For Father's Day, NPR spoke to three, gay sgle fathers who ma the choice to bee parents via surrogacy.
Contents:
- GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?
- MOMMI DEART: MOTHERS AND GAY SONS ON FILM
- FOR A MOM, LEARNG TO ACCEPT A GAY SON WAS 'NONNEGOTIABLE'
- PARENTG A GAY CHILD
- GRANDMA GIV BIRTH AT 61 SO HER GAY SON AND HIS HBAND N HAVE A BABY
- MOM'S GEICS COULD PRODUCE GAY SONS
- THREE SGLE, GAY DADS REFLECT ON FATHERHOOD, SURROGACY JOURNEYS
GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?
Today on Christian Post, Chuck Colson posted a lumn tled Born Gay A Parent s Gui which asserted that the way parents relate to their male children n create homosexualy Colson quoted extensively om Joseph and Lda Nilosi s book, A Parent s Gui to Preventg Homosexualy as support for the view that weak or distant fathers and smotherg mothers create gay mal Acrdg to Nilosi, gay mal suffered a genr wound childhood * single mother gay son *
Today on Christian Post, Chuck Colson posted a lumn tled “Born Gay?
A Parent’s Gui” which asserted that the way parents relate to their male children n create homosexualy.
Colson quoted extensively om Joseph and Lda Nilosi’s book, A Parent’s Gui to Preventg Homosexualy as support for the view that weak or distant fathers and smotherg mothers create gay mal. Acrdg to Nilosi, gay mal suffered a “genr wound” childhood and failed to intify properly wh their fathers. Somehow, however, the “prehomosexual male” be gay by fallg love wh what he once rejected – masculy – and seeks gay sex as a means to fd .
MOMMI DEART: MOTHERS AND GAY SONS ON FILM
My mother, and my (gay) self. * single mother gay son *
Instead of rporatg a mascule sense of self, the prehomosexual boy is dog jt the oppose -- rejectg his emergg malens and th velopg a fensive posn agast .
Acrdg to Nilosi and Colson, parents n take steps to prevent a gay oute. If a boy is gay, his father was not “both strong and rg” and the bond wh the mother was “unhealthy.
FOR A MOM, LEARNG TO ACCEPT A GAY SON WAS 'NONNEGOTIABLE'
Pat Robertson Suggts Teen Is Havg Gay Csh Bee He's Beg Raised By A Sgle Mom * single mother gay son *
In future broadsts, Colson promis to brg more rmatn “about what parents n do to lsen the chanc their children will grow up homosexual. In practice, if you believe the reports of men who say they are gay bee their fathers were distant, then you are bound to believe the reports of gay men who say they had close relatnships wh their fathers.
In that se, the theory fails as a general explanatn for homosexualy bee, as I illtrate below, there are numero gay men and their fathers who report histori of close bondg and mutual love. For stance, the odds of homosexualy creased slightly when divorced parents remarried, brgg two step-parents to the picture. However, the likelihood of homosexual orientatn actually creased where there was only one step-parent.
Practilly, such advice has ed nfn and pa among evangelil fai, where beg gay is a challenge socially and religly. I have worked wh parents who were near divorce over who ed their son to be gay. ” In that particular se, the father had actually spent more time nurturg his son durg the growg up years bee his job allowed him to work at my experience, many fathers and gay sons scribe close, lovg relatnships.
PARENTG A GAY CHILD
Philomena's heartbreakg story of a mother's search for her gay son puts md of some of our favore mother-gay son films. * single mother gay son *
For stance, one man scribed his relatnship wh his gay son this way ( alics):When my son was 18 months to 3 years old (and on to childhood), we enjoyed a wonrfully close relatnship. He wr ( alics)“The most important msage we n offer, ” Nilosi says, “is that there is no such thg as a ‘gay child’ or a ‘gay teen. ’…That is exactly the oppose msage we hear om gay activists who claim that people are “born gay” and that nfed teens ought to be enuraged to embrace homosexualy.
Homosexualy is not strongly related to geics but that do not mean that parentg is the only alternative non-geic factor. The jury is out wh much more rearch to be done, but what has been done on parentg do not spire nfince the claim that distant fathers and smotherg mothers create gay Throckmorton, PhD is an associate profsor of psychology at Grove Cy College and fellow for psychology and public policy wh the Center for Visn & Valu.
GRANDMA GIV BIRTH AT 61 SO HER GAY SON AND HIS HBAND N HAVE A BABY
The photos om Gay Sons and Mothers exemplify the posive impact mothers n have the liv of queer men. * single mother gay son *
Perhaps is not surprisg that mothers and their gay sons often scribe their relatnships as close. However, beg gay might be a factor that mak some mothers and sons even closer.
MOM'S GEICS COULD PRODUCE GAY SONS
When Connie Casey learned her adolcent son was gay, she blamed herself and sent him to nversn therapy for several years. But when Samuel, now 22, went away to llege, Connie says, she realized that " was time to take a look at everythg that I'd ever been tght to believe." * single mother gay son *
This was found to be te for many of the mothers and sons I terviewed for the study scribed the book: Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child (). Neverthels, this closens uld have a downsi, at least temporarily, as many mothers ially blame themselv and the close relatnships for their sons' homosexualy. So, perhaps is not pletely surprisg that once they learned their sons were gay, some of the mothers I terviewed felt that they had done somethg to damage them.
The fact is that I am the mother and I was told growg up that men bee gay bee their mothers are too motherg. For a long time, the psychiatric profsn blamed overly close maternal relatnships for g the "disease" of male homosexualy.
Even though rearch sce the 1950's has bunked , this theory persists people's mds and rears s ugly head for mothers when they ially learn their sons are gay.
THREE SGLE, GAY DADS REFLECT ON FATHERHOOD, SURROGACY JOURNEYS
Fortunately, for many mothers of gay son—wh time and tn, they learn that the ia that they had somehow ma their son gay is ad wrong This was te of the mothers my study who also me to see the benefs havg a gay son as will be scribed later this post. Homosexualy to Blame for Close Relatnships wh Mother? My rearch, clil and personal experienc suggt that there is ed a al lk between male homosexualy and a close maternal relatnship but flows the oppose directn than what was prevly thought.
In other words, havg a close relatnship wh your mother don't make you gay—beg gay mak you closer to your mother. The young gay mal this study relled sharg terts mon wh their mothers, such as fashn and okg, and were also sensive to their feelgs. ) aspect of the parent-child relatnship some gay fai.
As stated by Tariq, a 19-year-old Ain Amerin gay man:. I thk personally [beg gay] ma me a more emotnal person, more sensive, more touch wh both the male and female sis of myself, but allowg me to even acknowledge that other si ma me closer to my mother. Once mothers this study got over their feelgs of guilt and got ed to the ia that their sons were gay, they were able to regnize the benefs of havg a gay son.