Gay and Can't Fd a Partner? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW TO MATA A GAY RELATNSHIP
• NEW TRENDS GAY MALE RELATNSHIPS: THE CHOIC STUDY
• AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL
• GAY MEN’S FEARS OF LONG-TERM ROMANCE
• GAY AND CAN'T FD A PARTNER?
• GAY RELATNSHIPS CAN BE MORE STABLE THAN STRAIGHT ON
• GAY MEN MONOGAMO RELATNSHIPS: WHAT WORKS?
• THE ASSOCIATNS OF SEXUAL SIRE, DAILY STRS, AND TIMACY GAY MEN LONG-TERM RELATNSHIPS

HOW TO MATA A GAY RELATNSHIP

They started hostg weddgs after their own venue told them — the week of their weddg — that would not acmodate a gay uple.

Based on a batn of amic rearch and the real world experienc of my LGBTQ therapy clients long term gay relatnships, the followg are six practic that n enhance and mata relatnships over a lifetime:. What are the relatnships of young gay men like today?

Ltle rearch is beg done on gay male upl—how they build and sta their relatnships, what they thk about monogamy and marriage, what they believe about the attus of their peers.

NEW TRENDS GAY MALE RELATNSHIPS: THE CHOIC STUDY

But we’d been hearg that younger gay men had some different perspectiv. This year, we pleted our Choic study, which foced on gay men ag 18-40 and explored attus and practic about monogamy and marriage.

AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL

Younger gay men do value monogamy more than their olr unterparts.

I thk this is eful rmatn for anyone workg wh gay men, and for young gay men themselv.

GAY MEN’S FEARS OF LONG-TERM ROMANCE

Younger Gay Men’s Perspectiv on Monogamy, Non-monogamy and Marriage. Convenience sample of 18-40 year old gay men, reced through ads on Facebook and Grdr (an app geared toward gay/bisexual men terted datg or sexual enunters). Before we looked at our survey rults, we had some notn that monogamy had bee a sort of “flt” choice for a lot of younger gay men.

GAY AND CAN'T FD A PARTNER?

Gay lumnist Dan Savage first ed the term “monogamish” (Savage lls “mostly monogamo wh a ltle squish around the edg”).

There are some persistent myths gay men hear about their relatnships. The first is that is impossible for gay men to stay te to a monogamo mment. Both mps also plaed equally about the lack of support they receive the gay muny for their choic.

GAY RELATNSHIPS CAN BE MORE STABLE THAN STRAIGHT ON

We thk this back to the fact that gay men’s relatnships are not “discsable.

There is tremendo tert this kd of rmatn about gay men’s relatnships and a good al of wisdom to be disvered om our rponnts. Gay men’s relatnships play a role many different aspects of muny health, cludg the transmissn of HIV and other STDs.

We do thk, however, that we have opportuni to provi more meangful support to gay men’s relatnships by dog the followg:. If you’re workg wh gay men, we hope you’ll nsir referrg them to the study to learn more about the range of relatnship experienc gay men are havg and the creative approach they are brgg to their relatnships. He has provid servic the HIV/AIDS muny and has a long-standg tert supportg healthy relatnships the gay muny.

GAY MEN MONOGAMO RELATNSHIPS: WHAT WORKS?

Many quiri I have received over and over aga through the years beg somethg like this: “I've always liked olr men, but many gay iends close to my age are cril of me and spic of my motiv. ” One young man said to me, “If I see a handsome gay man my age, he might jt as well have a vaga. Var labels have been ascribed to tergeneratnal upl, whether straight, gay or bisexual: tergeneratnal, age-gap, age-discrepant, or, more often than not, “May-December” relatnships.

Inially, I was unnvced the relatnships were ser, but that was bee I held stereotypil views: an olr gay man who was lookg for a trophy-mate and has the money to take re of his boy toy and a younger man who was lookg for a sugar daddy.

I now regnize this as a hackneyed ia that furiat men age-gap gay relatnships.

THE ASSOCIATNS OF SEXUAL SIRE, DAILY STRS, AND TIMACY GAY MEN LONG-TERM RELATNSHIPS

Based on the number of tim this qutn drops to my mailbox, the reasons for the age-discrepant attractns nsum a great al of bandwidth the thoughts of a lot of young gay and bisexual men. Was pletg his doctoral dissertatn, “May-December: Navigatg Life as an Intergeneratnal Gay Couple, ” he thoroughly rearched what proved to be the limed available lerature on tergeneratnal upl.