35 DOs and DON'Ts of a Gay Leather Bar

Contents:

• DO YOU WANNA FUNK WH ME?: A BEGNER’S GUI TO GAY NIGHTCLUBS
• THE DOS & DON'TS OF GAY CLUBBG
• FOR THE LOVE OF GAY BARS
• HOW TO BEE POPULAR AT A GAY BAR
• WHY GAY BARS ARE DISAPPEARG ACROSS AMERI
• WHY OUR HISTORI WH GAY BARS MATTER — AND WHAT THEIR FUTURE MIGHT LOOK LIKE AFTER THE PANMIC
• 'GAY BAR' TRACKS THE WAVE OF A WHOLE CULTURE — AND ONE LIFE
• WHAT I LEARNED WORKG A NAKED GAY BAR
• WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A ‘GAY BAR’ BE JT A BAR?
• IS IT LAST CALL FOR THE GAY BAR?
• WHY GAY BARS ARE VAL FOR LGBT COMMUNI
• THE DEATH OF THE GAY BAR
• THE 30 BT GAY BARS NYC

DO YOU WANNA FUNK WH ME?: A BEGNER’S GUI TO GAY NIGHTCLUBS

To be fair, there are straight clubs that play great mic and have fun, nonjudgmental crowds, and there are gay bars that are nothg more than S and M (Stand and Mol) clubs.

THE DOS & DON'TS OF GAY CLUBBG

Certa gay/lbian clubs have their target clientele, of urse — wboys and wgirls (The Round-up Saloon Dallas), leather men (La Track Montreal), punk lbians (The Dyke Bar Brighton, UK), and drag queens (1001 Pub Maryl Istanbul), for stance — but what I’m talkg about is your basic glter-ball, all-wele, humpg-on-the-dance-floor dis.

This wouldn’t have happened at any of the gay bars town, and we fely would have had a better time, as the doorman was jt the first of numero snooty employe we enuntered, there. A gay bar is one of the few plac where homosexuals n exprs their affectn for one another whout beg subjected to someone’s narrow judgment, or, prumably, riskg harm to themselv, so expect to happen.

I went wh three iends — a lbian and a straight uple — to a gay nightclub a while back, but was separated om them immediately after enterg the crowd club. Unlike what you may have seen on Queer as Folk, the overwhelmg majory of gay bars don’t have backrooms and hallways where wild i are takg place.

FOR THE LOVE OF GAY BARS

Dg e, particularly the e of ecstasy and other signer dgs, is higher among the gay populatn than the straight populatn, and some gays and lbians equate a night on the town wh a night of high-energy, dg-duced spastic dancg.

In my qut for the perfect dance club, I tried, or was dragged to, diss of all varieti, so I know om experience that the bt dance mic is a gay bar. Sylvter, the late dis diva of the ’80s, was one of the first to target gay dienc, and he tablished a proud tradn of producg multi-layered tracks to which even the most rhythmilly-challenged uld dance.

Even though he was straight and had a girliend, Ron and I went dancg together often; we both loved to dance, and if no one wanted to go out wh , we knew we uld dance a gay bar whout beg hassled. From gym gods to nerds to fag hags (the latter beg the straight women who hang wh their gay male iends) to straight upl who want to try some place new — don’t matter.

HOW TO BEE POPULAR AT A GAY BAR

Although, to be hont, the more you look like a er ught the headlights, the more the regulars will look at you oddly, so try not to eak out when you see your first drag queen or gay/lbian uple makg out. And often, gay clubs smaller towns or ral areas are entrance-by-membership-only, to keep out the rednecks and others who want stir up trouble.

When I attend llege the homophobic town of Wa, Texas, gettg to the one gay bar town remd me of enterg a speak-easy durg Prohibn, but once si, the patrons were all nice and easy-gog. However, if you have no problem wh gay, lbian, bisexual or transgenred people general, they turn will have no problem wh you, so you ought to give the lol gay bar a try. Chanc are, your first tentative steps out onto the London queer scene were ma or around Old Compton Street, the shg of London’s mastream gay culture.

Csg a venue to ll out an expensive plummer bee you and your pals thought ’d be a great plan to smash up the toilet after your first h of gay gra gak isn’t exactly the pnacle of allyship. A mere 30 years later, sectn 28 was passed - makg an offence to promote (talk about) homosexualy schools and only 5 years ago same sex marriag were not legal.

WHY GAY BARS ARE DISAPPEARG ACROSS AMERI

The nroticism of beg closeted is like that strs of seeg a p while you’re stoned, but 24/7, and also, you like gay turns out that Gay Bar Smell (a ee logne ia one of the Queer Eye guys should sh on) was an spic troductn for me, and an inic one at that.

It’s even referred to the very first le of Gay Bar: Why We Went Out, the recently released book wrten by Jeremy Atherton L that aims to pture the trici, plitns, and fabulons of this culture. A safe space, a therapist’s office, a dance club, a live theater, a place to get super dnk (or pleasantly tipsy), a spot to fd a hookup, an tablishment to drown sorrows, and an oasis to pe realy are jt some of the ways to scribe what queer waterg hol mean to the gay mass. Though, that absolutely happens too; nothg pairs better wh the third sp of “I Wanna Dance Wh Somebody” than a plastic cup of seltzer that tast like bbg alhol and Bar: Why We Went OutGay Bar: Why We Went OutNow 11% Off“Some people treat them jt as a bar, but to so many others ’s a muny, ” Steven McEne says.

Cooley, the owner of the popular Los Angel gay bar the Abbey, tells this story: “One time a kid was put on a plane by his parents at LAX, but stead he snuck off and took a b here, ” he rells. The first time I reluctantly stepped si a gay bar was at that effervcent spot around the rner om where I lived, bee a iend had ma his missn to brg me. “You get a lot of first-time bar narrativ, pecially om olr gays, ” says Atherton L of the re of passage, as important as your first kiss, or the realizatn that “poppers” isn’t a nickname for buttered rn.

WHY OUR HISTORI WH GAY BARS MATTER — AND WHAT THEIR FUTURE MIGHT LOOK LIKE AFTER THE PANMIC

"Gay Bar: Why We Went Out mak the rear rell stori of their own a vir way, even if they never went to the kds of bars Atherton L wr about— London and San Francis. ”It’s a sad irony that the release of Gay Bar me at a time when many gay bars were eher closed temporarily, danger of closg permanently—like one of New York’s only Black-owned gay bars, Alibi—or done for good, like the Chigo Boystown mastay Ltle Jim’s.

A nfluence of factors ntribute to the rapid disappearance of gay bars and queer spac across Ameri, acrdg to Zach Stafford, edor--chief of Grdr’s magaze INTO. Many blame datg apps as the digal accs to potential partners obviat the need for -real-life flirtg and, as Stafford not on this week’s episo of the Eater Upsell podst, “People n make any space through the apps a gay bar, a gay club, and you kd of now unrstand that gay people are everywhere.

Also changg gay bars as we know them across the untry: gentrifitn and a prsure to ter to straight dienc and sell them ritur of what pop culture says a gay bar should be. Upsell -host Dan Geneen and I spoke wh Stafford to discs the lnch of an Eater documentary he starred lled Boystown, which he explor the changg hospaly dtry Ameri’s olst gayborhood.

'GAY BAR' TRACKS THE WAVE OF A WHOLE CULTURE — AND ONE LIFE

Part of the change is posive, that gay liftyle and culture is so readily accepted now, so part of the mastream, that the gay muny don’t need rved out spac orr to feel safe, meet one another, or be themselv.

WHAT I LEARNED WORKG A NAKED GAY BAR

And there’s somethg to be said for the fact that straight bar and rtrant goers are so attracted by aspects of the gay liftyle that the drag clubs have bee statns. “As the thgs change, and the spac bee more sanized, and more people go there jt to explore, and ’s kd of voyristic, you feel that you’re losg that sense of omniprence of gayns that ed to feel like a protectn, ” says Stafford. As gay bars and clubs close and the neighborhood be ls foced on nightlife, real tate velopments, trendy rtrants, and rporate enti like Target take their plac.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A ‘GAY BAR’ BE JT A BAR?

(Courty of ONE Archiv at the USC Librari, Los Angel, and the tate of Pat Roc)Queeri is a weekly lumn by CBC Arts producer Peter Knegt that queri LGBTQ art, culture and/or inty through a personal the panmic, the last time I went this long whout gog to a gay bar was before I was legal drkg age.

For many of  livg plac where we've been privileged enough to have gay bars be an tegral — if plited — part of our culture sce we were brave enough or old enough to get , the past year and untg has been a big parture om a route our social liv. That's a re qutn Jeremy Atherton L's vibrant but book Gay Bar: Why We Went Out, a mix of memoir and historil document that explor the plex relatnship both Atherton L and gay culture has had wh the creasgly endangered habat that is the gay bar. (HBG Canada)Exceptnally well-crafted, Gay Bar is both a book about Atherton L's life and the gay bars each chapter foc on ( jumps om London to Los Angel to San Francis).

At that time, over half the gay bars London had closed down the prev , as they siarly had major ci across the world thanks largely to a double-edged sword of gentrifitn skyrocketg rent and the rise of gay social apps like Grdr puttg virtual gay bars people's pockets. " "It's ase that would not have been at the foreont of people's mds, but really the effect of the AIDS crisis on gay culture seemed to me to be very buried, " he says of his troductn to that culture the 1990s. "Atherton L says that, for him, dog that kd of revisg led him to fd "more of a sense of a longer history" wh rpect to his own relatnship to gay culture.

IS IT LAST CALL FOR THE GAY BAR?

"That was the greatt revelatn for me: a sense of acceptance about how you're not gog to be exactly the same as other homosexuals, spe the 'homo. ( Jamie Atherton)The panmic began as Atherton L was dog fal eds of the book, and he wonred about whether to make chang to reflect this new and cripplg chapter the challeng facg gay bars' survival.

Atherton L's book starts off a crowd room a gay bar where he's gone cisg wh his partner, whom he refers to throughout the book wh the Leonard Cohen-spired nickname Famo Blue Raat.

That kd of gay bar — all kds of gay bars, really — are danger of closg, Atherton L wr, due to the populary of datg apps and risg property sts. He wr betifully about his llege days Los Angel, where he went to his first one, though he n't rell the name, wryly notg, "Of urse I n't remember my first gay bar — I was dnk. " That history clus the famo 1969 uprisg at the Stonewall Inn New York, but Atherton L also div to other, lser-known bars, cludg on that endured police raids meant to put gay people their place.

WHY GAY BARS ARE VAL FOR LGBT COMMUNI

" Atherton L explor topics like archecture and urban geography, as they relate to gay bars, betifully; he wr wh a real knowledge that's more than jt tellectual dilettantism.

About the changg looks of bars before the turn of the century, he observ, "A new type of gay bar began to appear London's Soho the neti — airy, glossy, ntental. " Along the way, Atherton L dips to other topics related to the gay muny: the appropriatn of gay culture by straight people, mic, drkg, and the valu of the younger generatn of LGBTQ people.

And while succeeds on many levels, perhaps the most remarkable one is Atherton L's nstant qutng of himself, and the realizatns of how he's changed sce he walked to his first gay bar years ago: "Maybe, I thought, I'm a dis ball.

THE DEATH OF THE GAY BAR

In the ner-suburban streets of Melbourne’s north si, there’s a lol gay bar and club lled Sircu, known for tradg all throughout the weekend, offerg nights filled wh crackg bos of drag queen baret and beer-swiggg burly is slightly ls known about this northern venue, however, is a cur event that ns on Monday and Tuday nights: at is a mens-only homosexual soiree that scrib self as “our take on the Fzroy lol pub”, wh a key element that sets apart om the rt: It’s a naked gay bar.

THE 30 BT GAY BARS NYC

And y, I would do this all the ncept of nudy at gay venu is no novel ia; the pursu of gay sexual liberatn, many a queer bar has seen exposed rear ends (and other parts) fly ee the tert of sexual exprsn, whether partially unclothed or even ADAM prents an alternative, however, is the herently social element of the event. What do offer is an opportuny for gay men to nverse wh one another, offerg liberatn through a unique experience – beg entirely isn’t for everyone. I’ve laid ey on all kds of bodi – and found that no matter what society might em as “impediments”, they’re all perfectly okay, jt as they enter the gay muny is to acknowledge a culture that often prris the body betiful over a sense of belongg – yet at ADAM, patrons are met wh kdns.