It was easier to accept my gay son than my dghter, but now I'm a better ally | Metro News

Contents:

• FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED
• JAGUARS ASSOCIATE STRENGTH ACH OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR US-BASED PRO LEAGU
• IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
• PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE
• IT WAS EASIER TO ACCEPT MY SON WAS GAY THAN MY DGHTER, BUT MA ME A BETTER ALLY
• ARE YOUNGER BROTHERS MORE LIKELY TO BE GAY?
• MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
• WE MAY KNOW WHY YOUNGER BROTHERS ARE MORE LIKELY TO BE GAY
• GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*

FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED

The northern Italian cy of Padua has started removg the nam of non-blogil gay mothers om their children’s birth certifit unr new legislatn passed by the “tradnal fay-first” ernment of Prime Mister Grgia Meloni. “There is no discrimatn agast children, ” Fay Mister Eugenia Roccella told parliament when she troduced the bill June, explag that the children of gay upl would have accs to school and medil servic jt like those who only have one livg parent. The procs tak about two years and sts around $200, 000 per child - and prospective gay fathers don't meet eligibily creria for most health surance plans' fertily benefs, although this is begng to change.

Brent Monsr, MD, recently helped lead a study to document tails of how gay men e assisted reproductive technology to build their fai, cludg qutns such as how many children they wish to have and how often their efforts succeed. Your paper giv historil ntext for how shiftg attus toward LGBTQ fai have changed the climate for gay men who want to bee fathers. There has been a lot of foc the scientific lerature on whether children turn out OK if they have gay parents.

JAGUARS ASSOCIATE STRENGTH ACH OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR US-BASED PRO LEAGU

Why is important for the experienc of gay men seekg fertily re to be reflected the scientific lerature?

Cisgenr gay men are almost never clud this rearch, so as physicians we don't know anythg about their characteristics as reproductive health patients, even basic rmatn such as their mographics, clil cisn-makg patterns or out.

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

That gave a wdow to a natnal group of 119 cisgenr men, cludg five sgle men and 57 gay upl, who uniquely had fertily benefs. It's important to keep md that our data reflect the experienc of dividuals who n afford reproductive medil re bee their employer-sponsored fertily benefs ver , and that is still an unual suatn for gay men. This data served as the foundatn for a grant applitn we've jt had approved to nduct a much larger populatn study that will give accs to rmatn on about 2, 000 embryo transfers annually gay men.

A lot of people see a fertily doctor bee they have an unrlyg medil issue, whereas gay male upl ually have two possible sperm sourc, a young egg donor and a gtatnal rrier who has already had succsful pregnanci. I thk that, bee of the medil factors, birth rat for gay upl uld serve as a morn standard for evaluatg the succs of IVF labs.

We regnize that this may be bee a lot of gay men requt tws or may ultimately want two children, and fertily doctors may be transferrg two embryos to try to save their patients money so they only have to go through the fertily treatment procs once.

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

But we need to ask: Are we puttg gtatnal rriers at unnecsary risk om tw pregnanci, and puttg gay upl at unnecsary risk of havg babi the NICU?

IT WAS EASIER TO ACCEPT MY SON WAS GAY THAN MY DGHTER, BUT MA ME A BETTER ALLY

Before I was an OB/GYN, I thought, "This is a health accs issue, and if gay men want tws we should rpect their tonomy. What do add to have physician-scientists like you, who are gay, answerg rearch qutns about this populatn of prospective parents? I'm currently a fellow, and I have patients g specifilly to see me, not bee I'm the most amazg doctor but bee I'm gay, and they want a gay doctor.

Ten narrative studi volvg fay histori of 262 children of gay fathers and lbian mothers were evaluated statistilly rponse to Morrison's (2007) ncerns about Cameron's (2006) rearch that had volved three narrative studi. Dpe numero attempts to bias the rults favour of the null hypothis and allowg for up to 20 (of 63, 32%) dg errors, Cameron's (2006) hypothis that gay and lbian parents would be more likely to have gay, lbian, bisexual or unsure (of sexual orientatn) sons and dghters was nfirmed. Percentag of children of gay and lbian parents who adopted non-heterosexual inti ranged between 16% and 57%, wh odds rats of 1.

ARE YOUNGER BROTHERS MORE LIKELY TO BE GAY?

Data om ethnographic sourc and om prev studi on gay and lbian parentg were re-examed and found to support the hypothis that social and parental fluenc may fluence the exprsn of non-heterosexual inti and/or behavur.

Both lbians and gay men often have a history of cross-sex-typed behavrs: ltle boys beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg.

Prehomosexual boys tend to be more attracted to solary sports such as swimmg, cyclg and tennis than they are to rougher ntact sports such as football and soccer. The behavral patterns are feared, loathed and often spoken of directly as harbgers of adult homosexualy.

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

It is only relatively recently, however, that velopmental scientists have nducted ntrolled studi to intify the earlit and most reliable signs of adult homosexualy. In lookg refully at the childhoods of gay adults, rearchers are fdg an trigug set of behavral ditors that homosexuals seem to have mon.

WE MAY KNOW WHY YOUNGER BROTHERS ARE MORE LIKELY TO BE GAY

So on the basis of some earlier, shakier rearch, along wh a good dose of mon sense, Bailey and Zucker hypothized that homosexuals would show an verted pattern of sex-typed childhood behavrs—ltle boys preferrg girls as playmat and beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls strangely enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg—that sort of thg. Given that a small proportn of the populatn is homosexual, prospective studi require a large number of children.

Although only 12 percent of the women grew up to be genr dysphoric (the unfortable sense that your blogil sex do not match your genr), the odds of the women reportg a bisexual or homosexual orientatn were up to 23 tim higher than would occur a general sample of young women. Bailey and Zucker, who nducted a retrospective study which adults answered qutns about their past, revealed that 89 percent of randomly sampled gay men relled cross-sex-typed childhood behavrs exceedg the heterosexual median.

The thors found that “those targets who, as adults, intified themselv as homosexual were judged to be genr nonnformg as children. There is also evince of a “dosage effect”: the more genr-nonnformg characteristics there are childhood, the more likely is that a homosexual or bisexual orientatn will be prent adulthood.

GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*

Not all ltle boys who like to wear drs grow up to be gay, nor do all ltle girls who spise drs bee lbians.

I took to middle school wrtlg as a rather scrawny 80-pound eighth grar, and so dog, ironilly beme all too nsc of my homosexual orientatn. Cross-cultural data show that prehomosexual boys are more attracted to solary sports such as swimmg, cyclg and tennis than they are to rougher ntact sports such as football and soccer; they are also ls likely to be childhood bulli. Rearchers readily nce that there are que likely multiple—and no doubt extremely plited—velopmental rout to adult homosexualy.

Bee the data often reveal very early emergg tras prehomosexuals, children who show pronounced sex-atypil behavrs may have more of a geic loadg to their homosexualy, whereas gay adults who were sex-typil as children might trace their homosexualy more directly to particular childhood experienc.

All else beg equal, I spect we would be hard-prsed to fd parents who would actually prefer their offsprg to be homosexual. Evolutnarily, parental homophobia is a no-braer: gay sons and lbian dghters are not likely to reproduce (unls they get creative).

Lang, Elton John and Rachel Maddow's close relativ, but I n only image that the straight k are far better off terms of their own reproductive opportuni than they would be whout a homosexual danglg so magnificently on their fay tre. So cultivate your ltle prehomosexual's native talents, and your ultimate geic payoff uld, strangely enough, be even larger wh one very special gay child than would be if 10 medcre straight offsprg leaped om your los.

I n say as a once prehomosexual pipsqueak that some preparatn on the part of others would have ma easier on me, rather than nstantly fearg rejectn or worryg about some rels slipup leadg to my “exposure.