How to Cope When Your Spoe Is Gay

Contents:

• THE PROFOUND LACK OF EMPATHY MY HBAND'S NOT GAY
• ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’: MEET THE CAST OF TLC SPECIAL ABOUT 3 MORMON COUPL
• STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS
• 'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' STARS DEFEND TLC'S CONTROVERSIAL NEW SHOW
• REALY SHOW 'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' DRAWS NTROVERSY
• THE RUB REPORT TACKL TLC'S 'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' CONTROVERSY
• TLC'S “MY HBAND'S NOT GAY” STARS A PROMENT “EX-GAY” ACTIVIST
• MY HBAND'S NOT GAY
• MY HBAND'S NOT GAY IS FELY NOT WORTH THE UPROAR
• MY HBAND'S NOT GAY - FULL CAST & CREW
• 'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' REALY SHOW FAC BACKLASH
• 6 THGS ABOUT TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’
• IS MY HBAND GAY? 10 SIGNS THAT CAN HELP YOU FIGURE OUT
• MY HBAND’S NOT GAY MISUNRSTANDS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE GAY
• 4 REASONS TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’ IS DANGERO FOR LGBT PEOPLE
• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY
• WHY TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’ IS WORTH WATCHG

THE PROFOUND LACK OF EMPATHY MY HBAND'S NOT GAY

It has started a ntroversy—one that reveals a lot about cultural tensns brilliance of the televisn special My Hband's Not Gay begs wh s name. And prompts the pable, skg feelg that the lady doth prott too much: If she has to expla that her hband's not gay, she's already admted that his attractn to her is ls than, many people are angry about My Hband's Not Gay, which is s send stroke of brilliance.

The TLC show, which aired on Sunday night, follows four men who all experience "same-sex attractn, " or "SSA, " but who don't want to live "the gay liftyle" bee of their Mormon relig beliefs. " In the lead-up to the special's premiere, more than 100, 000 people signed a petn to get ncelled, claimg promot "'reparative therapy, ' a discreded and dangero practice that falsely claims to turn gay people straight.

‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’: MEET THE CAST OF TLC SPECIAL ABOUT 3 MORMON COUPL

This approach to programmg succeeds, wildly, bee 's a pure distillatn of the appeal of realy televisn: self-righteo problem, though, wh makg realy televisn about gay men who don't want to be gay is that will variably lack empathy for the pa that likely f those men's liv. The failure of My Hband's Not Gay is one of style, not substance; but the fact that has been protted for s substance says a lot about the cultural tensns surroundg homosexualy Ameri.

STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS

The openg of My Hband's Not Gay is a straight llback to the the openg sequence of the fictnal HBO seri Big Love, about a polygamo fay of fundamentalist Mormons. It's a bound performance of sexualy: They've stctured their relatnships so that they n exprs their feelgs of attractn and even toy wh gay inty while still settg firm lims on their behavr.

Watchg My Hband's Not Gay is like the passive emotnal experience of wanrg through a low-budget rnival, gawkg at the sishow eaks for a short moment before losg attentn and movg on.

'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' STARS DEFEND TLC'S CONTROVERSIAL NEW SHOW

All three of the upl featured have worked wh an anizatn lled Voic of Hope, sharg their experienc on tape and speakg publicly support of "non-gay liftyl" for people who experience "same-sex attractn. " While uld fairly be lled propaganda, 's not exactly "prayg away the gay": Voic of Hope is part of the Mormon anizatn North Star Internatnal, which says on s webse that "whether or not dividuals choose to make efforts to dimish or elimate homosexual feelgs, and whether or not those efforts succeed, is ls important to North Star’s purpos. Sendg the msage that beg gay is somethg that n and ought to be changed, or that you should reject your sexual orientatn by marryg someone of the oppose sex, " the petn says.

By airg a televisn special about this worldview, objectors say, TLC is implicly endorsg —which is a form of will be the next great nflict surroundg gayns Ameri: between those who mand acceptance of homosexualy and those who fd morally unacceptable. It's a sign of jt how far gay rights have e Ameri that TLC would be lled out for even acknowledgg a worldview that isn't fully acceptg of gayns.

The objectns aren't about wng legal rights, or enanchisement, or even civily; they're about wng total cultural acceptance of homosexualy.

REALY SHOW 'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' DRAWS NTROVERSY

The upl My Hband's Not Gay have created liv they say they want, liv that are tolerant of homosexualy every way except choosg, themselv, to have gay sex. Of urse, that's not what happened My Hband's Not Gay, but that probably uldn't be helped; nuance don't tend to be the tramark of realy televisn.

THE RUB REPORT TACKL TLC'S 'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' CONTROVERSY

But if possible, My Hband's Not Gay should be treated as a varsy-level exercise fdg empathy; even for those who disagree wh the choic the upl have ma, they may still regnize the stggle. In January, the work will air “My Hband’s Not Gay, ” which shows a different kd of Mormon marriage: men who are attracted to other men yet marry women bee of their fah.

TLC'S “MY HBAND'S NOT GAY” STARS A PROMENT “EX-GAY” ACTIVIST

The church was one of the major relig anizatns that fought for Proposn 8 California to elimate same-sex a separate statement, Hckley, who died 2008, said the church lov “so-lled gays and lbians” like “sons and dghters of God. 11 premiere, meet the st of “My Hband’s Not Gay”:Jeff and TanyaJeff, a Salt Lake Cy native, and Tanya, who grew up Wyomg, met on a bld date 13 years ago. Fally, the relatnships suggt to some people “reparative therapy, ” the uhil and impossible claim that a person n be changed om gay to straight.

You might be able to claim your inty by meetg ocsnally wh gay men, stayg touch on Facebook, and lettg your gay iends know that you want to rema sexually fahful to your wife.

MY HBAND'S NOT GAY

I warn mixed-orientatn upl that he may feel differently later life and his gayns may surface more strongly and bee more of an inty for him and th bee an issue their marriage.

MY HBAND'S NOT GAY IS FELY NOT WORTH THE UPROAR

Both straight and gay muni put enormo prsure on the man and woman a mixed-orientatn marriage, and few marriag n stand up unr this social, fay, and relig prsure. A gay man n tly love a woman, have satisfyg and regular sex wh her, and want to stay married to her while beg unterted other women sexually. Matag a mixed-orientatn marriage requir endurg the strs of keepg the secrets that one of them is gay and beg discreet how they live their liv.

MY HBAND'S NOT GAY - FULL CAST & CREW

"NEWS: Orange Is the New Black Ws Big at GLAAD AwardsSome also believe the show uld serve as an ad for the "ex gay" dtry, which clus programs that try to change one's sexual orientatn by g procr such as psychoanalysis and extreme s electro shock. Controversy is buzzg around a new TLC realy special — and hasn't even aired show “My Hband’s Not Gay” follows Mormon men Utah who are married to women but attracted to men. RELATED: ‘Duck Dynasty’ star: ‘Tryg to figure out’ if beg gay is a choice“I thk this show is disgraceful and that there are many thgs wrong wh , ” said Sarah Kate Ellis, the CEO and print of GLAAD.

'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' REALY SHOW FAC BACKLASH

“The central msage is that beg gay is bad, and that’s an credibly dangero msage to be sendg to young adults and n e irreversible damage. “That kd of therapy tri to ‘cure’ people om beg gay and we know that’s been refuted for years … feeds to a much bigger epimic of higher cints of suici, higher cints bullyg the LGBT muny and sends a bad, bad cultural msage.

The petn says the show “promot the false and dangero ia that gay people n and should choose to be straight orr to be part of their fah muni. Mov to ban gay nversn therapy among mors“My Hband’s Not Gay” follows one bachelor and three married, heterosexual upl, Jeff and Tanya, Pret and Megan, Curtis and Tera. Sometim a woman may have been a heterosexual relatnship for years and yet feel somethg is somehow "off;" and she may fd herself askg, "Is my hband gay?" Many women fd this qutn unthkable but acrdg to Bonnie Kaye, M.ED., an expert women married to gay men, is timated that 4 ln women have been, or are, married to gay men.

In many s, is the wife, who after spectg that somethg is wrong, mt nont the gay hband wh the evince, and only then n hontly be achieved.

6 THGS ABOUT TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’

Rub Report host Dave Rub sound off on the ntroversy surroundg TLC's "My Hband's Not Gay, " a new special which foc on a group of Mormon men who say they have chosen to marry women even though they are attracted to other men.

"I actually got really upset at the women who know that their hband is gay and they're enablg this nial of who they really are by marryg them...

TLC's new show, which follows a group of men who adm to beg attracted to other men but have chosen to date and marry women, has been wily cricized by members of the LGBT muny for promotg the wily discreded practice of “ex-gay” or “reparative” therapy. ” Tth Ws Out, a group dited to stoppg “ex-gay” therapy, has poted out that many of the shows stars are closely affiliated wh North Star, a ge Mormon “ex-gay” group.

IS MY HBAND GAY? 10 SIGNS THAT CAN HELP YOU FIGURE OUT

But one of the stars of TLC's show - Prton “Pret” Dahlgren - has a history of speakg on behalf of “ex-gay” mistri, repeatedly g his ttimony to promote anizatns that promote reparative therapy.

MY HBAND’S NOT GAY MISUNRSTANDS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE GAY

Same-genr attractns and overe homosexual behavr, ” largely relyg on the work of the notor Natnal Associatn for Rearch and Therapy of Homosexualy (NARTH).

4 REASONS TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’ IS DANGERO FOR LGBT PEOPLE

Dahlgren ma siar ments a vio for the 2013 Rencilg Fah & Feelgs Conference, an event that promot “ex-gay” therapy and believ that 's possible to dimish a person's same-sex attractns:.

Dahlgren's wife, Megan, is also actively volved promotg “ex-gay” therapy, havg worked wh Evergreen, North Star, and People Can Change, another anizatn that promot “ex-gay” therapy. TLC's “My Hband's Not Gay” won't air s first episo until January 11, but 's worth notg that at least one of s stars has a real profsnal centive to e his new, natnal platform to promote a kd of “treatment” that all major profsnal medil anizatns agree is effective and n do ser harm to LGBT people.

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

It tak a lot for the Gay and Lbian Alliance Agast Defamatn (GLAAD) to get really mad at someone, but when happens, man, really happens. This week GLAAD let loose their ire on TLC’s upg special My Hband’s Not Gay, which premier on Sunday 11 January at 10pm EST – directly oppose the Goln Glob, ensurg that nary a gay man will actually see .

” GLAAD isn’t the only one tryg to get TLC to pull the plug: nearly 100, 000 people have signed a petn at askg for the work, the former home of Here Com Honey Boo Boo, to ncel the first blh, I would agree wh GLAAD that is irrponsible to poe the doctre of reparative therapy, where relig groups believe that gay men and lbians n pray the gay away and live heterosexual liv. It’s dangero to tell people that they n somehow stop beg gay if God wav a magic wand and mak them really thk there is somethg credibly sexy about Megan Fox wearg a belly ’s not really what this show is about though. Jt as I hope they all rpect my right to live as an openly gay man, I gus I have to give them the same rpect to choose not to act on their are a gay man and a former member of the SSA muny who get to give their views durg the 60-mute special.

They don’t expand upon , but I image a bunch of middle-aged dus the rec room of a fished basement a half-naked scm wh that magic Mormon unrwear ltered all over the wall-to-wall thg about My Hband’s Not Gay is that is not gog to nvce anyone at eher end of the iologil spectm. The TV show follows Mormons who are married to women, but also attracted to men— -- A new realy show featurg men who say they are attracted to men but do not intify themselv as gay is stirrg up real-life ntroversy as thoands have signed a petn to stop the show.

WHY TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’ IS WORTH WATCHG

The work, which ed to be known as The Learng Channel and would air stctnal and tnal programmg back the 1990s, now foc on liftyle shows such as “19 Kids and Countg, ” which chronicl the liv of the Duggars, a fay which has ma homophobic statements the past. The show promot the ia that beg gay is a choice, or is sful and agast God's will, and giv the imprsn to so many young men and women stgglg wh their sexualy that they should supprs their homosexual urg and enter to heterosexual marriag—all ias soundly rejected by the medil muny and creasgly rejected by society at large.

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