When Your Child Is Gay | Psychology Today

Contents:

• LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG
• ARE WE BORN GAY?
• CHILD DEVELOPMENT FAI WH GAY AND LBIAN PARENTS AND BELIEFS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY
• WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY
• GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*
• A MOL OF GAY, LBIAN, AND BISEXUAL INTY DEVELOPMENT
• ARE CHILDREN "BORN GAY"?

LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG

Youth growg up today will see chang that earlier generatns of lbians and gay men would never have expected their lifetim, cludg policians, bs lears, and tors who are openly gay; marriage between same-sex upl; and an evolvg popular and artistic culture that provis many posive portrayals of lbian and gay characters movi and plays, on televisn, and lerature.

This ongog procs suggts that for some adolcents, self-intifitn of sexual orientatn and the sex of sexual partners may change over time and may not necsarily be ngent (Saewyc et al., 2004) velopment of sexual inty lbian, gay, and bisexual dividuals is a unique procs that has been wily reported the scientific lerature and popular culture but has received surprisgly ltle empiril attentn. Mols of homosexual inty velopment proposed by Cass (1979) and Troin (1989) scribe a staged procs that (1) regniz the impact of stigma that affects both the formatn and exprsn of homosexual inty, (2) unfolds over a perd of time, (3) volv creasg acceptance of a homosexual inty, and (4) clus disclosure to other persons. Furthermore, the velopment of the theoretil mols was based on the retrospective experienc of whe first study to explore the velopment of adolcent lbian and gay inty pth clud 202 LGB adolcents, more than half of whom were racial mory youth (Herdt and Boxer, 1993).

ARE WE BORN GAY?

Invtigators who nducted early work on the velopment of sexual orientatn inty argued that g out or self-intifyg as lbian or gay durg adolcence may be a velopmental procs seen only ntemporary LGB youth—one that may have unique nsequenc for later life-urse velopment pared wh lbian and gay adults who did not e out durg adolcence (Boxer and Cohler, 1989).

While Lato youth disclosed their LGB inty to fewer people than whe or black youth, they were more fortable wh others knowg about their LGB inty than members of the other racial recent rearch examed ethnic and sexual inty velopment durg adolcence among 22 black and Lato gay youth aged 16–22 (Ja et al., 2009).

In the 1999 wave of the Growg Up Today Study (n = 10, 685), a natnal survey of adolcents aged 12–17, approximately 1 percent of adolcents intified as homosexual or bisexual (n = 103), wh 5 percent intifyg as mostly heterosexual (n = 511) and 2 percent intifyg as unsure (n = 226) (At et al., 2004a). In another study, g the 1998–2005 wav of the Growg Up Today Study (n = 13, 795), youth who scribed themselv as lbian/gay, bisexual, and “mostly” heterosexual had higher rat of bge eatg than their heterosexual peers, and all subgroups wh the exceptn of lbians had higher rat of purgg (vomg and/or g laxativ to ntrol weight) throughout adolcence (At et al., 2009a).

CHILD DEVELOPMENT FAI WH GAY AND LBIAN PARENTS AND BELIEFS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY

One statewi survey g the 1995–2001 wav of the Massachetts Youth Risk Behavr Survey examed the associatns among self-intified sexual orientatn (heterosexual, lbian/ gay, bisexual, or not sure), sex of partners, and HIV-related risk behavr among sexually experienced 9th- to 12th-gra femal (n = 3, 973).

On the other hand, McCabe and lleagu (2005) did not fd a signifint difference rat of illic dg e among homosexual, bisexual, and heterosexual llege a muny-based sample of 310 young men who have sex wh men aged 16–24, methamphetame e was intified as rrelated wh high-risk sexual behavr as well as wh specific sexualized social ntexts (for example, the Inter, bathho) (Garofalo et al., 2007b) lerature highlights a number of potential mediators of substance e LGB youth. Addnally, pared wh young men who have sex wh men who self-intified as homosexual or gay, the likelihood of homelsns was four tim greater for those young men who have sex wh men who intified as heterosexual, three tim greater for those who intified as bisexual, and twice as likely for those who intified as transgenr. Unlike heterosexual parents and their children, however, lbian and gay parents and their children are often subject to prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn that n turn judg, legislators, profsnals, and the public agast them, sometim rultg negative out, such as loss of physil ctody, rtrictns on visatn, and prohibns agast adoptn (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Appell, 2003; Patterson, Fulcher, & Waright, 2002).

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY

The relevance of this cricism has been greatly rced as rearch has expand to explore life a wir array of lbian mother and gay father fai (many of which have never lived through the divorce of a heterosexual uple), and as newer studi beg to clu a wir array of ntrol groups. An expert readg of the Sarantakos article reveals that certa characteristics of s methodology and sample are highly likely to have skewed the rults and renred them an valid ditor of the well-beg of children raised by gay and lbian parents at least three rpects:. Some nonscientific anizatns have attempted to nvce urts that there is an actual scientific dispute this area by cg rearch performed by Pl Cameron as supportg the existence of fics gay and lbian parents or their children pared to heterosexual parents or their children.

GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*

Three ncerns have historilly been associated wh judicial cisn makg ctody ligatn and public polici erng foster re and adoptn: the belief that lbians and gay men are mentally ill, that lbians are ls maternal than heterosexual women, and that lbians' and gay men's relatnships wh sexual partners leave ltle time for ongog parent-child teractns (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Falk, 1989, 1994; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996). The cisn to remove homosexual orientatn om the list of mental disorrs reflects extensive rearch nducted over three s showg that homosexual orientatn is not a psychologil maladjtment (Gonsrek, 1991; Hart, Roback, Ttler, Wez, Walston, & McKee, 1978; Reiss, 1980). There is no reliable evince that homosexual orientatn per se impairs psychologil functng, although the social and other circumstanc which lbians and gay men live, cludg exposure to wispread prejudice and discrimatn, often e acute distrs (Cochran, 2001; Freedman, 1971; Gonsrek, 1991; Hart et al., 1978; Hooker, 1957; Meyer, 2003; Reiss, 1980).

A MOL OF GAY, LBIAN, AND BISEXUAL INTY DEVELOPMENT

Beliefs that lbian and gay adults are not f parents likewise have no empiril foundatn (Anrssen, Amlie, & Ytteroy, 2002; Brewaeys & van Hall, 1997; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2000; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Perr, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Victor & Fish, 1995). A recent study of 256 lbian and gay parent fai found that, ntrast to patterns characterizg the majory of Amerin parents, very few lbian and gay parents reported any e of physil punishment (such as spankg) as a disciplary technique; stead, they were likely to report e of posive techniqu such as reasong (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002).

Certaly, rearch has found no reasons to believe lbian mothers or gay fathers to be unf parents (Armto, 2002; Barret & Robson, 1990; Bigner & Bozett, 1990; Bigner & Jabsen, 1989a, 1989b; Bos et al., 2003, 2004; Bozett, 1980, 1989; Patterson, 1997; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Sbordone, 1993; Tasker & Golombok, 1997; Victor & Fish, 1995; Wton, 1991). For stance, one such ncern is that children brought up by lbian mothers or gay fathers will show disturbanc genr inty and/or genr role behavr (Falk, 1989, 1994; Hchens & Kirkpatrick, 1985; Kleber, Howell, & Tibbs-Kleber, 1986; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996).

Three aspects of sexual inty are nsired the rearch: genr inty, which ncerns a person's self-intifitn as male or female; genr-role behavr, which ncerns the extent to which a person's activi, occupatns, and the like are regard by the culture as mascule, feme, or both; and sexual orientatn, which refers to a person's choice of sexual partners, who may be homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual (Money & Ehrhardt, 1972; Ste, 1993). Although some children have scribed enunters wh anti-gay remarks om peers (Gartrell et al., 2005), young adult offsprg of divorced lbian mothers did not rell beg the targets of any more childhood teasg or victimizatn than did the offsprg of divorced heterosexual mothers (Tasker & Golombok, 1995, 1997). Much of the existg rearch on lbian mothers, gay fathers, and their children was iated to addrs ncerns that arose for such fai the ntext of child ctody disput, and was apparently signed at least part to exame the veracy of mon stereotyp that have been voiced legal proceedgs.

ARE CHILDREN "BORN GAY"?

Although those om lbian fai were more likely to explore same-sex relatnships, particularly if their childhood fay environment was characterized by an openns and acceptance of lbian and gay relatnships, the large majory of children who grew up lbian fai intified as heterosexual. Subjects evaluated vigt pictg eher a gay male uple or heterosexual uple and their adopted son along the dimensns of parentg abily, gree to which the child's problems were attributable to the parental relatnship, distrs of the child (cludg genr and sexual inty nfn), and the extent to which ctody reassignment was perceived to be beneficial.

A sgle qutn on relatnship satisfactn revealed no signifint difference between groups reported satisfactn, while the 32-em DAS revealed the gay parentg upl to be signifintly more satisfied wh their relatnships than the heterosexual upl, pecially the area of dyadic hn and affective exprsn. A review of rearch on children of lbian and gay parents intifi some of the sourc of diversy wh lbian and gay parentg muni / prent rearch on those who beme parents the ntext of heterosexual relatnships, before g out as lbian or gay / scribe studi of lbians who beme parents after g out [prent] rearch on children born the ntext of heterosexual relatnships... The amework foc on (1) whether selectn effects produced by homophobia acunt for associatns between parental sexual orientatns and child out; (2) the role of parental genr vis-à-vis sexual orientatn fluencg children's genr velopment; and (3) the relatnship between parental sexual orientatns and children's sexual preferenc and behavrs.

The studi reviewed and the fdgs this chapter ought to be the touchstone of further theory and rearch the study of homosexualy, bee they reprent the most refully signed, reliable, valid, and objective measur of adjtment the armamentarium of the behavral scienc. Although is clear that homosexualy is not and of self related to psychopathology, there are persistent suggtns that the particular strs endured by gay men and lbians, pecially adolcence and young adulthood, may e an upsurge attempted suici and perhaps chemil abe, perhaps temporary or perhaps a segment of homosexuals.