Joe Kort, Ph.D., talks about his new book, "Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi?"
Contents:
- HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
- ASK AMY: IS THE MAN I’M DATG GAY?
- IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
- AM I GAY?
- HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
- HOW TO DISCREETLY FD OUT IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS GAY
- IS FLIRTG BETWEEN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN OKAY?
- STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS
- HOW TO TALK WH A GAY OR LBIAN PERSON
- WHAT MEANS TO ‘SOUND GAY’
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your iend is gay. There are some important thgs that you have to unrstand about this suatn before gog forward, however. Someone's sexualy is highly plex and highly... * is the guy i'm talking to gay *
I don’t know if he lik me or not, or if he’s gay and if he is that’s okay, I jt don’t want to make him feel weird, and if he jt wants to be iends im fe wh that, but I don’t want to cross any l. There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your iend is gay.
You may want to know if your iend is gay, but there may be a good reason why they're stayg closeted. For example, his fay may be vlently homophobic and by cidg that he's gay, you may out him by accint by treatg him different or implyg somethg whout meang to. If you're tryg to figure out if your iend is gay bee you want to date him (as a woman), 's important to remember that jt bee he might be terted men don't mean he's not terted women.
Another important thg to remember is that 's not very important whether or not he's gay. One of the theori about why some people are gay has to do wh the hormon that they're exposed to before they're born.
ASK AMY: IS THE MAN I’M DATG GAY?
Unrstandg and navigatg your csh A csh is somethg special, and you should enjoy havg one! But when that csh is the same genr as you are, n be a b strsful stead. Do this mean you're gay? Should you tell them?... * is the guy i'm talking to gay *
The hormone exposure levels may manift actual, physil ways which n be a vague ditor that a guy might be gay.
Gay men are slightly more likely to have even fgers than straight men. It is possible that your guy iend is not gay but stead falls somewhere else on the Ksey sle of unirns and awomens. Although some people the gay culture may put on a certa voice or a way of speakg, your iend talkg a siar or "effemate" way is still not a very good way to judge.
IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
* is the guy i'm talking to gay *
What a guy enjoys is also not a very good way to judge if he is gay or not. Everyone n enjoy different thgs; jt like a woman might enjoy watchg football, guys n also enjoy thgs that are more monly associated wh women or the gay muny. The movi he watch and the mic he listens to are also not fair methods to gge if he is straight or gayer than Elton John and Gee Takei put together.
AM I GAY?
He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay. * is the guy i'm talking to gay *
There's the stereotype that if a guy is a good drser or if he spends a bunch of time on his hair, he's gay. Sometim you might assume that jt bee a guy only hangs out wh girls or jt bee his bt iend also seems gay, then he might also be gay. Subtly brg up subjects that show him that you're okay wh your iends beg gay and that he don't need to hi his nature around you.
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
Are you qutng your sexualy? Fd out if you’re gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual. Learn what the terms mean and if they apply to you. * is the guy i'm talking to gay *
You n talk about another iend that is gay or even jt about someone hypothetilly g out if you don't know someone who's gay. He do a great job of showg people that there's more to gay people than all those offensive stereotyp.
But if he is gay, he will probably tell you once he's fortable and feels like he tsts you. This is the bt way to fd out if someone is gay and much ls offensive than makg assumptns about them. Say somethg like, "You know you're stuck wh me as a iend no matter what, but I jt have to ask bee I don't want to make assumptns and e to the wrong nclns: are you gay?
HOW TO DISCREETLY FD OUT IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS GAY
Someone's sexualy is personal, so 's important to rpect their privacy. However, you might want to know if a person is gay bee you're terted datg them or want to support them as a iend. Beg open wh them n be... * is the guy i'm talking to gay *
Article SummaryXTo tell if your guy iend is gay, notice whether he refers to other guys as attractive, which uld be a sign that he’s gay.
Pay attentn to how much he talks about women a romantic or sexual way, sce a lack of tert women uld suggt he’s gay.
If you’re still unsure, try talkg to him about gay men to see how he rponds. For stance, say somethg like, “Not that I md eher way, but I was jt wonrg whether you're gay?
IS FLIRTG BETWEEN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN OKAY?
Learn how to approach and flirt wh gay guys at clubs, bars, or other venuMeetg gay guys is hard. First you have to terme if the guy you're terted is gay or straight. Then you have to approach him and strike up a... * is the guy i'm talking to gay *
” For more tips, cludg how to show your iend that you’re okay wh gay people, read on! I’ve been recently talkg to this guy onle who I matched wh on an app lled GayFriendly. Also, keep md that havg a csh on a person of the same genr don't tomatilly mean you are gay.
Sexual orientatn is more than a qutn of whether you are gay, pansexual, queer, straight, or bisexual.
STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS
If you are an ally of the LGBT+ muny, you may be ncerned about behavg a way that supports that attu. If you stggle to accept gay people, you may not be sure how to talk to them whout brgg up your own beliefs.... * is the guy i'm talking to gay *
In addn, sexual orientatn is not jt about who you have feelgs for, 's also about how you thk of yourself (as, straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual, or somethg else), and how you actually behave. Once you are fortable enough, ask your csh some qutns to see how they feel about the LGBTQ muny or gay folks. He later told me he was gay, which didn't change a thg for me.
In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn. This populatn is the foc of his new and much-need book: Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi?
Number one is the high cince of male-female upl enterg my office bee the woman thks her man might be gay.
HOW TO TALK WH A GAY OR LBIAN PERSON
He’s actually straight, but for whatever reason, he’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been havg sex wh men. A lot of the time the men e on their own and they’re holdg my book about g out as gay, and they want to know, “Is this me? And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay.
That’s unual, bee most gay men, even most gay therapists, believe that if a guy is havg gay sex, he’s gay. ” I always joke wh clients that for me, as a gay man, when I’m walkg on the beach and checkg people out, the women are the way.
WHAT MEANS TO ‘SOUND GAY’
Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women. When a man is a long-term relatnship wh a woman but beg sexual wh men, eher lookg at porn or havg actual sex, he eher will or won’t be homophobic.
The straight men have no homophobia at all—to the pot where they’re willg to seek unselg om me, an openly gay therapist. A lot of tim the gay men never even make to me (whout promptg om their wife, anyway) bee they’re riddled wh homophobia and I’m too gay for them. So if a client is stgglg wh his sexual orientatn and he’s got a lot of homophobia, he’s probably gay.
A gay guy wants to do all of that wh a man, a bisexual guy might want a man or a woman, and the straight guy wants to only be wh a woman that way. He’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been hookg up wh guys he meets through Craigslist.