Is Your Dad Gay—or Are You a Gay Dad? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY
• IS YOUR DAD GAY—OR ARE YOU A GAY DAD?
• THE GAY FATHER I NEVER KNEW
• MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER THE DAY I FOUND OUT MY FATHER WAS GAY
• AFTER 20 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, MY DAD CAME OUT AS GAY

HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY

Growg up, I was a tomboy — or what Larry David would later ll “pre-gay. And while my father was anx when I first me out as gay at 19, I have only ever felt supported by him.

My brother picked up the word for "gay" – a word my dad repeated several tim durg that that pot, my parents had told they had problems their marriage, but a few months later, when I was around ne years old, we still went on our annual fay summer holiday to France. Until, out of nowhere, my brother sudnly asked, "Dad, are you gay? "There aren't a lot of gay people out there wh a wife and children, " he told me.

IS YOUR DAD GAY—OR ARE YOU A GAY DAD?

I once tagged along wh him to his favoure gay bar, where I met all the iends he's ma there over the years. Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love. There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia.

'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough" said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'" Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3, 000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022.

Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos" relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife. The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage". Are you a dghter whose dad is gay?

THE GAY FATHER I NEVER KNEW

Or are you a gay dad? gay: 1. Most children whose dads are gay were born while their blogil mom and blogil dad were married and livg together.

If you have a gay dad or a lbian mom, after they separate, which of them is most likely to remarry or to remarry and then divorce? Lbian moms are more likely than gay dads to marry their same-sex partner. But gay dads are ls likely to get divorced om their hbands than lbian moms are to get divorced om their wiv.

Gay men may experience more discrimatn than lbians, pecially if they are parents. Our society is still ls acceptg of gay men beg fathers than of lbians beg mothers.

MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER THE DAY I FOUND OUT MY FATHER WAS GAY

But perhaps the most important rearch fdg is that gay dads and their dghters have closer relatnships when dads tell the tth—and the dads are ls clilly prsed than dads who hi this important rmatn om their children (Tornello, 2018).

Sadly, gay fathers are more aaid than lbian mothers to tell their children the tth, regardls of their age.

So if you as a dghter or as a gay dad are still tiptoeg around the topic, ’s time to give yourselv a gift by gettg this skeleton out of the closet. (2018) Adult children of gay fathers.

AFTER 20 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, MY DAD CAME OUT AS GAY

Journal of Homosexualy, 65, 1152-1166. In late 1980, at a support group for gay fathers, my dad met Lnel –– the man wh whom he would spend the next 23 years.

He had seemed kd of lost his new life – phg 60, recently divorced om my mother, recently out of the closet as gay man. He asked that I march wh him, alongsi the other gay fathers and their kids, the Los Angel Pri Para. What I do remember was that someone had ma T-shirts that said "I LOVE MY GAY DAD" and I refed to wear one.