Gay Relatnships Can Be More Stable Than Straight On | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW MANY GAY MARRIAG END IN DIVORCE?
• GAY RELATNSHIPS CAN BE MORE STABLE THAN STRAIGHT ON
• HETEROSEXUAL AND HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAG – ARE STRAIGHT AND GAY MARRIAG INTIL?
• THE END OF GAYS: GAY MARRIAGE AND THE DECLE OF THE HOMOSEXUAL POPULATN
• STRAIGHT UPL GET MARRIED EARLIER THAN GAY UPL. HERE'S A LOOK AT WHY.
• GAY MARRIAGE
• GAY MARRIAGE TIMELE
• STUDY FDS GAY UNNS BRIEF
• ARE GAY MARRIAG HEALTHIER THAN STRAIGHT MARRIAG?
• DO GAY MARRIAG HAVE A LOWER RATE OF DIVORCE?

HOW MANY GAY MARRIAG END IN DIVORCE?

Although Kerby wrote this article before same-sex marriage was legalized, his asssment of homosexual relatnships has not changed bee the trsilly disorred nature of same-sex relatnships has not changed.

{18} In a study of male homosexualy reported Wtern Sexualy: Practice and Precept Past and Prent Tim, Pollak found that “few homosexual relatnships last longer than two years, wh many men reportg hundreds of lifetime partners. The thors of The Male Couple reported that their study of 156 mal homosexual relatnships lastg om 1 to 37 years, “Only seven upl have a totally exclive sexual relatnship, and the men all have been together for ls than five years. ” Timothy Dailey argu: “If homosexuals and lbians tly sired the same kd of mment signified by marriage, then one would expect them to take advantage of the opportuny to enter to civil unns or registered partnerships.

However, is clear that few homosexuals and lbians have chosen to take advantage of the var unns (same-sex marriage, civil unns, domtic partnerships), suggtg a difference mment pared wh married upl. Although there is a ncerted effort to ph for homosexual marriage wh our society, we have seen this article that there are fundamental differenc between heterosexual marriage and homosexual marriage. His new seri wh Harvt Hoe Publishers clus: A Biblil Pot of View on Islam, A Biblil Pot of View on Homosexualy, A Biblil Pot of View on Intelligent Dign and A Biblil Pot of View on Spirual Warfare.

GAY RELATNSHIPS CAN BE MORE STABLE THAN STRAIGHT ON

Yet this is precisely what I predict will happen over the very long urse of natural selectn should the societal-level normalizatn of adult homosexual relatnships, such as is happeng currently wh the triumphant legalizatn of gay marriage my new home state of New York, ntu happily on s way.

) Not so very long ago, the ncept of “gay marriage” was so far om beg a legal possibily s leral sense that most listeners would have probably terpreted this phrase to mean a closeted gay man married to a woman, or a lbian to a man. In one extensive study 1978, for example, rearchers Alan Bell and Mart Weberg, factorg ethnic differenc, found that 35 percent of gay whe mal, and 13 percent of gay black mal, reported havg been married to a woman. And Bell and Weberg’s figur almost certaly unrreport the actual equency of such relatnships, too, sce their data e om surveys of sexual orientatn llected durg an unapologetilly homophobic era.

) Still, many studi have sce examed the psychologil experienc of those who acknowledge beg mixed-orientatn marriag—cludg motivatns to enter to such a marriage to beg wh, ternalized homophobia, self-awarens and acceptance, relig iology, experimentg wh open relatnships, and so on—om the perspective of the homosexual as well as om that of the heterosexual spoe. One tertg sex difference, reported 1985 by Universy of Mnota psychologist Eli Coleman, is that lbians tend to marry men at younger ag (mean age of 21) than did gay men marryg women (mean age of 24).

HETEROSEXUAL AND HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAG – ARE STRAIGHT AND GAY MARRIAG INTIL?

And for our purpos, the most relevant fdgs for the qutn we started off wh—which is whether the creasg public support for gay marriage will lead, ironilly, to the eventual cle of the homosexual populatn—is the fact that most homosexuals mixed-orientatn marriag have had at least one child wh their spoe. Although the precise geic mechanisms unrlyg homosexualy are still relatively unknown, we do know that, however the mechanisms actually work, there are ed clear, ntributg geic factors unrlyg homosexual orientatn. The bt evince that homosexualy ns fai as a herable blogil tra om 1990s-era tw studi, which revealed that the nrdance rate (the rate by which tw members overlap on anythg om schizophrenia to creativy to sexual orientatn) for homosexualy is signifintly greater monozygotic tws (intil) than dizygotic tws (who share only half of their gen, jt like non-tw siblgs).

The more rigoroly ntrolled tw studi adjt for possible shared environmental fluenc by takg to acunt, for stance, the sexual orientatn of non-tw siblgs or tws separated at birth, and yet all reveal that homosexualy is at least partially herable. Homosexualy is often prented as an evolutnary “mystery” bee of the obv reproductive disadvantag, and th for s rearchers have sought some adaptive functn for the culturally recurrent percentage (anywhere om 1 to 10 percent of the populatn, pendg on the measur ed) of the human populatn that is aroed more by the same than is by the oppose sex. Yet if we nsir the historil, and perhaps even the anctral, percentage of the homosexual populatn that did fact reproduce bee of societal proscriptns agast adult relatns wh the same sex, the mystery be nsirably ls profound.

THE END OF GAYS: GAY MARRIAGE AND THE DECLE OF THE HOMOSEXUAL POPULATN

Even societi where homosexualy was tolerated, such as Ancient Greece, men tend to engage perasty wh adolcent boys while matag wiv and fai at home—romantic relatnships wh fellow adults were by ntrast nsired reprehensible. For gay men, a healthy imagatn ( what I’ve discsed before this lumn terms of erotic mental reprentatn) would be all that is need to transform one’s md a female vaga to one’s favore male an or mouth. Whatever allel are associated wh homosexual orientatn are transmted by the fx heterosexual means, and this is an age-old reproductive cycle that has been occurrg for as long as adult homosexualy has been proscribed by human societi—and by all acunts, such proscriptn has been the speci’ norm.

The cultural velopments are signifint for the homosexual populatn, not only for the obv sake of gag equaly and protectn agast persecutn for an unalterable phenotypic tra, but bee means that the age-old reproductive cycle that has been so central to mixed-orientatn marriag is slowly but surely breakg.

This is not to say that lbians and gay men who are now ee to marry the same sex will no longer reproduce—many do, and this trend will ntue wh the advent of new reproductive technologi and creasg societal support (such as surrogacy) for those who sire their own blogil children.

STRAIGHT UPL GET MARRIED EARLIER THAN GAY UPL. HERE'S A LOOK AT WHY.

But wh the societal expectatn for men and women to bear children unr the roofs of tradnal oppose-sex relatnships obvly lseng, bed wh the hefty fancial sts of reproductive technologi, as well as the stly terpersonal plexi of arrangements such as surrogacy, not to mentn the fact that homosexual activy among same-sex married upl nnot possibly lead to unplanned pregnanci, homosexual reproductn will clearly cle as same-sex marriag ntue to rise. In an evolvg culture of tolerance and wh the available optn of gay marriage, “g out the closet” will occur at younger and younger ag, and fewer young people will therefore feel strong-armed by shame and obligatn to enter to mixed-orientatn marriag to beg wh.

GAY MARRIAGE

Addnally, wh this creasg societal acceptance of homosexualy, and as a way to circumvent the often surmountable sts associated wh alternative reproductive technologi (at least for gay men) I spect that gay married upl will beg adoptg children wh creasg equency through the support of state-sponsored equaly iativ, effectively puttg a full stop to the transmissn of their gen. In fact, the prosocial cultural velopments may have nsequenc not only for the reproductive rat of homosexuals, but also for their heterosexual relativ who rry homosexual allel.

For example, fdgs om a 2008 study by Brendan Zietsch and his lleagu of the Queensland Instute of Medil Rearch revealed that the blogil relativ of homosexuals (and therefore those that posss allel lked to homosexualy, but who are themselv heterosexual) are at a reproductive advantage over those whout homosexual relativ. Zietsch and his lleagu argue, sentially, that while too many or too potent homosexual allel may rult full-blown homosexualy—which, all else beg equal—is disadvantageo to reproductive succs, the same allel a heterosexual relative tend to lead to that person havg more lifetime sexual partners and th greater reproductive succs.

The logic here is that sex-atypil tras (for example, men who sre more like femal kdns, empathy, and sensivy, or women who, like men, are more willg to engage unmted sexual relatns) are good but not perfect dic of homosexual orientatn, and when they do occur heterosexual dividuals, they make the people more attractive and or terpersonally appealg to the oppose sex.

GAY MARRIAGE TIMELE

Aga, the are jt my, admtedly, entirely speculative predictns for the cle of homosexualy as a direct rult of the creasg legalizatn of gay marriage and the domtitn of exclively same-sex relatnships. If only relig fundamentalists were brighter—which, by ntrast, I see absolutely no sign of change—they might beg to see gay marriage as an answer to their homophobic prayers after all. And until 2015 – when the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage – that didn't clu data shows that the average age at first marriage for homosexual upl was olr than heterosexual upl.

Approval of same-sex relatnships has been steadily risg sce 2009 (Pew Rearch Center, 2017), and the 2015 Supreme Court cisn endorsg same-sex marriage was a w for many lbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) dividuals. Early Years: Same-Sex Marriage Bans In 1970, jt one year after the historic Stonewall Rts that galvanized the gay rights movement, law stunt Richard Baker and librarian Jam McConnell applied for a marriage license Gerald Nelson rejected their applitn bee they were a same-sex uple, and a trial urt upheld his cisn.

STUDY FDS GAY UNNS BRIEF

” This lg effectively blocked feral urts om lg on same-sex marriage for s, leavg the cisn solely the hands of stat, which alt blow after blow to those hopg to see gay marriage beg 1973, for stance, Maryland beme the first state to create a law that explicly f marriage as a unn between a man and woman, a belief held by many nservative relig groups. Though the gay rights movement saw some advancements the 1970s and 1980s—such as Harvey Milk beg the first openly gay man elected to public office the untry 1977—the fight for gay marriage ma ltle headway for many years. In 1989, the San Francis Board of Supervisors passed an ordance that allowed homosexual upl and unmarried heterosexual upl to register for domtic partnerships, which granted hospal visatn rights and other years later, the District of Columbia siarly passed a new law that allowed same-sex upl to register as domtic partners.

C., 1993, the hight urt Hawaii led that a ban on same-sex marriage may vlate that state nstutn’s Equal Protectn Clse—the first time a state urt has ever ched toward makg gay marriage Hawaii Supreme Court sent the se—brought by a gay male uple and two lbian upl who were nied marriage licens 1990—back for further review to the lower First Circu Court, which 1991 origally dismissed the the state tried to prove that there was “pellg state tert” jtifyg the ban, the se would be tied up ligatn for the next three Defense of Marriage Act Opponents of gay marriage, however, did not s on their hnch.

Congrs 1996 passed the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which Print Bill Clton signed to didn’t ban gay marriage outright but specified that only heterosexual upl uld be granted feral marriage benefs. That is, even if a state ma gay marriage legal, same-sex upl still wouldn’t be able to file e tax jotly, sponsor spo for immigratn benefs or receive spoal Social Secury payments, among many other act was a huge setback for the marriage equaly movement, but transient good news arose three months later: Hawaii Judge Kev S.

ARE GAY MARRIAG HEALTHIER THAN STRAIGHT MARRIAG?

Phg for Change: Civil Unns The next saw a whirlwd of activy on the gay marriage ont, begng wh the year 2000 when Vermont beme the first state to legalize civil unns, a legal stat that provis most of the state-level benefs of years later, Massachetts beme the first state to legalize gay marriage when the Massachetts Supreme Court led that same-sex upl had the right to marry Goodridge v.

Kansas and Texas were next 2005, and 2006 saw seven more stat passg Constutnal amendments agast gay towards the end of the , gay marriage beme legal var stat, cludg Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont (the first state to approve by legislative means) and New Hampshire. Domtic Partnerships Throughout the and the begng of the next, California equently ma headl for seawg on the gay marriage state was the first to pass a domtic partnership statute 1999, and legislators tried to pass a same-sex marriage bill 2005 and 2007. For the first time the untry’s history, voters (rather than judg or legislators) Mae, Maryland, and Washgton approved Constutnal amendments permtg same-sex marriage marriage also beme a feral issue 2010, Massachetts, the first state to legalize gay marriage, found Sectn 3 of DOMA—the part of the 1996 law that fed marriage as a unn between one man and one woman—to be unnstutnal.

Wdsor, nservative Jtice Anthony Kennedy sid wh Jtic Ruth Bar Gsburg, Stephen Breyer, Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan favor of same-sex marriage rights, ultimately makg gay marriage legal across the natn June this time, was still outlawed only 13 stat, and more than 20 other untri had already legalized gay marriage, startg wh the Netherlands December 2000. Clients (and reporters) often ask me whether I predict that the gay divorce rate will be higher or lower than the straight divorce rate – which most folks believe is about 50%. Gay marriage is allowed six stat and six foreign untri; six other stat upl n sign up for “all the rights and duti of marriage” but is lled domtic partnership or civil unn – so are those folks nsired married or not?

DO GAY MARRIAG HAVE A LOWER RATE OF DIVORCE?

And, given how new the formal legal relatnships are, and pecially light of the lack of feral regnn of state marriag, the “take-up” rate the gay and lbian muny has been far ls than the percentage of mted straight upl that marry. Roughly half of the “unmarried” lbians and gay men are, nohels, livg relatnships, but for var reasons they choose to keep them rmal – even stat like Massachetts or California where marriage or domtic partnership is an optn. And, sce sexual orientatn isn’t ually tracked even stat that have legalized same-sex marriage, a rearcher would have to look at dividual licens to sort between straight and gay marriag – and for some wh genr-ntral nam further quiry would be need.

Bottom le, we don’t know how many gay “marriag” currently end “divorce, ” and chanc are we won’t know for s whether our legal relatnships last shorter or longer than the straight on.

Same-sex upl are far ls likely to raise children together, for obv blogil reasons and bee of lgerg nsequenc of a socializatn that disurag lbians and gay men om parentg, and is well tablished that havg children leads upl to get married and stay married more often. As a rult of a long history of discrimatn, lbians and gay men tend to have lower tn out and lower (spe the myth of the rich homosexual) and th are ls likely to fd themselv suatns where marriage is appropriate – and th they are ls likely to marry the first place.