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The right to a ary burial for gay spo was guaranteed natnwi wh the legalizatn of same-sex marriage 2015, but only a handful of known same-sex ary upl are buried across US natnal cemeteri. For most, the right to such an honor has been hard won.

Contents:

SAME-SEX MARRIAGE NOW LEGAL FOR GAY MILARY COUPL ALL 50 STAT

As "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to an end, we sent Chris Heath to terview dozens of gay servicemen om the past and prent to fd out what life was really like as Ameri's ary stggled wh s last great inty crisis * gay marriage in the navy *

Sce 2011, openly gay, lbian and bisexual men and women have been permted to serve the ary. It wasn’t until 1982 that the ary enacted a policy explicly banng gay men and lbians om their ranks. And the early 1940s, was classified as a mental illns, disqualifyg gay men and lbians om service.

Eighteen years later, Congrs repealed the policy, allowg openly gay, lbian and bisexual people to serve the ary. Matt Thorn, terim executive director for OutServe-SLDN, an advocy group for gay, lbian, bisexual and transgenr service members, said the Supreme Court's cisn was a msage to their muny "that...

” But same-sex upl are ee to pick their own clergy member to perform their marriage ceremoni have been takg place ary chapels sce September 2013, when the Pentagon led that same sex partners of a service member were entled to the same benefs provid to oppose sex upl, such as health re, accs to ary facili and servic on all ary cisn me two years after the Pentagon lifted the "don't ask, don't tell" prohibn agast openly gay men or women servg the MiklaszewskiJim Miklaszewski is the chief Pentagon rrponnt for NBC News. The are the voic explag what has been like to be a gay man1 the Amerin ary over the prev seventy or so years, om World War II veterans their late eighti to young servicemen on active duty.

TELL: AN INTIMATE HISTORY OF GAY MEN THE MILARY

* gay marriage in the navy *

Life Today as a Gay ServicemanHow we got here: In 1992, many people thought that the discrimatn was nearly over. "I remember beg the Castro, " says John Forrett (army rerve, 1987–99), "and watchg the TV at a bar wh some iends, watchg Al Gore and Bill Clton swearg that if they beme the tag team for Ameri they were gog to get rid of the harassment of gays and lbians servg the ary. " Gay people were allowed the ary but only as long as they didn’t reveal their sexualy; to facilate this, all members of the ary were also prohibed om quirg about anyone’s possible orientatn.

Gay people were only acceptable, effect, to the gree to which they uld succsfully masquera as nongay. Seventeen years which gay servicemen have existed a paradoxil kd of herworld. Servicemen were advised that until then the policy would still apply, and that they uld potentially face s sanctns if they intify themselv publicly as gay.

’ "Air Force #1: "Two of my iends were disvered, both officers—’s a long and arduo procs for an officer to get kicked out for beg gay. "Air Force #2 (senr airman, three years): "No one at my job would ever, ever spect that I was gay at all. And you’re good at your job—a gay person wouldn’t be good at his job, so obvly you’re not gay.

US NAVY APPROV GAY WEDDGS ON BAS

You’re a Mare, you don’t md gettg dirty, gog out to the field and not showerg for weeks at a, if you were gay, when you have to shower wh all the other guys you’d get all exced. You’re not gettg exced so you’re clearly not gay. I mean, if you want to hi, the Mare Corps is one of the bt plac to do that, bee nobody wants to adm they are standg next to a gay guy.

FOR GAY UPL HOPG FOR A ARY BURIAL, THE FIGHT FOR LOVE DON’T END WH ATH

Nobody wants to adm that they have gone to war wh gay people. I had ma about halfway through and the recer was trated wh how long was takg me, and he said, ’Well, basilly, are you gay? One Man’s Operatn Iraqi FreedomMany gay servicemen the morn era—cludg Eric Alva (Mar, 1991–2004)—have pleted long ary reers whout their sexualy ever beg revealed.

And therefore few people realized that the first Amerin serly wound the vasn of Iraq durg the send Gulf war was a gay Alva signed up, before "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, " he had to lie on his paperwork.

Lbians have suffered unr the same prohibns and prejudic and share many of the same experienc, as well as some that are distct, but this article ncentrat on the experience of gay men.

THE GAY MARRIAG OF A NETEENTH-CENTURY PRISON SHIP

And when, 2006, the battl over "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" the ary and gay marriage the wir muny were simmerg, Alva’s boyiend at the time poted out to him that he did have some notoriety that might be of e.

The first Amerin jured the Iraq war is a gay Mare.

For gay ary members who choose to do so, there has been the extra burn that their partners mt rema visible.

NAVY REVERS SELF ON GAY MARRIAG ON ARY BAS

(The meetgs have been arranged through a private onle work lled OutServe, set up only last year, which allows gay and lbian servicepeople a safe and secure way of fdg and munitg wh one another. To be the ary and still try to live any kd of life as a gay man, ’s not Force #4 (senr airman, four years): "Right now our relatnships don’t exist.

In the shadow of "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, " whenever gay servicemen did face any kd of homophobic harassment, they were powerls to draw attentn to whout potentially triggerg the end of their ary reer. The le self beme the very tool of their opprsn: "The ’Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy, " says Joseph Rocha (navy, 2004–7), "punish homosexuals who ply, and protects bigots. Nothg to do wh the fact that I was gay.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY MARRIAGE IN THE NAVY

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class="styl_ntaer__ZKkl3" data-activy-map="social-share-lks-article-top" data-ttid="social-share-menu"><li data-ttid="social-share-facebook" class="styl_em__b5A78 styl_facebook__bOW_X"><a href=" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="styl_lk__RsJVU"><span class="in in-share-facebook"></span></a></li><li data-ttid="social-share-twter" class="styl_em__b5A78 styl_twter__ww7sF"><a href=" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="styl_lk__RsJVU"><span class="in in-twter"></span></a></li><li data-ttid="social-share-ptert" class="styl_em__b5A78 styl_ptert__CaMm1"><a href=" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="styl_lk__RsJVU"><span class="in in-share-ptert"></span></a></li><li data-ttid="social-share-email" class="styl_em__b5A78"><a href="mailto:?subject=Tie the Knot: Naval Amy Hosts First Gay Weddg& target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="styl_lk__RsJVU"><span class="in in-share-email"></span></a></li><li data-ttid="social-share-py" class="styl_em__b5A78 styl_py__RACZ3"><button type="button" class="styl_button__b3sx_"><span class="in in-lk"></span></button><div class="styl_pyTooltip__Ut_t1"><span class="in in-alt-check"></span></div></li><li data-ttid="social-share-sms" class="styl_em__b5A78 styl_sms__Vohh6"><a href="sms:?&body=Tie the Knot: Naval Amy Hosts First Gay Weddg via nbews - target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="styl_lk__RsJVU"><span class="in in-sms"></span></a></li><li data-ttid="social-share-prt" class="styl_prt__cw6Gn"><button type="button" class="styl_button__b3sx_"><span class="in in-share-prt styl_in__P3XZT"></span><span class="styl_text___8iNX">Prt</span></button></li><li data-ttid="social-share-save" class="styl_save__ILVuj"></li></ul></div><div class="article-body__date-source"><time class="relative z-1" dateTime="2014-05-10T22:35:44.000Z" ntent="2014-05-10T22:35:44.000Z">May 10, 2014, 10:35 PM UTC</time></div></sectn><div class="article-body__ntent article-body-font--loadg"><p class="">ANNAPOLIS, Md. — Beneath the magnificent cupola of the Navy’s most regnizable relig stcture, two men — acpanied by their two children and about 100 guts — gathered here Saturday for the U.S. Naval Amy Chapel's first-ever same-sex weddg.</p><p class="">For the Naval Amy, was an historic tone that David Bucher, a 49-year-old Amy graduate who works at the Pentagon, and partner Bce Moats, 50, tied the knot.</p><div class="ad ad--text-alignment ad-ntaer boxleAd dn-prt" data-ttid="ad__ntaer"><div data-mps="te" data-slot="boxle" data-siz="[[[1000,1],[]],[[758,1],[[300,250],[700,50],[5,5],[728,90],[360,360]]],[[0,0],[[300,250],[700,50],[5,5],[360,360]]]]" data-renr-on-view="te" data-targetg="{}" data-active-tab="te" data-offset-viewport="100" data-ttid="ad__ntaer__ner"></div></div><div id="taboolaReadMoreBelow"></div><p class="">Before the ceremony got unrway, the uple's weddg day jters mgled wh ncerns they had about opposn to their nuptials.</p><p class="">Moats said that while he and Bucher are not advot tryg to make a polil statement wh their weddg, they do want to ntue the efforts of those fightg for gay rights.</p><p class="">“We’re here to break barriers — and take advantage of the rights we have,” Moats said, beamg.</p><sectn class="le-vio le-vio---body"><div class="le-vio__background"><div class="le-vio__player"><div class="vioPlayer styl_vioPlayer__bL8AJ styl_adNotPlayg__Q51_C styl_alignDktopBottom__4cHaO styl_alignMobileBottom__bhgkQ" data-ttid="vio-player"><div class="vioSlate"><a href=" class="allowClicksOnPreview"><picture class=""><source media="(m-width: 1240px)" srcSet="><source media="(m-width: 758px)" srcSet="><img loadg="lazy" src="></picture></a><div class="playButtonOuter absolute absolute-fill w100 dn-prt"><div class="absolute absolute-fill w100 df ems-center ems-center-m jtify-center jtify-center-m"><div class="play le-vio__play-button"><svg class="play--in" xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 15 15" prerveAspectRat="xMidYMid" style="max-width:30px"><path d="M0 0v15l15-7.41z" fill-le="evenodd"></path></svg></div></div></div></div><div id="42852933851"></div></div></div></div><div class="le-vio__"><h2 class="le-vio__tle"><a href=">U.S. Naval Amy Host Its First Gay Weddg</a></h2><span class="le-vio__tail"><span>May 10, 2014</span><span>00:47</span></span><div class="styl_share__n3Syu le-vio__share dn-prt"><div class="styl_shareExpanr__hVk8d le-vio__share-expanr styl_hoverEffect___Dj4s"><span class="styl_shareDot__9pfRZ le-vio__share-dot"></span><svg class="styl_shareClose__6BZxR le-vio__share-close" viewBox="0 0 15 15"><le class="styl_shareLe__EJUjO" x1="0" x2="15" y1="0" y2="15"></le><le class="styl_shareLe__EJUjO" x1="0" x2="15" y1="15" y2="0"></le></svg></div><div class="styl_shareList___M8wC le-vio__share-list"><a href=" class="styl_shareLk__gSGN3" target="_blank" rel="noopen noreferrer"><span class="in in-facebook styl_shareIn__lVnRm le-vio__share-in"></span></a><a href=" class="styl_shareLk__gSGN3" target="_blank" rel="noopen noreferrer"><span class="in in-twter styl_shareIn__lVnRm le-vio__share-in"></span></a><a href="mailto:?subject=U.S. Naval Amy Host Its First Gay Weddg& class="styl_shareLk__gSGN3" target="_blank" rel="noopen noreferrer"><span class="in in-email styl_shareIn__lVnRm le-vio__share-in"></span></a></div></div></div></sectn><p class="">The weddg was not wily publicized, and wasn’t surprisg to Naval Amy spokman Cmdr. John Schofield to see no Amy opposn to the ceremony.</p><div class="ad ad--text-alignment ad-ntaer boxleAd dn-prt" data-ttid="ad__ntaer"><div data-mps="te" data-slot="boxle" data-siz="[[[1000,1],[]],[[758,1],[[300,250],[700,50],[5,5],[728,90],[360,360]]],[[0,0],[[300,250],[700,50],[5,5],[360,360]]]]" data-renr-on-view="te" data-targetg="{}" data-active-tab="te" data-offset-viewport="100" data-ttid="ad__ntaer__ner"></div></div><p class="">“The Naval Amy is all about creatg lears for the future and embodyg and promotg a culture of digny and rpect,” Schofield said. “And I thk that ’s le wh those valu, those tes that we hold ar, that we have our first same-sex marriage here.”</p><p class="">He said the Amy was proud to hold the weddg — le wh Maryland law. Same-sex marriage went to effect 2013.</p><p class="">As groundbreakg as the weddg was for the Amy, stuck to tradn wh formal prayers, a readg om Corthians and the Uned Stat Navy Hymn.</p><p class="">But Amy Chapla Lt. John Connolly, who officiated the ceremony, said the n-up to the memorable day wasn’t all smooth sailg.</p><figure class="styl_leImage__yAWZ0 styl_medium__OMa6x"><picture class="styl_image__1qciH"><source media="(m-width: 1000px)" srcSet=" 2x, 1x"/><source srcSet=" 2x, 1x"/><img loadg="lazy" src=" alt="David Bucher, 49, and Bce Moats, 50, of Maryland kiss at their weddg Annapolis." height="1667" width="2500"/></picture><figptn class="ptn styl_ptn__Pe5JC"><span class="ptn__ntaer" data-ttid="ptn__ntaer">David Bucher, 49, and Bce Moats, 50, of Maryland kiss at their weddg Annapolis.</span><span class="ptn__source">NBC NEWS</span></figptn></figure><p class="">“Not everyone agre that this should be happeng and took a signifint amount of discernment on my own part as well as this uple’s as they were preparg for the day,” Connolly said.</p><p class="">But as he got to know Bucher and Moats, he unrstood how love they were.</p><div class="ad ad--text-alignment ad-ntaer boxleAd dn-prt" data-ttid="ad__ntaer"><div data-mps="te" data-slot="boxle" data-siz="[[[1000,1],[]],[[758,1],[[300,250],[700,50],[5,5],[728,90],[360,360]]],[[0,0],[[300,250],[700,50],[5,5],[360,360]]]]" data-renr-on-view="te" data-targetg="{}" data-active-tab="te" data-offset-viewport="100" data-ttid="ad__ntaer__ner"></div></div><div class="remend-tersectn-ref" data-activy-map="remend-article-body-remend" data-ttid="remend-wrapper"></div><p class="">“The more I met wh this uple, the happier I was to be pridg today,” he add.</p><div class="remend-tersectn-ref" data-activy-map="remend-article-body-remend" data-ttid="remend-wrapper"></div><p class="">The road for this gay uple has not been easy. Moats, a director of munitns for the World Bank, grew up ral Wt Virgia. He said he swam agast a ti of poverty and prejudice.</p><p class="">While gettg married at the Naval Amy’s chapel, he stood awe of the venue.</p><p class="">“It’s timidatg to be this grandse settg,” he said, addg that his pre-weddg nerv were pound by “knowg there are some who don’t approve.”</p><sectn class="blockquote"><blockquote class="blockquote__quote"><p>“We’re here to break barriers — and take advantage of the rights we have."</p><small class="blockquote__source"><span></span></small></blockquote></sectn><p class="">But for David Bucher, the day was pecially momento — and tged wh a sense of remptn.</p><p class="">The son of an Oh untry judge, he graduated om the Naval Amy and served at the time of Operatn Dert Storm the early 1990s. But after five years, and agast his own wish, he said, he left the Navy.</p><div class="ad ad--text-alignment ad-ntaer boxleAd dn-prt" data-ttid="ad__ntaer"><div data-mps="te" data-slot="boxle" data-siz="[[[1000,1],[]],[[758,1],[[300,250],[700,50],[5,5],[728,90],[360,360]]],[[0,0],[[300,250],[700,50],[5,5],[360,360]]]]" data-renr-on-view="te" data-targetg="{}" data-active-tab="te" data-offset-viewport="100" data-ttid="ad__ntaer__ner"></div></div><p class="">“As a gay man the ary, the ary didn’t want me,” Bucher said. “There was some aspect of my personal beg that ma me ls qualified, they thought, so that was why I exed the Navy. There was a certa level of rejectn there.”</p><p class="">But on Saturday, returng to the place where Bucher began his reer — and sensg an extraordary effort to wele him and his partner — there was also a feelg of victory.</p><p class="">He’s workg at the Pentagon, has a fay and is married to the love of his life.</p><p class="endmark">“To me,” he said, “that is a triumph.”</p></div><div class="article-body__ntent article-body-font--loadg"></div></div><div class="article-body--right-rail-ntaer"><div class="article-body__right-rail layout-grid-em grid-l-4_5-l grid-l-3_5-xl grid-l-ph-half-xl"><div class="ad article-body__right-rail--ad ad--text-alignment ad-ntaer dn-prt" data-ttid="ad__ntaer"><div data-mps="te" data-slot="boxrail" data-siz="[[[1000,1],[[300,250],[360,360]]],[[758,1],[]],[[0,0],[]]]" data-offset="10" data-renr-on-view="te" data-targetg="{}" data-active-tab="te" data-ttid="ad__ntaer__ner"></div></div></div></div></div><span></span><div class="body-bottom-remend"><div class="ad ad--midrponsive ad-ntaer dn-prt" data-ttid="ad__ntaer"><div data-mps="te" data-slot="midrponsive" data-siz="[[[1000,1],[[700,1],[5,5]]],[[758,1],[]],[[0,0],[]]]" data-offset="300" data-reh-terval="0" data-renr-on-view="te" data-targetg="{}" data-active-tab="te" data-ttid="ad__ntaer__ner"></div></div></div></div></div></article></div></div><div id="hfs-footer" class="dn-prt" data-activy-map="hfs-footer"><footer class="hfsf" ><div class="ner"><div class="logo"><a href="><svg class="peack" viewBox="578 62 67 39" xmlns=" fill="currentColor"><g fill-le="evenodd"><path d="M579.074 90.58c1.717-4.494 6.472-6.08 10.697-3.37l18.29 12.754h-22.18c-4.62 0-8.252-4.23-6.8-9.385"></path><path class="feather" d="M579.074 90.58c1.717-4.494 6.472-6.08 10.697-3.37l18.29 12.754h-22.18c-4.62 0-8.252-4.23-6.8-9.385"></path><path class="feather" d="M597.563 75.863l9.442 21.613-19.478-13.35c-4.887-3.24-3.896-8.79-1.19-11.237 3.83-3.24 9.245-2.12 11.226 2.97"></path><path class="feather" d="M610.57 70.93l-3.433 24.19-9.772-23c-2.113-5.75 2.64-9.516 5.81-9.583 3.632-.396 8.188 2.38 7.396 8.394"></path><path class="feather" d="M625.494 72.103l-9.707 23.067-3.102-20.82c-.265-3.17 1.716-3.237 2.443-3.832-.133-.463-1.124-.463-1.124-.463h-1.848c-.198-5.42 4.028-7.8 7.462-7.535 3.697.132 7.856 4.428 5.876 9.583"></path><path class="feather" d="M635.338 84.167L615.86 97.584l9.177-21.348c2.775-6.742 9.245-5.42 11.556-2.842 2.51 2.51 3.235 7.6-1.255 10.773"></path><path class="feather" d="M637.448 99.9h-22.515l18.29-12.756c4.49-2.975 9.244-.266 10.498 3.635 1.327 4.36-1.65 9.12-6.27 9.12"></path></g></svg></a></div><nav class="lks"><ul class="lks__wrap" data-l-2="14" data-l-3=15><li><a href=" target="_self">About</a></li><li><a href=" target="_self">Contact</a></li><li><a href=">Help</a></li><li><a href=">Careers</a></li><li><a href=" target="_blank" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Ad Choic</a></li><li><a href=" target="_blank" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Privacy Policy</a></li><li><a href=" target="_blank" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Do Not Sell My Personal Informatn</a></li><li><a href=" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CA Notice</a></li><li><a href=">Terms of Service (Updated JULY 7, 2023)</a></li><li><a href=">NBC News Semap</a></li><li><a href=" target="_self">Closed Captng</a></li><li><a href=">Advertise</a></li><li><a href=" target="_self">Select Shoppg</a></li><li><a href=" target="_self">Select Personal Fance</a></li></ul></nav><div class="py"><p>© 2023 NBC UNIVERSAL</p><div class="brands"><a href="><svg viewBox="0 0 120 20" fill="none" xmlns=" aria-labelledby="nbc_news_logo"><tle class="nbc_news_logo">NBC News Logo .

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