Gay Men and Straight Men as Friends | Psychology Today

Contents:

• GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
• GAY AND STRAIGHT QUOT
• GAY FRIEND QUOT
• MORE IENDSHIPS BETWEEN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN ULD MAKE EVERYBODY HAPPIER
• GAY FRIENDSHIP QUOT
• CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?
• GAY QUOT

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

The bonds between gay men and straight women have been wrten about and featured popular media (i. Sex the Cy, Will and Grace), though a lot ls has been said about how gay and straight men regnize and negotiate the distct challeng, plitns, and rewards of their iendships.

Acrdg to Garfield, among the many obstacl to male-male platonic timacy, fear of homosexualy looms large. Straight men et that if they get too close, others will see them as gay; which their mds means feme (horrors!

S., before there was such a thg as a gay inty, some straight men would, wh ltle shame, engage sexual ntact wh other men (ually allowg themselv to be fellated) when female partners were otherwise unavailable (see Gee Chncey’s semal book, Gay New York: Genr, Urban Culture, and the Makg of the Gay Male World 1890-1940) and there is good reason to believe this still occurs other untri and cultur. The mid 20th century this behavr beme associated wh gay inty, new at the time and seen as crimal and then sick. As a rult of this behavr-inty lk, sexual ngrs between gay and straight men creased nsirably, or at least went unrground.

GAY AND STRAIGHT QUOT

Gay men have suffered physil, social, and psychologil abe at the hands of heterosexually intified mal who, thanks to homophobia and heterosexism, felt fully jtified flictg the terrors.

This legacy of vlence, both physil and psychologil, flicted by straight men toward those of who are gay naturally fuels our utn and distst at the thought of beiendg them. As turns out, the gay iend worried that if he hugged too closely his iend would thk he was g on to him.

GAY FRIEND QUOT

For the straight guy, iendship wh a gay man offers the opportuny to learn important lsons about masculy, male inty, sexual orientatn, and diversy.

As the quote go: You n never have too many iends—and iendships between gay and straight guys n be healg and uniquely satisfyg for all volved. "Comg out" means tellg your iends, fay, -workers, or the Inter that you proudly intify as a member of the LGBTQ+ 's not jt for gay, lbian, or bisexual people. They are also tim to remember that there is still a long way to go when to human rights, gay rights, and LGBT rights.

MORE IENDSHIPS BETWEEN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN ULD MAKE EVERYBODY HAPPIER

" —Kev KidwellRELATED: 10 Thgs I Need My Ex-Wife To Know After Comg Out As A Gay ManLGBTQ Quot Celebratg Pri Month13. “It tak some telligence and sight to figure out you’re gay and then a tremendo amount of balls to live and live proudly. “I thk beg gay is a blsg, and ’s somethg I am thankful for every sgle day and have been my entire adult life.

GAY FRIENDSHIP QUOT

“The next time someone asks you why LGBT Pri march exist or why Gay Pri Month is June tell them ‘A bisexual woman named Brenda Howard thought should be. And once that happened, the whole hoe of rds that was the system of opprsn of gay people started to cmble. “The spir that emerged outsi a Mafia-n bar 1969 beme the pulse of the gay muny and spired not jt an annual para but ways to exprs gay pri dividual liv.

Throughout morn history, gays had thought of themselv as somethg like a mental illns or maybe a s or a crime.

While the annual observance is dited to the LGBTQ+ muny, is also a time for everyone to show their support — jt like the Pri quot about iendship do, bee love is love, and I'm not jt talkg about the romantic kd, month is about celebratg and givg a voice to gay, lbian, bisexual, transgenr, and queer men and women, but is also an opportuny for alli to take a stand agast the discrimatn of the LGBTQ muny and show support for their iends and loved on. "The last time I checked, the only difference between my gay iends and I is who we choose to love.

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

Well, I've had the privilege of seeg my gay iends beg parents and watchg their kids grow up a lovg environment.

GAY QUOT

"My love for my gay fans is jt pure, thentic love for them as supporters of me om the begng, and me feelg nnected to their stggl as someone who is a part of their fight. Every sgle Amerin - gay, straight, lbian, bisexual, transgenr - every sgle Amerin serv to be treated equally the ey of the law and the ey of our society. Everyone—whether straight, gay, lbian, bisexual or transgenr—should be allowed to show their te lors, and be accepted and loved for who they are.

And that really ptur the difference for the bullied straight kid vers the bullied gay kid, is that the bullied straight kid go home to a shoulr to cry on and support and n talk eely about his experience at school and why he's beg bullied. Several of my iends - gay and straight, male and female - had sex wh adults om the ag of ne to 13. Shouldn't homophobic policians and anti-gay bulli be prumed to be gay until they get ught up a straight sex sndal?

It would be so helpful for the straight muny to see men powerful posns g out and sayg "I'm gay" so they don't have the prenceived notns that all gay men are smarmy idts livg on the street or whatever is people thk of gay men.

We need laws that protect everyone - men and women, straights and gays, regardls of sexual, persuasn.

I have gay iends, I support gay rights, I have nothg agast the gay muny, but when I see two guys kissg, I thk 's gross. Here is the real domo theory - gay man to gay man, bisexual man to straight woman, addict mother to newborn baby, they all fall down and someday will e to you.

[Marriage] a bond for life, and whether you're gay or straight, mak no difference to beg married.

My thoughts on gay marriage are that everyone has the right to love and be loved, and that's the posn I take.

I do believe eply that all human begs, male and female, are sexual begs, most likely bisexual begs channeled this way and that by cultur terrified of boundary crossgs whout passports stamped gay or straight.

My Amerin gay dience have ntued to dance and sg to the mic I make a way that straight Amerins haven't. What was so tertg about the glam era was that was about bisexualy and breakg down the boundari between gays and straights, breakg down the boundari between masculy and femy wh this androgyny thg. I went to my 30th high school rnn, and I uld tell who was gay and who was straight bee the gay people were like, 'Sarah, you've been dog so much, ' and the straight people were like, 'So, Sarah, what have you been dog?

So was a nice experience for me, a chance to clarify my own feelgs about gay and lbian civil rights. Exactly Straight women who surround themselv only wh gay men or whe people who refe any other race to their circl are unhealthy and has more to do wh one's dividual fear and dividual closets. My dad's gay experienc really had a very posive fluence on me and my straight relatnships - how to better accept all the weirdns and ambiguy and ups and downs and paradox.

” In orr to foster better male iendships for both straight and gay men, we might want to nsir engagg somethg they’ve historilly avoid: more ter-sexual-preference iendships, or what the New York Tim lled “bromosexual relatnships. But to fe better iendships and learn om each other, straight men like myself would of urse have to work past any nsc or subnsc homophobia they may harbor, fertilized urty of cultural toxic masculy. “For most of the gay men that I know, the majory of their iends are nstuted wh women and gay men, ” says Zach Rawlgs, a clil mental health unselor who works wh many clients the LGBTQ+ muny, and foc heavily on issu specific to men.

“I don’t know a lot of gay men who seek out or have a strong sire to be iends wh straight men, jt bee there’s a lot of wound men and a lot of trma that a lot of gay men have at the hands of straight men.