How To Make Gay Friends: An LBGT Friendship Gui — Skip the Small Talk

Contents:

• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS: AN LBGT FRIENDSHIP GUI
• IS MY FRIEND GAY QUIZ
• HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
• MEETG YOUR FIRST GAY FRIEND
• HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS
• GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
• HOW TO HAVE A GAY FRIEND
• I’M PRETTY SURE MY IEND IS GAY. HOW DO I ASK HIM?
• I THOUGHT I DIDN'T NEED GAY FRIENDS; I WAS WRONG
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR IEND IS GAY
• HOW TO TELL A FRIEND YOU'RE GAY AND YOU LOVE THEM
• CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?
• HOW TO FD YOUR GAY BT FRIEND
• AS A STRAIGHT MAN, HOW N I POLELY STOP MY GAY IEND FLIRTG WH ME?

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

For example, his fay may be vlently homophobic and by cidg that he's gay, you may out him by accint by treatg him different or implyg somethg whout meang to. If you're tryg to figure out if your iend is gay bee you want to date him (as a woman), 's important to remember that jt bee he might be terted men don't mean he's not terted women. One of the theori about why some people are gay has to do wh the hormon that they're exposed to before they're born.

The hormone exposure levels may manift actual, physil ways which n be a vague ditor that a guy might be gay. It is possible that your guy iend is not gay but stead falls somewhere else on the Ksey sle of unirns and awomens.

Although some people the gay culture may put on a certa voice or a way of speakg, your iend talkg a siar or "effemate" way is still not a very good way to judge.

HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS: AN LBGT FRIENDSHIP GUI

Everyone n enjoy different thgs; jt like a woman might enjoy watchg football, guys n also enjoy thgs that are more monly associated wh women or the gay muny. The movi he watch and the mic he listens to are also not fair methods to gge if he is straight or gayer than Elton John and Gee Takei put together. Sometim you might assume that jt bee a guy only hangs out wh girls or jt bee his bt iend also seems gay, then he might also be gay.

Subtly brg up subjects that show him that you're okay wh your iends beg gay and that he don't need to hi his nature around you. You n talk about another iend that is gay or even jt about someone hypothetilly g out if you don't know someone who's gay.

IS MY FRIEND GAY QUIZ

Say somethg like, "You know you're stuck wh me as a iend no matter what, but I jt have to ask bee I don't want to make assumptns and e to the wrong nclns: are you gay? Article SummaryXTo tell if your guy iend is gay, notice whether he refers to other guys as attractive, which uld be a sign that he’s gay.

Pay attentn to how much he talks about women a romantic or sexual way, sce a lack of tert women uld suggt he’s gay. Outsi of LGBTQ+-specific meetups, a great way to fd LGBT iendships is actually by attendg meetups that gay people typilly like. " If you want to talk about your iend to a parent or guardian, try askg "Would you be okay wh me mentng that you're gay to my parents if me up, or would you prefer that I keep quiet?

Acceptance n make a huge different the liv of LGBTQIA (Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgenr, Queer, Intersex, and Asexual) people. Article SummaryXIt might e as a b of a shock to fd out your bt iend is gay, but by supportg them and givg yourself time to get ed to , your iendship n be jt like was.

HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY

It probably took a lot of urage for your iend to e out as gay, so tell them that you accept them for who they are to be a good iend.

At tim, many gay men feel as though they're the only on experiencg certa thoughts and feelgs, on that society still often ems abnormal.

MEETG YOUR FIRST GAY FRIEND

So when a gay man first bonds wh someone else who intifi as gay or queer, 's evably a total lightng bolt moment. He didn't still a sense of ternalized homophobia me, which was important bee I was a mpy gay guy who'd always been teased for beg mpy.

" He gave me the permissn to be myself when I didn't even know who that, on DeanI grew up a small nservative town and didn't know anyone gay at school, so I met my first gay iends through social media. Every time you attend a Pri March, ftival or cent Gay Club Night, you may have noticed jt how many fellow queers live your cy.

HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS

There are a few webs that list specialized LGBTQ meet-ups, but hontly, simply Google your hobby, cy, and the word "gay" and see what up. Post notic general birdg, bikg, and crochetg areas to let folks know you'd like to enjoy your pastime wh gay pany.

When I me out to my parents I started off by sayg "Hey one of my iends me out to me and said they were gay what should I do? I’ll never fet beg 15 years old and walkg to my first ever meetg for lbian, gay, bi, queer, and trans youth at BAGLY Boston. ”) The close queer iends we make bee a chosen fay, wh a shared culture and inty, formg the bonds that are sential to our wellns and as gay bars and bookstor are closg left and right, many of have turned to apps to fill that gap, meang we spend more time than ever alone our rooms.

LGBT2Q people exist all genrs, all cultur, and relyg on your gaydar is a good start, but expandg your queer and trans cultural referenc will boost your abili.

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

Instagram and Twter make easier to fd other people wh the same terts, whether ’s hedgehogs or aerosol art, and there are so many homo-tastic hashtags.

Try #QueerStyle, #BlackTransExcellence, #QueerFemme, #LbianMem, #BiLove, #GenrEuphoria, #Gaysian, #LGBTTikTok. Or, add your inty to your state, school, or profsn to fd #GayMichigan or #QueerMorehoe or #TransUtah or #PansexualUK and more.

That may be surprisg news if you’ve been raised a homophobic branch of your relig tradn, but I promise you—they’re out there, and they n’t wa to wele you (and you may fd really healg to brg your whole self to your fah tradn). Check out Unlikely Hikers, which specifilly wel and celebrat people who don’t f the classic Patagonia profile cludg fat folks and hikers of lour; Venture Out Project, which is n by and explicly wel trans people; Gay SCUBA Week and Queer Paddlers; and basilly what I’m sayg is that if you want to be out and Out there are fely other ‘mos to do wh your area. If you’re newly sober or revery and tryg to avoid plac, people, or patterns that may not be healthy for you right now, a gay AA or other revery meetg might be a double-w for you: support on your path and a boost for your new social life.

HOW TO HAVE A GAY FRIEND

” or “What a great lor story, ” ’s extremely likely they’re sayg HELLO I AM ALSO QUEER AND/OR TRANS AND I WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO don’t be fooled if someone don’t “look gay.

I’M PRETTY SURE MY IEND IS GAY. HOW DO I ASK HIM?

We’re everywhere and we look like anyone and also please don’t ntribute to the ia that there’s one way to look gay, ol? Sex the Cy, Will and Grace), though a lot ls has been said about how gay and straight men regnize and negotiate the distct challeng, plitns, and rewards of their iendships. Straight men et that if they get too close, others will see them as gay; which their mds means feme (horrors!

S., before there was such a thg as a gay inty, some straight men would, wh ltle shame, engage sexual ntact wh other men (ually allowg themselv to be fellated) when female partners were otherwise unavailable (see Gee Chncey’s semal book, Gay New York: Genr, Urban Culture, and the Makg of the Gay Male World 1890-1940) and there is good reason to believe this still occurs other untri and cultur. The mid 20th century this behavr beme associated wh gay inty, new at the time and seen as crimal and then sick.

I THOUGHT I DIDN'T NEED GAY FRIENDS; I WAS WRONG

As a rult of this behavr-inty lk, sexual ngrs between gay and straight men creased nsirably, or at least went unrground. Gay men have suffered physil, social, and psychologil abe at the hands of heterosexually intified mal who, thanks to homophobia and heterosexism, felt fully jtified flictg the terrors.

This legacy of vlence, both physil and psychologil, flicted by straight men toward those of who are gay naturally fuels our utn and distst at the thought of beiendg them.

For the straight guy, iendship wh a gay man offers the opportuny to learn important lsons about masculy, male inty, sexual orientatn, and diversy.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR IEND IS GAY

As the quote go: You n never have too many iends—and iendships between gay and straight guys n be healg and uniquely satisfyg for all volved. The acronym LGBTQIA+ is ed to scribe the muny of people who intify as Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgenr, Queer, Intersex, and/or Asexual.

When someone out as gay, lbian, bisexual or pansexual, or asexual, this has to do wh their sexual orientatn, or who they are attracted to sexually and/or romantilly. A gay, lbian, bisexual/pansexual, or asexual person may end up a relatnship wh someone of the same genr, or a relatnship that is otherwise “non-heteronormative” — meang that the two people the relatnship do not intify as straight and cisgenr. If you already have gay iends, ask them to troduce you to some of their gay iends so you n expand your work.

If you get asked to hang out wh a gay iend, do even if you're not really exced about sce 's an opportuny to meet iends. The are great sual plac to meet other gays, pecially if you're to a quieter atmosphere or aren't old enough to go to a bar. " Obvly, jog a gay-rights group is an optn for meetg gay iends, but you uld branch out to anythg you're terted .

HOW TO TELL A FRIEND YOU'RE GAY AND YOU LOVE THEM

For example, you might jo an LGBT service group that plants tre, distribut food or suppli to the homels, or rais awarens for gay rights. While n be easier to go to popular gay spots, don't overlook the fact that gay people are at the store, library, rtrant, etc. " They may ask you out, or if they get the sense that you're gay, they may be able to pot you to a well-known LGBT spot town.

For example, if you hear someone say, "That's so gay, " you uld say, "How do you thk that would make a gay person feel? You might read about qutns that you shouldn't ask, the stggl a gay person go through, and what the gay muny is like your area. Have you ever heard the words g om a ar, heterosexual-by-flt iend: “You nnot tell a livg soul, but I am gay.

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

Assumg that you haven’t been dwellg unr a homophobic rock for the past 20 years, you’ll know thatgay, bisexual, transgenr and other non- heterosexual people are beg creasgly fortable about owng their inti and “g out” legimacy of sexual orientatns (note: not “preferenc”) is a sealed chapter.

Therefore, a person don’t jt ci to be is important that you not e the word “ci”, as impli that you are accg your iend of optg to be gay, makg them feel like they are at flt for the societal opprsn they enunter. ”Self-acceptance n be pecially hard for LGBTQ+ teens, but there is support out there2 “But my relign is agast gays – people like you. ”Pop star Calum Stt talked to about beg an advote for LGBTQ youth, and how he unwds4 “How do you know you’re gay if you’ve never kissed a (member of the oppose genr)?

HOW TO FD YOUR GAY BT FRIEND

It often stuns me how equently people, jt day-to-day nversatn, wh no malic tent, e words that n alienate someone who is gay. ) To be ank, havg a gay iend group is as important to queer life as iced ffee ’s a sad but te fact that growg up gay n be an isolatg experience.

AS A STRAIGHT MAN, HOW N I POLELY STOP MY GAY IEND FLIRTG WH ME?

) On top of that, take to acunt the hurdl of gay culture: beg the closet, g out, homophobia, ternalized homophobia, and velopg ep, unrequed csh on straight acquatanc om high school you barely spoke to, cludg that guy who was two years olr than you wh the dirty brown hair and always wore tank tops durg the summer and uld have moled and now is probably married wh three kids and I’m pretty sure his name was Ian. Somewhere along this super gay marathon (and I’m reag om sertg a pole metaphor here, send ngratulatns at your nvenience), you slowly accumulate some like-md iends beyond the people you’re hookg up wh or datg, and beg to realize there are ed others who have wad through the same torrent of emotns and experienc you’ve enuntered.

Prevly feelg like the sole gay the universe, like Sigourney Weaver walkg the halls of Nostromo at the end of Alien soaked sweat, you’ve fally found other telligent queer life. )Wh gay iends, you sudnly have others to miserate wh about eper tails that no straight iend, while passnate, uld ever be properly equipped to unrstand. )But more important than tradg war stori, a group of gay iends is there for you when you need them day-to-day.

), your gay iends are there to get dnk wh on a Saturday night, followed by group msagg each other on Sunday morng that GIF of Kim Kardashian slidg unr bedvers. A member of your gay iend group will also happily be there to take a picture of you for your Instagram, and will be jt as happy to take the same picture 30 more tim wh only slightly different angl bee turns out ’s you who’s the importance of cultivatg gay iendships went over my head durg my personal evolutn, as I ially unrstood my own sexualy as much as I unrstood 11th gra math. And like tryg to figure out the Pythagorean Theorem g a toaster oven stead of a lculator, navigatg my own queerns early on whout gay iends was a mostly futile effort.