LGBT Foundatn is a natnal chary liverg advice, support and rmatn servic to lbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBT) muni.
Contents:
- BUTCH, FEMME, OR STRAIGHT ACTG? PARTNER PREFERENC OF GAY MEN AND LBIANS
- IS GAY TO BE ATTRACTED TO TRAPS/FEMBOYS?
- GAY MEN DISCRIMATE AGAST FEME GAY MEN, NEW STUDY FDS
BUTCH, FEMME, OR STRAIGHT ACTG? PARTNER PREFERENC OF GAY MEN AND LBIANS
* gay but not fem *
Acrdg to The Trevor Project, a non-prof anizatn foced on suici preventn efforts among lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer, and qutng youth, there are a number of pronouns that n be ed:. That means a person of any genr n be attracted to someone who intifi as female or who exprs feme sexual orientatn terms such as “homosexualy” or “heterosexualy, ” gynosexualy do not specify the person’s own genr relatn to their sexual orientatn. It seems like every gay guy out there is a bottom, and when you thk you've met someone who's fely a He too is a bottom.
Gay men have tegori like femm or twks, bears, and straight-actg gay men — mascs as they are often lled today. I often thought (and have said) would have been better for me to live te to my genr variance if I had been ‘gay’ bee then I would f a socially accepted and promoted stereotype and my genr bendg would be expected— I unrstand there are problems, and assumptns wh that statement but my young thkg, I though that maybe beg gay would afford me some license wh a clearly fed inty where I uld be feme or drs and prent as a woman and nobody would thk ngo. To be clear, I am no way claimg would be easy to be gay this society, I’d have a whole other set of cultural bias and gntlets to overe but the thoughts were a large part of tryg to figure out where I f.
Had I been allowed and enuraged to exprs when I first experienced at age 2+ years when I began playg my mother’s makp, would have grown to an obssn or ever manifted as ternalised homophobia and transphobia wh me the way once did? Whereas straight is an accepted norm and nsired normal, to be gay or genr non-nformg is to be other than the norm, to be bent —viant.
IS GAY TO BE ATTRACTED TO TRAPS/FEMBOYS?
On average, gay men are somewhat feme and lbians somewhat mascule, but there is variatn wh each group. The thors examed the nsequenc of this variatn for gay men's and lbians' sirabily as romantic partners. In 2 studi the thors analyzed personal advertisements. Homos … * gay but not fem *
Through experience as a male wh a feme nscns, I learned that if I beg to exprs my genr variance outwardly, as I did for a time the androgyno 80s, people assumed I mt surely be gay. We even draw attentn om the sex we have no tert attractg, that’s how much society equat genr variance wh homosexualy, even gay people buy to .
I had an out gay iend the late 1980s and early 90s who refed to listen to me or rpect my sexual preference — I wore eyeler, long hair, nail lacquer and loved to accsorize. His ncln was that surely I mt be gay and he would not accept my self narrative and chid me for datg women and beg nial about my sexual preference. From their perspectiv, we’re eher perverted for donng tights and ocks or ‘gay but nial’ and they’re not gog to hch themselv to the former and your lucky if the latter gets you a ‘lets jt be iends.
’ As we’ve recently seen played out aga the news, even somethg as nocuo as the UK’s Prce Gee dog ballet or a celebry’s young son havg long hair is relentlsly shamed and mocked on social, wh mal like me, and ’s puzzlgly shockg to learn of ourselv, there is sometim a certa unrpng of homophobia hched TO transphobia our fear of g out. It is often eply ternalized as a misplaced rentment bee we somehow blame femely flamboyant gay men for havg exclive rights on male femy and that our het-femme experience is pletely mimized, rid and waved off as nial of our ‘te’ sexualy by those we hoped would be our alli. I strongly hold that beneath homophobia, and transphobia is a solid foundatn of misogyny, bee to many men — beg said to be like a woman is the ultimate sult.
GAY MEN DISCRIMATE AGAST FEME GAY MEN, NEW STUDY FDS
It’s not jt heterosexuals who believe this, eher; plenty of crossdrsers n tell you how difficult is to nvce a gay man that jt bee they like to wear drs don’t mean they don’t also like to date women. The belief that genr normative = heterosexual (and s verse, that genr variant = homosexual) is so tense that any man “who acts feme is immediately labeled a fag, and so fac the discrimatn gay men face, and likewise for any woman who is perceived as mascule.