Three sgle, gay dads talk about their journeys. : NPR

Contents:

• IS YOUR DAD GAY—OR ARE YOU A GAY DAD?
• HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY
• EXPLORG WHO IS AND WHAT MAK A GAY “DADDY”
• GROWG UP WH A GAY FATHER – CONFSNS OM A STRAIGHT SON
• GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG
• ‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD
• THREE SGLE, GAY DADS REFLECT ON FATHERHOOD, SURROGACY JOURNEYS
• DAD AND DAD: A JOURNEY TO GAY FATHERHOOD – PICTUR
• THE GAY FATHER I NEVER KNEW
• MOVG PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERS WH THEIR FAI ACROSS AMERI

IS YOUR DAD GAY—OR ARE YOU A GAY DAD?

Most children whose dads are gay were born while their blogil mom and blogil dad were married and livg together.

HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY

If you have a gay dad or a lbian mom, after they separate, which of them is most likely to remarry or to remarry and then divorce? But gay dads are ls likely to get divorced om their hbands than lbian moms are to get divorced om their wiv. Gay men may experience more discrimatn than lbians, pecially if they are parents.

Our society is still ls acceptg of gay men beg fathers than of lbians beg mothers. But perhaps the most important rearch fdg is that gay dads and their dghters have closer relatnships when dads tell the tth—and the dads are ls clilly prsed than dads who hi this important rmatn om their children (Tornello, 2018). Sadly, gay fathers are more aaid than lbian mothers to tell their children the tth, regardls of their age.

So if you as a dghter or as a gay dad are still tiptoeg around the topic, ’s time to give yourselv a gift by gettg this skeleton out of the closet. My brother picked up the word for "gay" – a word my dad repeated several tim durg that that pot, my parents had told they had problems their marriage, but a few months later, when I was around ne years old, we still went on our annual fay summer holiday to France. "There aren't a lot of gay people out there wh a wife and children, " he told me.

EXPLORG WHO IS AND WHAT MAK A GAY “DADDY”

I once tagged along wh him to his favoure gay bar, where I met all the iends he's ma there over the years. This me as a surprise sce my dad always seemed so tradnal and homophobic(which I never liked).

While the term “daddy” has gotten more and more popular the gay muny over the past several years, therapist Matthew Dempsey’s latt YouTube vio explor what mak a gay “daddy?

GROWG UP WH A GAY FATHER – CONFSNS OM A STRAIGHT SON

“Growg up gay, most of didn’t have parents who shared that inty and uld gui through that experience as we stepped to adulthood. “Whether for iendship or romance, we n easily fd ourselv drawn to olr gay men for answers we never got and always need. Dempsey enlists the aid of his iend and “rint daddy, ” Eric Rutherford, to chat on how beg a gay “daddy” affects gay men regard to agg, datg, and takg re of yourself mentally and physilly.

Rutherford shar that the “first big love” of his life mted suici when he reached his 60s feelg he had “aged out” of gay culture.

GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG

In this example, you happened to see him naked a settg that n be sexually arog for a lot of gay man. When he was younger we had spicns he would turn out gay, so we always showsed our support so we knew he’d be fortable if he was, but once he h puberty was clear he was to girls, always talked about them, never showed tert boys romantilly, and started datg a girl a few months back.

My 12 y/o is a sweet boy, but we (largely due to stereotyp, which you n blame on ), never spected he was gay. His boyiend’s parents know they’re a uple, and his boyiend is openly gay to their school as well.

He’s been askg some more qutns about dynamics a gay relatnship, and also been askg about gay history (he’s a very smart boy). Growg up wh a gay father, particularly one who was aaid to e out, prented challeng our abily to get emotnally close.

‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD

From my earlit memori of my Dad around age 5, I thk I always knew my dad was gay. After all, he was the son of a Baptist Preacher and there would not have been much tolerance the 1940’s or 50’s for him to e out as gay.

In talkg to both of them over the years, they both claim they had no ia my Dad was gay.

In retrospect, the fact that he was a cheerlear his bt iend was a male hairdrser (who was openly gay) that my Uncle Buddy nicknamed him “Percy” (which my Dad hated) and that my Dad went on to open a home furnishgs store might have been a clue. Realizg his sexualy and beg a gay father the late 1960s, pecially wh me a long way away, mt have been really transformative for my Dad.

THREE SGLE, GAY DADS REFLECT ON FATHERHOOD, SURROGACY JOURNEYS

He lived and around the Oak Lawn area of Dallas (long a predomantly gay or at least gay-iendly neighborhood).

DAD AND DAD: A JOURNEY TO GAY FATHERHOOD – PICTUR

He was meetg lots of openly gay people & gog to clubs where was OK to be openly gay. My Dad, of urse, was sistent that no one would obvly know he was gay (which also ma Tom and I lgh).

THE GAY FATHER I NEVER KNEW

In Loren’s se, he didn’t e to terms wh beg gay until the age of 40 and was married wh children at the time. The one benef to always knowg I had a gay father is that there was never I time I rell thkg was wrong. I first realized my Dad was gay when I was around 7 or 8, and I have no rellectn of him beg wh my Mom.

MOVG PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERS WH THEIR FAI ACROSS AMERI

Almost all his iends were gay as were most of his employe (those 2 groups pretty much beg the same people). That beg said, I was probably spared a lot of bullyg at school sce no one there knew I had a gay father.

I feel que sure I got lucky this regard and that many kids wh a gay father were picked on for their parent’s sexualy. I’m proud of the fact that I and their mother have raised our dghters to not qutn or judge my Dad or Tom beg gay. Our girls simply accept them for who they are, jt as they do all their other fay members who happen to not be gay.