I’m Worried My Boyiend Is Gay - The Atlantic</tle><meta name="scriptn" ntent="He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay."/><meta property="kx:tle" ntent="I’m Worried My Boyiend Is Gay - The Atlantic"/><meta property="kx:scriptn" ntent="He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay."/><lk rel="nonil" href="><lk rel="image_src" href="><meta property="article:thor" ntent="><meta name="thor" ntent="Lori Gottlieb"/><lk rel="ia:markup_url" href="><meta property="article:publisher" ntent="><meta property="article:opn" ntent="false"/><meta property="article:ntent_tier" ntent="metered"/><meta property="article:tag" ntent="fay"/><meta property="article:sectn" ntent="Fay"/><meta property="article:published_time" ntent="2019-11-04T12:00:00Z"/><meta property="article:modified_time" ntent="2022-04-05T21:51:11Z"/><meta name="robots" ntent="x, follow, max-image-preview:large"/><meta property="og:tle" ntent="Dear Therapist: I’m Aaid My Boyiend’s Sexualy Will End Our Relatnship"/><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent="He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay."/><meta property="og:url" ntent="><meta property="og:type" ntent="article"/><meta property="og:image" ntent="><meta property="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image"/><lk rel="alternate" type="applitn/rss+xml" tle="The Atlantic" href="/feed/all/"/><lk rel="alternate" type="applitn/rss+xml" tle="Bt of The Atlantic" href="/feed/bt-of/"/><meta name="referrer" ntent="unsafe-url"/><meta name="apple-mobile-web-app-pable" ntent="y"/><meta name="apple-mobile-web-stat-bar-style" ntent="black"/><meta name="apple-mobile-web-app-tle" ntent="The Atlantic"/><meta name="keywords" ntent="heterosexual relatnship, timate relatnships, uple of months, sexual patibily, sex change, open relatnship, sexual inty, strong relatnship, boyiend’s sexualy, longtime monogamo uple, entire relatnship, medil advice, pot of the ial nversatns, lot of qutns, boyiend of a year, steppg stone, relig fay, sex partner , kd of uncertaty, Anonymo ChigoDear Anonymo, social benefs, sexual relatnship, relatnship, satisfyg relatnship, bunch of baggage, right reasons, people, crazy thoughts, nvenient tths, female partner, mutual cisn, datg app, profsnal medil advice, Dear Therapist, thoughts, mental-health, stance, parents, nversatn, man, qualy of your sex life, kids, person, letter, male timacy, medil ndn, huge leaps, Therapist, therapy, answer" emID="#keywords"/><meta name="news_keywords" ntent="heterosexual relatnship, timate relatnships, uple of months, sexual patibily, sex change, open relatnship, sexual inty, strong relatnship, boyiend’s sexualy, longtime monogamo uple, entire relatnship, medil advice, pot of the ial nversatns, lot of qutns, boyiend of a year, steppg stone, relig fay, sex partner , kd of uncertaty, Anonymo ChigoDear Anonymo, social benefs, sexual relatnship, relatnship, satisfyg relatnship, bunch of baggage, right reasons, people, crazy thoughts, nvenient tths, female partner, mutual cisn, datg app, profsnal medil advice, Dear Therapist, thoughts, mental-health, stance, parents, nversatn, man, qualy of your sex life, kids, person, letter, male timacy, medil ndn, huge leaps, Therapist, therapy, answer"/><meta name="" ntent="ar-therapist,fay,artherapist"/><meta name="" ntent="Lori Gottlieb"/><meta name="" ntent="2019-11-04T12:00:00Z"/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><script type="applitn/ld+json">{"@ntext":","@type":"NewsArticle","headle":"I’m Worried My Boyiend Is Gay","alternativeHeadle":"Dear Therapist: I’m Aaid My Boyiend’s Sexualy Will End Our Relatnship","scriptn":"He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay.","url":","datePublished":"2019-11-04T12:00:00Z","dateModified":"2022-04-05T21:51:11Z","isAccsibleForFree":false,"hasPart":{"@type":"WebPageElement","isAccsibleForFree":false,"cssSelector":".article-ntent-body"},"publisher":{"@id":"},"maEntyOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"},"image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":720},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":405},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1080},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1080},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1200},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":900},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1600},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":900},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":960},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":540},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":540},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":540},"url":"}],"thor":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Lori Gottlieb","sameAs":"}],"articleSectn":"Fay"}</script><lk rel="preload" as="image" href=" imageSrcSet=" 750w, 828w, 960w, 976w, 1952w" imageSiz="(m-width: 976px) 976px, 100vw"/><meta name="next-head-unt" ntent="62"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-g=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="><noscript data-n-css=""></noscript><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/></head><body><div id="__next"><div data-tegory="story page"><div></div><nav class="Nav_root___6bX9" aria-labelledby="se-navigatn" data-tegory="Se Nav" data-event-module="se nav" id="ma-navigatn"><div class="Nav_maNav__yofcm"><a href="#ma-ntent" class="Nav_skipLk__Evjjd">Skip to ntent</a><h2 id="se-navigatn" class="Nav_visuallyHi__AbSDF">Se Navigatn</h2><div class="Nav_flexContaer__Q3LKQ"><ul class="Nav_leftContaer__cPQgJ"><li class="Nav_navListItem__cEyWT Nav_visuallyHiOnMobile__hxCGG"><a href=" class="Nav_navLk__5SUAA"><svg xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 87.83 134" class="Nav_bigA__XvGGC"><tle>The Atlantic

my boyfriend thinks he's gay

Fdg out your partner is gay n turn your world upsi down and make you qutn everythg about your relatnship." emprop="scriptn

Contents:

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay. * my boyfriend thinks he's gay *

However, what I am ncerned about is that he is g me as a steppg stone to acknowledgg to himself that he is gay, or that he wants to be a heterosexual relatnship orr to reap the social benefs (havg kids, generally beg accepted society, etc. I’m worried bee (a) he’s never been wh a man before and beg wh me means he won't get that experience (assumg he don't cheat) and (b) he om an extremely relig fay the South who would likely not be able to accept his homosexualy (or even bisexualy).

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

Joe Kort, Ph.D., talks about his new book, "Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi?" * my boyfriend thinks he's gay *

I'm worried that we will spend years together, possibly get married, have kids, and then he will e to grips that he is fact actually gay. I have a very strong sneakg spicn that he’s bidg his time until his parents die or until he cis that he's gog to e out to them as I stay wh him and thk about a future, knowg full well that he uld tell me one day that he's actually gay and wants to be wh a man, or that he wants to transn, and leave me wh a bunch of baggage, such as gettg a divorce (sharg ctody of kids, fanc), and time/energy/effort lost? In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn.

This populatn is the foc of his new and much-need book: Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi? Number one is the high cince of male-female upl enterg my office bee the woman thks her man might be gay. More often than not, he’s not gay or even bi.

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

Is my hband gay? is an unthkable qutn to many wiv, and some hbands do turn out to be gay. Learn the signs of a gay hband. * my boyfriend thinks he's gay *

He’s actually straight, but for whatever reason, he’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been havg sex wh men.

MY BOYIEND THKS GOD HAT HIM BEE HE’S GAY!

* my boyfriend thinks he's gay *

A lot of the time the men e on their own and they’re holdg my book about g out as gay, and they want to know, “Is this me? Am I gay? And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your iend is gay. There are some important thgs that you have to unrstand about this suatn before gog forward, however. Someone's sexualy is highly plex and highly... * my boyfriend thinks he's gay *

That’s unual, bee most gay men, even most gay therapists, believe that if a guy is havg gay sex, he’s gay. So how do you terme if a man is or isn’t gay?

Most gay or bisexual men will say y. ” I always joke wh clients that for me, as a gay man, when I’m walkg on the beach and checkg people out, the women are the way. Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women.

Another thg that I look for is homophobia.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY

When a man is a long-term relatnship wh a woman but beg sexual wh men, eher lookg at porn or havg actual sex, he eher will or won’t be homophobic.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* MY BOYFRIEND THINKS HE'S GAY

Harriette Cole: My hband's habs make me thk he is gay .

TOP