Many parents stggle for years to adjt after learng child is gay, acrdg to a new study om Gee Washgton Universy public health rearchers.
Contents:
- IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
- WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY
- EARLY SIGNS TO TELL YOUR CHILD IS GAYTIMOFDIATHE DIFFICULT JOURNEYUNRSTANDG, ACKNOWLEDGG, AND SHARG ONE'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN WH THE WORLD, IS EASY FOR SOME, WHILE FOR OTHERS THE JOURNEY IS LONG AND DIFFICULT.GETTY-IMAGCOMG OUT ISN'T EASYGAY YOUTH OFTEN FACE THEIR SET OF CHALLENG AFTER G OUT ABOUT THEIR GENR PREFERENC.GETTY-IMAGTHE ROLE OF PARENTSAS PARENTS, ALL YOU N DO IS PROVI THEM WH LOVE AND SUPPORT. THIS N START OM AN EARLY AGE IF YOU N INTIFY THE SIGNS OF YOUR CHILD'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN.GETTY-IMAGDRSG UPIT MAY SEEM STEREOTYPIL, BUT SOME REARCH SUGGTS THAT KIDS SHOW THEIR CLATN BY THE WAY THEY DRS UP. GETTY-IMAGSPEECHAS PER A STUDY, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE SPEECH OF KIDS WHO ARE CLED TOWARDS THE SAME SEX. THE CHANGE THE TONE N EASILY BE TECTED EVEN WHEN THEY ARE FIVE YEARS OLD. GETTY-IMAGTOYS PREFERENCEWHEN ROLE-PLAYG, IF A BOY OFTEN TAK THE FEME ROLE OR THE GIRL LIK TO PLAY ROUGH GAM, THEN YOU NEED TO PAY A LTLE ATTENTN. GETTY-IMAGYOU MAY ALSO LIKECOVID: WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR KID'S IMM...
- WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
- HOW TO TELL IF YOUR KID IS GAY
- WHAT IF YOUR CHILD IS GAY?
- MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
- WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?
- IS MY CHILD GAY, AND IF SO, HOW DO I GET HIM TO BEAT UP OUR NEIGHBOR?
- IS MY SON GAY OR IS A PHASE?
- MORN DOS AND DON'TS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS G OUT
- PARENTG A GAY CHILD
IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
Gay youth often face their set of challeng after g out about their genr preferenc. * is my child gay *
Both lbians and gay men often have a history of cross-sex-typed behavrs: ltle boys beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg. Prehomosexual boys tend to be more attracted to solary sports such as swimmg, cyclg and tennis than they are to rougher ntact sports such as football and soccer.
WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY
My nomatn is alg the days wh a pastor California who reversed his posn on homosexualy. The pastor said that his shift cid wh his 15 year-old son's announcement that he is gay. This is a suatn every Christian should thk through, now. As I've said before, at stake on the issue of a Christian sexual ethic is the gospel of J Christ. But what if, stg across om you, is your child or grandchild? * is my child gay *
It is only relatively recently, however, that velopmental scientists have nducted ntrolled studi to intify the earlit and most reliable signs of adult homosexualy.
EARLY SIGNS TO TELL YOUR CHILD IS GAYTIMOFDIATHE DIFFICULT JOURNEYUNRSTANDG, ACKNOWLEDGG, AND SHARG ONE'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN WH THE WORLD, IS EASY FOR SOME, WHILE FOR OTHERS THE JOURNEY IS LONG AND DIFFICULT.GETTY-IMAGCOMG OUT ISN'T EASYGAY YOUTH OFTEN FACE THEIR SET OF CHALLENG AFTER G OUT ABOUT THEIR GENR PREFERENC.GETTY-IMAGTHE ROLE OF PARENTSAS PARENTS, ALL YOU N DO IS PROVI THEM WH LOVE AND SUPPORT. THIS N START OM AN EARLY AGE IF YOU N INTIFY THE SIGNS OF YOUR CHILD'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN.GETTY-IMAGDRSG UPIT MAY SEEM STEREOTYPIL, BUT SOME REARCH SUGGTS THAT KIDS SHOW THEIR CLATN BY THE WAY THEY DRS UP. GETTY-IMAGSPEECHAS PER A STUDY, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE SPEECH OF KIDS WHO ARE CLED TOWARDS THE SAME SEX. THE CHANGE THE TONE N EASILY BE TECTED EVEN WHEN THEY ARE FIVE YEARS OLD. GETTY-IMAGTOYS PREFERENCEWHEN ROLE-PLAYG, IF A BOY OFTEN TAK THE FEME ROLE OR THE GIRL LIK TO PLAY ROUGH GAM, THEN YOU NEED TO PAY A LTLE ATTENTN. GETTY-IMAGYOU MAY ALSO LIKECOVID: WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR KID'S IMM...
* is my child gay *
In lookg refully at the childhoods of gay adults, rearchers are fdg an trigug set of behavral ditors that homosexuals seem to have mon. So on the basis of some earlier, shakier rearch, along wh a good dose of mon sense, Bailey and Zucker hypothized that homosexuals would show an verted pattern of sex-typed childhood behavrs—ltle boys preferrg girls as playmat and beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls strangely enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg—that sort of thg. Given that a small proportn of the populatn is homosexual, prospective studi require a large number of children.
Although only 12 percent of the women grew up to be genr dysphoric (the unfortable sense that your blogil sex do not match your genr), the odds of the women reportg a bisexual or homosexual orientatn were up to 23 tim higher than would occur a general sample of young women. Bailey and Zucker, who nducted a retrospective study which adults answered qutns about their past, revealed that 89 percent of randomly sampled gay men relled cross-sex-typed childhood behavrs exceedg the heterosexual median.
The thors found that “those targets who, as adults, intified themselv as homosexual were judged to be genr nonnformg as children. There is also evince of a “dosage effect”: the more genr-nonnformg characteristics there are childhood, the more likely is that a homosexual or bisexual orientatn will be prent adulthood. Not all ltle boys who like to wear drs grow up to be gay, nor do all ltle girls who spise drs bee lbians.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
A Mnota school district is facg a Department of Jtice vtigatn and a private lawsu over s alleged failure to bat antigay bullyg.... * is my child gay *
I took to middle school wrtlg as a rather scrawny 80-pound eighth grar, and so dog, ironilly beme all too nsc of my homosexual orientatn. Cross-cultural data show that prehomosexual boys are more attracted to solary sports such as swimmg, cyclg and tennis than they are to rougher ntact sports such as football and soccer; they are also ls likely to be childhood bulli.
Rearchers readily nce that there are que likely multiple—and no doubt extremely plited—velopmental rout to adult homosexualy. Bee the data often reveal very early emergg tras prehomosexuals, children who show pronounced sex-atypil behavrs may have more of a geic loadg to their homosexualy, whereas gay adults who were sex-typil as children might trace their homosexualy more directly to particular childhood experienc.
All else beg equal, I spect we would be hard-prsed to fd parents who would actually prefer their offsprg to be homosexual. Evolutnarily, parental homophobia is a no-braer: gay sons and lbian dghters are not likely to reproduce (unls they get creative).
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR KID IS GAY
What to do when your son tells you he's gay. * is my child gay *
Lang, Elton John and Rachel Maddow's close relativ, but I n only image that the straight k are far better off terms of their own reproductive opportuni than they would be whout a homosexual danglg so magnificently on their fay tre.
So cultivate your ltle prehomosexual's native talents, and your ultimate geic payoff uld, strangely enough, be even larger wh one very special gay child than would be if 10 medcre straight offsprg leaped om your los. I n say as a once prehomosexual pipsqueak that some preparatn on the part of others would have ma easier on me, rather than nstantly fearg rejectn or worryg about some rels slipup leadg to my “exposure.
And another thg: mt be pretty hard to look to your prehomosexual toddler's limpid ey, bsh away the okie cmbs om her cheek and toss her out on the streets for beg article was origally published wh the tle "Is Your Child Gay? As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart. Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this.
WHAT IF YOUR CHILD IS GAY?
In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay.
The difficult journeyUnrstandg, acknowledgg, and sharg one's sexual orientatn wh the world, is easy for some, while for others the journey is long and out isn't easyGay youth often face their set of challeng after g out about their genr role of parentsAs parents, all you n do is provi them wh love and support. Getty-imagWord of utnWhile the signs are generally nsired as an ditn, not all boys who play wh dolls are gay or not all girls who like to play rough are lbians. When parents learn that their child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, they n experience a range of emotns.
MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
As a matter of fact, you might someday look back and fd that you are grateful for the experience of havg a gay or lbian child.
WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?
Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups.
If you jt found out your child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, you may be thkg that such ias are prepostero. The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life. Girls who play wh tcks and boys who play wh dolls) is a good predictor of whether or not a child will turn out to be a practicg homosexual.
Berg, who works at Queen's Universy (serly) Belfast, says that not all children who take up the stereotypil behavr of members of the oppose sex will end up wantg to go to bed wh members of the same sex, but is a good this talk of "pre-homosexuals" and "sexed-type behavr" is way too scientific and plited, so we're gog to break down for you. )No matter what your gay party planner iends tell you, a boy askg for Broadway legend Betty Buckley to perform at his nth birthday party is not mon at dghter sists on sleepg on top of her Dora the Explorer bed spread, not unr your dghter plays "Hoe, " she pretends to be an annoyg doctor wh a pill-addictn and a though 's football, if your son has an obssn wh eher Tom Brady or Mark Sanchez, then he's totally a 'mo.
IS MY CHILD GAY, AND IF SO, HOW DO I GET HIM TO BEAT UP OUR NEIGHBOR?
They immediately clocked as gay, while we immediately clocked them as we warmed up to another, one mom anxly said: "I have a qutn: I am pretty sure my son is gay, but I don't know what to do. "For example, if someone the word "gay" place of "stupid, " remd them that the two are not terchangeable, and suggt they should say what they actually mean stead.
IS MY SON GAY OR IS A PHASE?
"The rourc n help:PFLAG: The untry’s largt anizatn ung parents, fai, and alli wh people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and Spectm: Offers groups, trag, and rourc promotg genr sensivy and cln for all youthGLBT Natnal Rource Database: LGBTQ+ digal directory of rourcNatnal Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network: Directory of therapists/unselors who are people of lorNatnal LGBTQ Task Force: The progrsive advocy arm of the LGBTQ+ movementDurg LGBTQ Pri Month, TODAY is sharg the muny’s history, pa, joy and what’s next for the movement. You will, whout a doubt, have someone close to you your fay e out as gay or lbian, if not already, then sometime the future.
MORN DOS AND DON'TS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS G OUT
The gospel never suggts this set of alternativ, and fact monstrat jt the child, whether gay or straight, is oriented toward s, and so are you. If your child or grandchild says he or she is gay, you shouldn't act shocked, as though you are surprised your child might be tempted toward s, or that you fd your own sful clatns somehow ls servg of God's child's pot of temptatn don't mean that your entire relatnship wh him or her should be fed by that. We don't affirm what the Bible says is wrong simply bee someone we love is drawn toward , whether that's "straight" fornitn or gay relatnships.
Ironilly, those who cut off all relatnship wh a gay child buy to the narrative of the Sexual Revolutnari, that every aspect of one's inty is fed by sexual orientatn and activy. At the root of all of that is pri, and I don't mean that the sense of "gay pri" but the sense of rnal self-seekg. A new study nducted by rearchers at Gee Washgton Universy found that most parents of lbian, gay, and bisexual youth have difficulty adjtg after their kids e study says is one of the first to systematilly exame the experience of parents raisg lbian, gay and bisexual children.
”The study found that Ain Amerin and Lato parents have a harr time acceptg their lbian, gay and bisexual children, as do the parents of children who e out at a later study, which surveyed a much larger sample size than prev studi, nfirmed smaller studi that showed parents’ negative reactns tend to ease over time; the first two years are the harst for were no signifint differenc reactns between mother and father, the age of the parent, or the genr of the child. The study did not exame the reactns for the parents of transgenr general, acceptance seems to be growg rapidly for lbian, gay and bisexual youth. A Mnota school district is facg a Department of Jtice vtigatn and a private lawsu over s alleged failure to bat antigay bullyg.
PARENTG A GAY CHILD
A hefty pile of rearch shows that boys as young as 3 years old who break om tradnal genr rol have a high likelihood of beg gay adults. ) The relatnship isn’t one-to-one, however, and ’s certaly not the se that all boys who love Barbie dolls will later intify as gay. The rrelatn is much weaker the other directn: A disproportnate number of boys who don’t nform to genr stereotyp turn out to be gay men, but lots of gay men played wh G.
Thirty of them beme gay or bisexual adults while jt one child om a 34-member genr-nformg ntrol group turned out to be gay. Gay 3-year-old boys n’t verbalize their sire to be wh a man when they grow up—although many such children exhib cshlike behavr toward adult men—but they may be tryg to learn the behavr that will later attract a male partner. A lot of news this week, cludg the fact that some rightwg anizatns are droppg their support of Supreme Court nomee John Roberts, as Roberts once did some pro bono work for the gay rights se Romer vs Evans ( which the Supreme Court stck down a voter-approved Colorado iative allowg employers and landlords to exclu gays om jobs and hog).
Roberts' work is ighteng to the extreme right, bee means that Roberts might be gay-iendly, or even worse, he might even (After all, isn't a fact that only other gays help gays?