Gay Parents Raisg Kids: How Will They Fare? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED
• MORE GAY MEN CHOOSE SURROGACY TO HAVE CHILDREN
• KIDS CAN THRIVE WH GAY PARENTS
• MORN DOS AND DON'TS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS G OUT
• GAY PARENTS RAISG KIDS: HOW WILL THEY FARE?
• IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED

Others may be ncerned that sgle men or gay male upl would have a harr time adoptg jt bee they are men, but this may not be te. “For gay male sgl/upl, we have particularly easier the matchg procs, as there is no other mom 'replacg' the child’s birth mother and often get chosen quicker.

The procs tak about two years and sts around $200, 000 per child - and prospective gay fathers don't meet eligibily creria for most health surance plans' fertily benefs, although this is begng to change. Brent Monsr, MD, recently helped lead a study to document tails of how gay men e assisted reproductive technology to build their fai, cludg qutns such as how many children they wish to have and how often their efforts succeed. Your paper giv historil ntext for how shiftg attus toward LGBTQ fai have changed the climate for gay men who want to bee fathers.

MORE GAY MEN CHOOSE SURROGACY TO HAVE CHILDREN

There has been a lot of foc the scientific lerature on whether children turn out OK if they have gay parents.

Cisgenr gay men are almost never clud this rearch, so as physicians we don't know anythg about their characteristics as reproductive health patients, even basic rmatn such as their mographics, clil cisn-makg patterns or out. That gave a wdow to a natnal group of 119 cisgenr men, cludg five sgle men and 57 gay upl, who uniquely had fertily benefs. It's important to keep md that our data reflect the experienc of dividuals who n afford reproductive medil re bee their employer-sponsored fertily benefs ver , and that is still an unual suatn for gay men.

This data served as the foundatn for a grant applitn we've jt had approved to nduct a much larger populatn study that will give accs to rmatn on about 2, 000 embryo transfers annually gay men.

KIDS CAN THRIVE WH GAY PARENTS

A lot of people see a fertily doctor bee they have an unrlyg medil issue, whereas gay male upl ually have two possible sperm sourc, a young egg donor and a gtatnal rrier who has already had succsful pregnanci. I thk that, bee of the medil factors, birth rat for gay upl uld serve as a morn standard for evaluatg the succs of IVF labs. We regnize that this may be bee a lot of gay men requt tws or may ultimately want two children, and fertily doctors may be transferrg two embryos to try to save their patients money so they only have to go through the fertily treatment procs once.

But we need to ask: Are we puttg gtatnal rriers at unnecsary risk om tw pregnanci, and puttg gay upl at unnecsary risk of havg babi the NICU? Before I was an OB/GYN, I thought, "This is a health accs issue, and if gay men want tws we should rpect their tonomy. What do add to have physician-scientists like you, who are gay, answerg rearch qutns about this populatn of prospective parents?

MORN DOS AND DON'TS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS G OUT

I'm currently a fellow, and I have patients g specifilly to see me, not bee I'm the most amazg doctor but bee I'm gay, and they want a gay doctor. They provi fancial assistance to those who n’t afford IUI, IVF, egg donatn, or surrogacy is often the most expensive optn, ’s not unmon for people who go down this road — cludg many cisgenr gay men — to stggle to start a fay if they do not choose to adopt or foster. A 2020 survey published by Fertily and Sterily reported that fancial issu were signifint nsiratns gay and bi men’s fay-buildg cisns.

GAY PARENTS RAISG KIDS: HOW WILL THEY FARE?

"Ford is part of what appears to be a shift attu among gay men their 30s and 40s, who hadn't tradnally been all that keen on beg now, acrdg to medil experts and men the gay muny, neher genr, nor sexual orientatn, nor age is an impediment to havg babi. And one of the last breakthroughs of the gay pri movement, more male same-sex upl are now embracg gtatnal surrogacy to have a blogil Ford's se, Richard Buckley, former fashn photographer and Ford's 20-year-partner, has said the past he wanted nothg to do wh babi.

In 2005, Buckley retired as edor--chief of Vogu Homm Internatnal and moved to Italy after beg treated for "who's-your-daddy" bate wh the Ford-Buckley relatnship unrsr the generatn gap wh the male gay muny when to acceptg fatherhood.

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

"When I was my 20s, was unheard of for gay men to want babi to beg wh, " said David, a 45-year-old gay wrer om California, who preferred not to e his full name. A lot of my olr iends had e out of marriag and already have children — men who had e out of divorc when they fally accepted or nonted the fact that they were gay. '"Givg gay men the opportuny to have children also un fai, acrdg to the Center for Surrogate Parentg, which has clics California and Maryland.

"Though not the tras most women would look for a donor profile, " Etheridge apparently admired his mil for gay men who want to raise a child om fancy, adoptn is not always an optn bee there are so few available, domtilly.