What Do It Mean to Be a Gay Man? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?
• WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT BEG GAY?: PERSPECTIV OM YOUTH
• 17 SIGNS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GAY (AND JT DON'T KNOW IT)
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE A GAY TEEN
• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE GAY? DEFN AND MEANG OF GAY
• WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?

As every gay man knows who has been sulted or asslted for his actual or perceived sexual orientatn, there are steep penalti for vlatg the Boy Co as there are for anyone who is “different” om the prumed (typilly whe, heterosexual, middle-class) standard.

Robert Pollack says the most important thg a fay n do to support their gay son is to keep lovg him, “to nvey to him, as soon as he shar his feelgs, that he is still loved through and through, that his sexual orientatn will not any way dimish how much he is admired and rpected. Fortunately there is a long history of gay men who bucked the accepted fns of masculy and created liv that exprsed their unrstandg of themselv and how they choose to exprs their inty as men who don’t necsarily f tradnal molds. The late Harry Hay often lled "the father of the morn gay movement, " found the Mattache Society Los Angel the fall of 1950 for gay men to gather and ponr the qutns Hay had long been askg: Who are gay people?

WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT BEG GAY?: PERSPECTIV OM YOUTH

Hay didn’t tend the Mattach to be a polil anizatn per se, but a group that would e together to enhance their self-unrstandg and explore the ntributns gay people had ma to the human race through the ag.

In a 1987 say tled “A Separate People Whose Time Has Come, ” Hay scribed homosexuals as “spir people, ” who, throughout the ag, had served society their rol as “msengers and tercers, shamans of both genrs, prits and prits, imagemakers and prophets, mim and rhapsos, poets and playwrights, healers and nurturers, teachers and preachers, tkers and tkerers, searchers and rearchers. Photograph: JOERG CARSTENSEN/EPA Photograph: JOERG CARSTENSEN/EPAPenal § 175, outlawg gay sex, was of urse abolished s ago, we have openly gay foreign misters and other openly lbian and gay policians - and 's been legal now to "marry" your partner by mtg to a civil unn (whout some rights like the right to adoptn as a uple etc. But recent homophobic attacks agast Ban-Württemberg's proposed new school curriculum that clus the teachg of sexual diversy shows there's lots of rentment unr the urse, pared to havg to fear for one's personal safety on a daily basis, thgs Germany are pretty good.

And 's not jt annoyg but sad that smaller German towns, gays and lbians are practilly visible and are too aaid to be regnised by neighbours or boss to jo a gay para, if there is one the first place. My experience is that day to day, and as dividuals most Northern Irish people aren't homophobic anymore but lags behd the rt of the UK laws and the polil culture is far om other parts of the world affected by polil homophobia there is a strong lk to nservative relig groups and tribal policians, who fight any posive move ma for gay people as a way of motivatg their re vot and followers. There is still a very lively gay scene, but when you venture to different bars there are many plac where everyone is mixg, and not even nsirg sexualy as an thg that has advanced life for LGBT people Mexi Cy was the passg of laws to legalise gay marriage.

17 SIGNS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GAY (AND JT DON'T KNOW IT)

Addnal primary them and sub-them were intified wh each tegory that further illtrate how gay/bisexual youth were able to velop posive nceptualizatns of their sexual orientatn spe experiencg negative societal msag about beg gay/bisexual. Keywords: Bisexual, gay, male, riliency, sexual orientatn, youthAdolcence is a velopmental perd where young people are maturg physilly, emotnally and socially as they transn to adulthood (Erikson, 1980; Hill, 1983).

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

When the fluenc are negative, psychologil distrs among adolcents may rult, pecially for those youth who intify as lbian, gay, or bisexual (Almeida, Johnson, Corliss, Molnar & Azrael, 2009; Hershberger & D’Augelli, 1995; Ueno, 2005). One study that addrsed this topic prented riliency strategi among lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr (LGBT) young people North Wt England and South Wal wh the ntext of hetero-normative environments (Surfield, Roen & McDermott, 2008).

The thors assert that even though the young men were livg a hetero-normative Puerto Rin culture wh pervasive homophobia and cultural stigma, they veloped riliency strategi that helped them to overe potential obstacl.

This was one of the few studi found to prent riliency strategi veloped by gay/bisexual adolcents to bat negative social and cultural ntug rearch is need on the velopmental challeng faced by LGB adolcents, pecially those who are also members of other opprsed groups such as youth of lor, a parallel le of scientific quiry is also need to explore the strengths and rilienci monstrated by LGB youth. Such limatns do not allow for a more nuanced unrstandg of the current lived experienc of LGB youth’s inty exploratn procs, as has been seen more recent qualative studi of sexual orientatn inty (Ja, Harper, Fernanz, & the ATN, 2009)The purpose of the current study is to provi sights to the posive nceptualizatns that gay/bisexual male adolcents posss regardg their sexual orientatn inty utilizg qualative phenomenologil and nstctivist ameworks. Although we did quire about the full range of perceptns and experienc related to sexual orientatn inty the larger study om which the data were extracted, we chose to foc solely on the posive aspects of posssg a gay/bisexual sexual orientatn inty for the current vtigatn given the lack of empiril data foced specifilly on riliency-related factors among gay/bisexual male adolcents.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

We unrstand and acknowledge that gay/bisexual youth are also nonted wh challeng related to their sexual orientatn inty and enurage rears to exame prr lerature prented earlier for an exploratn of such factors.

Sce prr rearch also has monstrated that sexual orientatn inty velopment for female adolcents and adults is different than that of male adolcents and adults (Diamond, 2005; Diamond & Sav-Williams, 2000; Schneir, 2001), we also foc this vtigatn exclively on gay/bisexual male adolcents. In orr to take part the study, participants met the followg eligibily creria: 1) be blogilly male; 2) be between the ag of 14 and 22; 3) self-intify as Ain Amerin, Hispanic/Lato, or Whe non-Hispanic/European Amerin; 4) self-intify as gay, bisexual, or qutng; 5) have no knowledge of beg HIV posive; 6) live the Chigo or Miami metropolan area; and 7) read and unrstand English. The youth reprented the qualative subsample of adolcents who participated a larger mixed-methods rearch study foced on multiple inty velopment and sexual risk/protectn among gay/bisexual male adolcents, which was nducted wh the Adolcent Trials Network for HIV/AIDS Interventns.

The ame was stratified by age (14–17, 18–20, and 21–22), level of gay/bisexual sexual orientatn inty (low and high), and race/ethnicy (Ain Amerin, European Amerin, and Lato) orr to produce a sample that reprents velopmental and inty-related variatns. RESULTSThe data related to youths’ nceptualizatns of beg gay/bisexual revealed two major nceptual tegori—1) posive personal nceptualizatns of beg gay/bisexual and 2) riliency the face of gay-related opprsn.

WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE A GAY TEEN

(Sean, 21 year old, Eastern European gay male)Another participant who mented on nnectedns wh femal argued that the reason for this closens is the fact that straight men typilly beiend women for sexual purpos, while gay men do not. Um, 's, 's very easy to, to, when you do fd somebody that is, that is very siar to yourself, 's very easy to fd a nnectn wh them bee they've endured a lot of the same hardships that you have and, and you, and 's easy to talk, I feel like 's very easy to talk to somebody else who is gay, bee they've experienced a lot of the same thgs that I have g and velopg their inty. (Patrick, 20 year old, Whe gay male)Riliency the Face of Gay-Related OpprsnAlthough many of the youth foced on posive nceptualizatns of beg gay/bisexual, some intified ways which they had monstrated riliency the face of opprsn.

The followg youth talks about the fun he has wh his iends who are not gay/bisexual and emphasiz that a cril aspect of his relatnship wh them is that they do not “judge” him or hold negative views of gay/bisexual people.

Emotnal self-re was discsed the ntext of acknowledgg and beg aware of the negative emotnal impact of heterosexist societal msag on them as gay/bisexual young men, and then buildg ristance strategi to such pervasive negativy. Bee there's a lot of homophobic people out there (Jose, 19 year old, Hispanic queer male)Physil self-re was typilly discsed the ntext of physil appearance and sexual health, such as rryg ndoms orr to protect one om sexually transmted fectns.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE GAY? DEFN AND MEANG OF GAY

This sub-theme was not directly nnected to experienc of opprsn as gay/bisexual youth, but some of the youth did note higher rat of HIV among gay/bisexual men as a motivatg factor their e of ndoms durg sexual activy.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

(Kev, 21 year old, Multiracial bisexual male)Gay/bisexual youth who reported the rejectn of stereotyp as another form of riliency strsed the importance of velopg a posive sense of self that is not rtricted by societal msag regardg what gay/bisexual men “should” do, thk, and feel.

The followg youth emphasiz the need for youth to unrstand the shared history of the gay muny, and the sacrific that people have ma the past (cludg ath) so that the youth of today n have greater eedoms. Exampl of such munal efforts may clu the anizatn of polil ralli and public foms or participatn tnal enavors to discs issu primarily affectg LGBT discsg their sexual inti, many participants scribed exampl of societal margalizatn and discrimatn of gay/bisexual people that is nsistent wh prev rearch (c. Neverthels, spe difficulti, most participants strived to bat societal forc wh the help of social works, rercg earlier fdgs on rilienci and pg strategi employed by gay/bisexual male youth (Surfield et al., 2008; Toro-Alfonso et al., 2006).