'We're not hidg': Gay and lbian Rsians say a cultural shift is unrway

is it ok to be gay in russia

Rsia's World Cup volunteers have warned they will hunt down gay England fans and report them to police if they see them kissg public

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'WE'RE NOT HIDG': GAY AND LBIAN RSIANS SAY A CULTURAL SHIFT IS UNRWAY

Rsia's World Cup volunteers have warned they will hunt down gay England fans and report them to police if they see them kissg public * is it ok to be gay in russia *

Rsia's World Cup volunteers have warned they will hunt down gay England fans and report them to police if they see them kissg publicPublished: 9:00, 28 Jun 2018Updated: 9:02, 28 Jun 2018RUSSIA'S World Cup volunteers have warned they will hunt down gay England fans and report them to police if they see them kissg public. But what are the laws regardg homosexualy Rsia - and n same sex upl actually be prosecuted for beg openly affectnate?

Is homosexualy illegal Rsia? While 's not agast the law to be a gay relatnship Rsia, same sex marriag are illegal.

In an advisory issued jt this month, the State Department warned of “harassment,” among other thgs Rsia, and noted the extrajudicial killg of gay men Chechnya. * is it ok to be gay in russia *

LGBT rights groups say homophobic attacks have rocketed sce print Vladimir Put approved the ntroversial law outlawg the promotn of a gay liftyle to mors 2013. In 2017, dozens of gay men were reportedly taed and tortured Chechnya.

2 One volunteer group Rsia have warned gay fans uld be sent to policeCred: East2wt News. Although sexual activy between gay people was crimalised 1993, homosexual upl are not eligible for the legal protectns offered to heterosexuals Rsia.

Homosexualy was classified as a mental illns 1999.

Here are the towns where ’s dangero to be gay Rsia. A culture of silence and a law “agast propaganda” are keepg them that way. Русский * is it ok to be gay in russia *

Gay people are allowed to serve the ary, but there is an unofficial "Don't ask, don't tell policy".

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* IS IT OK TO BE GAY IN RUSSIA

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siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Maria Sokolova and Yana Mandryka." class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 SplScreenContentHearGrid-kFpOdh fLkIyA"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE iTuhkZ ptn SplScreenContentHearCaptn-iOfEOv ckLUKG"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnText-bHjzlu iUEiRd hWyo iXWezO ptn__text">Maria Sokolova and Yana Mandryka are partners wh different views of the experience of beg queer Rsia.</span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd iicloT jbIJNS ptn__cred">Photograph by Masha Demianova for The New Yorker</span></div></div></div></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN 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id="bookmark" aria-label="Save this story" class="ActnBarButton-dyFOZU cjjxgx bookmark mobile"><span class="ActnBarSendaryButtonPrimaryIn-isbvyN cAwccV bookmark-button-in"><svg class="in in-bookmark" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Save this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-fill" d="M20 23.9508L12.5 19.7312L5 23.9508V2.95081H14V3.93211H6V22.1845L12.5 18.5536L19 22.1845V8.83866H20V23.9508Z"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill" d="M23 3H20V0H19V3H16V4H19V7H20V4H23V3Z"></path></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd bkefvo gkccfO">Save this story</span></button></div></div></div><div class="LightboxWrapper-dxsWBV hhylRt"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG Uozmo"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg">In March, a member of the Rsian senate asked the prosecutor general to look to the issue of yoga pretrial tentn. Yoga class, anized on the remendatn of human-rights activists, had been offered to a limed number of mat sce September. But then Alexanr Dvork, a man who is nsired the untry’s preëment expert on cults, wrote a whe paper warng that yoga n lead to sexual aroal, which turn n lead to homosexual ntact between mat. Yelena Mizula, a parliament member who has proposed a variety of anti-gay bills the last seven years, immediately ntacted the prosecutor general’s office, and this past month, yoga class for tae were spend.</p><p class="paywall">I left Rsia wh my fay five and a half years ago. The parliament had jt voted unanimoly to ban what lled “propaganda of nontradnal sexual relatns” directed at mors and, on a separate day, adoptns by L.G.B.T. people. Mizula publicly pledged to create a mechanism for removg adopted and blogil children om the hom of same-sex upl. The untry was tumblg to some black hole of homosexual panic, and gettg out seemed to be the only sane optn.</p><p class="paywall">Even if the cisn to leave seemed evable to me—even if, like many émigrés, I need to believe that I had no other optn but to uproot my fay and n—most of my queer iends have stayed. I know many people whose suatns are substantially siar to me but for whom the choice wasn’t nearly so clear-cut. The are people wh the rourc, fancial and otherwise, to enter to the legally plited and often expensive procs of emigratn—they would be able to move more easily and smoothly than many of the <a href=">L.G.B.T. asylum seekers</a> I know the Uned Stat, who have had to start their liv anew wh next to nothg. Their relative affluence and social nnectns both make possible for them to rve a life for themselv Mosw and make them feel like they have a lot to lose by leavg.</p><p class="paywall">The cisn to emigrate is unlike other life cisns. It is a leap to the unknown; this, ’s like havg a first child, and n be like marriage. But, wh marriage or havg children, one n wns the liv of loved on who have already taken the leap. Even the Inter era, people who emigrate disappear om the daily liv of their iends and fai. They pursue liv a new language, form nnectns a new society, and shape reers a new amework, and the more they do this—the more they master the art of immigratn—the ls telligible their liv bee to those left behd. As life’s passag go, other words, emigratn is a b like ath.</p><p class="paywall">Most of the people I terviewed for this article have been talkg about emigratg for a long time. There was a pot, 2013–14—as Put’s polil crackdown tensified, the Kreml’s anti-gay mpaign revved up, Rsia vad Ukrae, and the Rsian enomy crashed—when all of them were lookg for ways to at least secure the optn of movg abroad: a send passport, a rince perm another untry. But durg the past five years or so, they have stayed a state of agile equilibrium, ready to leave but not leavg. One uple even returned after four years of livg abroad.</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">“There was one morng 2014 when Israel announced that same-sex upl uld now move there unr the Law of Return,” Na, who is thirty-eight, relled. Earlier that year, Na had got married to Katya, now thirty-five, Argenta. “We lled the Embassy that day. We were the first. We filed our applitn, I submted proof that my father was Jewish, and we waed.” The wa lasted more than a year. By the time the Embassy lled, Na was seven months pregnant. “They said they had good news and bad news. The good news was, I was eligible unr the Law of Return, and the bad news was, as a uple, we uldn’t apply through the Embassy. We had to enter the untry and apply there and wa, and the wa uld be anywhere om four months to five years.” Durg that perd, Katya wouldn’t have been able to work. Wh Na pregnant and planng to stay home wh the baby while she breast-fed, the uple cid to stay Mosw.</p><p class="paywall">Now Na, Katya, and their three-year-old dghter live on the first floor of an old apartment buildg central Mosw. It’s a funky, stylish space, wh pated-brick walls, exposed ceilg beams, and rough woon floors. I asked whether Na and Katya had renovated the apartment themselv when they bought , about three years ago. “It was all the old owner,” Na said. “I jt add the pull-up blds on the wdows. It was the first thg I did.” The signifince of addg the blds beme clear later our nversatn. “We haven’t kissed the street sce 2013,” when the Duma crimalized “propaganda of nontradnal sexual relatns,” Na said. “And we didn’t kiss the apartment until I put up the blds.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">A particular source of ncern is the head of the buildg owners’ associatn. He sounds like a qutsential Rsian state-televisn viewer. When a new bookstore opened on the block, he hypothized that mt be fund by Gee Soros ( wasn’t) and started anizg to have shut down. For fear of havg him fd out that they are a uple, the women have hired a nanny om the Philipp. (There is a nsirable number of Filipo migrants Mosw, many of them engaged domtic work.) “She don’t speak Rsian,” Katya explaed, “so she is not gog to hang out and chat wh other nanni on the block. For the same reason, we are not gog to send our dghter to the state prchool on the block—we are gog to a private prchool farther om the hoe.”</p><p class="paywall">Both women say that they assume that they will leave the untry eventually. “But not until Put barg to the apartment brandishg a Cossack whip,” Katya said.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p class="paywall">“But we have done everythg to sure that, if he do, we n keep the door locked and, the next morng, board an airplane,” Na add.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p class="paywall">By “Put brandishg a whip” the women actually mean social servic, which, some s, have attempted to remove children om same-sex hoeholds, argued urt that followg a divorce children should not rema the ctody of an L.G.B.T. parent, and prohibed visatn for L.G.B.T. parents. At the same time, Mizula’s plan for creatg a legal mechanism for removg children om same-sex hoeholds has not e to pass. “I watch all s of child removal very closely,” Katya said. “The most recent one volved a straight woman and her five kids, and I actually thought to myself, Heterosexuals get , too. There aren’t that many s where they’ve gone after gay parents. So our fears may be exaggerated. Still, we live anticipatn of the apolypse.”</p><p class="paywall">That anticipatn has phed the uple back the closet. This past year, after Katya read that vigilante gangs were trackg down gay people by followg them on social media, Katya qu all of her acunts and, she said, “forba Na” to be out publicly available posts. Na is out at her job as a televisn executive, but Katya, who is a high-powered tax attorney the Mosw office of a multatnal pany, is closeted at work. “The office is full of homophob,” she said. “It’s like livg Channel One.” She was referrg to one of the Rsian state’s ma propaganda channels, which nstantly spews homophobic rhetoric. Beg the closet means, among other thgs, that no one at work knows that Katya has a child. A few months ago, when their dghter had a medil emergency and Katya had to leave work the middle of the afternoon, she lied that somethg had happened to her mother. In her agatn, she fot about the lie and was ught off-guard when, upon her return, lleagu asked after her mother’s health and which hospal she had been taken to.</p><p class="paywall">One gets ed to self-enforced visibily; is jarrg when the world shows a different si. This past summer, the fay spent a month a Wtern European untry where Katya’s employer has a branch office. When Na stopped by the office wh their dghter, a lol lleague of Katya’s asked, “Is this your dghter?” She was addrsg both women as though two women raisg a child together were the ordary phenomenon is much of the world. “She had no ia what kd of gift she was givg ,” Katya said. “When we leave Rsia, we relearn the hab of holdg hands public.” But fear is a hab that lodg self one’s bra. “I was watchg ‘13 Reasons Why,’ ” Katya said, referrg to a televisn seri that featur a uple of gay teen-age characters. “I keep thkg that they are about to get beaten up. But nothg happens.”</p><p class="paywall">The more we talked, the starker the women’s statements beme. “All you want is for your kid to be able to n around the urtyard and feel fortable,” Katya said. “You jt want to hold this person’s hand. You have the right to live and breathe. But you are told that you n breathe only through a straw.”</p><p class="paywall">Why haven’t they left yet, then? “It’s hard to be a refugee,” Na said. “I say this as someone who has been workg wh refuge sce the age of seventeen, as a volunteer.” (As a teen-ager, Na found a school for refugee children Mosw.)</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">“In my field, I’d have to scend three ngs down the reer ladr,” Katya add. “And ’s sry to go to uncertaty. There is really only one reason: ’s sry.”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Mara and Lyuda (not their real nam) are a uple their early forti who are raisg two children, a boy and a girl, on the same block where Na and Katya live. Their children’s father, Peter (not his real name), a gay man, liv the same apartment buildg as they do. Lotn is important: central Mosw is more smopolan and more tolerant than the rt of the cy, and the prence of another lbian fay nearby provis a sense of fort. “We feel safe bee we live the [cy] center, we have a supportive social circle, and we have money,” Mara said. “It’s hard for me to image what life is like for people who are missg at least one of the three ponents.”</p><p class="paywall">Lotn, nnectns, and wealth allow the fay to live what they themselv scribe as a bubble. They are out at their son’s private prchool, and they seek health re only at private clics. Still, bee Lyuda is the children’s birth mother, she has to be prent anytime they are seen by a doctor, even though Mara is the one who keeps track of immunizatns and other health issu. It’s Mara’s visibily as a parent that weighs on the uple most heavily.</p><p class="paywall">“Everyone knows that Peter has children,” Mara said. “But I don’t have children. I don’t have children as far as my lleagu are ncerned, and my extend fay, and the playground. As soon as other parents hear the child addrs me by my name, they lose tert talkg to me bee they assume that I’m the nanny.”</p><p class="paywall">“Peter gets pliments the playground all the time,” Lyuda add. “People say to him, ‘Your boy is so tellectually veloped.’ This is mostly Mara’s dog—she is the one who reads to him—but she will never hear that kd of pliment. She believ that she don’t re what other people thk. But that’s never te.”</p><p class="paywall">The uple have nsired and rejected the ia of leavg the untry. Simply movg, the way a lot of well-off Rsians have, is not an optn: Latvia, which grants E.U.-rint stat to people who vt more than two hundred and fifty thoand ros property there (and where a lot of Rsians have tablished rincy the last five years), don’t regnize same-sex marriage, so Mara and Lyuda uldn’t move as a fay; Spa, another popular statn, requir too large an vtment.</p><p class="paywall">“Also, we don’t want to leave,” Lyuda said. “We like here. And we know how to live here. We know whom to ll, we know where we have nnectns, we know whom to pay, if need be.”</p><p class="paywall">“We are jt too fortable livg here,” Mara add. “Sure, outsi realy is very unpleasant. But you don’t thk about that every day—you thk about once a week, when you see your psychotherapist.” Mara started seeg a therapist a few months ago, as a last rort; she had had an csant, sometim bilatg ugh for seven years, and no physician uld diagnose her. It appears that her ugh was a physil reactn to livg a bubble that’s also a closet: once she started talkg about herself on a weekly basis, went away.</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Yana Mandryka, who is forty-one, has ltle patience for talk of how difficult is to be queer Rsia. She me out publicly a magaze terview, six years ago—this was her g out to her fay, the staff of her real-tate firm, and her clients. The terview appeared a <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">special issue</a> of <em>Afisha</em>, a cy magaze: twenty-seven L.G.B.T. people me out that issue, rponse to the “propaganda” law then pendg the Duma. Many of those people have sce left the untry, and, of those who stayed, few agreed to speak to a journalist when another publitn, <em>Wonrze</em>, ran an <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">anniversary update</a> late last year. Mandryka agreed both to be terviewed and photographed for .</p><p class="paywall">She is now raisg an fant son wh her partner, Maria Sokolova, who also has a six-year-old dghter om a prev marriage to a man. The father of the fant is a gay iend. Recently, when the baby had to be hospalized, Mandryka said, doctors and nurs were at first taken aback by the prence of three adults, but soon me to accept them as a fay; when Mandryka and Sokolova stayed wh their son shifts, they would say, “Here is the other mom.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">Sokolova, who is thirty-two, had a different view of that experience. She rented beg troduced to doctors as a iend while their iend was troduced as the father.</p><p class="paywall">“That’s bee, the ey of the law, you are not my partner and you are not the other parent,” Mandryka, who was ted as a lawyer, said.</p><p class="paywall">“That’s jt my pot,” Sokolova said. “That such is the law this untry.”</p><le-embed name="feature-flt" attrs="[object Object]" childTyp="image" ntentType="llout:feature-flt"><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO KhjZz AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset rponsive-image rponsive-image--expandable"><noscript><img alt="Kids' toys on the floor." class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE iTuhkZ ptn AssetEmbedCaptn-fNQBPI fmQnYP asset-embed__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnText-bHjzlu iUEiRd hWyo iXWezO ptn__text">Kids’ toys on the floor Yana Mandryka and Maria Sokolova’s central Mosw apartment.</span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd iicloT jbIJNS ptn__cred">Photograph by Masha Demianova for The New Yorker</span></div></figure></le-embed><p class="paywall">Thgs got more heated after that. Mandryka argued for realism. Sokolova argued for prcipl, and for emigratg. I worried that the terview was gog to break the uple up, but they later reassured me that passnate argument was their normal mo of munitn.</p><p class="paywall">When the women met, a ltle more than a year ago, Mandryka utned her new girliend agast tellg her toddler dghter too much: “It has to be palatable the outsi world,” Mandryka said. Sokolova fds such thkg abhorrent. “If this is a untry where my ex-hband n take ctody away om me bee of my sexual orientatn, then this probably isn’t a very good untry for me to live ,” she said to me. “I’m lucky that he is more talk than actn.” Not that he talks much, eher: Sokolova said that her ex-hband temporarily cut off munitn wh their dghter bee she is now beg raised by two women.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR daRVRt persistent-asi" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="c5mgm"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="z1unv"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p class="paywall">Mandryka enjoys a peculiar perspective on emigratn: she often sells the apartments of people who are leavg, but she also helps those who are stayg vt real tate. “In 2013–14, I was sellg a lot of apartments of people who were leavg the untry, mostly gog to the Wt,” she said. “Three or four years ago, I was planng to leave myself, bee so many people were leavg. I had the sense that everythg was gog to llapse. Now people are buyg more, though I tell them, ‘Buy only if you really see your future here.’ ” Mandryka and Sokolova live a betiful rental apartment central Mosw; Mandryka will not buy Mosw bee she is hardly mted to a future Rsia. Nor will she leave: the money is good, and she feels fortable enough the untry.</p><p class="paywall">“If I don’t feel threatened, then why should I leave?” she said. “On the other hand, what is a threat? Is when I’m arrted, or is when I’m warned that I might be arrted? And will there be a warng? Recently, there has been a spate of arrts of entreprenrs—was that a warng that I personally should heed?”</p><p class="paywall">Until, as Katya and Na would say, Put barg brandishg a Cossack whip, all threats seem vague and remote. The loss that emigratn would impose, on the other hand, are immediate and certa: an émigré sacrific her social standg, fancial well-beg, and an all-important and impossible-to-fe sense of beg at home the world.</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Pola and Kseniya found that they were jt too miserable as émigrés. They left Mosw 2014. At that pot, they had known each other for more than ten years and, for most of that time, had had a tortured, unfed relatnship: Kseniya intified as a lbian and Pola didn’t. But when Pola, who worked at the pennt televisn channel TV Ra, felt that she had to flee the untry bee of the broad polil crackdown, Kseniya said that she would go wh her. They chose to seek rincy France bee Kseniya spoke French. They chose Provence bee was ls expensive than Paris. They chose Marseill bee Pola’s teen-age children om her first, heterosexual marriage wanted to live a cy. They hated . “We left our fort zone and entered an entirely alien world,” Kseniya said. They didn’t have the right to seek employment France, so they worked remotely for Rsian pani. Their attempts to make iends fizzled out. They had the harst time navigatg the French burecracy, om sortg out child re and health re to their legal stat.</p><p class="paywall">Last year, though, they got married. “I fally gave myself permissn,” Pola said. Their parents, all four of whom live St. Petersburg, have bee close iends and travel buddi. Each of the women has given birth to a baby. This past October, they moved back to Mosw.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-4 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">Before they returned permanently, Pola flew back to Mosw to unrgo a medil procre. She put down Kseniya as her emergency ntact, and the take person asked her what their relatnship was.</p><p class="paywall">“I say, ‘Wife.’ She says, ‘Who?’ I say, ‘Wife.’ She says, ‘I’ll jt put down “iend.” ’ ”</p><p class="paywall">Pola lghed at the memory. It sound like now that she had bee fortable wh her own sexualy, other people’s disfort wh rolled off her easily.</p><p class="paywall">Sometim other people n even surprise you. In April, the prosecutor’s office reviewed the plat about yoga pretrial tentn and nclud that was basels. Yoga class were slated to rume. My queer Rsian iends, reassured that the untry was still circlg the abyss rather than jumpg , uld ntue to live their state of agile equilibrium. Me, I uld wake up New York and breathe a sigh of relief at never aga havg to worry that someone saw me kissg a woman or that the state might not thk my kids should have two mothers. Is that relief worth more than the sense of home? That’s an impossible qutn to answer, and an excciatg choice to make.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="w96ial"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="ContributorsWrapper-eNpWFu GWFsc ntributors" data-ttid="Contributors"><div class="ContributorBWrapper-bnVHbt gMon"><div class="ContributorBAvatar-bIGTqf eMWbvj"><a href="/ntributors/masha-gsen"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span></a></div><div class="ContributorBContent-ubQdr jZTSSi"><div class="ContributorBHear-ledood XOIEx"></div><div class="ContributorBB-fBolsO giFhKz"><a href="/ntributors/masha-gsen">Masha Gsen</a> beme a staff wrer at The New Yorker 2017. Their latt book is “<a href=">Survivg Autocracy</a>.”</div><div class="ContributorBFooter-brqDlv ezUmSv"></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div data-ttid="TagCloudWrapper" class="TagCloudWrapper-gGgndx ctyZyK ContentFooterTagCloud-krQmRG ZLGh"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudSectnHear-cOforY iUEiRd bPyAoD kQQRmu">More:</span><a href="/tag/gay-rights" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd ggMZaT gFob hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd gwIVBQ bUkXwu">Gay Rights</span></a><a href="/tag/lgbt" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd ggMZaT gFob hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd gwIVBQ bUkXwu">L.G.B.T.</span></a><a href="/tag/ssia" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd ggMZaT gFob hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd gwIVBQ bUkXwu">Rsia</span></a><a href="/tag/mosw" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd ggMZaT gFob hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd gwIVBQ bUkXwu">Mosw</span></a><a href="/tag/emigratn" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd ggMZaT gFob hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd gwIVBQ bUkXwu">Emigratn</span></a></div></div></div></div><div data-ttid="ContentFooterBottom" class="ContentFooterBottom-jwWZfC kcbyiW"><div class="ContentFooterNewsletterContentWrapper-bmjtna kixtae"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div data-ttid="NewsletterSubscribeFormWrapper" class="NewsletterSubscribeFormWrapper-fCqqkN jKSBhE newsletter-subscribe-form ContentFooterNewsletterForm-hKeYwa liPqcf"><div data-ttid="NewsletterSubscribeFormHedDekWrapper" class="NewsletterSubscribeFormHedDekWrapper-fpMElW eglIBL"><h3 class="NewsletterSubscribeFormDangeroHed-kRwWjt kbxOa-D newsletter-subscribe-form__hed ContentFooterNewsletterForm-hKeYwa liPqcf">Daily</h3><div class="NewsletterSubscribeFormDek-kXonvc cKOhTM newsletter-subscribe-form__k">The bt of <i>The New Yorker</i> today, cludg sential reads, fictn, humor, and a peek behd the scen of our biggt stori.</div></div><div data-ttid="NewsletterSubscribeFormInputsWrapper" class="NewsletterSubscribeFormInputsWrapper-keARJE hVWbzr"><form class="form-wh-validatn NewsletterSubscribeFormValidatn-iCYa-Dt dweEln" id="newsletter" name="newsletter" novalidate="" method="POST"><span class="TextFieldWrapper-Pzdqp hNhevp text-field" data-ttid="TextFieldWrapper__email"><label class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TextFieldLabel-klrYvg iUEiRd stdEm fvoOvz text-field__label text-field__label--sgle-le" for="newsletter-text-field-email" data-ttid="TextFieldLabel__email"><div class="TextFieldLabelText-cvvxBl eeDYTb">E-mail addrs</div><div class="TextFieldInputContaer-jcMPhb oFrOs"><put type="email" aria-scribedby="privacy-text" aria-valid="false" id="newsletter-text-field-email" required="" name="email" placeholr="E-mail addrs" class="BaseInput-fAzTdK TextFieldControlInput-eFUxkf eGzzTT lglhcT text-field__ntrol text-field__ntrol--put" data-ttid="TextFieldInput__email"/></div></label><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv dwpimO button button--utily TextFieldButton-csBrgY edxbrw" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" type="subm"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN hzwRuG button__label">Sign up</span></button></span><div id="privacy-text" tabx="-1" class="NewsletterSubscribeFormDisclaimer-bTVtiV bsgLJZ"><span><p>By signg up, you agree to our <a href=" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">User Agreement</a> and <a href=" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Privacy Policy & Cookie Statement</a>. 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class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl bcywvc summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Our Columnists</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/news/our-lumnists/the-persistent-ghost-of-ayn-rand-the-forebear-of-zombie-neoliberalism" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Persistent Ghost of Ayn Rand, the Forebear of Zombie Neoliberalism</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/news/our-lumnists/the-persistent-ghost-of-ayn-rand-the-forebear-of-zombie-neoliberalism" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Persistent Ghost of Ayn Rand, the Forebear of Zombie Neoliberalism" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">A new book about the “Atlas Shgged” thor unpacks Rand’s fluence on our current polil moment.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Masha Gsen</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff kHfIxy summary-em summary-em--article summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm kdEfwY" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/news/our-lumnists/what-hbos-chernobyl-got-right-and-what--got-terribly-wrong" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="What HBO’s “Chernobyl” Got Right, and What It Got Terribly Wrong" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl bcywvc summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Our Columnists</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/news/our-lumnists/what-hbos-chernobyl-got-right-and-what--got-terribly-wrong" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">What HBO’s “Chernobyl” Got Right, and What It Got Terribly Wrong</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/news/our-lumnists/what-hbos-chernobyl-got-right-and-what--got-terribly-wrong" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="What HBO’s “Chernobyl” Got Right, and What It Got Terribly Wrong" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">The show’s creators image nontatn where was unthkable—and, dog so, they cross the le om njurg a fictn to creatg a lie.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Masha Gsen</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff kHfIxy summary-em summary-em--evio summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only 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srcSet=" 480w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Put, Rsia, and Tmp" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl bcywvc summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fsJGML summary-em__bric summary-em__seri-lk"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fgWnkQ bric__lk" href="/vio/seri/the-new-yorker-terview"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">The New Yorker Interview wh David Remnick</span></a></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Put, Rsia, and Tmp</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL 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