Ex-gay Alan Medger wr about emotnal longg men |

Contents:

• JM BARRIE AND ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON’S LOST LETTERS ARE FULL OF GAY LONGG
• SUMMER NIGHT LONGG: A GAY SENR STORY
• SEXUAL DIRE AND FANTASI THE LGBT+ COMMUNY: FOC ON LBIAN WOMEN AND GAY MEN
• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• THE GAY DIVI

JM BARRIE AND ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON’S LOST LETTERS ARE FULL OF GAY LONGG

Apparently, after a year of rrponnce, Barrie wrote: “To be blunt I have disvered (have spected for some time) that I love you, and if you had been a woman…” The sentence was left unfished but those are gay longg ellips, my iends. The two most equently seen non-sexual — that is non-erotic — roots for male homosexualy are 1) a longg for manhood (one’s own), and 2) a longg to nnect wh manhood (someone else’s).

I don’t want to dilute my queerns, but I am trated that Tarkovsky gets to be Tarkovsky, and Jane Campn gets to be Jane Campn, but I get to be Goran Stolevski, the migrant gay [filmmaker]. The theori have foced maly on soccultural and relatnship factors, such as beg ls sexually assertive, experiencg more guilt and nflicts sexualy, havg the tenncy to bee over-fed and merged relatnships, and reportg high rat of sexual trma and ternalized homophobia.

SUMMER NIGHT LONGG: A GAY SENR STORY

For example, lbian women reported dimished sexual sire related to sexual discrimatn, mory strs, ternalized homophobia, relig perceptns of sexualy as a taboo, soccultural prsur to nform to heteronormativy, and stronger genr rol expectatns [17••, 31].

[48] reported the prence of rape fantasi such as “beg forced to have sex by a woman”, “beg forced to do oral sex to a woman”, and “beg raped by a woman” both lbian and heterosexual MenEarly studi found many dividuals perceived gay men as mentally ill or sexually perverted [49, 50], emphasizg variatns personaly and behavr such as anxiety, prsn, and addictn [51].

Ined, ias such as most gay men engage a high rate of sexual activy, are volved risky sexual behavrs, have high number of sexual partners, and are not terted long-term relatnships are still mon among scientists and clicians. Some of the studi discsed the followg paragraphs rely on this background, which general assumptns regardg gay men are ma based on clil subgroups (such as HIV-posive gay men) or settgs (such as gay people reced clics for sexually transmted fectns—STIs). Lippa [52] and Wellg [53] reported that MSM had lower level of sexual sire pared to heterosexual men; nversely, Holmberg and Blair [30] showed that gay men sred morately higher than heterosexual men and women on different exprsns of sire (solary, si the uple and for an attractive person).

SEXUAL DIRE AND FANTASI THE LGBT+ COMMUNY: FOC ON LBIAN WOMEN AND GAY MEN

Moreover, olr men were more likely to ask for the sexual practic they wanted [55], as a rult of a greater experience and nscns about their own sexual sire and studi foced on the prence of higher “pathologil” sexual drive gay men, nsirg as eher addictn, pulsn, or hypersexualy. Acknowledgg how stereotyp may fluence sexual behavr may also help to better unrstand sexual pulsn among gay men [60] stereotyp, one of the reasons why sexual pulsn was associated wh homosexualy is that hypersexual men generally reported non-exclively heterosexual fantasi and behavrs [61], but an epimlogil study nfirmg that MSM are at higher risk for sexual addictn than other men is still lackg.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

However, this benef pends on how the uple implements said l, munite about their feelgs, and mata their boundari [72•] said, generalizg gay relatnship wh open, non-monogamo upl is rctive.

Clicians should be aware that men uld experience tensn balancg their sir for stable and secure relatnships wh sexual opportuni available the gay muny and be mdful of their own prejudic and beliefs [75]. Factors Influencg Gay Sexual DireAlthough gay and heterosexual men might be more siar than they are different their experience of sexual drive [30], factors such as negative stereotyp and stigmatizatn may impact how gay men exprs and terpret their sire [76, 77].

[78] addrsed the role of mood a group of gay men: when facg prsive stat, 16% of men typilly experienced creased sexual tert, while 47% reported a crease; when experiencg anxiety, 24% reported an creased sexual drive, whereas 39% reported a homosexual fantasi and sire is strongly associated wh a perceived negative social climate regardg same-sex sexual behavr and may be functnal for some men dangero ntexts, such as some Arabic untri [79]. In addn, gay men reported ls dysfunctnal sexual beliefs related to “macho ias, ” “partner’s power, ” and “partner’s sexual satisfactn” pared to heterosexual men [86] batn of some illic dgs and sexualy (Chemsex, Party and Play—PnP) among MSM has also some tertg nnectn wh sexual sire. In this sense, should be regnized how the e of dgs, although very risky and harmful, may allow a different kd of liberatn and a pleasurable sexual experience for some gay men [87] FantasiEarly studi [89, 90] highlighted that gay men seem to engage more equently erotic fantasi than heterosexuals, both durg masturbatn and partnered sexual activy.

THE GAY DIVI

Cuckoldg fantasi (sexual aroal obtaed by havg a romantic partner engagg sexual activy wh someone else) were addrsed gay men, sharg many mon elements wh heterosexual-oriented studi on this topic. Andrej is also hot for his opportunistic new hort, who, spe a girliend, has no problem gettg by wh mol-handsome Andrej as all s load potential to evolve to a grippg look at life a rrectnal facily pl an atypil sp on gay longg, the film squanrs much of s nng time wh th, repetive scen of young men behavg badly.

So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label. Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia.