Is Your Man Gay, Straight, or Bisexual? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• DO YOU ACT GAY?
• HOW TO LEAD A HETEROSEXUAL LIFTYLE IF YOU ARE GAY
• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• HOW TO GET A MAN (FOR GAY MEN)
• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• THE SCIENCE OF GAYDAR

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight. There isn't any need to change yourself - beg gay is jt another way of simply existg, and there is nothg wrong wh at all.

Beg gay do not necsarily make you any ls mascule or feme, and there is no need or prsure to nform to stereotyp that don't feel right to you - bee you are who you are. The laws the Bible were maly for health purpos - shunng homosexualy is right next to not gettg tattoos, not eatg pork, and not wearg mixed lens, but you n bet your bottom dollar all your neighbors do those thgs. It is important to note that the Amerin Psychologil Associatn has clared that groups claimg to cure homosexualy are dangero and unhealthy.

If you are still beg supported by parents whom you are que sure would disown you for beg gay, may be pnt to wa to tell them until you are pennt. You may regret the acceptance of your orientatn the future, pecially if you're a part of the world where the gay muny is beg prosecuted by a specific culture.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

Article SummaryXIf you stggle wh acceptg your attractn to the same sex, know that beg gay is pletely normal and you n be proud of who you are by fdg support and embracg your dividualy. It’s also important to unrstand that you don’t need to nform to gay stereotyp or tl, as they are artificial social nstcts. When down to , there is no reliable "Am I Gay tt", so the only way to know that you are gay (fn of gay) is to look wh yourself to terme your own thoughts and feelgs towards others of the same sex.

Keep md that even if you have a sexual experience wh someone of the same genr or another genr, that don’t necsarily mean that you’re gay.

That means, for example, that you n be transgenr but also straight (for stance, you might intify as a woman and feel attracted to men) or gay (e. If you have had romantic experienc or fantasi volvg people who are the same genr as you, then there is a good chance you are gay or bisexual, but 's okay if you're a ltle nfed. 13Do you act silly and weird around your bt iend all the time you act funny and silly sometim You hate people who act silly and gay23Do you lgh and giggle alot Y all the time!!!!!!!!!

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn. A lot of the time the men e on their own and they’re holdg my book about g out as gay, and they want to know, “Is this me? And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay.

” I always joke wh clients that for me, as a gay man, when I’m walkg on the beach and checkg people out, the women are the way.

Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women. When a man is a long-term relatnship wh a woman but beg sexual wh men, eher lookg at porn or havg actual sex, he eher will or won’t be homophobic.

DO YOU ACT GAY?

The straight men have no homophobia at all—to the pot where they’re willg to seek unselg om me, an openly gay therapist. A lot of tim the gay men never even make to me (whout promptg om their wife, anyway) bee they’re riddled wh homophobia and I’m too gay for them. A gay guy wants to do all of that wh a man, a bisexual guy might want a man or a woman, and the straight guy wants to only be wh a woman that way.

HOW TO LEAD A HETEROSEXUAL LIFTYLE IF YOU ARE GAY

So this is a way of bondg wh men—ironilly, through sex—and happens not bee the man is gay but bee he don’t know any other way to get this need met. Eher they’re worried that their man will eventually ci he’s gay and end the relatnship, or they want monogamy, and his cheatg is a threat to the marriage regardls of who he’s dog wh. And I should pot out here that the men when they’re engagg this behavr (regardls of whether they’re gay, straight or bi) nearly always tell themselv that what they’re dog is not cheatg bee they’re dog wh a guy.

For example, his fay may be vlently homophobic and by cidg that he's gay, you may out him by accint by treatg him different or implyg somethg whout meang to. If you're tryg to figure out if your iend is gay bee you want to date him (as a woman), 's important to remember that jt bee he might be terted men don't mean he's not terted women. Although some people the gay culture may put on a certa voice or a way of speakg, your iend talkg a siar or "effemate" way is still not a very good way to judge.

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

Everyone n enjoy different thgs; jt like a woman might enjoy watchg football, guys n also enjoy thgs that are more monly associated wh women or the gay muny.

The movi he watch and the mic he listens to are also not fair methods to gge if he is straight or gayer than Elton John and Gee Takei put together. Sometim you might assume that jt bee a guy only hangs out wh girls or jt bee his bt iend also seems gay, then he might also be gay.

Subtly brg up subjects that show him that you're okay wh your iends beg gay and that he don't need to hi his nature around you.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

You n talk about another iend that is gay or even jt about someone hypothetilly g out if you don't know someone who's gay. Say somethg like, "You know you're stuck wh me as a iend no matter what, but I jt have to ask bee I don't want to make assumptns and e to the wrong nclns: are you gay?

Article SummaryXTo tell if your guy iend is gay, notice whether he refers to other guys as attractive, which uld be a sign that he’s gay.

HOW TO GET A MAN (FOR GAY MEN)

Some of the largt LGBTQ events clu Madrid Gay Pri, NYC Pri, the São Plo Gay Pri Para, and Sydney Gay and Lbian Mardi Gras. Volunteerg for an LGBTQ anizatn will allow you to meet other gay men that hold siar beliefs and have siar passns for activism.

Article SummaryXAs a gay man, n be a stggle to fd someone special, but you n up your chanc by puttg yourself out there and approachg guys you're terted .

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

Of urse, some intify as straight but are realy closeted bisexuals or gays by sexual orientatn—perhaps likely to e out at a later age (if ever).

In orr to have doubts about one’s sexual inty, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

If on the other hand they happen to be homosexual they may obss about the possibily that they might really be straight. ” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight).

THE SCIENCE OF GAYDAR

Let’s face , gay people have always been an opprsed mory wh our culture, and to sudnly thk of beg this posn, and to be stigmatized this way, n be ighteng. I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt. Lookg at attractive men or women, or pictur of them, or readg sexually oriented lerature or pornography (hetero- or homosexual), to see if they are sexually excg.

Compulsively reviewg and analyzg past teractns wh other men or women to see if they have acted like a gay or straight person. Readg articl on the ter about how an dividual n tell if they are gay or straight to see which group they might be most siar to. Tryg to not look or act effemately (if a man), or a mascule way (if a woman), (or vice versa if the sufferer is gay).