado, and is workg wh <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="The Natnal Center for Lbian Rights (NCLR) (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">The Natnal Center for Lbian Rights (NCLR)</a> and <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="Men Havg Babi (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">Men Havg Babi</a> to ensure the fn is clive across the board.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="F" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":11}" id="ad-sectn-ad-F"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">“The key is not to ll a disease or ndn,” explas Ron Poole-Dayan, the founr of Men Havg Babi. He prefers a fn drafted by <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="Cathy Sakimura (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">Cathy Sakimura</a>, the fay law director of the NCLR. She drafted language that dubs fertily as the “abily to nceive or birth children whout medil terventn,” which n be shown, part, by “a statement that a vered dividual plans to nceive a child eher as an dividual or wh a partner wh whom the vered dividual nnot nceive a child through sexual terurse.” </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-asset-ntaer left-align full-width"><div class="sectn-pull-quote"><div class="quote-wrapper"><div class="quote-before">“</div><p class="quote">We always knew that to be parents, we’d need to be cuttg to a good chunk of change — but we didn’t expect to be que that much.</p><div class="quote-cred">Jac Ciarlla</div><div class="quote-after">”</div></div></div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">“We want to try to remove st as a barrier to re, and argue that <a href=">reproductn is a basic human right</a>,” says Betsy Campbell, the chief engagement officer at RESOLVE. “We have the medil re to make that possible, and we thk that surance should ver medilly necsary treatments.”</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Another example of equaly verage: Some surance polici might make a heterosexual uple prove medil fertily by <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="havg unprotected sex for a year wh no rults (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">havg unprotected sex for a year wh no rults</a>. That practice, while tratg, is ee. A lbian uple, on the other hand, might be asked to show their surance pany they've had six unsuccsful attempts at IUI, explas <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="Diane Ravech (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">Diane Ravech</a>, vice print of work ntractg at <a href=" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="CCRM Fertily (opens a new tab)">CCRM Fertily</a>. They uld end up payg around $6,000 or more out of pocket for those procr alone.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="G" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":12}" id="ad-sectn-ad-G"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-asset-ntaer full-width"><div class="sectn-divir"><div class="divir"><svg id="squiggly_grey" data-name="squiggly_grey" xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 500 9.18"><fs><style>.squiggly_grey{fill:none;stroke:#d5d5d5;stroke-lep:round;stroke-merlim:10;stroke-width:2px;}</style></fs><tle>DashDivirs_1_500x100</tle><path class="squiggly_grey" d="M48.5,3.59c8.06,0,8.06,2,16.12,2s8.06-2,16.11-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.11,2,8.07-2,16.13-2,8.06,2,16.11,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.13,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.07,2,16.13,2"/></svg></div></div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Many people who have stggled to nceive on their own have been asked, “Why don’t you adopt?” But this method is also pricey, explas Nile Wt, executive director at <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="The Adoptn Consultancy (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">The Adoptn Consultancy</a>, which provis rmatn and rourc to those who want to adopt. “For people who are lookg to take home a newborn through private, domtic adoptn through an agency, the price n n om $30,000 to high $40,000s, m a<strong> </strong>feral<strong> </strong><a href=" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">tax cred of up to $14,300</a>.” The st of ternatnal adoptns are siar, though travel sts may be higher, Wt says. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Fosterg is one of the more affordable ways for LGBTQ+ upl to brg children to their liv, Wt says<strong>. </strong>Stat give foster fai a monthly stipend to support the child, and you n tell an agency up ont that you’d eventually like to adopt. If you do adopt a foster child, most fe are waived, save for $1,000 or so legal fe, which also may be waived, says John DeGarmo, PhD, the founr of <a href=" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">The Foster Care Instute</a>. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Fosterg to adopt n be a hugely posive experience for both the parents and children volved. It's not always a straightforward path, though. Sce the goal wh fosterg is typilly to rne the child wh their blogil fay, the procs n take at least 18 to 22 months or longer, DeGarmo says. “I’ve adopted three kids om foster re, but I’ve also had four failed adoptns,” he not.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="H" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":13}" id="ad-sectn-ad-H"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Another nsiratn LGBTQ+ people mt make is legaly. Same-sex upl still aren't <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="legally allowed to jotly adopt (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">legally allowed to jotly adopt</a> <a href="> all untri</a>. The <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="Supreme Court has led has led (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">Supreme Court has led</a> that same-sex marriag are to be treated equally for all purpos all 50 U.S. stat. But <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="a handful of stat the U.S. (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">a handful of stat</a> have laws that allow relig anizatns to turn away LGBTQ+ folks who want to be foster or adoptive parents — some stanc, even if those anizatns e ernment fundg, explas <a aria-label="a handful of stat the U.S. (opens a new tab)" href=" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Currey Cook</a>, unsel and the director of Lambda Legal’s <a href=" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Youth Out-of-Home Care Project</a>.<strong> </strong>"In s like this, the feral and some state ernments are sayg that this is fe," he says. "It's the ernment's ntentn that there’s no harm to [upl blocked by such laws] bee they n go somewhere else." But the tth is, 's not that simple.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">In 2017, Fatma Marouf, the director of the Immigrant Rights Clic at Texas A&M School of Law, was ntacted by Catholic Chari Fort Worth. The anizatn hosts immigrant and refugee children until they’re placed wh foster parents and receiv money via feral grants. After tourg the facili, Fatma me home and ghed about the experience to Bryn Espl, an assistant profsor of medice.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="I" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":14}" id="ad-sectn-ad-I"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-asset-ntaer right-align half-width"><div class="sectn-image-ntaer"><div class="sectn-image"><div><div class="img-ntaer"><div class="loadg"></div></div><div class="story-share image-shar"></div><div class="ntent-ptn"><div class="cred">Fatma Marouf and Bryn Espl</div><div class="scriptn">Fatma Marouf and Bryn Espl</div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">“I told Bryn that I jt thought we uld offer the kids a better place,” she says. “I felt bad for them those facili. There was no art on the walls.” She thought of the patgs on her walls her home, and her full bookshelv, which are vered wh novels, trkets, and pictur.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">The uple got on the phone wh Catholic Chari to explore the possibily of fosterg. The anizatn read off a list of requirements to bee foster parents, thgs like havg a fire extguisher the hoe, and havg drawer space for the child. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">“I was listeng to the list, and wrg thgs down,” Bryn says. “Check, check, check. But when they realized we were two women — I thk at first they thought my name was Bryan — they add that there was another requirement, that foster parents ‘mirror the holy fay.’ I remember wrg down, circlg , and then lookg at Fatma jt bewilred —  disbelief.”</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">The phrasg prompted Fatma to clarify that she and Bryn are a same-sex uple. The Catholic Chari reprentative then told them they didn't "qualify" to foster a child, acrdg to the crimal plat.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Bryn and Fatma are now platiffs a lawsu agast the feral ernment, fightg agast the discrimatn they faced. They’ve been entangled the legal system for three years. They’re beg reprented by Lambda Legal, which works to fend the civil rights of the LGBTQ+ muny. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">“We know this is discrimatn at s re,” explas Jamie Gliksberg, the lawyer reprentg the se. “It's known the LGBTQ+ muny, pecially a smaller regn of Texas like this, that, due to discrimatn, same-sex upl experience untls barriers to fosterg and adoptg children. As a rult, they often have to rort to more expensive optns orr to have children and grow their lovg fai."</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="J" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":15}" id="ad-sectn-ad-J"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Other parti volved, cludg Catholic Chari Fort Worth and The Uned Stat Conference of Catholic Bishops, didn’t rpond to Refery29’s requt for ment. The Uned Stat Department of Health & Human Servic, The Office of Refugee Rettlement, and The Department of Jtice cled to ment on pendg ligatn.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">The se is still ongog, but Fatma and Bryn have found a silver lg. After gog through IVF, the uple weled their dghter Azra to the world earlier this year. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-asset-ntaer full-width"><div class="sectn-divir"><div class="divir"><svg id="squiggly_grey" data-name="squiggly_grey" xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 500 9.18"><fs><style>.squiggly_grey{fill:none;stroke:#d5d5d5;stroke-lep:round;stroke-merlim:10;stroke-width:2px;}</style></fs><tle>DashDivirs_1_500x100

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* FIRST GAY COUPLE TO ADOPT A CHILD

DashDivirs_1_500x100</tle><path class="squiggly_grey" d="M48.5,3.59c8.06,0,8.06,2,16.12,2s8.06-2,16.11-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.11,2,8.07-2,16.13-2,8.06,2,16.11,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.13,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.07,2,16.13,2"/></svg></div></div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Jac and Candice’s story is unique, but <a href=">the fancial burn</a> they faced is not. Most LGBTQ+ upl who want children have to nont the fact that startg a fay will be expensive. Adoptn, fertily treatments, and surrogat are all stly, often lengthy procs.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">The Ciarllas say their surance only <a href=">vered their ttg for issu that uld e fertily</a>, such as blocked fallopian tub. They had no fancial help wh the sperm, the IUIs, or the rounds of IVF. All told, over the urse of three years, the uple would spend about $120,000 on four IVF cycl, $20,000 on fertily dgs,<strong> </strong>pl over $10,000 on IUI. “I got those numbers imprted on my bra,” Jac says. “We always knew that to be parents, we’d need to be cuttg to a good chunk of change — but we didn’t expect to be que that much.” </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text"><a href=" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Sandy Chuan</a>, MD, a fertily specialist at San Diego Fertily Center, nfirms that the sts of nceivg via fertily treatments n be shockgly high for LGBTQ+ upl. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">She says sperm sampl n st $600 to $900 per vial. One IUI attempt whout surance sts about $700 to $1,000, pl <a href=">the donor sperm</a>. “I ually tell my clients to ballpark around $1,500, but they might need to do three to six rounds,” Dr. Chuan explas. If IUI is unsuccsful, the next step is IVF, which Dr. Chuan says n st as much as $15,000, pl $4,000 to $5,000 for meditns to stimulate egg productn. The price pot for procr n vary by state and market.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="C" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":8}" id="ad-sectn-ad-C"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">For upl who need <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label=" a donor egg (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">a donor egg</a>, a procs that requir IVF, the price n be around $25,000 to $30,000, which clus the creatn of<strong> </strong>embryos and the donor’s medil screeng. Compensatn for the egg donor, geic ttg, legal fe, and meditn may add on an addnal $6,000 to $20,000. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">If a uple is g a surrogate, which is only legal some stat, <a href=" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">sts climb to an average of $110,000,</a> acrdg to the FertilyIQ, an anizatn that rearch fertily treatments and their sts<strong>. </strong>Dr. Chuan tells her patients to budget for $150,000 to acunt for miscellaneo expens. “I would timate $120,000 to $180,000 for patients, and they should realize that medil fe are jt a part of that number,” she says. “After that you’re payg for thgs like for meditns and pensatn for the egg donor and surrogate, legal fe, and agency fe.” You may also need to pay for your surrogate’s surance fe, and pensate them for time off work if they're put on bedrt. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Then there are the <a href=">dozens of smaller sts</a> that add up over a procs that n sometim take years: psychologil evaluatns for yourself and possible surrogat, as well as travel expens, to name a few.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-asset-ntaer left-align half-width"><div class="sectn-image-ntaer"><div class="sectn-image"><div><div class="img-ntaer"><div class="loadg"></div></div><div class="story-share image-shar"></div><div class="ntent-ptn"><div class="cred">David Kfman </div><div class="scriptn">David Kfman and his sons, Aaron and Lu. </div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">“It wasn’t like gog to Barney’s and gettg one big bill at the end,” says David Kfman, a journalist New York Cy. It was jt three and a half years ago that Kfman had tws via surrogacy wh his hband. At the time, he was ntually surprised by the sts that cropped up, cludg trips out of state to vis their surrogate (until this year, <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href=" target="_blank">paid surrogacy was largely illegal New York</a>) and<strong> </strong>hospal bills that kept rollg after his sons, Aaron and Lu, were born. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="D" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":9}" id="ad-sectn-ad-D"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Many upl, hopg to ay the sts of fertily treatments or adoptn, wd up turng to grants, fertily loans, or <a href=" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="even GoFundMe pag (opens a new tab)">even GoFundMe pag</a>. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Ashley Valenzuela, a 34-year-old krgarten readg terventnist Colorado, always knew she wanted to have a baby wh her wife, 38-year-old Ta Valenzuela. “We joked when we got married that we didn’t really need any gifts, we jt wanted money to help wh our baby fund.” </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">After Ashley unrwent five unsuccsful attempts at IUI, stg the uple $15,000, she was diagnosed wh <a href=" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) (opens a new tab)">polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)</a> — a hormonal ndn that is a mon e of fertily stggl — and was told her bt optn was IVF. But she didn’t have the money. Then the uple found <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href=" target="_blank">Baby Qut</a>, a nonprof anizatn that offers about 20 grants a year<strong> </strong>to pay for people’s fertily treatments. Ashley and Ta applied twice, and were eventually award a grant for about $15,000 to put towards IVF and the associated meditns. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">However, “I’m sure we spent at least another $15,000 on IVF on top of the grant,” Ashley says. “In total, untg the IUIs, about $45,000.” They had to pay for extra meditns, geic ttg, and <a href=">surgery related to her PCOS</a>. They picked up si gigs to ver the st. They started dog reflexology and reiki out of their home office. Ashley worked at Panera Bread the summers; Ta, a small bs owner, drove Lyft. They’re now seven months<strong> </strong>pregnant.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="E" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":10}" id="ad-sectn-ad-E"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-asset-ntaer left-align half-width"><div class="sectn-image-ntaer"><div class="sectn-image"><div><div class="img-ntaer"><div class="loadg"></div></div><div class="story-share image-shar"></div><div class="ntent-ptn"></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">“Are people not havg babi <a href=">bee of the st</a>?” asks Andrea Braverman, PhD, a fertily expert and clil profsor at Thomas Jefferson Universy. “I would be happy to bet my hoe on that.”</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-asset-ntaer full-width"><div class="sectn-divir"><div class="divir"><svg id="squiggly_grey" data-name="squiggly_grey" xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 500 9.18"><fs><style>.squiggly_grey{fill:none;stroke:#d5d5d5;stroke-lep:round;stroke-merlim:10;stroke-width:2px;}</style></fs><tle>DashDivirs_1_500x100</tle><path class="squiggly_grey" d="M48.5,3.59c8.06,0,8.06,2,16.12,2s8.06-2,16.11-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.11,2,8.07-2,16.13-2,8.06,2,16.11,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.13,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.07,2,16.13,2"/></svg></div></div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Addg to the fancial burn is the fact that most LGBTQ+ people pay for their fertily treatments out of pocket. “For all the years I’ve been practice, I’ve only had one patient who had their egg donor cycle <a href=">vered [by surance]</a>,” Dr. Chuan says. “That’s bee the patient’s pany offered a $100,000 cred for fertily treatments. The rt of my patients have basilly all paid thoands out of pocket.”</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">About 71%<a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="63% of patients and employe received zero verage for IVF (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank"> of all U.S. patients </a>unrgog IVF 2018 had no surance verage, <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="acrdg to data om FertilyIQ (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">acrdg to data om FertilyIQ</a> — a number which didn't factor sexualy.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Among the pani that do sure the procr, the verage might only apply for proven fertily, which is fed some polici<strong> </strong>as a “disease or ndn” characterized by the failure to nceive “wh regular, unprotected sexual terurse.” This n be terpreted a way that exclus verage for LGBTQ+ people.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text"><a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="RESOLVE: The Natnal Infertily Associatn (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">RESOLVE: The Natnal Infertily Associatn</a> has put forward legislatn that has changed this fn some stat, such as Colorado, and is workg wh <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="The Natnal Center for Lbian Rights (NCLR) (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">The Natnal Center for Lbian Rights (NCLR)</a> and <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="Men Havg Babi (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">Men Havg Babi</a> to ensure the fn is clive across the board.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="F" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":11}" id="ad-sectn-ad-F"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">“The key is not to ll a disease or ndn,” explas Ron Poole-Dayan, the founr of Men Havg Babi. He prefers a fn drafted by <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="Cathy Sakimura (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">Cathy Sakimura</a>, the fay law director of the NCLR. She drafted language that dubs fertily as the “abily to nceive or birth children whout medil terventn,” which n be shown, part, by “a statement that a vered dividual plans to nceive a child eher as an dividual or wh a partner wh whom the vered dividual nnot nceive a child through sexual terurse.” </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-asset-ntaer left-align full-width"><div class="sectn-pull-quote"><div class="quote-wrapper"><div class="quote-before">“</div><p class="quote">We always knew that to be parents, we’d need to be cuttg to a good chunk of change — but we didn’t expect to be que that much.</p><div class="quote-cred">Jac Ciarlla</div><div class="quote-after">”</div></div></div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">“We want to try to remove st as a barrier to re, and argue that <a href=">reproductn is a basic human right</a>,” says Betsy Campbell, the chief engagement officer at RESOLVE. “We have the medil re to make that possible, and we thk that surance should ver medilly necsary treatments.”</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Another example of equaly verage: Some surance polici might make a heterosexual uple prove medil fertily by <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="havg unprotected sex for a year wh no rults (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">havg unprotected sex for a year wh no rults</a>. That practice, while tratg, is ee. A lbian uple, on the other hand, might be asked to show their surance pany they've had six unsuccsful attempts at IUI, explas <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="Diane Ravech (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">Diane Ravech</a>, vice print of work ntractg at <a href=" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="CCRM Fertily (opens a new tab)">CCRM Fertily</a>. They uld end up payg around $6,000 or more out of pocket for those procr alone.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="G" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":12}" id="ad-sectn-ad-G"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-asset-ntaer full-width"><div class="sectn-divir"><div class="divir"><svg id="squiggly_grey" data-name="squiggly_grey" xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 500 9.18"><fs><style>.squiggly_grey{fill:none;stroke:#d5d5d5;stroke-lep:round;stroke-merlim:10;stroke-width:2px;}</style></fs><tle>DashDivirs_1_500x100</tle><path class="squiggly_grey" d="M48.5,3.59c8.06,0,8.06,2,16.12,2s8.06-2,16.11-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.11,2,8.07-2,16.13-2,8.06,2,16.11,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.12,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.06,2,16.13,2,8.06-2,16.12-2,8.07,2,16.13,2"/></svg></div></div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Many people who have stggled to nceive on their own have been asked, “Why don’t you adopt?” But this method is also pricey, explas Nile Wt, executive director at <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="The Adoptn Consultancy (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">The Adoptn Consultancy</a>, which provis rmatn and rourc to those who want to adopt. “For people who are lookg to take home a newborn through private, domtic adoptn through an agency, the price n n om $30,000 to high $40,000s, m a<strong> </strong>feral<strong> </strong><a href=" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">tax cred of up to $14,300</a>.” The st of ternatnal adoptns are siar, though travel sts may be higher, Wt says. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Fosterg is one of the more affordable ways for LGBTQ+ upl to brg children to their liv, Wt says<strong>. </strong>Stat give foster fai a monthly stipend to support the child, and you n tell an agency up ont that you’d eventually like to adopt. If you do adopt a foster child, most fe are waived, save for $1,000 or so legal fe, which also may be waived, says John DeGarmo, PhD, the founr of <a href=" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">The Foster Care Instute</a>. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Fosterg to adopt n be a hugely posive experience for both the parents and children volved. It's not always a straightforward path, though. Sce the goal wh fosterg is typilly to rne the child wh their blogil fay, the procs n take at least 18 to 22 months or longer, DeGarmo says. “I’ve adopted three kids om foster re, but I’ve also had four failed adoptns,” he not.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="H" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":13}" id="ad-sectn-ad-H"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Another nsiratn LGBTQ+ people mt make is legaly. Same-sex upl still aren't <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="legally allowed to jotly adopt (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">legally allowed to jotly adopt</a> <a href="> all untri</a>. The <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="Supreme Court has led has led (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">Supreme Court has led</a> that same-sex marriag are to be treated equally for all purpos all 50 U.S. stat. But <a rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="a handful of stat the U.S. (opens a new tab)" href=" target="_blank">a handful of stat</a> have laws that allow relig anizatns to turn away LGBTQ+ folks who want to be foster or adoptive parents — some stanc, even if those anizatns e ernment fundg, explas <a aria-label="a handful of stat the U.S. (opens a new tab)" href=" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Currey Cook</a>, unsel and the director of Lambda Legal’s <a href=" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Youth Out-of-Home Care Project</a>.<strong> </strong>"In s like this, the feral and some state ernments are sayg that this is fe," he says. "It's the ernment's ntentn that there’s no harm to [upl blocked by such laws] bee they n go somewhere else." But the tth is, 's not that simple.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">In 2017, Fatma Marouf, the director of the Immigrant Rights Clic at Texas A&M School of Law, was ntacted by Catholic Chari Fort Worth. The anizatn hosts immigrant and refugee children until they’re placed wh foster parents and receiv money via feral grants. After tourg the facili, Fatma me home and ghed about the experience to Bryn Espl, an assistant profsor of medice.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="I" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":14}" id="ad-sectn-ad-I"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-asset-ntaer right-align half-width"><div class="sectn-image-ntaer"><div class="sectn-image"><div><div class="img-ntaer"><div class="loadg"></div></div><div class="story-share image-shar"></div><div class="ntent-ptn"><div class="cred">Fatma Marouf and Bryn Espl</div><div class="scriptn">Fatma Marouf and Bryn Espl</div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">“I told Bryn that I jt thought we uld offer the kids a better place,” she says. “I felt bad for them those facili. There was no art on the walls.” She thought of the patgs on her walls her home, and her full bookshelv, which are vered wh novels, trkets, and pictur.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">The uple got on the phone wh Catholic Chari to explore the possibily of fosterg. The anizatn read off a list of requirements to bee foster parents, thgs like havg a fire extguisher the hoe, and havg drawer space for the child. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">“I was listeng to the list, and wrg thgs down,” Bryn says. “Check, check, check. But when they realized we were two women — I thk at first they thought my name was Bryan — they add that there was another requirement, that foster parents ‘mirror the holy fay.’ I remember wrg down, circlg , and then lookg at Fatma jt bewilred —  disbelief.”</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">The phrasg prompted Fatma to clarify that she and Bryn are a same-sex uple. The Catholic Chari reprentative then told them they didn't "qualify" to foster a child, acrdg to the crimal plat.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Bryn and Fatma are now platiffs a lawsu agast the feral ernment, fightg agast the discrimatn they faced. They’ve been entangled the legal system for three years. They’re beg reprented by Lambda Legal, which works to fend the civil rights of the LGBTQ+ muny. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">“We know this is discrimatn at s re,” explas Jamie Gliksberg, the lawyer reprentg the se. “It's known the LGBTQ+ muny, pecially a smaller regn of Texas like this, that, due to discrimatn, same-sex upl experience untls barriers to fosterg and adoptg children. As a rult, they often have to rort to more expensive optns orr to have children and grow their lovg fai."</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"><div class="sectn-ad"><span>Advertisement</span><div class="ad" data-ad-size="1280x90,970x90,970x250,728x90,300x250,10x10" data-ad-posn="J" data-slot-id="scrollable-full-width-scroll" data-targetg="{"sponsorship":null,"sectn_name":["edors-picks","gay-rights","lgbtq","pri-2020","queer-voic","wellns"],"llectns":[],"aggregatns":null,"entyid":9487744,"aid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pageid":"gay-upl-adoptn-ivf-st-beg-parents","pagetype":"Full-Width scrollable","tt":null,"is_sensive_ntent":false,"edn":"en-","utm_source":null,"utm_medium":null,"utm_ntent":null,"utm_mpaign":null,"vertil":"r29","document.referrer":"","ad_unt":15}" id="ad-sectn-ad-J"><span>ADVERTISEMENT</span></div></div></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">Other parti volved, cludg Catholic Chari Fort Worth and The Uned Stat Conference of Catholic Bishops, didn’t rpond to Refery29’s requt for ment. The Uned Stat Department of Health & Human Servic, The Office of Refugee Rettlement, and The Department of Jtice cled to ment on pendg ligatn.</div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-text-ntaer"><div class="sectn-text">The se is still ongog, but Fatma and Bryn have found a silver lg. After gog through IVF, the uple weled their dghter Azra to the world earlier this year. </div></div></div><div class="after-sectn-ntent"></div><div class="sectn-outer-ntaer"><div class="sectn-ntaer sectn-asset-ntaer full-width"><div class="sectn-divir"><div class="divir"><svg id="squiggly_grey" data-name="squiggly_grey" xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 500 9.18"><fs><style>.squiggly_grey{fill:none;stroke:#d5d5d5;stroke-lep:round;stroke-merlim:10;stroke-width:2px;}</style></fs><tle>DashDivirs_1_500x100 .