The Gospel for a Gay Friend

Contents:

• ‘GOD MA ME GAY’
• LLIE JORDAN TELLS SHANIA TWA 'GOD MA ME' GAY, WHY HE 'QU GOG' TO CHURCH: 'I'M NOT A MISTAKE'
• DO GOD MAKE PEOPLE GAY? A THEOLOGIAN RPONDS
• “WHY DON’T GOD ANSWER PRAYERS TO TAKE AWAY GAY FEELGS?”
• THE GOSPEL FOR A GAY FRIEND
• THE POPE SAYS GOD MA GAY PEOPLE JT AS WE SHOULD BE – HERE’S WHY HIS MENTS MATTER
• GOD MA ME GAY

‘GOD MA ME GAY’

This appeal to personal experience is so pellg to so many people that Marshall Kirk and Hunter Madsen, their 1989 “gay manifto” After the Ball, remend that homosexual advot work to persua the public that “gays are victims of circumstance, that they no more chose their sexual orientatn than they did, say, their height, sk lor, talents, or limatns. Gays should be nsired to have been “born gay”—even though sexual orientatn, for most humans, seems to be the product of a plex teractn between nate predisposns and environmental factors durg childhood and early adolcence. Even though ’s a good example of an ner sire that most people agree we shouldn’t act on (though ’s creasgly beg viewed clil circl as a “sexual orientatn” like any other), most people will jt hear you sayg that “homosexualy is the same as pedophilia.

In an terview wh Shania Twa on the first anniversary of her Home Now Rad show on Apple Mic Hs, Jordan, 66, opened up about his childhood and what was like to be gay growg up a relig fay, as he talked about his recently released Company's Com'. Even if they agree wh the Bible that homosexualy is a s and rolve not to seek fulfillment of their sexual sir, they mt still fd love other relatnships—the self-sacrificg love of agape and the iendly pannship of phileo. She is a equent speaker for MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) and Stonecroft Mistri (Christian Women's Connectns), and serv on the board of Livg Hope Mistri, a Christ-centered outreach to those alg wh unwanted homosexualy.

Then I wrote this letter to Louise, reflectg what I now have e to believe is the tth about homosexualy, what the Bible says and what God wants to thk and do about I want others to study serly this matter of such importance to many liv and many church and nomatns. LoweJanuary 2002To: Louise, ar iend, beloved of GodFrom: Bce, by the immeasurable grace of God, a brother ChristYour heavy-hearted words to Anna Marie and me the last time we saw you will always burn our hearts: "My brother hat God bee God ma him gay, and he knows he is gog to hell, and I do, too, for that is what the Bible says. It distrs me, though, to realize that most others of our church people do not know the facts about homosexualy and what the Bible really says, and that their thkg, like my prev ncept, is based on supposns, not facts, and on feelgs, which, of urse, have no place a thoughtful nsiratn of facts.

LLIE JORDAN TELLS SHANIA TWA 'GOD MA ME' GAY, WHY HE 'QU GOG' TO CHURCH: 'I'M NOT A MISTAKE'

Advanc the scienc, particularly psychology, the last 100 years have shown that not all people are heterosexual; some are homosexual, and their homosexualy is an unchangeable nature, not a ncept of a homosexual nature first appeared prt Europe 1869 and the Uned Stat 1889. The Amerin Psychologil Associatn followed wh siar actn two years Thielicke, a theologian nservativ rpect highly and quote often, regnized his work, The Ethics of Sex, wrten some forty years ago, that at least some gays and lbians have "nstutnal homosexualy, " and therefore we mt "accept" the fact that is "curable, " that "our attu toward [] chang" [his alics].

"1-1Evince that homosexualy is unchangeable clus: (a) ten thoand suicis each year of young homosexuals unwillg to face life wh that orientatn; (b) the high percentage of homosexuals who go to psychotherapists sperately wantg to change their orientatn, and then (c) the very small percentage of them reportedly beg changed after hundreds of hours and thoands of dollars beg spent psychotherapy; (d) the lns of homosexuals who rema " the closet, " not actg like homosexuals and not wantg anyone to learn of their orientatn; (e) the thoands who are reported as g to pastors and unselors vastated to have to regnize their unchangeable orientatn and wantg assistance alg wh . It is believed that most of the are not te homosexuals, but bee of some trma childhood they adopted homosexual tras; wh the, psychotherapy n often do away wh the rults of the trma and lead the person back to his or her natural heterosexualy.

Some church people who are not acceptg of gays and lbians may say that homosexualy is an aberratn of nature and that God don't want , jt as he don`t want a child wh Downs Syndrome bee of the limatns plac on that child throughout life. But homosexuals have no physil or mental limatns, and there is nothg about the homosexual that n be fed as an accept as unchangeable but say is like the predisposn to alholism--that a person wh this predisposn is not to blame for havg , but sce actg on n lead to much stctn many liv, the person is rponsible for not actg on and, if he be an alholic, needs to rever om . " First, he says, the damagg effects of active alholism are readily apparent, but the APA ceased characterizg homosexualy as a disease "bee there was no clil evince that homosexual activy rulted any more stctive behavrs than was the se for persons engagg heterosexual activy.

DO GOD MAKE PEOPLE GAY? A THEOLOGIAN RPONDS

We should embrace gays and lbians and mutually help one another achieve the purpos God has for The homosexual is jt as normal a person as a heterosexual and should not be thought of sexual Hooker, who tght psychology at UCLA, nducted the ".. First vtigatn to whether or not homosexualy was an illns that examed a populatn of `normal' gay men--men who were not rints of mental hospals, prisoners, or distrsed patients therapy [mon subjects of study at that time], but ordary people livg ordary, if closeted, 1956 Hooker prented her fdgs--that no psychologil differenc existed between homosexual and heterosexual men--before the annual meetgs of the Amerin Psychologil Associatn. Among the difficulti n be enumerated the agoni of remorse and self-torture over what typil homosexuals feel to be their immoral sir, whether the arise om nsc inty wh the nmnatns of Church and society or om nrotic nflicts wh themselv; their openns to blackmail and other forms of timidatn; their stat of beg outsi the normal protectn of the law; their necsy ntually to nceal what they equently believe to be their te inty om public view, wh the add threat that accintal revelatn uld rult loss of their job, expulsn om school, dishonorable discharge om ary service, loss of future secury and job opportuni, loss of iends and the rpect of fay and pennts.

"6-1 He relat this:In preparg for her novel The Drowng of Stephen Jon, based upon the te story of a young gay man tossed om a bridge to his ath by a group of young gay-bashers, thor Bette Greene terviewed more than four hundred young men jail for var forms of gay-bashg. )In the summer of 1998 fundamentalist Christian anizatns, fearful of the nsiratn by some stat of regnizg same-genr marriage, spent hundreds of thoands of dollars on ads major newspapers tellg the natn that gays and lbians are "sick" and "sful, " that they n and should be "cured, " and that their rights and protectns should be nied.

“WHY DON’T GOD ANSWER PRAYERS TO TAKE AWAY GAY FEELGS?”

6-3Louise, one of the first thgs I realized when I started to thk about this subject was that the lns of gays and lbians this natn will never, wh few exceptns, darken the doors of our church, bee they know our attu toward them is one of hatred and nmnatn. Who knows how many hundreds of thoands of liv have been lost - to vlence, to suici, to dgs, to promiscuy, to AIDS, to shattered self-teem, to life forever outsi the doors of the church - bee we have participated or by silence llud wh the meang and the ostracizg of homosexual people.

THE GOSPEL FOR A GAY FRIEND

All the wonrful thgs our church are dog and the immeasurable importance they are to our society n't ver up our woeful failur this Gays and lbians general have the potential for outstandg character and acplishment; some may have greater potential than most heterosexuals to be exceptnal is well known that while certa characteristics are domant men and others domant women, all people have some of both characteristics.

Psychologist Mark Friedman, om a seri of tts admistered to both gays and lbians, found that the homosexuals he tted were superr to their heterosexual unterparts such psychologil quali as tonomy, spontaney, orientatn toward the prent, and creased sensivy to the value of the person.

"7-2The ement psychologist Jung giv five very posive aspects of the homosexual male:· This [homosexualy] giv him a great pacy for iendship, which often creat ti of astonishg tenrns between men, and may even rcue iendship between the sex om s limbo of the impossible. 7-3A special hope for homosexual fluence on society is exprsed by McNeill:There is no doubt that the homosexual man is eer to velop athetic valu than is his male unterpart the heterosexual world, and th he has an important role to play guidg humany to a eper appreciatn of athetic valu....

THE POPE SAYS GOD MA GAY PEOPLE JT AS WE SHOULD BE – HERE’S WHY HIS MENTS MATTER

While gays and lbians make up probably 4%-6% of the populatn, a study of the bgraphi of 1004 ement people found 11% of them to be homosexual or bisexual, wh certa tegori higher: 24% of poets, 21% of fictn wrers, and 15% of artists and micians. 7-5Louise, seems as though one ought to look on a gay or a lbian as potentially a very special person ma that way by God, one we should seek out, pecially for our It is not only unrealistic to expect homosexuals to live whout sex, but also is psychologilly harmful to them for them to do we are face to face wh the qutn of what is moral sex exprsn. Sce the mds and hearts of gays and lbians are no way limed, are no different om the mds and hearts of heterosexuals, they n have the same creria as heterosexuals for a moral sex thgs clearly dite that requirg celibacy of gays and lbians nnot be supported by the Bible, is unjtifiable om an ethil standpot, and n be damagg psychologilly.

Many have terrized the homophobia of the surroundg culture and the Church and as a nsequence hate and fear their sexual live out a life of abstence bee of ser trma to their pacy for timacy wh another who have reprsed or nied their homosexual feelgs for pathologil reasons are the on greatt danger of actg out those needs pulsively, impntly, and unnscly, seekg punishment for what they see as their crime.... 4:1-4, speakg of marriage beg good and not to be nied bee "everythg created by God is good, " would clu homosexual marriage bee God created rpected theologians are g to the ncln that gays and lbians need to velop timate and mted relatnships.

GOD MA ME GAY

"8-8 McNeill believ, "Only a sadistic God would create lns of humans as gay wh no choice the matter and no hope of changg and then ny them the right to exprs their gayns a lovg relatnship for the rt of their liv unr threat of eternal damnatn. '"8-11In 1975 a symposium on homosexualy at the annual meetg of the Christian Associatn for Psychologil Studi [note Christian Associatn] reported that behavral science rearch and the reali of their clil practice had forced them to propose that while promiscuy, fornitn, and adultery should be regard as sful for both homosexual and heterosexual persons, a lovg, mted, permanent relatnship between two persons of the same sex was an entirely different tegory and was not nmned Scripture, and that Christians burned wh an voluntary homosexual orientatn uld choose a mted homosexual relatnship as wh God's will rather than an unwanted celibacy.

8-12If I n believe as I do, that gays and lbians n have their hearts and mds the creria set forth here their relatnships, then I n believe, as I have e to, that they n engage lovg sex that is moral and that provis for their psychologil needs--God-created needs--as celibacy nnot. 8-13) Many believe that number would crease if society accepted homosexualy for what is and enuraged mted relatnships, as do heterosexual Full acceptance by society, cludg the blsgs and legaly of marriage should be extend to gays and lbians the same way is extend to, if is moral as well as psychologilly needful--a God-created need--for homosexuals to live as upl mted relatnships, as many theologians and psychologists have said is, then homosexuals who are lovg, long-term, mted relatnships should have the societal rights and privileg that marriage n give them. Jam Nelson, Profsor of Christian Ethics, believ that "same-sex relatnships are fully pable of exprsg God's humanizg tentns, " and views the "homosexual problem" as "more tly a heterosexual problem" (of homophobia), jt as the "woman problem" is a problem of "male sexism.

9-5Lbians and gays have some tertg thoughts about same-genr relatnships:The fact that we are a same-sex relatnship means that the pretermatn of rol by genr, sometim so stctive a force heterosexual relatnships, is not relevant to our liv. Josh Billgs, thank you for your As society, gays and lbians should be accepted and affirmed our church and given any opportuny for service, cludg ordatn, that others know that for the past or so most Prottant nomatns have been batg whether to affirm, and pecially whether to orda, homosexuals. 10-1In 1973 the Uned Church of Christ's Executive Council urged the full acceptance of homosexual persons symbolized by ordatn: "In the stance of nsirg a stated homosexual's ndidacy for ordatn the issue should not be his/her homosexualy as such, but rather the ndidate's total view of human sexualy and his/her unrstandg of the moraly of s e.