Men and Women as Friends – When One is Gay or Lbian | Psychology Today

Contents:

• 17 SIGNS YOUR BOYIEND IS SECRETLY GAY (& WHAT TO DO)
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• ‘IT’S MY FLORIDA TOO’: PULSE SHOOTG SURVIVOR BRANDON WOLF ON BEG BLACK, GAY AND THE ANTI-RON DESANTIS
• GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
• HOW SHOULD CHRISTIANS RELATE TO GAY FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS, AND FAY?
• KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIENDBARBIE’S BELOVED BEARD?FOR YEARS, PEOPLE HAVE QUTNED WHAT ROLE KEN REALLY PLAYS BARBIE’S LIFE. BUT THE TTH IS PLA SIGHT: KEN’S NOT BOYIEND MATERIAL. AT LEAST, NOT FOR BARBIE.BARRY LEVTFREELANCE WRERPUBLISHED JUL. 21, 2023 4:35AM EDT PHOTO ILLTRATN BY THE DAILY BEAST/GETTYIT’S BARBIE WEEK AT THE DAILY BEAST’S OBSSED, CELEBRATG THE DOLL’S POP-CULTURE HISTORY, OUR FAVORE BARBIE MEMORI, AND A CERTA MAJOR MOVIE. READ ALL OF OUR VERAGE HERE!“SHE’S EVERYTHG. HE’S JT KEN.” THAT’S THE TAGLE FOR THE WILDLY ANTICIPATED BARBIE MOVIE, DIRECTED BY GRETA GERWIG AND STARRG MARGOT ROBBIE AND RYAN GOSLG. THE IMPLITN IS CLEAR: COME FOR BARBIE, AND STAY FOR BARBIE… BUT KEN HAPPENS TO BE THERE TOO.KEN HAS LONG BEEN SEEN AS NOTHG BUT BARBIE’S HUMAN ACCSORY, BUT WASN’T ALWAYS THIS WAY FOR THE POOR MISUNRSTOOD DOLL. WHEN KEN WAS FIRST TRODUCED 1961, HIS FIRST MERCIAL TRIED TO POSN HIM AS BARBIE’S EQUAL AND, UNMISTAKABLY, BOYIEND. “GET BOTH BARBIE AND KEN AND SEE WHERE THE ROMANCE WILL LEAD!” THE MERCIAL PROMISED.SCE THEN, LIKE BARBIE, KEN HAS UNRGONE UNTLS TRANSFORMATNS AND FASHNS. BUT AS TIME WENT ON, KEN FOUND HIMSELF AN AFTERTHOUGHT. TOYMAKERS MATTEL NEVER GAVE HIM THE SAME KD OF BACKSTORI AS BARBIE—WHILE SHE’S HAD OVER 200 REERS, KEN HAS HAD JT SOME 40-ODD PROFSNS. (AN CREDIBLE AMOUNT OF JOBS FOR A PERSON, SURE. BUT FOR A DOLL? EMBARRASSG.) BARBIE HAS STARRED LOTS OF VIO GAM AND MORE THAN THREE DOZEN FILMS; KEN HAS HAD A MAJOR ROLE A MERE HANDFUL OF THEM. BUT THERE’S ONE KEY REASON WHY KEN IS ALWAYS LAGGG SIGNIFINTLY BEHD BARBIE AND 'S A LOT EPER THAN THE DOLL’S SEEMG LACK OF POPULARY: KEN HAS BEEN MISST. HE’S NOT BARBIE’S BOYIEND. HE’S BARBIE’S GAY BT IEND.DPE MATTEL’S SISTENCE THAT BARBIE AND KEN ARE A HAPPY ROMANTIC RELATNSHIP, THERE’S PLENTY OF SPECULATN ABOUT KEN’S SEXUALY. EVEN IF HIS MAKERS CLAIM HIM TO BE STRAIGHT, THERE’S MOUNTG PROOF TO THE NTRARY. PERHAPS THE MOST DISPUTABLE EVINCE THAT KEN IS FACT BOTH A MEMBER OF THE QUEER MUNY AND BARBIE’S BTIE, NOT BOY TOY, OM A RATHER SURPRISG PLACE: 2010’S TOY STORY 3.IN TOY STORY 3, BARBIE AND KEN PLAY A SURPRISGLY LARGE ROLE. THEIR TRODUCTN TO THE FILM IS TGED WH ROMANTIC TENSN. WHEN THE PAIR MEET, THE FILM VOK A MON TROPE: A ROMANTIC NEEDLE DROP HS THE MOMENT THE LOVERS LOCK EY. IN THIS SE, ’S “DREAM WEAVER” BY GARY WRIGHT. AS FAR AS BARBIE AND KEN ARE NCERNED, THEY’RE THE ONLY ON THE ROOM. “I LOVE YOUR LEG WARMERS!” KEN TELLS BARBIE. “NICE AST,” SHE BANTERS, WH HEAVY EMPHASIS ON THE FIRST SYLLABLE. BEFORE THGS GET TOO HEATED, THEY LOCK ARMS AND WALK OFF TOGETHER. PHOTO ILLTRATN BY KELLY CAMERO / THE DAILY BEAST / GETTY LET’S BE HONT—SPE THE ROMANTIC OVERTON OF THE SCENE, THEIR BRIEF EXCHANGE TELLS EVERYTHG ABOUT HOW THEY SEE EACH OTHER. KEN DON’T MENTN ANYTHG ABOUT BARBIE’S BODY, STEAD HIGHLIGHTG HER LEG WARMERS. BUT BARBIE IS UNSUBTLY TRYG TO SCE KEN JT TWO WORDS. SHE’S AFTER KEN, BUT KEN IS AFTER SOMEONE WHOSE CLOTH HE N ADMIRE.SURE, LATER THE FILM, KEN AND BARBIE SAY “I LOVE YOU” TO EACH OTHER. AND THEY GO BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN SAYG EACH WORD OF “I LOVE YOU”—SO SOMEONE DIFFERENT N SAY “LOVE” EACH TIME, AS KEN EXPLAS. HE MENTNS OFFHAND THAT HE HAS EVERYTHG EXCEPT SOMEONE TO SHARE WH. BARBIE AND KEN EVEN NUZZLE THEIR NOS TOGETHER. Y, THERE’S FELY LOVE BETWEEN IENDS—BUT THROUGH ALL, THERE’S NOT A HT OF SEXUAL CHEMISTRY.LOOK, I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THKG—SIR, THIS IS TOY STORY; WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU EXPECTG? IF YOU LOOK AT OTHER ROMANC THE ANCHISE—WOODY AND BO PEEP, AND JSE AND BUZZ—THERE’S NO DOUBT THAT THERE’S REAL LOVE THERE BETWEEN THE SENTIENT TOYS. THEIR PASSN FOR ONE ANOTHER TRANSCENDS MORE THAN SIMPLY BEG TERTED EACH OTHER’S OUTFS. THE SAME NNOT BE SAID OF THE MATTEL DOLLS. THAT’S MA EVINT WHEN KEN FALLY GETS AN OPPORTUNY FOR TIMACY WH BARBIE. “THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS,” HE TELLS BARBIE WHEN THEY FALLY GO TO HIS DREAMHOE TOGETHER, HAVG PARENTS ALL OVER THE WORLD CLUTCHG THEIR PEARLS. BUT FEAR NOT: KEN SIMPLY TAK BARBIE TO… HIS WALK- WARDROBE. ANY SEMBLANCE OF ROMANCE MAK WAY FOR IENDSHIP, WHEN THE PAIR JUBILANTLY PESE KEN’S OUTFS. AND STEAD OF DOG SOMETHG WILD LIKE KISSG BARBIE, KEN PUTS ON A FASHN SHOW FOR HER STEAD. THE FILM WON’T SAY , BUT A POST-CREDS PUNCHLE ABOUT KEN’S HANDWRG, PLETE WH HEARTS AND STARS SURROUNDG HIS NAME, TELLS WHAT WE NEED TO KNOW.THE HEAVILY IMPLIED NATURE OF KEN’S GAYNS TOY STORY 3 HARKENS BACK TO HOLLYWOOD’S TRADNAL GAY BT IEND-TYPE CHARACTERS. IN THE HAYS CO ERA, EXPLIC REFERENC TO HOMOSEXUALY WEREN’T ALLOWED, SO CHARACTERS LIKE VAN BUREN (FRANKL PANGBORN) 1937’S EASY LIVG, KIP (DAVID WAYNE) 1949’S ADAM’S RIB, OR ADDISON (GEE SANRS) 1950’S ALL ABOUT EVE STEAD WERE IMBUED WH EFFEMATE CHARACTERISTICS, OFFERG A GLIMPSE OUTSI OF HETERONORMATIVY WHOUT EXPLICLY BEG QUEER.NONE OF THE CHARACTERS WERE THE SAME—SOME WERE TTY, OTHERS SWEET. SOME HAD ULTERR MOTIV, AND OTHERS OFFERED UNNDNAL SUPPORT. BUT EACH OF THE GAY BT IENDS WAS TRSILLY FED BY THEIR RELATNSHIPS WH THEIR STRAIGHT IENDS. WE NEVER REALLY LEARNED MUCH ABOUT THEM AS DIVIDUALS. THEY LIVED ON THE MARGS, FLHG OUT THEIR STRAIGHT UNTERPARTS, HARDLY HAVG A PURPOSE WHOUT THEM; THAT PORTRAYAL REMAS TE TODAY. PHOTO ILLTRATN BY KELLY CAMERO / THE DAILY BEAST / PHOTOS BY GETTY / WARNER BROS. DES LATER, 2010, THE GAY BT IEND WAS ALL THE RAGE; TEEN VOGUE EVEN WENT SO FAR AS TO PROCLAIM THE GBF AS THE SUMMER’S MT-HAVE ACCSORY. BUT UNLIKE THE FIRST HALF OF THE 20TH CENTURY, TODAY’S CEMA, THE GBF IS ALLOWED TO BE OPENLY GAY. AT THE SAME TIME, THEY STILL BARELY REGISTER AS PEOPLE WH CHARACTER TRAS BEYOND THEIR RELATNSHIPS WH THEIR STRAIGHT UNTERPARTS. IN MOVI LIKE MEAN GIRLS (2004), THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA (2006), EASY A (2010), NO STRGS ATTACHED (2011), AND ISN’T IT ROMANTIC (2019), GAY IENDS EXIST ENTIRELY THE ORB OF THEIR FEMALE IENDS. IT’S SUCH A STRONG TROPE THAT EVEN PERSISTS QUEER ROMANTIC EDI: 2020’S HAPPIT SEASON FDS JOHN (DAN LEVY) OFFERG ADVICE AND SNARKY ONE-LERS TO HIS LBIAN BTIE LI OF MEANGFUL CHARACTER VELOPMENT.IN TOY STORY 3, THE SAME IS TE OF KEN. HIS EXISTENCE PENDS ON AND CIRCULAT AROUND BARBIE. IN BARBIE, KEN HAS FOUND SOMEONE WHO REALLY UNRSTANDS HIM. HE DON’T GET ALONG WH THE OTHER TOYS, WHO MOCK HIM FOR BEG A “GIRL'S TOY.” BUT BARBIE LOV FASHN, JT LIKE HE DO. “NO ONE APPRECIAT CLOTH HERE, BARBIE,” KEN LAMENTS TO BARBIE, ABOUT THE OTHER TOYS’ TREATMENT OF HIM. “NO ONE!” BUT BARBIE DO, AND FOR KEN, THAT’S LIFE-CHANGG.THERE ARE PLENTY OF REASONS WHY THE FILM WOULDN’T OUTRIGHTLY STATE THAT KEN IS HOMOSEXUAL. NOT ONLY DO DISNEY SELF HAVE A PLITED HISTORY WH QUEER CHARACTERS, BUT KEN AND BARBIE ARE ALSO THE PROPERTY OF MATTEL, WHICH HAS ALWAYS BEEN STEADFAST ASSERTG KEN’S HETEROSEXUALY. THAT’S NEVER BEEN CLEARER THAN 1993 WHEN THE TOY PANY TRIED TO REIGNE KEN’S POPULARY MATTEL’S SOLUTN? EARRG MAGIC KEN. EARRG MAGIC KEN WAS A FIERCER, FELY MORE QUEER KEN THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS VERSN OF THE DOLL HAD BLEACHED BLON HAIR, A PURPLE LEATHER VT (!), A PK-PURPLE MH TOP (!!), AND OF URSE, AND EARRG THE “GAY EAR”. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL: AROUND KEN’S NECK WAS SOMETHG THAT ANY ACTIVE PARTICIPANT OF THE QUEER SCENE THE ’90S REGNIZED STANTLY—A CK RG (!!!).THE EARRG MAGIC KEN TURNED BARBIE’S BOYIEND TO AN OUT-AND-PROUD HOMOSEXUAL RAVER. MATTEL, OF URSE, VEHEMENTLY NIED ANY CLAIMS THAT KEN WAS GAY, LET ALONE THAT HE HAD SOMETHG AS PREPOSTERO AS A CK RG AROUND HIS NECK. AS LISA MCKENDALL, FORMER MANAGER OF MARKETG AND MUNITNS, SAID AN TERVIEW ABOUT THE DOLL, “WE’RE NOT THE BS OF PUTTG CK RGS TO THE HANDS OF LTLE GIRLS.”REGARDLS OF MATTEL’S TENTNS, ’S HARD TO NY WHAT THE EYE N SEE. DPE THE NAME, CK RGS AT THE TIME WERE ED AS A FASHN ACCSORY AND A SIGN OF FIANT QUEERNS AND SEX POSIVY. AS A RULT, GAY MEN BOUGHT THE DOLL DROV, AND SPE MATTEL ULTIMATELY RELLG THE DOLL AND WIPG AWAY ANY TRACE OF EARRG MAGIC KEN, WAS NEAR-IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE KEN AS ANYTHG BUT THE GLOR HOMOSEXUAL HE WAS BORN TO BE OM THEN ON. MATTEL SPENT THE NEXT UPLE OF S TRYG TO RETA KEN’S MORE HETERONORMATIVE, MASCULE IMAGE, BUT THE VEIL WAS LIFTED, AND THERE WAS NO GOG BACK. PHOTO ILLTRATN BY KELLY CAMERO/THE DAILY BEAST/PHOTOS BY GETTY/WARNER BROS. THOUGH MATTEL DON’T SEEM TO BE WILLG TO SAY KEN IS ACTUALLY GAY, THE KEN DOLLS OF RECENT YEARS SEEM TO REALLY LEAN TO KEN’S QUEERNS. THE YASSIFITN OF KEN IS CLEARLY UNRWAY. WHILE THERE IS NO WAY TO “DRS GAY,” THERE ARE SEVERAL DOLLS THAT SEEM TO SUGGT OTHERWISE, SUCH AS:FASHNISTA KEN #193, WHO LOOKS VERY EXCED TO TELL YOU ABOUT HIS NEW OBSSN, TROYE SIVAN;TRAVEL KEN DOLL, WHO HAS A SATCHEL PERFECT FOR BATHHO AND A PURPLE OVERNIGHT BAG THAT LERALLY PROCLAIMS HE’S “EXTRA;”KEN LOOKS DOLL, SERVG “I’M GONNA GIVE YOU A MAKEOVER”-TYPE REALNS WHILE SPORTG BLACK PLEATHER PANTS;THIS KEN, WHO WEARS THE LEAST HETEROSEXUAL DOUBLE NIM IMAGABLE.WHILE I HAVE A FEELG THE NEW BARBIE MOVIE WILL PUT THE WORK TO NVCE THAT KEN IS A HETERO DU WHO LOV NOTHG LIFE MORE THAN BARBIE HERSELF, THE WRG’S ALREADY ON THE WALL: KEN IS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, BARBIE’S GAY BT IEND.KEEP OBSSG! SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY BEAST’S OBSSED NEWSLETTER AND FOLLOW ON FACEBOOK, TWTER, INSTAGRAM AND TIKTOK.READ MORE OF OUR BARBIE VERAGE HERE. BARRY LEVT
• MEN AND WOMEN AS FRIENDS – WHEN ONE IS GAY OR LBIAN
• CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

17 SIGNS YOUR BOYIEND IS SECRETLY GAY (& WHAT TO DO)

His sensibily as a gay artist has shaped and elevated the magaze’s athetic, but he has to keep his creativy check lt Mx be seen as a magaze for gay men. But fish strong, as the nflict over Richie’s bathhoe project grows and Mx has to nsir whether ’s too risky for the magaze to speak to gay men, or even gay women.At moments like this, the historil fictn feels not entirely historil. After all, most heterosexual guys have no tert watchg any porn unls there’s a woman your boyiend is tryg to hi his sexualy om you, ’s doubtful that he’ll openly watch gay porn while you’re around.

The only way you’ll know is to look at his search history, which is a pretty big vasn of his do he react if you offer to watch gay porn wh him? He’s been wh men beforeIf he’s been relatnships or hooked up wh men the past, ’s a pretty big ditor that he’s gay or bisexual. ”If you hear this kd of ment a lot, he might be attemptg to normalize his homosexual thoughts by makg them seem like nothg more than a joke.

It’s a way of flectg spicn off of themselv and makg seem like they uld never be terted other to the way your boyiend talks about homosexualy. If so, might be bee he’s secretly stgglg wh his own urse, there are plenty of heterosexual guys who e homophobic language as well.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

He’s not terted sleepg wh youThere are lots of reasons why your boyiend might not want to have sex that don’t volve him beg secretly gay. So if your boyiend has a lot of gay iends, uld be bee he’s subnscly tryg to surround himself wh people like urse, plenty of straight guys have gay iends as well.

He has a gay datg app on his phoneEven if he hasn’t actually ed the app to hook up wh guys, he’s obvly cur and may be thkg about dog so the future. Keep md that havg a datg app on his phone don’t mean he’s cheatg on you, but you serve to know if he’s actively lookg for other signs your boyiend is gayIt’s jt as important to unrstand all the signals that uld mistakenly lead you to believe your boyiend is gay.

He uld jt be touch wh his to do if you thk your boyiend is gayOkay, so you’ve noticed some of the signs that your boyiend might be gay.

‘IT’S MY FLORIDA TOO’: PULSE SHOOTG SURVIVOR BRANDON WOLF ON BEG BLACK, GAY AND THE ANTI-RON DESANTIS

It’s possible he’s been wantg to have this nversatn wh you but hasn’t had the urage to brg though you may have seen many of the behavrs on this list, don’t throw them his face as a list of ‘evince’ that he’s secretly gay. If your boyiend adms he’s gay, will be a difficult time for both of you and there’s no gettg past the fact that your relatnship is over.

It’s really no different om a heterosexual guy havg a preference for blons over big mistake you need to avoid is thkg that he’s still nfed or explorg his sexualy and will eventually e out as beg gay. For example, his fay may be vlently homophobic and by cidg that he's gay, you may out him by accint by treatg him different or implyg somethg whout meang to.

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

If you're tryg to figure out if your iend is gay bee you want to date him (as a woman), 's important to remember that jt bee he might be terted men don't mean he's not terted women. Although some people the gay culture may put on a certa voice or a way of speakg, your iend talkg a siar or "effemate" way is still not a very good way to judge.

Everyone n enjoy different thgs; jt like a woman might enjoy watchg football, guys n also enjoy thgs that are more monly associated wh women or the gay muny. The movi he watch and the mic he listens to are also not fair methods to gge if he is straight or gayer than Elton John and Gee Takei put together. Sometim you might assume that jt bee a guy only hangs out wh girls or jt bee his bt iend also seems gay, then he might also be gay.

HOW SHOULD CHRISTIANS RELATE TO GAY FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS, AND FAY?

Subtly brg up subjects that show him that you're okay wh your iends beg gay and that he don't need to hi his nature around you. Say somethg like, "You know you're stuck wh me as a iend no matter what, but I jt have to ask bee I don't want to make assumptns and e to the wrong nclns: are you gay? Article SummaryXTo tell if your guy iend is gay, notice whether he refers to other guys as attractive, which uld be a sign that he’s gay.

We currently have a survey vtigatn unrway that explor some of the posive out of “bromosexual” iendships, cludg our theory that gay men and straight men n be optimal wg men for one another.

Gay men – particularly those nservative and ral environments – rema wary about tryg to beiend straight men, fearg prejudice-fueled rejectn. At the same time, many straight men still doubt that they’ll be able to relate to gay men any meangful way and, for this reason, may not try to iate a iendship. If they’re open-md about beiendg gay men and make the effort to try to fe iendships based upon mon terts, gay men should feel more fortable reciprotg.

KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIENDBARBIE’S BELOVED BEARD?FOR YEARS, PEOPLE HAVE QUTNED WHAT ROLE KEN REALLY PLAYS BARBIE’S LIFE. BUT THE TTH IS PLA SIGHT: KEN’S NOT BOYIEND MATERIAL. AT LEAST, NOT FOR BARBIE.BARRY LEVTFREELANCE WRERPUBLISHED JUL. 21, 2023 4:35AM EDT PHOTO ILLTRATN BY THE DAILY BEAST/GETTYIT’S BARBIE WEEK AT THE DAILY BEAST’S OBSSED, CELEBRATG THE DOLL’S POP-CULTURE HISTORY, OUR FAVORE BARBIE MEMORI, AND A CERTA MAJOR MOVIE. READ ALL OF OUR VERAGE HERE!“SHE’S EVERYTHG. HE’S JT KEN.” THAT’S THE TAGLE FOR THE WILDLY ANTICIPATED BARBIE MOVIE, DIRECTED BY GRETA GERWIG AND STARRG MARGOT ROBBIE AND RYAN GOSLG. THE IMPLITN IS CLEAR: COME FOR BARBIE, AND STAY FOR BARBIE… BUT KEN HAPPENS TO BE THERE TOO.KEN HAS LONG BEEN SEEN AS NOTHG BUT BARBIE’S HUMAN ACCSORY, BUT WASN’T ALWAYS THIS WAY FOR THE POOR MISUNRSTOOD DOLL. WHEN KEN WAS FIRST TRODUCED 1961, HIS FIRST MERCIAL TRIED TO POSN HIM AS BARBIE’S EQUAL AND, UNMISTAKABLY, BOYIEND. “GET BOTH BARBIE AND KEN AND SEE WHERE THE ROMANCE WILL LEAD!” THE MERCIAL PROMISED.SCE THEN, LIKE BARBIE, KEN HAS UNRGONE UNTLS TRANSFORMATNS AND FASHNS. BUT AS TIME WENT ON, KEN FOUND HIMSELF AN AFTERTHOUGHT. TOYMAKERS MATTEL NEVER GAVE HIM THE SAME KD OF BACKSTORI AS BARBIE—WHILE SHE’S HAD OVER 200 REERS, KEN HAS HAD JT SOME 40-ODD PROFSNS. (AN CREDIBLE AMOUNT OF JOBS FOR A PERSON, SURE. BUT FOR A DOLL? EMBARRASSG.) BARBIE HAS STARRED LOTS OF VIO GAM AND MORE THAN THREE DOZEN FILMS; KEN HAS HAD A MAJOR ROLE A MERE HANDFUL OF THEM. BUT THERE’S ONE KEY REASON WHY KEN IS ALWAYS LAGGG SIGNIFINTLY BEHD BARBIE AND 'S A LOT EPER THAN THE DOLL’S SEEMG LACK OF POPULARY: KEN HAS BEEN MISST. HE’S NOT BARBIE’S BOYIEND. HE’S BARBIE’S GAY BT IEND.DPE MATTEL’S SISTENCE THAT BARBIE AND KEN ARE A HAPPY ROMANTIC RELATNSHIP, THERE’S PLENTY OF SPECULATN ABOUT KEN’S SEXUALY. EVEN IF HIS MAKERS CLAIM HIM TO BE STRAIGHT, THERE’S MOUNTG PROOF TO THE NTRARY. PERHAPS THE MOST DISPUTABLE EVINCE THAT KEN IS FACT BOTH A MEMBER OF THE QUEER MUNY AND BARBIE’S BTIE, NOT BOY TOY, OM A RATHER SURPRISG PLACE: 2010’S TOY STORY 3.IN TOY STORY 3, BARBIE AND KEN PLAY A SURPRISGLY LARGE ROLE. THEIR TRODUCTN TO THE FILM IS TGED WH ROMANTIC TENSN. WHEN THE PAIR MEET, THE FILM VOK A MON TROPE: A ROMANTIC NEEDLE DROP HS THE MOMENT THE LOVERS LOCK EY. IN THIS SE, ’S “DREAM WEAVER” BY GARY WRIGHT. AS FAR AS BARBIE AND KEN ARE NCERNED, THEY’RE THE ONLY ON THE ROOM. “I LOVE YOUR LEG WARMERS!” KEN TELLS BARBIE. “NICE AST,” SHE BANTERS, WH HEAVY EMPHASIS ON THE FIRST SYLLABLE. BEFORE THGS GET TOO HEATED, THEY LOCK ARMS AND WALK OFF TOGETHER. PHOTO ILLTRATN BY KELLY CAMERO / THE DAILY BEAST / GETTY LET’S BE HONT—SPE THE ROMANTIC OVERTON OF THE SCENE, THEIR BRIEF EXCHANGE TELLS EVERYTHG ABOUT HOW THEY SEE EACH OTHER. KEN DON’T MENTN ANYTHG ABOUT BARBIE’S BODY, STEAD HIGHLIGHTG HER LEG WARMERS. BUT BARBIE IS UNSUBTLY TRYG TO SCE KEN JT TWO WORDS. SHE’S AFTER KEN, BUT KEN IS AFTER SOMEONE WHOSE CLOTH HE N ADMIRE.SURE, LATER THE FILM, KEN AND BARBIE SAY “I LOVE YOU” TO EACH OTHER. AND THEY GO BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN SAYG EACH WORD OF “I LOVE YOU”—SO SOMEONE DIFFERENT N SAY “LOVE” EACH TIME, AS KEN EXPLAS. HE MENTNS OFFHAND THAT HE HAS EVERYTHG EXCEPT SOMEONE TO SHARE WH. BARBIE AND KEN EVEN NUZZLE THEIR NOS TOGETHER. Y, THERE’S FELY LOVE BETWEEN IENDS—BUT THROUGH ALL, THERE’S NOT A HT OF SEXUAL CHEMISTRY.LOOK, I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THKG—SIR, THIS IS TOY STORY; WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU EXPECTG? IF YOU LOOK AT OTHER ROMANC THE ANCHISE—WOODY AND BO PEEP, AND JSE AND BUZZ—THERE’S NO DOUBT THAT THERE’S REAL LOVE THERE BETWEEN THE SENTIENT TOYS. THEIR PASSN FOR ONE ANOTHER TRANSCENDS MORE THAN SIMPLY BEG TERTED EACH OTHER’S OUTFS. THE SAME NNOT BE SAID OF THE MATTEL DOLLS. THAT’S MA EVINT WHEN KEN FALLY GETS AN OPPORTUNY FOR TIMACY WH BARBIE. “THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS,” HE TELLS BARBIE WHEN THEY FALLY GO TO HIS DREAMHOE TOGETHER, HAVG PARENTS ALL OVER THE WORLD CLUTCHG THEIR PEARLS. BUT FEAR NOT: KEN SIMPLY TAK BARBIE TO… HIS WALK- WARDROBE. ANY SEMBLANCE OF ROMANCE MAK WAY FOR IENDSHIP, WHEN THE PAIR JUBILANTLY PESE KEN’S OUTFS. AND STEAD OF DOG SOMETHG WILD LIKE KISSG BARBIE, KEN PUTS ON A FASHN SHOW FOR HER STEAD. THE FILM WON’T SAY , BUT A POST-CREDS PUNCHLE ABOUT KEN’S HANDWRG, PLETE WH HEARTS AND STARS SURROUNDG HIS NAME, TELLS WHAT WE NEED TO KNOW.THE HEAVILY IMPLIED NATURE OF KEN’S GAYNS TOY STORY 3 HARKENS BACK TO HOLLYWOOD’S TRADNAL GAY BT IEND-TYPE CHARACTERS. IN THE HAYS CO ERA, EXPLIC REFERENC TO HOMOSEXUALY WEREN’T ALLOWED, SO CHARACTERS LIKE VAN BUREN (FRANKL PANGBORN) 1937’S EASY LIVG, KIP (DAVID WAYNE) 1949’S ADAM’S RIB, OR ADDISON (GEE SANRS) 1950’S ALL ABOUT EVE STEAD WERE IMBUED WH EFFEMATE CHARACTERISTICS, OFFERG A GLIMPSE OUTSI OF HETERONORMATIVY WHOUT EXPLICLY BEG QUEER.NONE OF THE CHARACTERS WERE THE SAME—SOME WERE TTY, OTHERS SWEET. SOME HAD ULTERR MOTIV, AND OTHERS OFFERED UNNDNAL SUPPORT. BUT EACH OF THE GAY BT IENDS WAS TRSILLY FED BY THEIR RELATNSHIPS WH THEIR STRAIGHT IENDS. WE NEVER REALLY LEARNED MUCH ABOUT THEM AS DIVIDUALS. THEY LIVED ON THE MARGS, FLHG OUT THEIR STRAIGHT UNTERPARTS, HARDLY HAVG A PURPOSE WHOUT THEM; THAT PORTRAYAL REMAS TE TODAY. PHOTO ILLTRATN BY KELLY CAMERO / THE DAILY BEAST / PHOTOS BY GETTY / WARNER BROS. DES LATER, 2010, THE GAY BT IEND WAS ALL THE RAGE; TEEN VOGUE EVEN WENT SO FAR AS TO PROCLAIM THE GBF AS THE SUMMER’S MT-HAVE ACCSORY. BUT UNLIKE THE FIRST HALF OF THE 20TH CENTURY, TODAY’S CEMA, THE GBF IS ALLOWED TO BE OPENLY GAY. AT THE SAME TIME, THEY STILL BARELY REGISTER AS PEOPLE WH CHARACTER TRAS BEYOND THEIR RELATNSHIPS WH THEIR STRAIGHT UNTERPARTS. IN MOVI LIKE MEAN GIRLS (2004), THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA (2006), EASY A (2010), NO STRGS ATTACHED (2011), AND ISN’T IT ROMANTIC (2019), GAY IENDS EXIST ENTIRELY THE ORB OF THEIR FEMALE IENDS. IT’S SUCH A STRONG TROPE THAT EVEN PERSISTS QUEER ROMANTIC EDI: 2020’S HAPPIT SEASON FDS JOHN (DAN LEVY) OFFERG ADVICE AND SNARKY ONE-LERS TO HIS LBIAN BTIE LI OF MEANGFUL CHARACTER VELOPMENT.IN TOY STORY 3, THE SAME IS TE OF KEN. HIS EXISTENCE PENDS ON AND CIRCULAT AROUND BARBIE. IN BARBIE, KEN HAS FOUND SOMEONE WHO REALLY UNRSTANDS HIM. HE DON’T GET ALONG WH THE OTHER TOYS, WHO MOCK HIM FOR BEG A “GIRL'S TOY.” BUT BARBIE LOV FASHN, JT LIKE HE DO. “NO ONE APPRECIAT CLOTH HERE, BARBIE,” KEN LAMENTS TO BARBIE, ABOUT THE OTHER TOYS’ TREATMENT OF HIM. “NO ONE!” BUT BARBIE DO, AND FOR KEN, THAT’S LIFE-CHANGG.THERE ARE PLENTY OF REASONS WHY THE FILM WOULDN’T OUTRIGHTLY STATE THAT KEN IS HOMOSEXUAL. NOT ONLY DO DISNEY SELF HAVE A PLITED HISTORY WH QUEER CHARACTERS, BUT KEN AND BARBIE ARE ALSO THE PROPERTY OF MATTEL, WHICH HAS ALWAYS BEEN STEADFAST ASSERTG KEN’S HETEROSEXUALY. THAT’S NEVER BEEN CLEARER THAN 1993 WHEN THE TOY PANY TRIED TO REIGNE KEN’S POPULARY MATTEL’S SOLUTN? EARRG MAGIC KEN. EARRG MAGIC KEN WAS A FIERCER, FELY MORE QUEER KEN THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS VERSN OF THE DOLL HAD BLEACHED BLON HAIR, A PURPLE LEATHER VT (!), A PK-PURPLE MH TOP (!!), AND OF URSE, AND EARRG THE “GAY EAR”. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL: AROUND KEN’S NECK WAS SOMETHG THAT ANY ACTIVE PARTICIPANT OF THE QUEER SCENE THE ’90S REGNIZED STANTLY—A CK RG (!!!).THE EARRG MAGIC KEN TURNED BARBIE’S BOYIEND TO AN OUT-AND-PROUD HOMOSEXUAL RAVER. MATTEL, OF URSE, VEHEMENTLY NIED ANY CLAIMS THAT KEN WAS GAY, LET ALONE THAT HE HAD SOMETHG AS PREPOSTERO AS A CK RG AROUND HIS NECK. AS LISA MCKENDALL, FORMER MANAGER OF MARKETG AND MUNITNS, SAID AN TERVIEW ABOUT THE DOLL, “WE’RE NOT THE BS OF PUTTG CK RGS TO THE HANDS OF LTLE GIRLS.”REGARDLS OF MATTEL’S TENTNS, ’S HARD TO NY WHAT THE EYE N SEE. DPE THE NAME, CK RGS AT THE TIME WERE ED AS A FASHN ACCSORY AND A SIGN OF FIANT QUEERNS AND SEX POSIVY. AS A RULT, GAY MEN BOUGHT THE DOLL DROV, AND SPE MATTEL ULTIMATELY RELLG THE DOLL AND WIPG AWAY ANY TRACE OF EARRG MAGIC KEN, WAS NEAR-IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE KEN AS ANYTHG BUT THE GLOR HOMOSEXUAL HE WAS BORN TO BE OM THEN ON. MATTEL SPENT THE NEXT UPLE OF S TRYG TO RETA KEN’S MORE HETERONORMATIVE, MASCULE IMAGE, BUT THE VEIL WAS LIFTED, AND THERE WAS NO GOG BACK. PHOTO ILLTRATN BY KELLY CAMERO/THE DAILY BEAST/PHOTOS BY GETTY/WARNER BROS. THOUGH MATTEL DON’T SEEM TO BE WILLG TO SAY KEN IS ACTUALLY GAY, THE KEN DOLLS OF RECENT YEARS SEEM TO REALLY LEAN TO KEN’S QUEERNS. THE YASSIFITN OF KEN IS CLEARLY UNRWAY. WHILE THERE IS NO WAY TO “DRS GAY,” THERE ARE SEVERAL DOLLS THAT SEEM TO SUGGT OTHERWISE, SUCH AS:FASHNISTA KEN #193, WHO LOOKS VERY EXCED TO TELL YOU ABOUT HIS NEW OBSSN, TROYE SIVAN;TRAVEL KEN DOLL, WHO HAS A SATCHEL PERFECT FOR BATHHO AND A PURPLE OVERNIGHT BAG THAT LERALLY PROCLAIMS HE’S “EXTRA;”KEN LOOKS DOLL, SERVG “I’M GONNA GIVE YOU A MAKEOVER”-TYPE REALNS WHILE SPORTG BLACK PLEATHER PANTS;THIS KEN, WHO WEARS THE LEAST HETEROSEXUAL DOUBLE NIM IMAGABLE.WHILE I HAVE A FEELG THE NEW BARBIE MOVIE WILL PUT THE WORK TO NVCE THAT KEN IS A HETERO DU WHO LOV NOTHG LIFE MORE THAN BARBIE HERSELF, THE WRG’S ALREADY ON THE WALL: KEN IS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, BARBIE’S GAY BT IEND.KEEP OBSSG! SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY BEAST’S OBSSED NEWSLETTER AND FOLLOW ON FACEBOOK, TWTER, INSTAGRAM AND TIKTOK.READ MORE OF OUR BARBIE VERAGE HERE. BARRY LEVT

Gay men who disclose their sexual orientatn to their straight male iends earlier life may be able to build more open and hont iendships wh them to adulthood. Send, recent rearch has argued that genr and sexual orientatn might not be as black and whe as prevly thought, which opens up new avenu for explorg how gay and straight men n relate to one another.

If a straight guy and his gay male iend are ls rigid about their masculy and sexualy, they’ll probably be more likely to discs tails about their sexual and romantic liv openly wh one another.

In short, women are able to tst the datg advice om gay male iends bee they know their gay iends don’t have any ulterr motiv: They’re not tryg to hook up wh them or pete wh them for guys. Jt as a gay man might be able to pass on advice about women to his straight iend, a straight man uld nnect his gay male iend wh another sirable gay man, sce neher the gay man nor his straight iend are petg for the same person.

MEN AND WOMEN AS FRIENDS – WHEN ONE IS GAY OR LBIAN

We believe that havg a tstworthy nfidant to help wh romantic pursus is one of the major reasons straight and gay men are leavg the fort of their same-sex, same-orientatn iend groups to form “bromosexual” iendships. ”Wolf had sought refuge Florida 15 years ago when he was done wh ral Oregon, the childhood home where he suffered embedd racism and homophobia on a daily basis. Among his motivatns for wrg the book was to reclaim tersectnaly om DeSantis and others on the right who seek to hijack explas: “I wanted to give a human flavour to what tersectnaly actually looks and feels like and what feels like to experience racism and homophobia at the same time.

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

Growg up a nservative majory whe town was difficult bee the same kid who would ll me the N-word on one day would ll me a homophobic slur on another day and I was nstantly navigatg the tersectns of those two thgs. Last month DeSantis’s mpaign released an anti-LGBTQ+ vio assailg Tmp for his past support of gay and transgenr ments: “It is a sry time to be not jt LGBTQ but LGBTQ and Black this state and ultimately that’s the tent. Sex the Cy, Will and Grace), though a lot ls has been said about how gay and straight men regnize and negotiate the distct challeng, plitns, and rewards of their iendships.

S., before there was such a thg as a gay inty, some straight men would, wh ltle shame, engage sexual ntact wh other men (ually allowg themselv to be fellated) when female partners were otherwise unavailable (see Gee Chncey’s semal book, Gay New York: Genr, Urban Culture, and the Makg of the Gay Male World 1890-1940) and there is good reason to believe this still occurs other untri and cultur.

Gay men have suffered physil, social, and psychologil abe at the hands of heterosexually intified mal who, thanks to homophobia and heterosexism, felt fully jtified flictg the terrors. This legacy of vlence, both physil and psychologil, flicted by straight men toward those of who are gay naturally fuels our utn and distst at the thought of beiendg them. For the straight guy, iendship wh a gay man offers the opportuny to learn important lsons about masculy, male inty, sexual orientatn, and diversy.