Richie Jackson’s Gay Like Me Asks How Much Sufferg a Father Should Pass on to His Son | Vogue

Contents:

• I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN
• I LIKE GAY MALE PORN, BUT GAY MEN REAL LIFE EAK ME OUT.
• GAY LIKE ME
• DO HE LIKE ME? QUIZ FOR STGGLG GAYS
• GAY LIKE ME: JORDAN AND RICHIE’S PRI + JOY
• GAY LIKE ME QUOT
• RICHIE JACKSON’S GAY LIKE ME ASKS: HOW MUCH SUFFERG SHOULD A FATHER PASS ON TO HIS SON?
• RICHIE JACKSON ON POLIL SIGNIFINCE OF HIS MEMOIR ‘GAY LIKE ME’
• GAY LIKE ME
• GAY LIKE ME

I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN

Andrew Ahn’s father once told him that there were “no gay people Korea.”Ahn was so aaid of his parents’ reactn if he me out to them that he had a backpack and a iend on standby se he need to leave.

In a culturally nservative muny, where gog to church and buildg a fay were heavily emphasized, Ahn felt his gay inty kept him “om beg able to participate Korean culture.” Then, he started equentg GAMeBoi, a weekly Asian Amerin gay party at Wt Hollywood’s Rage Nightclub. He learned to embrace beg both Korean and gay, so much so that he directed “Fire Island,” a groundbreakg queer Asian Amerin rom- released last year. Beg Asian Amerin and LGBTQ+ n feel lonely, wh stutns such as ethnic church often disavowg non-heterosexual relatnships while tradnal LGBTQ+ spac such as gay bars n be unwelg to people of lor.

But the muny is beg visible — California now has an out Asian Amerin ngrsman and state legislators — and partyg person remas an important way to nnect, even an onle age.“Fdg plac like GAMeBoi, where beg queer and Asian do -exist … It’s not like a 1,000-year-old Korean cultural rual, but I uld create a new rual,” said Ahn, 37.On a recent Friday, hundreds packed QT Nightlife’s monthly K-Pop Night at Micky’s, a Wt Hollywood gay club a block or so east om the old GAMeBoi se.Some posed for selfi a pk Barbie box wh dis balls hangg overhead. “If we get our face out there, then people will start takg a ltle more serly.” (Michael Owen Baker / For The Tim) Even historilly gay neighborhoods like Wt Hollywood or San Francis’s Castro district, Asian Amerins have long been ignored or fetishized, seen as feme and weak.

I LIKE GAY MALE PORN, BUT GAY MEN REAL LIFE EAK ME OUT.

In 2019, then-Wt Hollywood Mayor John Duran argued that he did not appropriately touch a member of the Gay Men’s Chos of Los Angel bee “he’s a skny Korean kid wh pimpl on his cheek.” Asian Amerin advocy groups cricized Duran’s remark, wh API Equaly-LA potg to the long history of discrimatn agast Asian men gay muni such as Wt Hollywood, whose clubs “ed to require three forms of photo intifitn om anyone they perceived as Asian.” Duran eventually rigned om his posn as mayor, cg health reasons, after several other allegatns of sexual harassment.Miss Shu Mai, a Taiwane Amerin drag queen who hosted the K-Pop Night, relled seeg whe actors yellowface — makp that ma them look East Asian L.A.’s drag scene.

(Michael Owen Baker / For The Tim) “In a time when there is anti-Asian hate and feels like the whole world is cmblg … what’s more revolutnary polilly than dancg, havg a good time and lovg one another?” said Crisman, a 36-year-old gay Korean Amerin rearcher and artist. On this night, he had brought some female high school iends who wanted to experience the gay clubbg scene.“I am an environment where I feel safe exprsg myself,” he said.Then, he cut the terview short.“Attentn” by NewJeans was playg, and he uldn’t rist spng around, lghg and dancg on the floor.

GAY LIKE ME

Regardls, some straight people like porn that isn't straight (like some gay people like porn that isn't gay), and what we like fantasy or media isn't a sound way to try and figure out what our orientatn is or a place to look for a match wh what we like or want real life, even though for some folks, is some ways.

DO HE LIKE ME? QUIZ FOR STGGLG GAYS

Maybe you're homosexual and your real-life sexual and romantic terts will be solely about men.

GAY LIKE ME: JORDAN AND RICHIE’S PRI + JOY

It uld be g om homophobia your upbrgg, muny, om iends or fay, or jt out and about the world: there's a lot of , so 's mighty hard to miss. That reactn uld be about genr: 's hard sometim to untangle homophobia om fears or securi about genr or genr inty. It uld e om a fear that you're gay or bisexual yourself, or that likg men sexually or romantilly, even fantasy, mak you ls of a man, fears that might be irratnal, but might also be ratnal.

In se the term homophobia trips you up, UC Davis' Department of Psychology says: "The Amerin Herage Dictnary f homophobia as "aversn to gay or homosexual people or their liftyle or culture" and "behavr or an act based on this aversn.

" Other fns intify homophobia as an irratnal fear of homosexualy.

GAY LIKE ME QUOT

" AVERT gets more pth wh their fn: "Homophobia is generally fed as hostily towards or fear of gay people, but n also refer to social iologi which stigmatise homosexualy.

Negative feelgs or attus towards non-heterosexual behavur, inty, relatnships and muny, n lead to homophobic behavur and is the root of the discrimatn experienced by many lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr (LGBT) people.

Homophobia manifts self different forms, for example homophobic jok, physil attacks, discrimatn the workplace and media reprentatn. Some studi, like one done at the Universy of Geia, reported the Journal of Abnormal Psychology (Augt, 1996) have lked greater sexual aroal to homosexual material to homophobia.

RICHIE JACKSON’S GAY LIKE ME ASKS: HOW MUCH SUFFERG SHOULD A FATHER PASS ON TO HIS SON?

In other words, 's entirely possible that your feelg so aroed by this might be bee of, or amplified by, homophobic feelgs or attus. Homophobia is somethg that is very often seen people who may be homosexual or bisexual themselv and are very aaid of those feelgs, or feel there is somethg terribly wrong wh them (even though there isn't). I don't know if you've been payg attentn to the news lately, but if you have, I don't have to tell you that we've had a lot of tragedi lately that stemmed om homophobia.

That's nothg new, as this has long been a very ser problem, but 's a major and horrible wake-up ll for anyone who had the ia homophobia wasn't still a big al.

RICHIE JACKSON ON POLIL SIGNIFINCE OF HIS MEMOIR ‘GAY LIKE ME’

But homophobia has been very much associated wh some kds of vlence and aggrsn, as well as wh the high suici and prsn rat of queer people.

This is important for everyone to know whether they might be the person who hurts someone else wh their own homophobia, and/or who might be hurt themselv by someone else's. Like racism or xenophobia, homophobia n and do eply hurt people and the world we live . Even when the more benign effects of homophobia n have a big impact.

GAY LIKE ME

One example of stutnalized homophobia (and heterosexism and transphobia), for stance, is that very few people grow up a world or a culture which prents same-sex or same or siar-genr romantic and/or sexual relatnships as as normal, as acceptable, and as potentially wonrful as oppose-sex or genr relatnships. A lot of lbian, gay, bisexual or other not-heterosexual folks have a hard time picturg themselv anythg but oppose-sex relatnships not bee they aren't really queer, but bee 's the only, or the most pervasive, picture they've seen, or the only way they have seen relatnships or fai prented posively. If you fd out you're gay, that's okay.

The Be Be: A Homosexualy and Bisexualy Primer. My Bt Friend Is A Homophobe. Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love.

There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia. 'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough" said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'" Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3, 000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022.

GAY LIKE ME

Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos" relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife. The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage". In this poignant and urgent love letter to his son, award-wng Broadway, TV and film producer Richie Jackson reflects on his experienc as a gay man Ameri and the progrs and setbacks of the LGBTQ muny over the last 50 years.

He is not ready to be a gay man livg Ameri. Gay Like Me is a celebratn of gay inty and parentg, and a powerful warng for his son, other gay men and the world.

Jackson looks back at his own journey as a gay man g of age through s of polil and cultural turmoil.