What to Do When Your Child Says: "I'm Gay" | Psychology Today

Contents:

• THIS IS HOW I FELT WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY
• “I JT FOUND OUT THAT MY SON IS GAY”
• DAD ACCINTALLY DISVERS HIS TEENAGE SON IS GAY, CONSULTS REDD ON HOW TO RPOND
• THIS IS HOW I REALLY REACTED WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY
• MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
• HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SON IS GAY
• YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?
• KEEPG THE FAH, AND LOVG YOUR GAY SON
• WHEN YOU FD OUT YOUR CHILD IS GAY
• MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?
• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

THIS IS HOW I FELT WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY

As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart. I had spected at tim that he was gay. Had I asked him if he were gay when he was 13, he probably would have fensively said "No!

“I JT FOUND OUT THAT MY SON IS GAY”

San Berland, the mother of a gay son who ach parents of LGBTQ kids, utn, "It's not a good ia to ask.

Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this. Mol acceptance by not g gay slurs and never tellg gay jok. Watch gay-themed shows together such as "The Fosters" and "Will and Grace.

DAD ACCINTALLY DISVERS HIS TEENAGE SON IS GAY, CONSULTS REDD ON HOW TO RPOND

" How do they pict gay people? React kdly to gay people the news or on televisn. In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay.

If you’d like to jo the Fom, drop a le at do feel like to fd out that your son is gay?

THIS IS HOW I REALLY REACTED WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY

So my 19-year-old son told me he is gay last night. He don’t “act gay, ” but ’s not a huge leap to image him beg still put me to shock. ”“Don’t get stuck on thkg about the mechanics of gay sex.

Bee I’m obvly the person who is gog to have trouble unrstandg that he’s gay. “I Jt Found Out That My Son is Gay”Updated 2/11/22Although gay and lbian dividuals ntue to fd more and more acceptance our society, g out n still be dntg. Then there are also parents who have moral ncerns that are based their own relig matter how much fear is there, you n’t make a gay child change their orientatn.

It’s important to unrstand that HIV isn’t a certaty for gay men and for men who are HIV posive, there are meditns now that are able to ntrol the vis self. Although there are challeng for gay men, there are plac of acceptance and belongg that gay men are jt a uple of ncerns that parents have, but myth-btg n help you feel more secure wh this are also several unknowns for fai when someone out. When this is acknowledged, the parent n work on gag a better unrstandg and seekg out their own ’s important that parents have their own feelgs, take rponsibily for how they feel and have plac to be open and ’s much easier for a young gay adult to hear om their parent that “I am tryg to unrstand, but this is my issue, and I am workg through ”, then hearg that they “ma” the parent sad or hurt.

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

First, my wife will be unhappy to learn our son is gay. For help alg wh all this, ntact PFLAG, which giv valuable support to parents wh gay children. They immediately clocked as gay, while we immediately clocked them as we warmed up to another, one mom anxly said: "I have a qutn: I am pretty sure my son is gay, but I don't know what to do.

HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY

"For example, if someone the word "gay" place of "stupid, " remd them that the two are not terchangeable, and suggt they should say what they actually mean stead.

"The rourc n help:PFLAG: The untry’s largt anizatn ung parents, fai, and alli wh people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and Spectm: Offers groups, trag, and rourc promotg genr sensivy and cln for all youthGLBT Natnal Rource Database: LGBTQ+ digal directory of rourcNatnal Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network: Directory of therapists/unselors who are people of lorNatnal LGBTQ Task Force: The progrsive advocy arm of the LGBTQ+ movementDurg LGBTQ Pri Month, TODAY is sharg the muny’s history, pa, joy and what’s next for the movement.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SON IS GAY

So when a 38-year-old sgle dad accintally saw that his 13-year-old son had been lookg up thgs along the l of "I'm gay, what now, " he was nflicted. The fellas at r/askgaybros were happy to share their put. Another suggted the dad let his son "e to you wh this, " suggtg t he meantime, he start beg discretely supportive of LGBT matters, by "[makg] a posive remark when gay marriage is discsed on tv, pliment(ig) a show for their clivens of LGBT characters, etc.

In an update posted to Redd a few days later, he explaed that he "started off wh talkg about general media wh [his son], " like "how awome was that Tim Cook (CEO of Apple) me out as beg gay... That night, after a few sends of silence, the son told his father, "I'm gay. “I’m gay.

I have had gay iends (and been eply hurt and disappoted when beme obv. He never wanted to be gay.

YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?

To iends of me who may have gay children, or be gay themselv, please five me for my ignorance. I don’t know if I’ll ever be “okay” wh the gay liftyle, but right now, I am okay wh my son beg gay, and right now, that is all that matters.

What would you do if your child told you they were gay? ” Fally, Amanda buried her head her pillow and said, “I’m gay. A new study nducted by rearchers at Gee Washgton Universy found that most parents of lbian, gay, and bisexual youth have difficulty adjtg after their kids e study says is one of the first to systematilly exame the experience of parents raisg lbian, gay and bisexual children.

”The study found that Ain Amerin and Lato parents have a harr time acceptg their lbian, gay and bisexual children, as do the parents of children who e out at a later study, which surveyed a much larger sample size than prev studi, nfirmed smaller studi that showed parents’ negative reactns tend to ease over time; the first two years are the harst for were no signifint differenc reactns between mother and father, the age of the parent, or the genr of the child. The study did not exame the reactns for the parents of transgenr general, acceptance seems to be growg rapidly for lbian, gay and bisexual youth. There’s a lot of kids my school who are gay.

KEEPG THE FAH, AND LOVG YOUR GAY SON

My brother picked up the word for "gay" – a word my dad repeated several tim durg that that pot, my parents had told they had problems their marriage, but a few months later, when I was around ne years old, we still went on our annual fay summer holiday to France. Until, out of nowhere, my brother sudnly asked, "Dad, are you gay?

"There aren't a lot of gay people out there wh a wife and children, " he told me.

WHEN YOU FD OUT YOUR CHILD IS GAY

I once tagged along wh him to his favoure gay bar, where I met all the iends he's ma there over the years. There's a new Android app out (here's the English versn) lled "Is My Son Gay? ") that will tell you if, fact, your son is a gay person.

MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?

So below I've provid a better list of ways to tell if your son is a gay person who is you e home om work and you hear nois upstairs and you go up to vtigate and your son's door is open and you tch him "hookg up" (as kids ll today) wh his iend Michael, and you quickly turn around and walk back downstairs and later that night over dner you say "You know, honey, if there's ever anythg you need to tell me...

" and he says "Mom, I'm gay, " then your son is your son has recently gone to llege and hasn't been touch much and you figure hey he's new to llege, he's by makg iends and whatnot, and then late one night he lls you on the phone soundg upset about somethg and you ask him what's wrong and he's quiet for a while and then says "Nothg's wrong, really, I'm jt... Dad, I'm gay, " then your son is your son ever been on a long drive to one of your dghter's swim meets wh you and when stopped at a red light he's turned to you and said "Mom, I feel like I owe to you and dad to tell you that, well, Donald is my boyiend.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

I'm gay"? Then your son is probably gay.

Chanc are that if you are on your athbed and your tranged son to vis you the middle of a ray night and he ss by your bed quietly until he begs to cry and clutch your hand and says "I wish I'd told you sooner that I'm gay" and then you both stay there silence, you pretendg to be asleep, the only noise the beepg of the mach that will only keep you alive for a ltle while longer, your son is you and your spoe are ever visg your son the big cy he now liv wh all his fancy iends and fancy rtrants and you're out to an awkward lunch before your tra home and you three get to another potls fight about years-old stuff and 's really unfortable and fally you or your spoe says "Well, if you'd jt settle down wh the right girl, I thk-" and then your son terpts you by yellg "Guys, I'm GAY. Gay gay gay, gay as gay gets.