How do queer men navigate an stutn not signed for them? Therapist Michael Dale Kimmel offers clu his new book, The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage. Check out an exclive excerpt below.
Contents:
- HOW TO HAVE A GAY OR LBIAN RELATNSHIP
- A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE
- GAY MALE COUPL: SEXUALLY OPEN OR CLOSED?
HOW TO HAVE A GAY OR LBIAN RELATNSHIP
Enterg to a gay relatnship is much the same as enterg to any relatnship. Two people meet and get to know each other. Some thgs never change, even if the partners are of the same genr. Date first. More than once. A mon... * how to have a gay open relationship *
It's not enough that both of you are gay. How do you know if you’re gay? Don't leave your partner twistg the wd - particularly if you're not out, and 's a member of your fay makg a gay joke or sultg gays.
If any such issue aris at your place of work, there may be anizatns is the area that you n ntact for advice, such as the Gay/Lbian Center or GLAAD (Gay/Lbian Alliance Agast Defamatn) the Uned Stat. for gay upl?
Why Choose The Gay Therapy Center? I had the opportuny to talk wh psychotherapist and thor Michael Dale Kimmel about his new book, The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage.
A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE
Lookg for support wh gay open relatnships or monogamy? Our LGBTQ therapists are nonjudgmental about whatever relatnship stcture you choose. * how to have a gay open relationship *
MOC: Tell me about The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage. MDK: I began offerg workshops for gay, bisexual, and transgenr men about eighteen years’ ago, and after a uple of years there were always a few guys who me up to me and said ( whispered ton), “You’ve got to put this stuff a book.
While there are lots of books about how to plan your gay weddg, there were virtually none that addrs what to do after the honeymoon is over (lerally and figuratively). ” — regard to gay marriage — to be ntroversial.
The Gay Man’s Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage dar to ask the qutn: is monogamy or an open relatnship (or a batn of both) the bt way to stcture your marriage? Same-sex marriage has been a long time g – a few thoand years or so - and now that ’s fally here, many gay, bisexual and transgenr men may thk that ’s a bad ia to “rock the boat” by discsg the kds of ias that this book prents.
GAY MALE COUPL: SEXUALLY OPEN OR CLOSED?
A nversatn about open and monogamo marriage, for gay men and for all. * how to have a gay open relationship *
I believe that now is the perfect time to qutn what gay marriage n, should and will be, while is still relatively new, h and malleable.
MDK: I have been givg workshops on “monogamy or open relatnship” for many years, long before gay marriage was legal. While marriage wasn’t a possibily then, the qutns those workshops were basilly the same as those this book: as gay men, do we choose the monogamy of heterosexual marriage as our mol, or do we prefer an open marriage? And yet, most gay marriag emulate whout much thought, assumg that ’s the “right” way to be married.
As a psychotherapist for gay upl for many years’ now, ’s been que clear to me that “handbooks” for heterosexual marriage don’t really apply to our marriag several signifint ways: our marriag are more “signed” than “assumed. As gay men, we are ed to fg our own paths and fg our relatnships on our own terms. And yet, when I work wh young gay (and bi, straight and trans) men, I see a sea change ahead.
* how to have a gay open relationship *
I wrote the chapter about “refg genr rol, " bee we have an amazg opportuny as married gay men to terme who we are as two men, married to each other. MDK: As gay people, we n create new stctur and paradigms that serve not only , but all people. This book enurag everyone, not jt gay men, to take a good look at that formidable stutn and beg to ask some big, meangful qutns, like:.
Many young gay men are "hopels" romantics, but this may be unrealistic. * how to have a gay open relationship *
The are not jt qutns for gay upl, they are qutns for all upl: my polyamoro straight clients are alg wh the very same stuff. I know many gay, bi, trans and straight upl who have solid, lovg monogamo relatnships. I’ve seen this kd of relatnship many of the gay marriag – both open and monogamo - that I’ve had the pleasure to work wh.