'Did I ever really know him?': the women who married gay men | LGBTQ+ rights | The Guardian

Contents:

• ASK JOHN: 'I'VE HAD A GAY AFFAIR ON MY WIFE'
• 'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN
• ANYBODY ELSE WHOSE HBAND HAS HAD GAY AFFAIR?
• IS YOUR HBAND GAY? 6 SIGNS THAT COULD BE A CSE FOR CONCERN
• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY
• ASK BRIAN: I FOUND MY BOYIEND AND HIS BT IEND SWEATY AND ALONE TOGETHER - ARE THEY HAVG A GAY AFFAIR?
• HBAND HAVG A GAY AFFAIR DREAM MEANGS

ASK JOHN: 'I'VE HAD A GAY AFFAIR ON MY WIFE'

Thgs sudnly shifted si my head, and I went om thkg I was straight to knowg I am gay. She found his onle er name and password for a gay chat room. One gay man nonted his partner, sayg, "Do you have a boyiend?

Some men who have sex wh men (MSM) thk they are too straight to be gay, but others see them as too gay to be straight. Acrdg to the Centers for Disease Control, about 7 percent of men have sex wh men, but gay men are timated at about 4 percent of the populatn. The figur suggt that about 3 percent of MSM do not intify themselv as gay.

'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN

Lisa Diamond has wrten that the genr of women's sexual sire may be fluid, but rearchers generally agree that for men homosexual attractns never reverse. Some gay activists cricize MSM as not beg "actualized. MSM may say they are engaged homosexual behavr but rist assumg a gay inty bee they don't intify wh the stereotype.

Beg gay and dog gay is not the same thg. One Mlim om the Middle East said, "This isn't about beg gay; 's only about pleasure.

ANYBODY ELSE WHOSE HBAND HAS HAD GAY AFFAIR?

" Future efforts to supprs homosexual attractn may e MSM to experience sadns; prsn and thoughts of suici; dg and alhol abe; and other self-stctive behavrs. For MSM, the first qutn they mt answer is, "How would you tend to live your life if the homosexual attractns never go away? Are you prepared for the huiatn of public exposure of your spoe's illic homosexual activy?

IS YOUR HBAND GAY? 6 SIGNS THAT COULD BE A CSE FOR CONCERN

Coupl mt addrs the primary issue: Should they rema married given the permanency of his stggle agast homosexual attractn?

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

Bee there was so much to disver and try to unrstand, we cid he need space to date, to fd out if he was gay or some other orientatn, and to learn exactly what this meant for him ― and for . “I cid that if he was gay, I uld be his bt iend ex-wife and we uld have this big gay fay. I helped create his onle datg profile, took sexy pictur of him to upload, and sent him advice articl on gay relatnships.

”In between bouts of cryg the shower, sleepls nights and readg every self-help book sold on Amazon, I cid that if Stuart was gay, I uld be his bt iend ex-wife and we uld have this big gay fay.

ASK BRIAN: I FOUND MY BOYIEND AND HIS BT IEND SWEATY AND ALONE TOGETHER - ARE THEY HAVG A GAY AFFAIR?

Was she accg me of turng her hband gay? Like the time he told me he had gone on a porn se to see how gay men “do . I’ve known upl, gay and straight, who were open relatnships.

The steam room and sna at my lol Y served as a kd of after-work social club for men who were gay ― and for those who had wiv and kids. I knew a gay imprar when I lived San Francis the 1980s.

One night he threw a dner party for his gay circle of iends at Trar Vic’s. I know homosexualy is a s.

HBAND HAVG A GAY AFFAIR DREAM MEANGS

What you need, above all, is to accept the fact that you’re gay or I thk you knew I was gog to tell you that. I thk that’s why you wrote me, so that I would affirm what you already let’s affirm: As surely as birds fly and be buzz, you, my iend, are gay or bi.

What nature wants, nature, one way or another, ’t be awome if you had never your life believed that beg gay is a s?

Maybe I’m gay or bi.