The Complexy of ‘That's So Gay' | Psychology Today

Contents:

• "THAT'S SO GAY" IS JT SO WRONG
• THE TE MEANG BEHD “THAT’S SO GAY”
• THAT'S SO GAY
• ABOUT THE CENTERSCE 1983 THE CENTER HAS BEEN SUPPORTG, FOSTERG AND CELEBRATG THE LGBT MUNY OF NEW YORK CY. FD MORE RMATN ON AND OUR WORK ABOUT THE CENTER. VIS ABOUT THE CENTEROUR MISSNCYBER CENTERCENTER HISTORYRACE EQUYMEDIA CENTERLEARSHIP & STAFFEMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNICORPORATE PARTNERSHIPSANNUAL REPORTS & FANCIAL INFORMATNCONTACT USHOURS & LOTNSEMAPSUPPORT THE CENTER
• WHAT’S SO BAD ABOUT “THAT’S SO GAY”?
• THAT'S GAY
• GAY
• THE 'GAY' WORD: WHAT DO MEAN WHEN YOUNG PEOPLE E NEGATIVELY?
• GAY (HOMOSEXUAL) AND GAY (HAPPY)
• MEANG OF GAY ENGLISH
• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE GAY? DEFN AND MEANG OF GAY
• THE COMPLEXY OF ‘THAT'S SO GAY'
• COMMENTARY: WHY “THAT’S SO GAY” IS OKAY…OR NOT

"THAT'S SO GAY" IS JT SO WRONG

Yet the ial fdgs om my terviews wh 40 gay youth om four universi suggts a more plex picture, wh no clear agreement on what the phrase means or s effects. For them, gay had two distct meangs which they were able to distguish between – when refers to sexual inty and when refers, separately, to somethg beg “bbish”. I argued that straight men’s e of phras like “that’s so gay” uld only be unrstood by three key factors: first, the tent wh which was said; send, the social ntext (homophobic or otherwise); and third, the effect had.

But when is said settgs where sexual mori are out, proud and socially clud, and heterosexual men are iends wh their openly gay peers, tak on different meangs. Most of the young gay people my study felt “that’s so gay” would only be homophobic if was directed at a gay person, and wh negative tent. If young gay people are sayg that they do not experience the phrase “that’s so gay” as homophobic – and if they are even g the phrase themselv – then perhaps we should accept their arguments and ncentrate on other battl.

THE TE MEANG BEHD “THAT’S SO GAY”

If you ask them about , as some rearchers have, they often will sist that is not tend as homophobic language, jt a harmls phrase to exprs tratn or somethg siar. ” Later when the parents learned their children were gay, they apologized to them for sayg the thgs, but the damage was already done. But parents who are enough aware of language’s substrata n help by helpg their kids’ schools unrstand the value of practicg the same kd of zero tolerance for homophobic language that they do for racist or anti-Semic or bullyg language.

THAT'S SO GAY

Pri, formerly known as Gay Pri, is a regnn of LGBTQ inty, affirmatn of equal rights, and celebratn of visibily, digny, and diversy the LGBTQ muny. While the word homosexual is still ocsnally ed some ntexts, you might have noticed that don’t make an appearance any versn of the LGBTQ acronym. As our age note on the term stat, “up until 1973, homosexualy was listed The Diagnostic and Statistil Manual of Mental Disorrs (DSM), psychiatry’s standard reference on the classifitn of mental illns.

” In fact, the term homosexual was liberately rejected by early gay rights activists bee, acrdg to The New York Tim, “they did not want to be intified as exclively sexual begs. Gay, on the other hand, n be ed to scribe a person of any genr who experienc same-sex attractn, although is most often ed to scribe a man who is attracted to men. On June 28, 1969, the New York Cy police raid the Stonewall Inn, a bar equented by gay and genr-nonnformg people (at a time when terms like LGBTQ didn’t yet exist).

ABOUT THE CENTERSCE 1983 THE CENTER HAS BEEN SUPPORTG, FOSTERG AND CELEBRATG THE LGBT MUNY OF NEW YORK CY. FD MORE RMATN ON AND OUR WORK ABOUT THE CENTER. VIS ABOUT THE CENTEROUR MISSNCYBER CENTERCENTER HISTORYRACE EQUYMEDIA CENTERLEARSHIP & STAFFEMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNICORPORATE PARTNERSHIPSANNUAL REPORTS & FANCIAL INFORMATNCONTACT USHOURS & LOTNSEMAPSUPPORT THE CENTER

Queer lerally means “strange or odd om a nventnal viewpot, ” and by at least by the late 1800s, queer was ployed as a rogatory term for an effemate or gay man.

So, like, if ’s wh my iends and someone says “that’s so gay”; I know ’s a very different meang than a kid who jt tripped and another one said “that’s so gay”, you know what I mean? Vidisha Sharma: I agree wh what Sofia said about nnotatn; if ’s someone gay, like myself, and I make jok like “oh my god that’s so gay” or “hahaha I’m so gay”. : Also, ’s jt bee people thk ’s quirky to say , like, “cê é tão gay, s viado” and that kd of stuff; ’s bee ’s popular and a lot of people are sayg .

From the terviews, is evint that the people on the other end of “that’s so gay” are hurt and repulsed by the mon e of the phrase.

WHAT’S SO BAD ABOUT “THAT’S SO GAY”?

Some young adults might feel that is okay to e this phrase as a joke or an sult bee don’t affect them, and and feel that“long gone are the tim when gay people were opprsed”, but they are wrong.

In the news, ’s mon nowadays to see a child murred ld blood bee they told their parents they were gay, an example beg Anthony Avalos. This 10-year-old boy had e out as gay days before his murr and was found wh severe signs of physil harm cludg malnutrn, cigarette burns, and bis.

THAT'S GAY

Publicize your YouTube vio on Urban Dictnary jt 3 clicksThat's so gay1- Used by people as an adjective to scribe thgs that are retard, bad, unpleasent. Gregory-"Did you see that dumb PSA, 'Thats so gay' "Zach- "Yeah du, that's so gay"Gregory- "How gay is "Zach- "Gayer then AIDS"by omgJFD Augt 3, 2009FlagGet the That's so gay 's so gayA disrpectful way of showg dislike to somethg. Teen 2: That's so gayby Killtro22 June 6, 2019FlagGet the That's so gay your web se on Urban Dictnary jt 3 clicksThat's so gayThis is often ed by straight people who are gnorant to gays and don't really unrstand the meang of what they're sayg.

Advertise your Facebook post on Urban Dictnary jt 3 clicksThat’s so gayOften ed by middle school boys for thgs that fact, do not display any sign of homosexualyGuy1: did you see the news this morng? Guy 1: 8 People DIED last night CHADby Deprsed lbo November 2, 2019FlagGet the That’s so gay Gaynot nerily meang homosexual, gay n mean stupid or potls, even meek, lame or, du that band who did the remake of that Todo song was so fuckg gayby Allen January 12, 2004FlagGet the So Gay mug. (Note: Clarify any fns, and talk about why words like “that’s so gay, ” “gay, ” “fag, ” “sissy” or anythg else that me up are appropriate.

” You n also be creative wh , rporatg stori, illtratns or even ics to munite why “that’s so gay” is appropriate and how , as well as other typ of name-llg, n hurt others. Dad: “no, I have a wifeby V1NSAN1TY 123 October 15, 2019FlagGet the Gay means to be happyI'm so gay for youby Dildo dick face Febary 18, 2017FlagGet the Gay mug. Promote your Disrd server on Urban Dictnary jt 3 clicksgaygay means happy, read a fuckg booki’m feelg gayby briisdaddy21 May 28, 2019FlagGet the gay mug.

GAY

Advertise your Facebook post on Urban Dictnary jt 3 clicksGayDefn of gay is happyOdalys is so LimonLemon April 16, 2018FlagGet the Gay The word Gay Its meang is HappyDamn IdtsFriend 1: Hey you seem pretty gay today.

That same year, Pieters beme a natnal spokperson for AIDS awarens and gay polil activism after his historic terview wh televangelist Tammy Faye on her broadst, which fied the work's homophobic tennci. Rapoe, who is gay, is an outspoken advote for LGBTQ+ rights and was a lear the natnal team’s fight for genr equaly, which paid off last year when U.

Jenna Lyons, the first openly gay hoewife, and Jsel Taank, the first Indian hoewife, jo the diverse st tend to better reprent all of the different kds of New Yorkers. A word that origally meant happy and reee beme a ntral label to scribe homosexualy, and end up beg a term ed to ppot somethg people don’t like, fd embarrassg, or want to distance themselv do this mean that young people are more homophobic than ever before? “But ’s very hard for people who heard ‘gay’ as beg solely homophobic, like I did growg up, to see that n mean somethg different to a different generatn.

THE 'GAY' WORD: WHAT DO MEAN WHEN YOUNG PEOPLE E NEGATIVELY?

“The problem wh sayg ‘that’s so gay’ is that even though you and your iends might know you’re not beg homophobic, if you’re g a public or semi-public space, other people might see you as homophobic, ” he jt my stunt overdraft as my budget, I cid to make a documentary explorg how this piece of language had evolved, and speak to people both gay and straight to see how they felt aboutthe word takg on a negative gay people I spoke to were ntent wh the word evolvg, while there were straight people who were outraged.

GAY (HOMOSEXUAL) AND GAY (HAPPY)

Younger people, whom we might have expected to have more awarens of what means to intify as gay bee of media verage, were often the mographic fendg the negative e of this olr people I spoke to felt strongly that should not be allowed to be ed negatively. The language we e, nscly or subnscly, n reflect our feelgs towards “rgh, that’s gay” reveals a lack of llective unrstandg of what means to intify as gay. Equal marriage legislatn may suggt that society has advanced s thkg, but there remas a gap s grasp of gay inty, culture and the week leadg up to the premiere of my documentary, The Gay Word, s trailer was shown a London cema.

Staff noticed how the dience’s body language often shifted and beme awkward on jt seeg the word gay projected on Soho, I hand out stickers promotg the film and reactns were mixed.

One sendary school teacher told me staff often “turn a bld eye” to behavur that may be makg gay pupils feel unfortable at young people I met while makg this film told me that school is tough and not a place they n flourish. Tom Robson a Brish mician and sger, one of the first, if not the very first pop artist who did not disguise or hi his homosexualy om the general public.

MEANG OF GAY ENGLISH

Until then homosexual actors, micians, athlet or anyone the public eye had two choic life: to keep their homosexualy a secret, pecially om the media, or adopt the mannerisms and a of drs which were very mp but at the same time (ironilly) never admtg their sexual preferenc publicly.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE GAY? DEFN AND MEANG OF GAY

Tom Robson released a very succsful song entled (Sg if you're) Glad to be Gay, was the mid-70s, and I was still at a Catholic primary school when I remember que distctly hearg gay beg ed for the first time to unteract the BrEng rogatory terms such as: poofter, poof, queer, not normal, fairy and queen that were rife at the time. In the first verse, criciz the Brish police for raidg gay pubs for no reason at all, once homosexualy had been crimalized sce the 1967 Sexual Offenc Act.

In the send verse, pots to the hypocrisy of Gay News beg prosecuted for obsceny stead of porn magaz like magaz Playboy or the tabloid The Sun which publish photographs of topls girls on Page 3. It also criciz the way homosexual people are portrayed other parts of the prs, pecially nservative newspapers News of the World and Sunday Exprs.

For me, a young child livg London at the time, the term gay (meang homosexual and not "happy") was ed much more equently by the media and the general public after the release of "Glad to be Gay". It also helped that Tom Robson looked straight and was not the least mp, he did not f the stereotypil ia of how homosexuals looked and behaved. Homosexualy is still the rrect term clilly, but even though homosexualy is no longer nsired immoral, some people feel there are still negative overton to the word given s orig.

THE COMPLEXY OF ‘THAT'S SO GAY'

For example, a person may feel same-sex sexual attractn but not intify as "gay" whereas another person who behav sexually towards men and women may intify as "gay. Yet tors fd that when they reprimand young people for g this term, they often face an angry rebuttal om kids, who say, “I’m not homophobic, I’ve got gay iends. In my new book, The Declg Signifince of Homophobia, where I spent a year rearchg what means to be a guy school today, I found that the flt posn for straight male youth is to be supportive of gay rights, clive of gay peers and cril of homophobia.

COMMENTARY: WHY “THAT’S SO GAY” IS OKAY…OR NOT

After all, when I was at school, “that’s so gay” was said by stunts who also ed homophobic pejorativ and bullied stunts who were mp or feme.

But when is said settgs where sexual mori are open, out and proud, and heterosexual men are iends wh their openly gay peers, tak on different meangs. ” Such forms of banter strengthened the stunts’ iendship, and also appeared to expunge the negativy om e of the word—nsolidatg the dual meang of the word “gay. In The Declg Signifince of Homophobia, I velop a new mol for unrstandg this changg e of language, which highlights how the tent, effect, and environment wh which words are ed are vally important termg whether homophobia is prent or not.

When someone says “that’s so gay, ” we should also nsir discsg wh them why some people might fd offensive, the history of gay opprsn and the value of empathy. By engagg wh young people about this issue, we might even fd that we learn somethg about their creasgly posive attus toward homosexualy. I e equently, much to my straight iends’ nfn (and some of my gay iends’ dismay) several ocsns, people have lled me out on the age of “that’s so gay, ” cludg my own fay members.