There's More Than One Way for Gay Men to Have Sex | GQ

Contents:

• THE BIGGT MYTH ABOUT GAY SEX
• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
• 5 THGS STRAIGHT PEOPLE DON’T KNOW ABOUT GAY SEX
• WHY SOME STRAIGHT PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE GAY SEX
• HOW TO GET A MAN (FOR GAY MEN)
• GAYS VS. STRAIGHTS: ANY DIFFERENC SEXUAL SATISFACTN?
• GAY MEN HAVG SEX WH WOMEN?

THE BIGGT MYTH ABOUT GAY SEX

It’s what Wtern culture would have you believe, too; ass-play has long been associated wh gayns, and wh good reason. Datg back to the ancient Greece, anal sex played a role the exprsn of same-sex sexualy (albe, wh fewer varieti of lube) art of anal sex is the thg that, both posively and negatively, has e to reprent gay men.

In other words: There’s more than one way for gays to ’s not all about basMeghan Traor was wrong; ’s not all about that base. That’s bee the ncept of first, send, and third base don’t really apply to gay men bee our endgame is different.

Rather, gay sex is more like firg up your PlayStatn and playg Fallout 4.

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

For the non-gaymers the hoe, I’m tryg to say that gay sex is an open world. Of urse, culturally and historilly, gay men have been narrowed down where the act of sex self f . Instead, I’m attemptg to myth-bt prumptns about gay sex.

Beg gay n be hard enough by self whout then also worryg about the prsur om wh our own muny to nform to some sort of standard.

Bee if there’s one thg this gay old life that shouldn’t be formulaic ’s sex. In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn. This populatn is the foc of his new and much-need book: Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi?

5 THGS STRAIGHT PEOPLE DON’T KNOW ABOUT GAY SEX

Number one is the high cince of male-female upl enterg my office bee the woman thks her man might be gay.

More often than not, he’s not gay or even bi. He’s actually straight, but for whatever reason, he’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been havg sex wh men. A lot of the time the men e on their own and they’re holdg my book about g out as gay, and they want to know, “Is this me?

Am I gay?

WHY SOME STRAIGHT PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE GAY SEX

And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay. That’s unual, bee most gay men, even most gay therapists, believe that if a guy is havg gay sex, he’s gay.

So how do you terme if a man is or isn’t gay? Most gay or bisexual men will say y. ” I always joke wh clients that for me, as a gay man, when I’m walkg on the beach and checkg people out, the women are the way.

Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women.

HOW TO GET A MAN (FOR GAY MEN)

Another thg that I look for is homophobia. When a man is a long-term relatnship wh a woman but beg sexual wh men, eher lookg at porn or havg actual sex, he eher will or won’t be homophobic. Intertgly, ’s the gay men who are homophobic.

GAYS VS. STRAIGHTS: ANY DIFFERENC SEXUAL SATISFACTN?

The straight men have no homophobia at all—to the pot where they’re willg to seek unselg om me, an openly gay therapist. A lot of tim the gay men never even make to me (whout promptg om their wife, anyway) bee they’re riddled wh homophobia and I’m too gay for them.

So if a client is stgglg wh his sexual orientatn and he’s got a lot of homophobia, he’s probably gay. A gay guy wants to do all of that wh a man, a bisexual guy might want a man or a woman, and the straight guy wants to only be wh a woman that way.

He’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been hookg up wh guys he meets through Craigslist.

GAY MEN HAVG SEX WH WOMEN?

And that’s too gay for them anyway. The gay man is dog this bee ’s his sexual inty.