When Gay Men (Mis)Marry Straight Women: Bonnie Kaye's Story | Psychology Today

Contents:

• ESTATE AGENT JAILED FOR VIC ATTACK ON TWO GAY MEN HOLDG HANDS
• WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY
• MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX
• I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GAY MAN
• ASK MATT: CAN A GAY MAN LOVE A TRANS WOMAN?

ESTATE AGENT JAILED FOR VIC ATTACK ON TWO GAY MEN HOLDG HANDS

Gay men were more willg than straight men (12 percent vs. Overall, gay men were far more likely than lbians to exclu dividuals based on their trans stat. Both gays and lbians were, however, nsirably more likely to date a trans person nsistent wh their preferred genr prentatn rather than their preferred genalia (transmen for gays, transwomen for lbians).

That is, how important is to a gay man that his transman date do or do not have a penis or to a lbian woman that her transwoman date has or do not have a penis? You know, the on signed to make people lgh at the expense of homosexuals.

For me to accept them uld only mean one thg: that I was gay. Don’t get me wrong, there is still strong biphobia wh the gay muny.

WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY

More than once have I been told that I was beg greedy or nfed, that was jt a steppg stone to fully g out as gay. However, spe the fears that I’d jump ship and go wh “the other si” at the first opportuny, there seems to be more willgns to take a chance wh the gay muny.

MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX

People will still assume that I am straight or gay. I recently spoke wh Bonnie Kaye, thor of Straight Wiv, Shattered Liv: Stori of Women wh Gay Hbands, among other books, and host of Bonnie Kaye’s Straight Wiv Talk Show on BlogTalkRad. Bonnie has spent much of her adult life first livg wh and attemptg to love a gay hband and then helpg other women the same mis-marriage suatn.

Bee I know untls gay men who were once married to straight women, wh varyg gre of short and longer-term happs and misery, I wanted to discs this topic, and I wanted to do so om the straight wiv’ perspective.

Our discsn was wi-rangg, begng wh her own marriage to a gay man and progrsg to how she was able to move on post-marriage, eventually beg a rock for other women siar suatns. So if somebody told me they’d tried somethg but they didn’t like , there would be no reason for me to thk that the person was gay.

I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GAY MAN

But I certaly didn’t want to marry a gay man. He was a karate teacher, martial arts, a strong guy, looked like Sylvter Stallone, and gay was not one of the issu I thought about wh him. There were issu wh him om the start, but nothg to make me thk that he might be gay.

Then somebody who was part of my social work rmed me, a uple of weeks before we were supposed to get married, that he had spicns that Robert was gay. I thought, “How uld he be gay?

ASK MATT: CAN A GAY MAN LOVE A TRANS WOMAN?

The bottom le is, he was actively gay.

Beg gay back then was really hard.

I had a lot of gay iends California. On the east ast where we were, beg gay was still really hidn. There were a lot of obstacl to beg gay.