When Your Child Is Gay | Psychology Today

Contents:

• OPN I’M GAY. AND I WANT MY KID TO BE GAY, TOO.
• I’M TRYG TO RAISE MY KIDS AS HOMOSEXUALS (AND I NEVER EVEN HAVE TO SAY ‘GAY’)
• WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY
• I N'T FIVE MY DGHTER FOR BEG GAY
• MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
• I DON'T WANT MY TEEN HANGG AROUND GAY PARENTS
• IS MY SON GAY OR IS A PHASE?
• MOM WHO WANTS HER KID TO BE GAY SPARKS CONVERSATN
• IF THEY 'SAY GAY,' WILL MY CHILD BE SAFE? PARENTS OF LGBTQ KIDS ARE SRED OF PYT LAWS

OPN I’M GAY. AND I WANT MY KID TO BE GAY, TOO.

They immediately clocked as gay, while we immediately clocked them as we warmed up to another, one mom anxly said: "I have a qutn: I am pretty sure my son is gay, but I don't know what to do. "For example, if someone the word "gay" place of "stupid, " remd them that the two are not terchangeable, and suggt they should say what they actually mean stead.

"The rourc n help:PFLAG: The untry’s largt anizatn ung parents, fai, and alli wh people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and Spectm: Offers groups, trag, and rourc promotg genr sensivy and cln for all youthGLBT Natnal Rource Database: LGBTQ+ digal directory of rourcNatnal Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network: Directory of therapists/unselors who are people of lorNatnal LGBTQ Task Force: The progrsive advocy arm of the LGBTQ+ movementDurg LGBTQ Pri Month, TODAY is sharg the muny’s history, pa, joy and what’s next for the movement. As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart. I had spected at tim that he was gay.

I’M TRYG TO RAISE MY KIDS AS HOMOSEXUALS (AND I NEVER EVEN HAVE TO SAY ‘GAY’)

Had I asked him if he were gay when he was 13, he probably would have fensively said "No! San Berland, the mother of a gay son who ach parents of LGBTQ kids, utn, "It's not a good ia to ask.

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY

Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this.

Mol acceptance by not g gay slurs and never tellg gay jok. Watch gay-themed shows together such as "The Fosters" and "Will and Grace. " How do they pict gay people?

I N'T FIVE MY DGHTER FOR BEG GAY

React kdly to gay people the news or on televisn. In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay.

I’m gay.

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

And I want my kid to be gay, of my straight iends, even the most liberal, see this logic as warped. Perhaps he jt meant that ’s easier to be straight a homophobic culture.

I DON'T WANT MY TEEN HANGG AROUND GAY PARENTS

But was impossible to know whether he meant to sulate me om the world’s bias or implicly ratnalize his ia that no one would choose to be gay is wily held — even the gay rights movement.

In the early '90s, partly as a rponse to the stctive notn that gay people uld be changed, activists prsed the ia of sexualy as a fixed, nate state. Scientists even tried to prove that there's a "gay gene.

The ia that folks are "born gay" beme not only the theme of a Lady Gaga song, but the implic ratnale for gay rights. “I wouldn’t even choose for myself to be gay, ” a iend once told me.

IS MY SON GAY OR IS A PHASE?

It was a sad admissn, bee she upon a time, of urse, “gay” meant “happy.

Gay beme an unfortunate, even piable stat. When the gay liberatn activist Frankl Kameny lnched a simple effort 1968 to proclaim that “gay is good, ” was bee, at the time, very much wasn’t. Until 1973, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn nsired homosexualy a form of mental illns.

MOM WHO WANTS HER KID TO BE GAY SPARKS CONVERSATN

And while gay-posive culture has flourished sce, our aspiratns haven’t kept pace.

It’s more wily acceptable to be gay Ameri today, but that’s not the same as beg sirable. In my hoe, though, you might expect me to say somethg about how, if my dghter were gay, she would undoubtedly face challeng and hurdl she wouldn’t enunter if she were straight. But if my dghter wants to be an artist, I’ll enurage her all the way — and work to stroy any barriers along her path, not put them up, I’ve never for a sgle send regretted beg gay, nor saw as anythg other than an asset and a gift.

By the time my dghter of age, she’ll have even more of a support work, cludg two moms, for cryg out than that, though, beg gay opened my ey to the world around me. Learng that not every gay person had as good as I did helped me realize that a lot of people general didn’t have as good as I did. I wouldn’t be a polilly engaged human beg, let alone an activist, wrer and TV personaly, if I weren’t my dghter is gay, I don’t worry about her havg a hard life.

IF THEY 'SAY GAY,' WILL MY CHILD BE SAFE? PARENTS OF LGBTQ KIDS ARE SRED OF PYT LAWS

I want my dghter to know that beg gay is equally sirable to beg straight. The problem is not the ia that homosexualy uld be a choice but the ia that heterosexualy should be pulsory.