"Do I Sound Gay?" | Psychology Today

Contents:

• DO I SOUND GAY?
• A DOCUMENTARIAN WONRS: 'DO I SOUND GAY?'
• DO YOU SOUND GAY? WHAT OUR VOIC TELL – AND WHAT THEY DON’T
• WHAT MEANS TO ‘SOUND GAY’
• FILMMAKER AND SPEECH PATHOLOGIST WEIGH IN ON WHAT IT MEANS TO 'SOUND GAY'
• REVIEW: ‘DO I SOUND GAY?’ EXAM A MANNER OF SPEAKG
• THIS GUY JT WANTS TO KNOW IF HE SOUNDS GAY
• BE YOUR OWN SELF: THE LSONS OF 'DO I SOUND GAY?' AND 'TANGERE'
• "DO I SOUND GAY?"
• DO I SOUND GAY? REVIEW – HIGHLY PERSONAL DOCUMENTARY
• THIS IS WHY SOME MEN ‘SOUND GAY’ – EVEN IF THEY’RE NOT

DO I SOUND GAY?

Journalist David Thorpe nonts his anxiety over soundg gay by talkg to LGBT ins like Dan Savage and Gee Takei, and explorg the cultural history of the gay voice film and televisn.

In the wake of a bad breakup, journalist and gay activist David Thorpe did what many of do: He took tense ventory of his own flaws and securi, then stepped up one of them to a Thg. A good Thg, as turns out, whose end rult is the charmg documentary Do I Sound Gay?, which Thorpe wryly treats his anxieti about his "gay" voice as an exercise self-improvement, and wds up wh a pellg portra of ternalized homophobia and liberatn. Back South Carola's Bible Belt, where Thorpe grew up, relativ and childhood iends pot out that he didn't sound gay until he me out of the closet llege.

Friends wh his tight-kn gay circle are more divid: Some nfs to hatg their lispg, anoidal voic; others own gayspeak wh varyg gre of fiance and jubilatn. The explanatn that pleas him most is that gay speech has s origs ls blogy or nro-chemistry than early female fluence: Men who grow up mostly around women tend to mimic feme speech styl — which, Thorpe argu, would expla why some straight men sound gay, and why gays who grow up wh brothers often velop basso profundos.

A DOCUMENTARIAN WONRS: 'DO I SOUND GAY?'

Is very good on the way many gay men who were bullied as children have learned to turn the hatred of others ward, which helps expla s of gay hyper-masculy and ternal ostracism of effemate men. Takg his cue om the swellg ranks of gay celebri (among them Gee Takei, Margaret Cho and the effably funny and ndid David Sedaris) who are willg to speak on mera about liberatg themselv om their own fears, Thorpe realiz he's been askg the wrong qutns.

DO YOU SOUND GAY? WHAT OUR VOIC TELL – AND WHAT THEY DON’T

While he was by tryg to iron out his gay voice, New York State legalized gay marriage, and the film's release jt weeks after the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage across the natn. You haven’t – at least that moment, at that party – exhibed the mannerisms lked many people’s mds wh male homosexualy. The notn you would be pleased to fd this out reveals an unthkg prejudice: how rehg is to meet a gay who don’t make a meal of .

WHAT MEANS TO ‘SOUND GAY’

Y, seemg gay – broadly speakg, beg mp – is a way of holdg onelf, a way of drsg, but ’s large part a way of speakg.

And y, the stretchg out of “sibilant” nsonants such as s and z (image Kenh Williams sayg “She sells sea shells on the sea shore” and you’re sort of there) what about gay women? There are a few theori knockg around as to why this might be: Arnold Zwicky, his mply tled 1994 paper Two Lavenr Issu for Lguists, suggts that: “For many lbians, what is most important is intifitn wh the muny of women – while for many gay men, what is most important is distancg themselv om straight men. Third: this style of speakg isn’t simply an importatn of “feme” quali to male speech, although that appears to be what a lot of people, we’re still left wh the qutn of why a gay male voice might emerge.

FILMMAKER AND SPEECH PATHOLOGIST WEIGH IN ON WHAT IT MEANS TO 'SOUND GAY'

But, lguistilly speakg, soundg gay is really no different om soundg street, soundg posh or soundg like a bro. When dis, a subversive dance movement that spoke to black people and women and gays, broke through, was vilified by mastream rock lovers for beg ksch and plastic. If there are any lsons to be learned here, vol or otherwise, ’s surely that dis was ol, mp is fe and “soundg gay” is jt however gay people happen to sound.

Fdg himself sudnly sgle and his 40s, filmmaker David Thorpe cis to take a ep dive to his psyche, tryg to figure out what means to be a morn gay man. He wants to fd out more about his speech patterns and whether he has what some might scribe as a "gay accent"... From there, he expands his foc to social norms the larger gay muny, cludg vol habs, and how certa tras have e to be seen as stereotypil homosexual tras.

REVIEW: ‘DO I SOUND GAY?’ EXAM A MANNER OF SPEAKG

” It’s a fascatg and nuanced film, which the filmmaker, David Thorpe,  his feelgs about his voice to look at attus toward homosexualy. It rais a plited discsn about gay pri, lgerg homophobia, disguised misogyny, and the extent to which we all alter the image that we prent to the the film begs, Thorpe is disturbed bee he realiz he don’t like his voice any more. He rri out thoughtful nversatns wh his iends and proment gay and lbian figur – cludg Gee Takei, David Sedaris, Dan Savage, Margaret Cho and Don Lemon – about what means to “sound gay.

But so dog, v everyone to thk about what their own voice says about who they are, where they me om, and where they want to science of “the gay voice”To start wh, the stereotypil “gay voice” isn’t necsarily a study published 2003, Ron Smyth, a lguist at the Universy of Toronto, found that participants readily separated rerdgs of 25 diverse voic to those who “sound gay” and those who “sound straight. ” People picked up on featur of the gay stereotype – voic that were higher and more melod were more often labeled "gay. In Smyth's study, people rrectly gused a man’s sexualy about 60 percent of the time, only a ltle better than another small study at the Universy of Hawaii, both gay and straight listeners were equally as likely to misclassify people as gay or straight.

THIS GUY JT WANTS TO KNOW IF HE SOUNDS GAY

In fact, the straight men wh so-lled gay voic weren't aware that people thought they sound gay at turns out that what most people perceive as a stereotypil "gay voice" is jt a male voice that sounds more stereotypilly feme -- maly, higher pched and more melod.

And that often has more to do wh the voic that a person intified wh as they grew up, rather than and other rearchers say some men, both gay and straight, velop more feme voic bee they are fluenced by women when they are young. "There are butch and fem gay men, there are butch and fem straight men, there are butch and fem straight women. If you've ever found yourself talkg to someone wh a different accent and gradually emulatg them, you're faiar wh the gay men, adoptg what's lled "mp" -- a theatril gay accent, like an old-school starlet -- n be a way of embracg their inty.

BE YOUR OWN SELF: THE LSONS OF 'DO I SOUND GAY?' AND 'TANGERE'

“As a hly mted gay man, I learned how mpg up uld be liberatg, ” Thorpe says the there may be more subtle ways that sexualy and our sense of self fluence our voic.

Benjam Munson, who studi language and speech at the Universy of Mnota, found one study that gay men did e a slightly different pronunciatn than straight men.

However, the difference wasn’t the stereotypil “gay voice, ” but a tenncy to e a more ntemporary, pan-Amerin accent, rather than the old-fashned Mnota accent (like  the movie “Fargo") says that the gay men he terviewed may have wanted to nvey an inty that is more stylish and cuttg edge. “As speakers of a language, we have lots of eedom how we pronounce sounds … People explo that variatn to create different social meangs, " he those who are proud n still feel stigma“Do I Sound Gay?

"DO I SOUND GAY?"

” shows that even men who are out and proud may still rry wh them some shame about havg a stereotypil “gay voice, ” even if those feelgs are Savage, a gay activist and thor, argu  the film that this is a natural nsequence of boys beg bullied for walkg and talkg a certa way when they are young. Misogyny and homophobia are “evil tws, ” which both have a root sexism and valug thgs that are female, says Thorpe. “[B]ee we do still live a misogynist and sexist culture, people cricize men who are effemate, whether or not they are gay, " says Thorpse.

"“This is really an issue of genr that then be an issue of sexual orientatn that then be an issue of homophobia, " Thorpe said. He grew up the Bible Belt the 1980s, when homosexualy was often nsired evil and the e of a new plague lled AIDS, Thorpe says.

DO I SOUND GAY? REVIEW – HIGHLY PERSONAL DOCUMENTARY

As Thorpe pots out the film, there have long been public entertaers or artists wh stereotypilly “gay voic” – Liberace or Tman Capote, for example -- but few people openly talked about their when characters wh “gay” mannerisms or voic appeared popular culture, they were sometim d wh negative or sid the 1940s on, Amerin film saw the rise of a sni, supercil, and vaguely gay villa, startg wh the manipulative Clifton Webb the tective noir film “Lra. ” That tradn of the effete, aristocratic villa has lived example, film historian Richard Barrs argu  the film that many of the Disney villas have simperg voic or mannerisms that are subtly – or not so subtly – stereotypilly gay, cludg Prce John "Rob Hood, " Sr "The Ln Kg, " and many more, In an terview, Thorpe poted out what he viewed as one particularly egreg example – the bad guy the 2012 Disney animated film “Wreck-It Ralph.

THIS IS WHY SOME MEN ‘SOUND GAY’ – EVEN IF THEY’RE NOT

” (This is a play on a “Nilla wafer” – a kd of okie -- and the word “nelly, ” a rogatory term for gay men, says Thorpe. He pots to Hollywood's proment “gaylebri, ” like Jse Tyler Fergon and Neil Patrick Harris, and young gay YouTube stars like Tyler Oakley, Kgsley and Lohanthony. "We are pneers our time changg societal perceptn of what means to be gay, ” Gee Takei, who played Sulu "Star Trek, " says the homophobia still affects Hollywood.

Many actors work to make their voic sound mascule: In the film, Bob Corff, a Hollywood voice ach who Thorpe viss, says 20 to 50 people a year e to him to sound "ls gay. " In his new film, Do I Sound Gay?, Thorpe search for the orig of that stereotype and documents his own attempts to sound "ls gay" by workg wh speech pathologist San Sank. "David was the first person who me to me who was upont right om the begng about soundg gay and what he wanted to do, " Sank tells Gross.

Interview Highlights On beg self-nsc about soundg gay Thorpe: I grew up the '80s, which was a ls acceptg time for LGBT people.

And as Dan Savage says the movie, effemate kids, whether they are gay or straight, get persecuted for, kd of, how they walk and how they talk.... On where the "gay sound" om Thorpe: If I have to speculate about where the so-lled gay voice om, for me, both the most predomant answers work. At the same time, I totally get that when I me out, I wanted to be regnized as gay; I wanted the world to know I was gay and I wanted to f to this existg muny, so I thk my voice really did change after I me out.

What I took om San was more an easy way of speakg and an abily to speak thentilly rather than changg my style to sound ls gay. On Thorpe's gay iends also stgglg to accept their voic Thorpe: One of the revelatns of makg this film was that this is somethg that had always bothered me and every time, basilly, I talk to a gay man I would fd out that he also had eher spent a lot of time thkg about his voice or ed to be self-nsc about his voice or still felt self-nsc about his voice. Directed by David ThorpeDocumentaryNot Rated1h 17mJuly 9, 2015David Thorpe’s engagg personal documentary, “Do I Sound Gay?, ” tipto to treachero waters, where stirs up a few rippl before gracefully backg out.

Not so long ago, mockery of the sissy queen stereotype, wh a limp wrist, a mcg ga and a lisp was a surefire lgh getter for edians like Bob Hope, who ma cel sport of perceived knows how many men have been bullied, beaten up or even murred for maniftg telltale ditns of gayns? Even the post-Stonewall era, men perceived as gay are subject to btal Thorpe, who is gay, wrote, produced and directed the film, which he terviews close iends and gay celebri, cludg David Sedaris, Gee Takei, Dan Savage, Don Lemon and Tim Gunn about their voic. VioThe Brooklyn filmmaker discs his documentary “Do I Sound Gay?, ” about his qut to better unrstand his voice.

Liberace and Pl Lyn are ced as embodiments of the flamboyant gay qutn of why the mannerisms of so many gay men f a stereotype is asked but never satisfactorily answered, partly bee the movie ncentrat on voic and ignor overall behavr.

One gay man who grew up wh brothers who were athlet ascrib his straight-actg body language to his sports-md fay. Sedaris, who says he has been mistaken for a woman on the telephone, nfs that he feels good when someone tells him, “I didn’t know you were gay, ” and adds somewhat sheepishly, “I thought I was beyond that. ” That might seem like a strange talkg pot for a filmmaker promotg a new documentary, Do I Sound Gay, which explor exactly that phenomenon.

“I wouldn’t have ma the film if my voice weren’t a proxy for my feelgs about beg gay and my feelgs of self-worth, ” Thorpe says. My biggt fear, which was mostly irratnal but sometim jtified, is that wasn’t until people heard my voice that they realized that I am gay, and that once they realized that, they would treat me differently or dislike me. The documentary lv to the history of cema, showg how many villas are picted as effemate men wh the stereotypil “gay voice, ” down to Disney characters like Jafar om Aladd and Sr om The Ln Kg.

That moment The Ln Kg where the parrot says, “There’s one every fay”—every gay man I know is like, “Yeah, there’s a fag every fay.

You terview some celebri, like Tim Gunn, who are beloved for their personas, which clu soundg stereotypilly gay.

I uld see that there were men who sound gay who were popular, and was sential to go to someone like Tim Gunn and say, “So Tim, how do you feel about your voice? I thk the SCOTUS cisn has created a paradigm shift about how gay people see themselv and how all of Ameri se self.