What Do It Mean to Be a Gay Man? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?
• PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS
• PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• 15 STEREOTYP THAT LIM OUR PERCEPTNS OF GAY MEN
• CHARACTERISTICS OF GAY, BISEXUAL AND OTHER MEN WHO HAVE SEX WH MEN WH MULTIPLE DIAGNOS OF INFECT SYPHILIS BRISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, 2005–2014 : SEXUALLY TRANSMTED DISEAS
• WHY ARE THERE GAY MEN?
• CHARACTERISTICS AND ALLOWED BEHAVRS OF GAY MALE UPL’ SEXUAL AGREEMENTS
• THE WAYS GAY MEN ARE MORE MASCULE THAN THEY REALIZE

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?

As every gay man knows who has been sulted or asslted for his actual or perceived sexual orientatn, there are steep penalti for vlatg the Boy Co as there are for anyone who is “different” om the prumed (typilly whe, heterosexual, middle-class) standard. Robert Pollack says the most important thg a fay n do to support their gay son is to keep lovg him, “to nvey to him, as soon as he shar his feelgs, that he is still loved through and through, that his sexual orientatn will not any way dimish how much he is admired and rpected. Fortunately there is a long history of gay men who bucked the accepted fns of masculy and created liv that exprsed their unrstandg of themselv and how they choose to exprs their inty as men who don’t necsarily f tradnal molds.

The late Harry Hay often lled "the father of the morn gay movement, " found the Mattache Society Los Angel the fall of 1950 for gay men to gather and ponr the qutns Hay had long been askg: Who are gay people? Hay didn’t tend the Mattach to be a polil anizatn per se, but a group that would e together to enhance their self-unrstandg and explore the ntributns gay people had ma to the human race through the ag. In a 1987 say tled “A Separate People Whose Time Has Come, ” Hay scribed homosexuals as “spir people, ” who, throughout the ag, had served society their rol as “msengers and tercers, shamans of both genrs, prits and prits, imagemakers and prophets, mim and rhapsos, poets and playwrights, healers and nurturers, teachers and preachers, tkers and tkerers, searchers and rearchers.

PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS

Keywords: Bears, Gay Culture, Gay and Bisexual Men, Self-teem, Masculy, ObyINTRODUCTIONThe gay muny is ultimately a heterogeneo one wh many subgroups and subcultur—one of the monali among them beg the sire to have same-sex enunters. Bee there is a arth of general rearch regardg this muny, and no studi to date that e quantative methods, we cid to explore this muny quantatively—g an Inter-nvenience sample, followed by a purposive suggted, the Bear culture exhibs and valu a greater sense of domant (but not necsarily domeerg) “thentic masculy” parison to other subcultur wh the gay muny (e. In rponse and ntrast wh Leathermen, Bears mata their mascule inty whout adoptg negative hypermascule tennci to acmodate all partners, spe their size or body is some theoretil support for why the Bear inty spltered om the gay male mastream culture.

PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS

Popular culture, the media, and Wtern hetero- and homosexual expectatns have normalized the ial male body as one that is lean, mcular, and v-shaped (wh broad shoulrs, a narrow waist, and a flat but well-fed stomach) (Olivardia, Pope, Borowiecki, & Cohane, 2000). G., poor self-image/self-teem) velop both heterosexual and homosexual men exhibg ls sirable physil tras (Beren, Hayn, Wilfley, & Grilo, 1996; Morrison, Morrison, & Sager, 2004; Pepl et al., 2009; Weer, 2009; Yelland & Tiggemann, 2003).

Whereas mastream gay men often do not engage sired or preferred sexual behavrs bee of fears of rejectn or judgment (Kamski, Chapman, Hayn, & Own, 2004), those the more acceptg Bear muny reject the fears due to their beg ultimately “feme” nature (Hennen, 2005). G., uratn, fistg, voyrism, exhibnism) (Grov, Parsons, & Bimbi, 2010) to the active existence of the Bear muny and regnn of this subculture by the larger gay/bisexual male culture, more rearch is need to explore the gree to which the prevly mentned physil, behavral, and psychologil differenc actually exist. Consirg the likely prevalence of a Bear inty may be held (wh varyg tenaci) by about 14–22% of gay men, the rults provi addnal evince for the manift and latent heterogeney of gay and bisexual rults regardg body tras and partner selectn nfirm, for the first time a systematic manner, fdgs documented prev terview and ethnographic studi.

To be able to take a fist or urate on another man may be how the men exemplify their form of masculy—particularly a sexual climate where most gay men do not want to, nnot, or will not enact the behavrs. Regardls of the potential explanatn, Bears appear to be more sexually diverse and explorative than mastream gay and bisexual rults documented lower self-teem, which ntradicted both our hypothis and others’ terview rearch (e.

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

In this rpect, Bears may overtimate and overstate re towards partners to self-prent as beg distct om men adherg to the mastream gay culture (which are often stereotyped as treatg partners as disposable) (Isay, 2009).

Whether the ems are applible to gay men, bisexuals, or men qutng their sexualy remas rpect to methods, the parabily of sampl may be somewhat uncerta, as one was llected through ter surveyg and the other, through paper survey. A study that answers the rearch qutns would provi further evince to support the heterogeney hypothis: Not only is the mastream gay muny culturally heterogeneo, but so are the sexual health behavrs and problems wh last suggtn for future rearch would be to tt some of the theori generated by the current data.

15 STEREOTYP THAT LIM OUR PERCEPTNS OF GAY MEN

"Th, " the thors wrote, "by g photos of gay and straight dividuals that they themselv did not post, we were able to remove the fluence of self-prentatn and much of the potential selectn bias that may be prent photos om personal advertisements. And even wh the more strgent ntrols, the participants were able to intify the gay fac at levels greater than chance—aga even on those trials where the fac were flickered on the screen for a mere 50 lisends. For example, when shown only the eye regn ("whout brows and cropped to the outer nthi so that not even "crow's-feet" were visible"), perceivers were amazgly still able to accurately intify a man as beg gay.

"A man, ually homosexual, wh a distctly effete facial stcture wh some very specific featur; a strong jawle [sic] that lacks promence, space between the ey that rell people wh down syndrome [sic], and a slopg, long forehead. A lot of gays are macho and wouldn't be seen ad wh an effemate man, I've even met effemate gays that aren't sure whether they are gay or not, but given the choice they would prefer to go wh a macho, straight actg guy.

Th, our rults showed that differenc facial morphology of homosexual and heterosexual men do not simply mirror variatn femy, and the stereotypic associatn of feme lookg men as homosexual may nfound judgments of sexual orientatn.

CHARACTERISTICS OF GAY, BISEXUAL AND OTHER MEN WHO HAVE SEX WH MEN WH MULTIPLE DIAGNOS OF INFECT SYPHILIS BRISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, 2005–2014 : SEXUALLY TRANSMTED DISEAS

Stereotyp about gay men are stctive to both how society views , as well as to how we view society mak fun of and gras gay men for thgs that are patently unte, young gay men are left whout proper role mols, failed by a society that scrib them wh generalizatns. Stereotyp may be ground the tth or be plete and utter falsehoods, but they are dangero regardls of where they e opprsn and reprsn of gay men throughout history — om ancient tim and early Christiany to the morn AIDS crisis — has been rooted fear and falsi. Gay men are tryg to stroy your marriag, take the Christ out of Christmas and brg the wrath of God upon our, Rh Limbgh, but we are not tryg to value your fourth marriage (That actually might be you, Mr.

WHY ARE THERE GAY MEN?

Many lbian, gay and bisexual people have early heterosexual experienc, but are still lbian, gay or bisexual; many avowed heterosexuals have had sexual ntact wh members of their own sex, but are still heterosexual. But nsirg that the tra disurag the type of sex that leads to procreatn — that is, sex wh women — and would therefore seem to thwart s own chanc of beg geilly passed on to the next generatn, why are there gay men at all? For several years, studi led by Andrea Camper Ciani at the Universy of Padova Italy and others have found that mothers and maternal nts of gay men tend to have signifintly more offsprg than the maternal relativ of straight men.

The rults show strong support for the "balancg selectn hypothis, " which is fast beg the accepted theory of the geic basis of male theory holds that the same geic factors that duce gayns mal also promote fecundy (high reproductive succs) those mal' female maternal relativ. Through this tra-off, the maternal relativ' "gay man gen, " though they aren't exprsed as such, tend to get passed to future generatns spe of their tenncy to make their male herors no one knows which gen, exactly, the might be, at least one of them appears to be loted on the X chromosome, acrdg to geic molg by Camper Ciani and his lleagu.

Mal her only one X chromosome — the one om their mother — and if clus the gene that promot gayns mal and fecundy femal, he is likely to be gay while his mom and her female relativ are likely to have lots of kids. Prevly, the Italian rearchers suggted that the "gay man gene" might simply crease androphilia, or attractn to men, thereby makg the mal who posss the gene homosexual and the femal who posss more promiscuo.

CHARACTERISTICS AND ALLOWED BEHAVRS OF GAY MALE UPL’ SEXUAL AGREEMENTS

The androphilic pattern that we found is about femal who crease their reproductive value to attract the bt mal, " Camper Ciani told Life's Ltle out, the moms and nts of gay men have an advantage over the moms and nts of straight men for several reasons: They are more fertile, displayg fewer gynelogil disorrs or plitns durg pregnancy; they are more extroverted, as well as funnier, happier and more relaxed; and they have fewer fay problems and social anxieti.

THE WAYS GAY MEN ARE MORE MASCULE THAN THEY REALIZE

Bee UAI is the primary sexual risk behavr for acquisn of HIV among gay men (Coat, 2008), studi have asssed which relatnship factors affect gay men’s engagement of UAI wh and outsi of their sexual relatnships.

For stance, prr rearch has intified that gay men have UAI wh their ma partners as a way to foster and strengthen their mment to and satisfactn wh the relatnship (Davidovich, W, & Stroebe, 2006; Vroome, Stroebe, Sandfort, W, & Van Griensven, 2000; McLean et al., 1994; McNeal, 1997; Worth, Reid, & McMillan, 2002), as well as, to monstrate love, timacy, and tst for one another (Appleby, Miller, & Rothspan, 1999; Blais, 2006; Davidovich, W, & Stroebe, 2004; Vroome et al., 2000; McLean et al., 1994; McNeal, 1997; Worth et al., 2002) addn to practicg UAI wh their ma partners, some studi have intified a subgroup of gay men who also have UAI wh sual MSM partners (Chakravarty, Hoff, Neilands, & Darb, 2012; Gass, Hoff, Stephenson, & Sullivan, 2012; Mchell, Harvey, Champe, & Seal, 2012; Mchell & Petroll, 2012). Though the specific reasons why partnered gay men practice UAI wh and outsi of their relatnships rema unknown, yet important for HIV preventn, rearch has intified some factors versely associated wh practicg UAI outsi of relatnships. For example, among gay upl who practice UAI, men who received HIV-specific social support om their ma partners and those who had higher levels of mment and value to their sexual agreements were ls likely to have had UAI wh a sual MSM partner (Darb, Chakravarty, Beougher, Neilands, & Hoff, 2011; Mchell et al., 2012; Mchell & Petroll, 2012).

To better asss HIV risk among gay male upl, rearch has begun to exame the role that sexual agreements may have on gay men’s practice of UAI wh their ma and their sual MSM partners (Crawford, Rodn, Kippax, & Van Ven, 2001; Davidovich, W, & Stroebe, 2000; Gass et al., 2012; Gomez et al., 2012; Hoff & Beougher, 2010; Hoff, Beougher, Chakravarty, Darb, & Neilands, 2010; Hoff et al., 2009; Kippax, Crawford, Davis, Rodn, & Dowsett, 1993; Kippax et al., 1997; Mchell et al., 2012; Mchell, Harvey, Champe, Moskowz, & Seal, 2011; Mchell & Petroll, 2012; Prtage et al., 2006; Prtage et al., 2008; Wheldon & Pathak, 2009) the U. S., Europe and Atralia, sexual agreements appear to be mon among gay male upl (Crawford et al., 2001; Davidovich et al., 2000; Elford, Boldg, Maguire, & Sherr, 1999; Gass et al., 2012; Hoff & Beougher, 2010; Mchell et al., 2012; More-Get, Jeann, Dubois-Arber, & Spencer, 2000; Prtage et al., 2006; Prtage et al., 2008). One particular type of an open sexual agreement is lled “negotiated safety”, which allows HIV-negative seronrdant gay male upl to practice UAI wh their relatnship as long as both partner’s serostat rema HIV negative and both men practice safer sex wh sendary partners (Kippax et al., 1997).