I'm 43 – but I'm ma to feel like a dosr by younger gay men | Metro News

Contents:

• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD
• 17 SIGNS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GAY (AND JT DON'T KNOW IT)
• AM I GAY OR NOT QUIZ?
• YOU’RE NOT GAY
• YOU’RE MOM GAY
• AM I GAY? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY?
• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
• THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH
• AM I GAY?
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label. Bee “gay” impli an embracg of the gay liftyle — gay bars, gay pri paras, perhaps multiple sex partners, or even anonymo sex. Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia.

I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them. I have treated many men who are of Mormon, Orthodox Jewish, Catholic, and other religns who thk of homosexualy as a pathology. Their pa is excciatg, but I honor their bravery riskg losg everythg to ensure they have a qualy life as a gay man.

They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight. Bee the labels “homosexual” or “gay” rry such a stigma, some of the men seek help for their “sex addictn” and see their homosexualy as an actg out of same-sex urg.

YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD

Beg homosexual, gay, or havg same-sex attractn is not sex addictn, and should never be treated as such. I am wrg for the benef of heterosexual folks who hope to e this article to unrstand their fears about beg gay (also known as gay OCD or HOCD).

17 SIGNS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GAY (AND JT DON'T KNOW IT)

Only ten mut after I had started readg the most recent posts, however, I realized that somethg was wrong: The folks wh gay fears were clearly not gay. It took another five mut for me to figure out what HOCD was and why so many people had gay obssns.

AM I GAY OR NOT QUIZ?

I would later learn that tly gay people may also get HOCD, but that they falsely fear that they are heterosexual. HOCD is an illns, and who but a gay HOCD sufferer would fear beg straight, the thg society priz? If I thought for a mute that even one of the straight HOCD sufferers on the board was gay, I would do the same for him or her.

YOU’RE NOT GAY

As of this wrg I have been bombard by threads, private msag, e-mail, and stant msag by straight folks terrified that they are gay (and a very small number of gay and bisexual folks terrified that they, too, are not their real sexual orientatn). Neverthels, is sufficiently wispread to warrant more specialists the field, more media exposure, and more unrstandg among therapists relativ, iends, and, pecially, gay people who give the wrong advice. HOCD works the same way: Heterosexual sufferers feel that the gay thoughts are real even though, their hearts, they know that they are straight.

STRAIGHT MALE HOCD SUFFERER: I know that I am gay, but I have only ever gotten hard wh girls.

GAY MALE IN THE CLOSET WITH NO HOCD: I know that I am gay, and I have only ever gotten hard wh guys. I was tght that gay stuff was disgtg, but when I thk of beg held by a man I get butterfli my stomach. The only anxiety I feel is over what others thk of gays and how I thk I’ll be treated by straight people power if they fd out about me.

YOU’RE MOM GAY

I don’t feel any anxiety when I thk about how lucky gay guys who are out of the closet mt be, and I wish I uld be like them.

When I saw rants like the first one last November, I knew that I was not alg wh gay folks at all. It’s the twenty first century and if someone’s gog to be a judgmental ltle hoe, then they don’t serve to be your v gay life. One of your top ten experienc was at a Pri para where you were surround by the most tertg, fun strangers you have ever enuntered, and no one you knew was there to judge you, or the only people you knew there were gay.

You sometim thk about what would be like to tell your parents, extend fay, and iends that you are gay.

AM I GAY? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY?

You believe equaly, love diversy, have liberal views, and are mted to seeg gay marriage legalized every untry. Numero scientists, psychologists, healthre profsnals, and even relig activists are batg the nature of homosexualy (as well as other kds of sexualy). In this Am I Gay quiz, we'll try to terme several mon signs of homosexualy and see how many you exhib.

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

Disregardg all evince that the ex-gay movement is credibly damagg to more than 90% of those who unrgo "treatment" (bee they clearly jt didn't believe God enough), Settg Captiv Free wants you to know that you were not "born this way. " Homosexualy is a s that you need to purge om your system, and the only way to do is to follow their three-parts-a-day the app is only downloadable om Google Play (iTun and the 69, 822+ people who petned them don't believe nversn therapy for some reason), there is an abridged versn available on the mistry’s webse. But Hont About Your S (But Not TOO Hont): Adm that you have homosexual tennci, but don’t say anythg else about .

Stop Callg Your Homosexualy an "Alternative Liftyle": It's "Wicked, " "Evil, " and a "S": The are the only thgs you should ever ll om now on, preferably hhed ton. Even better, feel ee to refer to your homosexualy wh water-based metaphors: It's a "broken cistern" that will never satisfy your thirst.

THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH

Change For the Right Reasons (the Glory Of God): After all, homosexualy is nothg but "lt, porn, and sexual immoraly, " ss that are applible only to gay people and never to straight on. Always Read Scripture, But Only the Parts We Tell You to: Who knew curg homosexualy uld be so much like dog high school homework? Remove Yourself From Anythg Even Remotely Gay: Don't watch porn (aga, 's only a gay thg), don't go on gay webs, and most of all, certaly don't associate wh gay people.

Any of those thgs might make you feel like your homosexualy is a natural part of your inty and n be accepted by those around you.

AM I GAY?

Realize That Beg Homosexual Mak You Feel Alone Fet that we told you to shut yourself away om most of the world, and ignore the ia that maybe gay people feel so alone bee of the discrimatory and hateful attus that they face, helped by people like . Rencile Wh Those Who Tried to Help You Stop Beg Gay: All those people who lled you "faggot" and told you that you were gog to Hell? If you tly believe God and want to change your sful ways, God will remove all homosexual urg om your md.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

But if at the end of this 60-day therapy, you still have homosexual tennci, then you didn't really believe and you didn't really want to change.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

I read a blog a uple years ago that has disappeared off the ter; was lled “You’re Not Gay. ” The male wrer explaed that he ed to live a gay liftyle believg that he was gay bee of other people’s opns.

Somehow even though he didn’t want to be gay other people thought he was, so he eventually thought he was.

As soon as I told her she didn’t have to be gay and that was jt a fear of beg gay tormentg her, we renounced the words that were spoken over her and rejected them.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

Tellg someone they don’t have to be gay, “you’re not gay” n relieve him of a growg or fully grown stctive liftyle. I don’t believe anyone is actually gay or turns gay any more than a person who has a dg addictn is a dg addict by inty. We n help people pe the unnecsary nfn that they face om liberal media by suggtg that they are not nately homosexual.

A iend of someone I know left the gay liftyle and, as is typil, he was socially ccified by his gay supporters.

I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN

If tellg someone he’s gay n affect him negatively, then tellg him he’s not gay n affect him posively.