Stt Takacs, a 46-year-old and father of three, penned a personal say about his experience g out as a gay man to his wife and his children.
Contents:
- MOVG PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERS WH THEIR FAI ACROSS AMERI
- ‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD
- GAY DADDY PORN VIOS
- COMG OUT TO DAD: YOUNG GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN'S EXPERIENC DISCLOSG SAME-SEX ATTRACTN TO THEIR FATHERS
- THREE SGLE, GAY DADS REFLECT ON FATHERHOOD, SURROGACY JOURNEYS
- TOUCHG VIO SHOWS SON E OUT AS GAY TO MORMON DAD
- GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG
- LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG
- GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?
MOVG PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERS WH THEIR FAI ACROSS AMERI
Photographer Bart Heynen set out across the untry to make a visual archive of gay fatherhood "Dads." * gay fathers and sons *
Hosted by Wt Hollywood uple Yan and Alex, the dads e each episo to chat parentg and relatnships, and lately have been focg each episo on the gay rights and fatherhood pathways by untry, and vg a gay father om each lotn on as a gut. There wasn't much of a plan, no guibook hand, only goals that I hoped my boys would start the procs of unrstandg and acceptg their dad for whom I tly was: a gay Stt TakacsIt had been a long 15 months sce g out to my wife, an experience I unfortunately wouldn't scribe as posive, fun or somethg I ever want to repeat. McCormack, who was yterday charged wh sendg child pornography, wrote and directed a five-mute film about a young man's trip to a gay bath hoe protagonist, who wears nothg more than a towel for most of the short film, is seen beg pleasured by an anonymo man, who is later revealed to be his of McCormack's lleagu at ACA said people at the work were disgted by the film - and revealed that he had planned to settle down and have children before his shockg arrt.
" McCormack's movie, lled 'Fay Outg', shows a young man nervoly walkg through a sex club wearg only a towel as other men leer at himMen are seen touchg each other si the Brisbane bath hoe durg the short film The black-and-whe film was shot at an ner-cy gay bath hoe Brisbane. LUCIE - Comg out as gay is hard, but g out as gay to your Mormon dad is really Swk was preparg to go on his first missn trip wh the Church of J Christ of Latter-day Sats when he cid to reveal the news that he was gay to his dad, Vghn Swk.
Acrdg to Michael Kimmel, a soclogist and expert on male sex rol, men monstrate their masculy by repudiatg all that is feme and monstratg an ever-ready willgns to engage sexual terurse wh women whenever the opportuny aris- a nutshell, to prove they are not gay.
‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD
* gay fathers and sons *
Th is no wonr that the boys the study for my book: Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, relled beg so reactive and fearful of the rpons of their fathers—the very people who were expectg them to receive and rry the torch of masculy. " Add to this shame and disappotment men's tenncy to be stoic about problems to avoid appearg petent or weak and one gets a sense why many fathers, like those of the boys prevly quoted, did not want to discs such a topic wh a stranger—a gay stranger, no ls.
GAY DADDY PORN VIOS
Give a big Father's Day hug to Ricky Mart, Neil Patrick Harris, and Anrson Cooper — as well as the rt of our hight-profile gay dads. * gay fathers and sons *
Certaly all fathers need to show that they love their sons and dghters, but fathers of gay sons need to fd ways to surmount the barrier of homophobia and socially scripted queass about gay sex to show their sons that they are ed lovable and serve the love of a good man. The prev edn, which was tled Lbian and Gay Parentg: A Rource for Psychologists (1995) was the succsor to a publitn tled Lbian Parents and Their Children: A Rource Paper for Psychologists that was jotly produced by CLGBC and CWP 1991. Unlike heterosexual parents and their children, however, lbian and gay parents and their children are often subject to prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn that n turn judg, legislators, profsnals, and the public agast them, sometim rultg negative out, such as loss of physil ctody, rtrictns on visatn, and prohibns agast adoptn (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Appell, 2003; Patterson, Fulcher, & Waright, 2002).
COMG OUT TO DAD: YOUNG GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN'S EXPERIENC DISCLOSG SAME-SEX ATTRACTN TO THEIR FATHERS
A Current Affair journalist McCormack wrote and directed a five-mute film about a young man's trip to a gay bath hoe Brisbane, where his father performs a sex act on him. * gay fathers and sons *
As this summary will show, the rults of existg rearch parg lbian and gay parents to heterosexual parents and children of lbian and gay parents to children of heterosexual parents are que clear: Common stereotyp are not supported by the data.
The relevance of this cricism has been greatly rced as rearch has expand to explore life a wir array of lbian mother and gay father fai (many of which have never lived through the divorce of a heterosexual uple), and as newer studi beg to clu a wir array of ntrol groups.
THREE SGLE, GAY DADS REFLECT ON FATHERHOOD, SURROGACY JOURNEYS
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Other cricisms have been that most studi have been based on relatively small sampl, that there have been difficulti wh asssment procr employed some studi, and that the classifitn of parents as lbian, gay, or heterosexual has been problematic. An expert readg of the Sarantakos article reveals that certa characteristics of s methodology and sample are highly likely to have skewed the rults and renred them an valid ditor of the well-beg of children raised by gay and lbian parents at least three rpects:.
TOUCHG VIO SHOWS SON E OUT AS GAY TO MORMON DAD
Few studi have examed the relatnship between young gay and bisexual men (YGBM) and their fathers. Based on a phenomenologil amework, this study vtigated the role of fathers YGBM's g-out experience, focg on how fathers rpond to disclosure of same-sex attractn, how fath … * gay fathers and sons *
The children raised by gay and lbian parents experienced unually high levels of extreme social ostracism and overt hostily om other children and parents, which probably acunted for the former's lower levels of teractn and social tegratn wh peers (see pp. Some nonscientific anizatns have attempted to nvce urts that there is an actual scientific dispute this area by cg rearch performed by Pl Cameron as supportg the existence of fics gay and lbian parents or their children pared to heterosexual parents or their children.
Three ncerns have historilly been associated wh judicial cisn makg ctody ligatn and public polici erng foster re and adoptn: the belief that lbians and gay men are mentally ill, that lbians are ls maternal than heterosexual women, and that lbians' and gay men's relatnships wh sexual partners leave ltle time for ongog parent-child teractns (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Falk, 1989, 1994; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996). Many years ago, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn removed "homosexualy" om s list of mental disorrs, statg that "homosexualy per se impli no impairment judgment, stabily, reliabily, or general social or votnal pabili" (Amerin Psychiatric Associatn, 1974). In 1975, the Amerin Psychologil Associatn took the same posn and urged all mental health profsnals to help dispel the stigma of mental illns that had long been associated wh homosexual orientatn (Amerin Psychologil Associatn, 1975).
The cisn to remove homosexual orientatn om the list of mental disorrs reflects extensive rearch nducted over three s showg that homosexual orientatn is not a psychologil maladjtment (Gonsrek, 1991; Hart, Roback, Ttler, Wez, Walston, & McKee, 1978; Reiss, 1980).
GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG
For Father's Day, NPR spoke to three, gay sgle fathers who ma the choice to bee parents via surrogacy. * gay fathers and sons *
There is no reliable evince that homosexual orientatn per se impairs psychologil functng, although the social and other circumstanc which lbians and gay men live, cludg exposure to wispread prejudice and discrimatn, often e acute distrs (Cochran, 2001; Freedman, 1971; Gonsrek, 1991; Hart et al., 1978; Hooker, 1957; Meyer, 2003; Reiss, 1980).
Beliefs that lbian and gay adults are not f parents likewise have no empiril foundatn (Anrssen, Amlie, & Ytteroy, 2002; Brewaeys & van Hall, 1997; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2000; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Perr, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Victor & Fish, 1995). A recent study of 256 lbian and gay parent fai found that, ntrast to patterns characterizg the majory of Amerin parents, very few lbian and gay parents reported any e of physil punishment (such as spankg) as a disciplary technique; stead, they were likely to report e of posive techniqu such as reasong (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002). Certaly, rearch has found no reasons to believe lbian mothers or gay fathers to be unf parents (Armto, 2002; Barret & Robson, 1990; Bigner & Bozett, 1990; Bigner & Jabsen, 1989a, 1989b; Bos et al., 2003, 2004; Bozett, 1980, 1989; Patterson, 1997; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Sbordone, 1993; Tasker & Golombok, 1997; Victor & Fish, 1995; Wton, 1991).
For stance, one such ncern is that children brought up by lbian mothers or gay fathers will show disturbanc genr inty and/or genr role behavr (Falk, 1989, 1994; Hchens & Kirkpatrick, 1985; Kleber, Howell, & Tibbs-Kleber, 1986; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996).
LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG
Fathers and gay sons: A plited, vally important relatnship. * gay fathers and sons *
For example, urts have exprsed fears that children the ctody of gay or lbian parents will be more vulnerable to mental breakdown, will exhib more adjtment difficulti and behavr problems, and will be ls psychologilly healthy than other children. Three aspects of sexual inty are nsired the rearch: genr inty, which ncerns a person's self-intifitn as male or female; genr-role behavr, which ncerns the extent to which a person's activi, occupatns, and the like are regard by the culture as mascule, feme, or both; and sexual orientatn, which refers to a person's choice of sexual partners, who may be homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual (Money & Ehrhardt, 1972; Ste, 1993). Although some children have scribed enunters wh anti-gay remarks om peers (Gartrell et al., 2005), young adult offsprg of divorced lbian mothers did not rell beg the targets of any more childhood teasg or victimizatn than did the offsprg of divorced heterosexual mothers (Tasker & Golombok, 1995, 1997).
GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?
Inclus a summary of rearch fdgs on lbian mothers, gay fathers and their children, an annotated biblgraphy of the published psychologil lerature and addnal rourc relevant to lbian and gay parentg. * gay fathers and sons *
Studi of the relatnships wh adults among the children of lbian and gay parents have also rulted a generally posive picture (Brewaeys et al., 1997; Golombok et al., 1983; Harris & Turner, 1985/86; Kirkpatrick et al., 1981; Waright et al., 2004). Much of the existg rearch on lbian mothers, gay fathers, and their children was iated to addrs ncerns that arose for such fai the ntext of child ctody disput, and was apparently signed at least part to exame the veracy of mon stereotyp that have been voiced legal proceedgs.
In a study of children born to lbian mothers, Gartrell and her lleagu (2005) reported that 10-year-olds who enuntered anti-gay sentiments among their peers were likely to report havg felt angry, upset, or sad about the experienc. Bee young adolcents are often preoccupied wh their own emergg sexualy, is wily agreed that early adolcence is a particularly difficult time for youth to learn that a mother is lbian or a father is gay (Bozett, 1980; Penngton, 1987; Schulenberg, 1985).