Matthew Todd thought he had long sce alt wh the mons surroundg his sexualy. In this extract om his new book, he reveals the crisis of shame facg the gay muny – and how to solve
Contents:
- A SOMATIC PERSPECTIVE ON THE TRMA OF GROWG UP GAY
- WHAT IS GAY ATTACHMENT TRMA AND WHY DO WE ALL HAVE IT?
- MATTHEW TODD ON GROWG UP GAY: "WE ARE STRAPPED SI A CULTURAL STRAJACKET"
- GROWG UP GAY
- GROWG UP GAY SMALL TOWN AMERI
- 3 MYTHS ABOUT GAY MEN & TRMA
- CRISIS: 40 STORI REVEALG THE PERSONAL, SOCIAL, AND RELIG PA AND TRMA OF GROWG UP GAY AMERI
A SOMATIC PERSPECTIVE ON THE TRMA OF GROWG UP GAY
* growing up gay trauma *
It is important to unrstand how repeated hateful acts toward gay youngsters n impact the way their bodi and mds functn, cludg the functng of their nervo system. Drawg om their work and my s of experience, is my unrstandg the ongog strs om homophobia n activate a youngster’s nervo system and “unrolved activatn will be stored the body as bound energy and manift as trma symptoms. Acrdg to many studi, gay dividuals who experienced homophobic related strs showed creased productn of the strs hormone rtisol pared to peers safer environments.
WHAT IS GAY ATTACHMENT TRMA AND WHY DO WE ALL HAVE IT?
Geni Pictur has optned Emmett Monterey’s memoir about growg up gay and disabled 1980s London for TV adaptatn. * growing up gay trauma *
In my unselg work, I have noticed when the nervo system gets stuck on eeze, when numbns and tachment bee a gay man’s domant state, he is more likely to engage risky behavrs as a temporary relief om ner adns.
Thrill seekg behavrs such as sexual actg out, excsive gamblg, and crystal meth (crystal methamphetame) e are ways some gay men pe the emotnal flatns that rults om experiencg the hypo-aroal state. ” For those of who have had paful stggl wh homophobia, life after the closet needs to clu alg wh memori of homophobic mistreatment that n lie dormant our body.
MATTHEW TODD ON GROWG UP GAY: "WE ARE STRAPPED SI A CULTURAL STRAJACKET"
This article vers myths about gay men and trma that are gettg the way of mental health and seekg unsellg or therapy Canada. * growing up gay trauma *
Acrdg to many studi, gay dividuals who experienced homophobic-related strs showed creased productn of the strs hormone rtisol pared to peers safer environments. In my unselg work, I have noticed that when the nervo system gets stuck on eeze, when numbns and tachment bee a gay man’s domant state, he is more likely to engage risky behavrs as a temporary relief om ner adns.
GROWG UP GAY
This groundbreakg new book weav personal portras of lbian and gay Southerners wh terdisciplary mentary about the impact of culture, race, and g * growing up gay trauma *
Thrill-seekg behavrs such as actg out sexually, excsive gamblg, and crystal meth (crystal methamphetame) e are ways some gay men pe the emotnal flatns that rults om experiencg the hypo-aroal state.
GROWG UP GAY SMALL TOWN AMERI
Books | Human Rights | LGBT Growg up gay Ameri by Lda Greene Augt 8, 2009 Gay teens -- gay mal, lbians, bisexuals and transgenr people -- are four tim more likely to m suici than their straight peers. For all youths, those aged * growing up gay trauma *
Recently my iend sent me a very helpful vio by relatnship ach and psychotherapist Alan Robarge, “Growg Up Gay and Attachment Wounds: Impact on Relatnships, ” and ’s the first time I’ve ever enjoyed listeng to a man expla somethg to the voice of a wise rtoon owl who’s jt had six iced ffe, Robarge breaks down how growg up gay n create or worsen “attachment wounds, ” which then permeate our nervo system and psyche, and affect how we velop relatnships. On 8 April 2013, at the offic of Attu (the UK’s btsellg gay magaze, of which I am edor), as we watched the world’s reactn to the passg of a lear who had famoly attacked schoolkids beg tght they “had an alienable right to be gay”, 30 away Rob was reachg the end of his abily to was the younger brother of Attu’s advertisg manager, Andy. Together the thgs sound like a huge alarm bell, but spread across years they didn’t feel like an emergency; lots of gay men, like straight people, had transient relatnships.
Ined, gay culture seemed to celebrate partyg as a central te of our inty and Rob was sg and lghg the sexy Facebook pictur of him out clubbg, surround by day after Thatcher’s ath, Andy lled the office to tell that Rob had wrten not to his parents and a birthday rd to Andy, then gone to the seaont where he and his brothers and sister ed to play as children, and hanged himself.
Culturally, homosexualy and misery have been lked so tightly by the haters over the years that they have bee an offensive cliché to the pot where any discsn is dismissed as prejudice. As therapist and thor Joe Kort stat so well his book 10 Smart Thgs Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Liv, what’s wrong is not our sexualy, but our experience of growg up a society that still do not fully accept that people n be anythg other than heterosexual and cisgenred (ie born to the physil genr you feel you are). Well-meang straight people wh gay iends don’t meet the young people who tell me they are spat on and homophobilly abed every day the street or, as one man reunted, that his father stops him om dg wh his siblgs se he turns them gay, too.
3 MYTHS ABOUT GAY MEN & TRMA
The generatn before me was cimated by HIV and Aids, and we were subjected to the acpanyg extreme homophobia of the Brish media – most notably the tabloids, and most extremely by the Sun unr the edorship of Kelv have fotten that we endured a seemgly neverendg propaganda mpaign of breathtakg tensy.
CRISIS: 40 STORI REVEALG THE PERSONAL, SOCIAL, AND RELIG PA AND TRMA OF GROWG UP GAY AMERI
And yet the media, unable to unrstand that young children n know they are gay (and be bullied for – I was 10 or 11 when I realised) almost never explicly addrs homo/bi/transphobic bullyg or exame s nsequenc, such as the fai that are left vastated. We – the media, parents, the untry – jt don’t seem to gay people, we tend to thk we’ve ped once we leave school, but is beg clearer and clearer that severe bullyg n change the urse of an adult’s life.
On g out, what I need was therapy – not (as the homophobic Christian speaker told me at school) to erase my homosexual clatns, but to accept and e to terms wh them. As last year’s Vice documentary Chemsex showed, the new wave of super-powerful dgs, such as crystal meth, G and mephedrone, are brgg the problems to the surface among a mory, albe a signifint one, of gay and bisexual men. If we really have the grty termatn that is so popular the diva-ish anthems of gay clubs across the world, then the time has fally arrived to face the storm and fd our way out the other si.