Outsports founr Cyd Zeigler illtrat the stggle of out athlet his new book, Fair Play. In this exclive excerpt, Zeigler tak on the thorny issue of gay-straight relatns.
Contents:
- IS HE CHECKG ME OUT? WHAT GAY MEN THK IN THE LOCKER ROOM
- GAY SNA ETIQUETTE
- BEG GAY THE LOCKER ROOM — AND BEYOND
- I WAS OPENLY GAY ON MY HIGH SCHOOL TEAM AND HEARD SLURS ALL THE TIME
- PROBG THE STRAIGHT FEAR OF GAY GAZE LOCKER ROOMS
- TOM HOLLAND’S GAY SEX SCENE SETS SOCIAL MEDIA ALIGHT AFTER THE ACTOR SAID PLAYG THE ROLE ‘BROKE HIM’
- TOM HOLLAND’S GAY SEX SCENE THE CROWD ROOM DEFEND BY FANS
IS HE CHECKG ME OUT? WHAT GAY MEN THK IN THE LOCKER ROOM
More and more, we hear about athlet g out of the closet — and to gym locker rooms. Expert Rick Clemons tackl mon fears straight men have about sharg locker rooms wh gay men and explas why those fears are pletely unfound. * gay in locker room *
Wh the rise openly gay athlet participatg profsnal sports, many people are wonrg if gay athlet are more or ls prone to check out other athlet the locker room. Yet, for some reason, 's assumed that gay men are on the hunt 24/7, tryg to bed every guy that walks. It's also assumed that locker rooms are prime huntg grounds for gay men to poach heterosexual men.
Granted, gay men will be gay men, but let's not assume that our libidos are more charged than our heterosexual brothers, or that we n't ntrol our urg. "Gay, straight, male or female, the boundari nversatn was a nsistent theme wh the men I terviewed.
A therapist om Sacramento, California admted he'd been h upon a few tim by gay men, but "those enunters didn't make me feel unfortable. " Steve th prov that life the locker room mov on, and that speci of varyg sexual orientatn n peacefully recurrg theme left me wonrg why there is this misnceptn that gay men are ready to pounce, at a moments notice, on the first good-lookg guy that giv them two sends of a se?
GAY SNA ETIQUETTE
Fd out what happens a gay sna and how to behave. It's all about nsent and self-awarens. Gay sna gui. * gay in locker room *
I was surprised bee I assumed, out of this group of guys most of whom I don't really know very well, I might have enuntered some form of hostily or overt fear towards homosexual men. I don’t thk they are gay, eher.
I see hts of ternalized homophobia that le, and I thk he’d be a lot more fortable if he alt wh .
BEG GAY THE LOCKER ROOM — AND BEYOND
Rich: Jane Ward’s 2015 book Not Gay kicked off a lot of disurse about “straight” guys who engage “gay” sex, and I thk did a real disservice to nuance by beg totally crlo of self-labelg. Given the societal prsure to be straight and the history of closeted gay, bi, and queer men sayg one thg and dog another, I don’t necsarily thk we need to take people at their word when they say they’re straight and do thgs that suggt otherwise.
I thk what happens is people say, to themselv, “Well, gay/bi/queer people are like this.
I WAS OPENLY GAY ON MY HIGH SCHOOL TEAM AND HEARD SLURS ALL THE TIME
Do you go to particularly gay gyms?
From Slate’s piece on them: “The rults of ‘Is mutual masturbatn gay? ’ were 465 to 100 that mutual masturbatn is not gay.
PROBG THE STRAIGHT FEAR OF GAY GAZE LOCKER ROOMS
As not gay as may be, ’s also not not gay.
TOM HOLLAND’S GAY SEX SCENE SETS SOCIAL MEDIA ALIGHT AFTER THE ACTOR SAID PLAYG THE ROLE ‘BROKE HIM’
In this example, you happened to see him naked a settg that n be sexually arog for a lot of gay man. Jt as you didn’t choose to be gay and have the feelgs you have.
TOM HOLLAND’S GAY SEX SCENE THE CROWD ROOM DEFEND BY FANS
Summer mp my sophomore year, after ach left, Varsy guys held wrtlg match to terme who got the remag lockers the big varsy room. The days I don’t jo , but when I first started gog to a particularly cisy gym Manhattan, I had jt watched the 2005 documentary Gay Sex the ‘70s. What I had thought jt days before was a bygone halcyon time of gay male liberatn was alive and well, pulsg the boners beg adjted and nfigured soaked-through th whe towels.
At my school, the very place that I first observed queer cursy, I was sred to e out, fearg my own physil and emotnal wasn’t jt the school locker room where I heard homophobic remarks. Gay people are an abomatn and are gog to Hell if they don’t get right wh God. ” Years later he warned: “If you turn out gay, I’ll fuck you up.