Gay Men and Straight Men as Friends | Psychology Today

my straight gay friend

We check out sexy guys together but he firmly stat he's not gay. I don't know what to do about his mixed signals

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GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

Heterosexual and gay men n heal and grow as a rult of their iendships. * my straight gay friend *

This all got me thkg about my own iendships and those of my gay male clients. The bonds between gay men and straight women have been wrten about and featured popular media (i. Sex the Cy, Will and Grace), though a lot ls has been said about how gay and straight men regnize and negotiate the distct challeng, plitns, and rewards of their iendships.

AS A STRAIGHT MAN, HOW N I POLELY STOP MY GAY IEND FLIRTG WH ME?

* my straight gay friend *

Acrdg to Garfield, among the many obstacl to male-male platonic timacy, fear of homosexualy looms large. Straight men et that if they get too close, others will see them as gay; which their mds means feme (horrors! S., before there was such a thg as a gay inty, some straight men would, wh ltle shame, engage sexual ntact wh other men (ually allowg themselv to be fellated) when female partners were otherwise unavailable (see Gee Chncey’s semal book, Gay New York: Genr, Urban Culture, and the Makg of the Gay Male World 1890-1940) and there is good reason to believe this still occurs other untri and cultur.

The mid 20th century this behavr beme associated wh gay inty, new at the time and seen as crimal and then sick. As a rult of this behavr-inty lk, sexual ngrs between gay and straight men creased nsirably, or at least went unrground. Gay men have suffered physil, social, and psychologil abe at the hands of heterosexually intified mal who, thanks to homophobia and heterosexism, felt fully jtified flictg the terrors.

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

New rearch explor the benefs of iendship between gay and straight men. * my straight gay friend *

So 's no wonr hetero men would fear homosexualy and gay men particular. This legacy of vlence, both physil and psychologil, flicted by straight men toward those of who are gay naturally fuels our utn and distst at the thought of beiendg them. In his book, Garfield scrib the stiff hugs he would receive om a gay iend.

HOW TO HAVE A GAY FRIEND

Could gay guys be the ultimate wg men for their straight, male iends? * my straight gay friend *

As turns out, the gay iend worried that if he hugged too closely his iend would thk he was g on to him.

Few thgs n be a more soothg balm for gay guys than a close iendship wh a heterosexual man.

Is my „straight iend“ gay? I am gay. So on Thursday i was home, the heatwave was still ongog and i was bored. * my straight gay friend *

For the straight guy, iendship wh a gay man offers the opportuny to learn important lsons about masculy, male inty, sexual orientatn, and diversy. As the quote go: You n never have too many iends—and iendships between gay and straight guys n be healg and uniquely satisfyg for all volved.

So you're the same crappy boat as all people (gay, straight, or bi) who love someone that don't love them back. I always thought that was my flt that I was gay and that I was gog to my iendship wh her nstantly.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* MY STRAIGHT GAY FRIEND

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