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It sounds like such a simple qutn, but fdg the answer n be so much trickier than you might thk. Why? Bee 's a qutn only you n answer. 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class="css-1fyfv5q exadjwu8"><p>Let's get real about sexualy.</p></div><style data-emotn="css 7lmlrx">{marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;} span{le-height:1.6;}</style><div class="css-7lmlrx exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css rkt8">{font-style:normal;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><addrs class="css-rkt8 ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css q8brce">{paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><span class="css-q8brce ehvvd9m1"><style data-emotn="css 1sa04t">{borr-radi:50%;vertil-align:middle;marg-right:0.3125rem;object-f:ver;}</style><img src="" alt="Headshot of Alison Caporimo" tle="Headshot of Alison Caporimo" width="40" height="40" dg="async" fetchPrry="high" class=" css-1sa04t ehvvd9m0" />By <style data-emotn="css 7l5upj">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/17433/alison-porimo/" class="css-7l5upj e1c1bym14">Alison Caporimo</a></span><style data-emotn="css w0ebia">{display:le-block;text-transform:upperse;marg-left:0.625rem;}</style><time class="css-w0ebia exadjwu6">Updated: Jun 2, 2021</time></addrs></div></div></div></hear><style data-emotn="css k008qs">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;}</style><div class="css-k008qs ewisyje0"><style data-emotn="css 7ce51e">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{max-width:lc(100vw - (1rem * 2));marg-left:1rem;marg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(-1 * 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 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whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;top:50%;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-1iiivv4 e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in</tle><sc>The triangle in that dit to play</sc><path d="M22 12 7 20.66V3.34L22 12Z"></path></svg></button><style data-emotn="css 157wciq">{width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;cursor:poter;}</style><style data-emotn="css g939jb">{width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;cursor:poter;}</style><img fetchPrry="high" alt="preview for Is Virgy Even a Real Thg? | Seggs Ed wh Hayl | Seventeen" tle="Vio player poster image" width="2000" height="1000" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="e1f7ylgd5 css-g939jb exi4f7p0" /></div></div></div></div><style data-emotn="css z6i669">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-z6i669 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css 18vfmjb">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">"Am I gay?" It sounds like such a simple qutn, but fdg the answer n be so much trickier than you might thk. Why? Bee 's a qutn only you n answer. You n't ask a teacher or a parent or your bt iend or Google or even Seventeen and get a "y" or a "no." And while would be so nice to shake a magic 8 ball and get some clary here, 's actually ccial for you to e to the answer all on your own.</p><p data-no-id="1" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Here are some thgs to keep md if you're thkg you might be gay:</p><style data-emotn="css 10bmbge">{font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;marg-top:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.625rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.1;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><h2 data-no-id="2" class="body-h4 css-10bmbge et3p2gv0">You're not alone.</h2><p data-no-id="3" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">If you're thkg that you might be gay, then know that you have a whole built- support group of wonrful and diverse people who are jt wag to meet you. What's tly betiful about beg the LGBTQ muny is that is so expansive. It clus people of every race and relign. Your body n be any size and you n be gay. You n be disabled and be gay. Everyone is wele to the table, and you're bound to meet some pretty credible humans once you take a seat.</p><h2 data-no-id="5" class="body-h4 css-10bmbge et3p2gv0">It's ok if you don't have answers.</h2><p data-no-id="6" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">There's a huge leap om "I feel a ltle different" to "I'm a mascule-of-center genrqueer gay woman." I remember kissg girls high school, and then llege, but havg boyiends along the way. I kept wag to be h by some bolt of lighteng that would show me that I was unniably, 100%, totally, purely gay. But, tbh, the procs was a lot quieter than that. I kissed girls and I liked , but I still liked guys. And then I actually dated a girl, and I realized that felt the same as datg a guy but better. And then I thought, 'Huh. I mt be gay.' Jt like that. </p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="7" data-embed="edorial-lk" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><style data-emotn="css qsosw3">{borr:th solid #CDCDCD;marg-top:1.875rem;marg-bottom:1.875rem;paddg:1.25rem;}</style><asi class="css-qsosw3 e6pr2lz5"><style data-emotn="css 1q3cish">{display:block;font-weight:bold;marg:0rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.2;letter-spacg:0.05rem;text-transform:upperse;}</style><h6 class="css-1q3cish e6pr2lz3"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 8lle59">{max-width:lc(100% - 120px - .625rem);}</style><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Related Story</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css c4s2gi">{paddg:0rem;marg:0rem;list-style:none;}</style><ul class="css-c4s2gi e6pr2lz4"><style data-emotn="css 1uquqpo">{borr-bottom:none;lor:#000000;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-weight:bold;marg-bottom:0.3125rem;paddg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:1rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.3;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;}</style><li class="css-1uquqpo e6pr2lz2"><style data-emotn="css 1bn7a5e">{-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-box-flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-wrap:wrap;-ms-flex-wrap:wrap;flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-directn:row;-ms-flex-directn:row;flex-directn:row;-webk-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webk-jtify-ntent:flex-start;jtify-ntent:flex-start;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><a href="/celebry/g27228640/bisexual-celebri/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="29 Celebri Who Have Come Out as Bisexual" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 1l0u1">{marg-right:0.625rem;height:to;}</style><img src="" alt="bisexual celebri" tle="29 Celebri Who Have Come Out as Bisexual" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">29 Celebri Who Have Come Out as Bisexual</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li></ul></asi></div><p data-no-id="8" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">And you know what? The world didn't end and I didn't feel like a totally different person — I jt felt like I had taken a small step towards who I tly am si. And that feels good. And ever sce that day, there have been a ln more steps as I've acquired more language to scribe myself and my inty. As long as you're listeng to yourself, you n't go wrong.</p><h2 data-no-id="9" class="body-h4 css-10bmbge et3p2gv0">Your feelgs might change, and they might not.</h2><p data-no-id="10" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Comg out for the first time n feel so fal, but 's actually not the end ('s jt the begng!). You're gog to e out so much the urse of your life ( llege, on dat, when you meet new people, etc.), and each time you do, you get to fe where you are wh your inty that moment.</p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="11" data-embed="edorial-lk" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><asi class="css-qsosw3 e6pr2lz5"><h6 class="css-1q3cish e6pr2lz3"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Related Story</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><ul class="css-c4s2gi e6pr2lz4"><li class="css-1uquqpo e6pr2lz2"><a href="/life/g32577915/lgbtq-pri-flags/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Celebrate Pri Month Wh 21 LGBTQ+ Pri Flags" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="pri flags" tle="Celebrate Pri Month Wh 21 LGBTQ+ Pri Flags" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Celebrate Pri Month Wh 21 LGBTQ+ Pri Flags</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li></ul></asi></div><p data-no-id="12" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">And, while we're on the topic, cut yourself a ltle slack the g out partment, ok? Can you image if every feelg you had at the age of 12 beme somethg that was set stone? If that were te, you'd be a vet wh a purple race r and a bet full of Sour Patch kids wonrg how you got to this pot your life. Thgs change and evolve as you grow, and that's 100% ok. What your sexual orientatn or genr inty feels like today might not be how will feel 1 year or 10 years. Don't punish yourself for dog the legwork to figure out who you are.</p><h2 data-no-id="13" class="body-h4 css-10bmbge et3p2gv0">Your safety first.</h2><p data-no-id="14" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Your safety means everythg, and sometim beg out might make you feel like a target. If 's ever unsafe for you to be out, take that to nsiratn. You're not beg unte to yourself if you are a suatn where self-prervatn is necsary. There will always be time to e out. If you feel unsafe, 's perfectly fe to wa out.</p><h2 data-no-id="15" class="body-h4 css-10bmbge et3p2gv0">Brg queer voic to your life.</h2><p data-no-id="16" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Comg out n feel very lonely at first. If you fd that you're not a posn to e out publicly and you feel isolated as a rult of that, try to rporate queer voic to your private life. For example, listen to podsts like <style data-emotn="css lec2h6">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;background-image:lear-gradient( to bottom, rgba(241, 220, 225, 1), rgba(241, 220, 225, 1));-webk-background-posn:0 100%;background-posn:0 100%;background-repeat:repeat-x;-webk-background-size:0 0;background-size:0 0;paddg-top:0.05rem;paddg-bottom:0.05rem;}{lor:#000000;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;-webk-background-size:.625rem 3.125rem;background-size:.625rem 3.125rem;}</style><a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Nancy" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">Nancy</a> and fd iendship credible hosts who provi sight to issu and ias that are important to you. Read a book that highlights a dimensnal queer narrative (you n fd a list of them <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="here" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">here</a>) and bge-watch <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="TV shows that feature pellg LGBTQ characters" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">TV shows that feature pellg LGBTQ characters</a>. Queer culture is a thg of bety. Dig to !</p><h2 data-no-id="17" class="body-h4 css-10bmbge et3p2gv0">Know where you n go to get support.</h2><p data-no-id="18" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">You might be wonrg if you're gay, but you don't have anyone your life to turn to wh qutns and ncerns. Fret not, iend. There are so many credible rourc where you n fd support. For one, check out <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="GLAAD" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">GLAAD</a>, the world’s largt LGBTQ media advocy anizatn, to fd out how you n get volved your muny. Also, take a look at their <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="glossary of terms" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">glossary of terms</a>. As we all know, 's so hard to scribe what you're feelg when you don't have the language to pture . Read up on the difference between thgs like <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="genr inty and sexual orientatn" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">genr inty and sexual orientatn</a> so you n get a better grasp of what's gog on your head and heart.</p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="19" data-embed="edorial-lk" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><asi class="css-qsosw3 e6pr2lz5"><h6 class="css-1q3cish e6pr2lz3"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Related Story</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><ul class="css-c4s2gi e6pr2lz4"><li class="css-1uquqpo e6pr2lz2"><a href="/life/a36557260/trans-nonbary-teens-genrol-kids-book-pri-2021/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="What We Know About A Kids Book About x GenrCool " data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="genrol bundle books a kids book about pri lgbtq clive transgenr nonbary" tle="What We Know About A Kids Book About x GenrCool " width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">What We Know About A Kids Book About x GenrCool </span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li></ul></asi></div><p data-no-id="20" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Here are a few other anizatns where you n fd supportive muni and so much more:</p><style data-emotn="css 1rk79nl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;marg:0.9375rem 0 0 0.625rem;paddg:0 0 0 1.25rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:0.9375rem 0;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;} li{paddg-bottom:0.625rem;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} li::marker{lor:#323232;}</style><ul data-no-id="21" class="css-1rk79nl et3p2gv0"><li><a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="The Trevor Project" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">The Trevor Project</a>: A natnal anizatn providg crisis terventn and suici preventn servic to lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr and qutng (LGBTQ) young people ag 13-24.</li><li> <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="It Gets Better Project" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">It Gets Better Project</a>: A nonprof anizatn wh a missn to uplift, empower, and nnect lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and queer youth around the globe.</li><li><a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Trans Lifele" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">Trans Lifele</a>: A non-prof dited to the well beg of transgenr people.</li></ul><p data-no-id="22" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Want to learn more about g out? Watch this vio below and follow Seventeen's LGBTQ-foced social channel <em>Here</em> on <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Facebook" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">Facebook</a> and <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Instagram" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">Instagram</a>.</p><style data-emotn="css 1v2eakg">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:90%;}}{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:95%;}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:75%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:65%;}}</style><div data-no-id="23" data-teractive="VioPlayer-1" class="embed aspect-rat-16x9 css-1v2eakg e3dq3y0"><div class="__rp-ntaer css-1ui7hop e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-1iiivv4 e1f7ylgd1"><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in

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18.0069 0.949203 18.0386 1.01741 18.0386C1.24851 18.0386 1.36772 17.9194 1.468 17.8191L1.47044 17.8167L1.47048 17.8167L1.47237 17.8147C4.05847 15.0296 7.24136 12.9379 10.3286 11.4415L13.3051 11.9376L13.3049 11.9386H13.3174H13.4174C13.7605 11.9386 13.9823 11.7062 14.0886 11.3873C14.1492 11.2053 14.0859 11.0291 13.976 10.8918C13.8663 10.7546 13.7038 10.6467 13.5411 10.5925L13.5415 10.5914L13.5288 10.5895Z' fill='black' stroke='black' stroke-width='0.15'/></svg></div><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/health" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Health</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><div data-ttid="navigatn__nav-em-in" class="NavigatnItemIn-bpcxDt hLTmGs"><svg xmlns='' width='22' height='22' viewBox='0 0 22 22'><g fill-le='evenodd'><path d='M14.751 4.059c-1.75 0-3.203 1.309-4.016 2.242C9.922 5.368 8.47 4.06 6.72 4.06A4.726 4.726 0 0 0 2 8.779c0 1.866 6.623 8.133 8.652 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class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs elpfHZ ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp lkJlKO"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT dmqhlj"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX cJdXjE bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Love</span></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd bjcNOB gydgrM">If You’re Not Sure You’re ‘Allowed’ to Intify as Bisexual, Read This</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ bZgCVT">There are so many ways to be bisexual.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gKcujo byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fPqUbj IWACp eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/melissa-a-fabello">Melissa A. Fabello</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2020-01-31T15:51:56-05:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd danQKH MlCHH">January 31, 2020</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP cAlrhp lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc bjtV lead-asset--width-small" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz iqnk"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="For Years I Wasnt Sure I Was ‘Allowed to Intify as Bisexual" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE qDPBn ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN loMSDX"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred">Getty Imag/ Jena Arll</span></div></div></figure><div data-ttid="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor" class="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor-jYVcDc djtEof"></div></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg fgMkJI social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>My bt iend and I were on the b g home om school the seventh gra, and we were almost at our stop. For the entire ri, she had been avoidg tellg me the name of her new csh, who had been leavg her <a href=">forlorn and mopey</a> for weeks. I was gettg impatient.</p><p>“I need to tell you somethg first,” she said, avoidg my ey. “I’m <a href=">bisexual</a>.”</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>“Okay,” I said slowly, elongatg the send vowel. I had never heard that word before. “What do that mean?”</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Wh the nfince that the oler bt iend tends to exu when explag a sndalo new topic (at least middle school), she said, “It means that I like boys <em>and</em> I like girls.”</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="p0o3uu"></div></div><p>And then I shouted, “Oh, my God, I’m that too!”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Bisexualy is more plited than that, of urse. Like her sister inti, such as <a href=">pansexualy</a> and omnisexualy, bisexualy impli an attractn to multiple (or all) genrs. (If you're wonrg, “<a href=">What is pansexualy</a>?" here's what you need to know). The simplifitn of beg attracted to men and women (pecially where the genrs are assumed to be cis) is not only rrect but also harmful. But as a kid whout a ep unrstandg of genr, I was nohels stck by my bt iend’s fn.</p><p>You see, growg up, I was nfed. Many queer kids have a siar experience: We’re prented wh only one optn of what relatnships look like—cis man pl cis woman equals te love forever!—and we n sometim sense early on that somethg about our ternal experience feels different.</p><p>In the fifth gra, when a iend of me sneered that I was gay as an sult, I thought maybe I had land on a name for what I felt. But I went home and asked my dad what that meant, and still didn’t f. I wasn’t straight like I was supposed to be, but damn , I wasn’t this untercultural “gay” thg eher.</p><p>I felt stuck. As I saw at the time, there were girls who were attracted to boys, and there were girls who were attracted to girls, but no matter how hard I tried, I uldn’t simply pick one. I was both—and I thought I was the only one.</p><p>Learng the word <em>bisexual</em> on the b that day a uple of years later was an unfettably powerful moment of validatn. Not only was there a name for what I felt, but I wasn’t alone after all.</p><p>Unfortunately, my road to strong, assured bisexual inty was riddled wh pothol, as is for many of . Over the urse of my life, bee I ternalized so much <a href=">stigma around bisexualy</a>, I’ve stggled wh claimg this inty that at first felt ctom-ma for me.</p><hr/><p>I started datg my first love, a woman, when I was 15. It was wh her that I had <a href=">my first sexual experience</a>. I was very fortable intifyg as bisexual then. I had csh galore, and genr felt irrelevant to my attractns. I also helped start the Gay/Straight Alliance at my high school. Sure, people mistook me for a lbian and hurled associated slurs at me, but I felt solid my bisexualy.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="88ufae"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="dj9owo"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>When I later started datg a man, though, I felt a signifint shift. Sudnly, my peers qutned my queerns. Even my boyiend at the time told me, pot-blank, “No one is bisexual forever. You eventually have to choose.” But stead of qutng our msed-up unrstandg of sexualy, doubt started creepg to my heart stead: <em>Would</em> I eventually have to choose?</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>For many years after that, I dated cis men almost exclively, mostly as a rult of nvenience. I still intified as bisexual, bee I had csh, went on dat wh, and hooked up wh people of var genrs. But the love terts who tend to stick, who wanted me most, were cis men. I was even engaged to one before I graduated om llege! Eventually, this led me the oppose directn of what you might assume: My sexual boredom and sometim even disgt wh the men I dated led me to believe I was, and always had been, super gay after all.</p><p>So, my early 20s, I threw myself a new directn and got eply volved my lol queer muny. I dated only women for a few years, intified as a lbian, started a blog for queer femm, and eventually got to a long-term, live- relatnship wh a woman. I me out anew—only to be shocked when I later fell for a man all over aga. I tried donng a “homoflexible” label for a few years, but two boyiends later I had to s back and take a good look at my inty and why my perceptn of kept shiftg seemgly so drastilly.</p><p>What I didn’t unrstand as I tried on the different labels was that isn’t simply our behavr that dictat who we are. It’s also our ternal experience and how we choose to scribe . The normative unrstandg of bisexualy tends to falsely fe as a strict set of feelgs and actns: We’re told that bisexualy means havg equal attractn to multiple genrs and engagg wh them romantilly and sexually siar amounts. Not only is this an credibly rctive way to unrstand sexualy, but also leav many people grapplg wh whether they’re “allowed” to intify as bisexual when their experienc don’t align wh this narrow fn. That’s what happened to me before I realized I was thkg about all wrong.</p><hr/><p>It took years for me to realize that sexual fluidy (the experience of sexual inty as flowg and fluctuatg) is legimate. Now I’m fortable wh the ia that my attractns sometim shift, and wh that sometim inty chang, which are also valid.</p><p>But ’s worth qutng why bisexualy as a label kept slippg away om me, spe attractn to multiple genrs always beg a part of my sexual experience.</p><p>What do actually <em>mean</em> to be bisexual? And who is allowed to claim ?</p><p>Over the years, I’ve created and nurtured relatnships my muny wh other bisexual people, and women particular. I n’t tell you how many tim I’ve heard of this mon experience, which often throws people to a spiral of validatn: A cis woman is attracted to multiple genrs, but for var reasons has only ever engaged romantilly and/or sexually wh cis men. Maybe she regnized her attractn to others later life and is, at that pot, a <a href=">monogamo</a> life partnership already. Maybe she feels unfortable—like an imposter— queer spac, so she hasn’t been able to meet, let alone date, anyone except cis men. Maybe her cy, fay, or culture is nservative, and livg her life thentilly uld be dangero to her. She knows her heart where her attractns lie, but her experience betrays that. Is <em>she</em> bisexual?</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="ewlaqv"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-198"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt fIrqYK">Most Popular</div><ul class="RecircMostPopularItems-dCAajf gqcRrp"><li><div 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class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Ashia Aubourg</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw bGBSrw ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="z0865"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs fObDao"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="hdzc1s"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Well, yeah. If that’s what she wants to ll herself, which is up to her.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>When I was graduate school, workg toward a master’s and then a doctorate gree Human Sexualy Studi, I was troduced to the Orientatn, Behavr, and Inty (OBI) Mol. Popularized by Brent A. Satterly, Ph.D., and siar to s more famo precsors, <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">the Ksey Sle</a> and <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">the Kle Grid</a>, aimed to be a simple amework for unrstandg the plexi of human sexualy experienc.</p><p>The OBI Mol poss that our orientatn (who we’re naturally attracted to), behavr (who we engage wh romantilly or sexually, cludg through <a href=">fantasi</a>), and inty (how we scribe ourselv) exist on pennt sl, and there are endls batns beyond the dictnary fn of any given sexualy. It says “not so fast” to the pervasive myth that orr to <em>intify</em> as bisexual, you mt be attracted to all (or multiple) genrs equally, and you mt be romantic and sexual wh all (or multiple) genrs equally. Sudnly, the puzzle piec of tryg to unrstand my own sexualy fell to place.</p><p>If you too have been grapplg wh your sexualy or sexual inty, here’s how the OBI mol suggts thkg of :</p><ul><li>Orientatn: Which genrs do you fd yourself naturally cled toward? Which genrs do you tend to be attracted to or have csh on? Who piqu your tert?</li><li>Behavr: Which genrs do you tend to have romantic and/or sexual relatnships wh? When actively datg, who are you searchg for? Which genrs do you fantasize about?</li><li>Inty: How do you scribe your ternal sense of sexual self? Which words feel ftg to you and do you feel fortable donng (even privately)? How do you see yourself as a sexual person?</li></ul><p>Here’s how that plays out for me: I fd myself attracted to people of all genrs, although some far more often than others. Most of my romantic and sexual behavr has been wh cis men and cis women, but not all of , and I choose not to actively go out of my way to date (particularly cis) men. I intify as bisexual and pansexual terchangeably bee those words scribe my experience of attractn to all genrs; I also intify as queer, particularly polilly. But I make a pot to e the term <em>bisexual</em> as often as possible to bat the notn that someone else’s ia of bisexualy f me.</p><p>Bisexualy n look like primarily beg attracted to and/or datg one genr, while also havg tert others. It n look like makg a nsc choice to date one group of people over another, spe broar attractn. It n look perfectly portned wh equal experience across genrs. Or, like wh my own experience, bisexualy n look like shiftg external behavr wh a static orientatn.</p><p>Ultimately, bisexualy isn’t a phase or a nfn or a burn. It’s a legimate experience and inty. And any outsi disbelief or ternalized imposter syndrome that up for likely isn’t the flt of bisexualy self, but of a culture that don’t give the tools to talk about ourselv thentilly.</p><p><strong>Related:</strong></p><ul><li><a href=">How Alice ‘The L Word’ Affirmed My Inty as a Bisexual Woman</a></li><li><a href=">This Is What It’s Like to Come Out Your 30s or Later</a></li><li><a href=">I’m a Bisexual Guy, and No, It’s Not Jt a Phase</a></li></ul></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="3ut97s"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="ContributorsWrapper-eNpWFu hEUvfU ntributors" data-ttid="Contributors"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="TextBlockWrapper-bNZsMC dTomOc StyledTextblock-SJflO kHgSzz disclaimer grid-layout__ntent"><p class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TextBlockText-gtrMkY iUEiRd Pbwma kQegaj">SELF do not provi medil advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any rmatn published on this webse or by this brand is not tend as a substute for medil advice, and you should not take any actn before nsultg wh a healthre profsnal.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div data-ttid="TagCloudWrapper" class="TagCloudWrapper-gGgndx iPNP ContentFooterTagCloud-krQmRG ZLGh"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudSectnHear-cOforY iUEiRd kgktQt kQQRmu">Topics</span><a href="/topic/bisexualy" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fPqUbj iAqPKp hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd hJhJHy bUkXwu">bisexualy</span></a><a href="/topic/relatnships" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fPqUbj iAqPKp hIhJOI"><span 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summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Stop Comparg Your Current Body to Your Former One" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Stop Comparg Your Current Body to Your Former One</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">It’s easy to romanticize the past, but we’re not meant to look the same our whole liv.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Everyone Has Relatnship Deal-Breakers. Here’s How to Intify Yours" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Everyone Has Relatnship Deal-Breakers. Here’s How to Intify Yours</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Pl the bt, non-awkward ways to brg them up.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Gabrielle Unn Said Therapy Undid ‘the Constant Need to Be Validated’ for Her Looks" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Gabrielle Unn Said Therapy Undid ‘the Constant Need to Be Validated’ for Her Looks</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Her ssns also led to a perspective-shiftg talk wh her dad about race, bety, and self-worth.</div></div></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="ggubnh"></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="7 Therapist Red Flags You Should Never Ignore" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">7 Therapist Red Flags You Should Never Ignore</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">There are some not-so-obv thgs a mental health profsnal should never do.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-5" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Kelly Clarkson Said She ‘Wouldn’t Have Ma It’ Through Her Divorce Whout Antiprsants" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-5" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Kelly Clarkson Said She ‘Wouldn’t Have Ma It’ Through Her Divorce Whout Antiprsants</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">“I looked at my therapist and I jt uldn’t stop sobbg,” she relled.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-6" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Grieve and Eventually Move On After a Friend Dumps You" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-6" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Grieve and Eventually Move On After a Friend Dumps You</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Confn, anger, and sadns are totally normal when you’ve lost your person.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-7" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="We Will Survive: The Ultimate Queer Anthems Workout Playlist" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-7" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">We Will Survive: The Ultimate Queer Anthems Workout Playlist</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Your heart will go “Padam, Padam” for the.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-8" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Have Safe Sex Wh Genal Herp" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-8" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Have Safe Sex Wh Genal Herp</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">There’s a ton of misrmatn around this super-mon STI—but a diagnosis don’t spell doom for your hookups.</div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridToActnWrapper-gnReGN eGayfk"></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="TaboolaWrapper-hMVdpE iYfBhy"><div 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